Dad obviously hears more than I give him credit for; I always thought he switched off whenever I talked about anything IT-related.
‘No, it’s ongoing. But it can wait.’
‘Don’t take this the wrong way, my son, but I hope you’re going into this with your eyes wide open.’
Before I can respond, Mum walks into the office, which is in the garage conversion next to the kitchen.
‘What’s this? The job at Bay Tree?’
‘I was just offering a bit of advice.’ Dad glances at Mum, who narrows her eyes a little, warning him to stop there. He shifts uneasily in his seat and then hoists himself up, to leave the two of us alone together.
‘Dad means well, Luke.’ Mum walks over to place her hand on my shoulder. ‘He’s worried that a woman on her own in that situation is going to be understandably lonely. You’re an attractive young guy who is helping her out. We just don’t want you getting hurt again so soon after … well, so soon.’
‘Look, Ma, I’m all grown up and I know I’ve made mistakes, but I’ve also learnt a few things along the way. It’ll be fine and it means I can put some money away. It must be hard living with concrete floors when you work from home. And then there’s her daughter, Maya.’
I stop short. I’ve already said more than enough. Way more than enough.
‘You’re not the sort of person to pass up the chance to help someone out, Luke. We’re not trying to interfere, my son. You’re your own man, always will be, but sometimes a little advice goes a long way.’
I stand and she hugs me fiercely, wishing more than anything that she could solve my problems.
‘I’d better get off. I need to pick up a few materials on the way. Thanks, Mum, I know Dad means well and I won’t go falling for the widow lady.’
I give her a cheesy grin and she laughs. ‘Well, I’m proud to have a son who has a heart and is prepared to help someone in need. As long as that’s the aim, then you’ll end up with a little nest egg and the widow lady will end up with a job well done.’
I look back at her over my shoulder, ‘Well, that’s the plan.’
***
When I arrive to start work there are no lights on downstairs in Bay Tree cottage, which is a little unusual. Normally I can see Elana moving around inside as I walk past the kitchen window. When it’s time for the school run, Eve appears with Amelie in tow.
‘Morning, Luke. Another bright day – we’re very lucky for this time of the year.’
‘No Maya today?’
I stop and lean on the scaffolding, smiling down at them.
‘No, she has a sore throat, poor little thing. Catch you later. Oh, thank your dad for confirming that date for the conservatory. We’re away for the first ten days in January, so I’ll give you a set of keys.’
‘Okay. Have a good day at school, Amelie.’
Amelie waves, then scurries off to the car. So Maya is poorly. I thought something was up. My mobile starts vibrating and I yank it out. It’s Anita.
‘Hi, is everything alright?’
‘We’re good. I wanted to ask a favour.’ She sounds distinctly upbeat and she’s never asked for anything before as a favour. Normally it’s a demand.
‘Fire away.’
‘I want to take Joe away for a break at New Year. It’s one of those holiday-camp things and if I go with a friend and her daughter, then we can share accommodation so it will be cheaper. It means you’ll miss seeing Joe for one Saturday. But I thought maybe we could just change the day, you know, without going back to court?’
‘Sure, you deserve a break and it’s a great idea. I’m happy to chip in on the cost. Just let me know what alternative day suits you and I’ll make sure I’m free.’
‘Thank you, Luke. I’m really looking forward to it. I’ll be in touch. Have a nice day.’
Have a nice day? Is this the same person who was screaming at me the last time she rang, saying I had no idea what pressure she was under?
Well, it seems a little bit of that nest egg will at least be giving them both a treat. It’s nice to be able to offer that without having to worry about where I’ll find the money.
The funny thing about hard work is that it keeps you fit, whether that’s just your mind, or mind and body, and it usually results in a financial reward. Lack of money can make life incredibly difficult, so when life is tough it makes sense to just keep working. Don’t focus on the results, focus on the job in hand and gradually you pull yourself out of that big, black hole of nothingness.
Anita left her parents’ house to move into the apartment I bought in our joint names and she didn’t have to worry about anything. With a baby on the way that was enough for her to deal with and prior to giving up work she spent most of her salary on clothes for herself and the baby. But she’s never really had to struggle or lie in bed at night in a cold sweat worrying about paying the bills. I think that’s why she’s finding it so hard now, even though, compared to many people, she still has it relatively easy. Maybe one day she’ll see that I wasn’t neglecting her, just doing what I thought was best for us as a family. And now I’m back to square one, still working hard and still trying to avoid falling into the abyss. When I told Elana it was a mutually beneficial arrangement, I really meant it.
Chapter 12
Luke
I’m Not Being Rude, But Hello and Goodbye
With Maya feeling poorly, Elana and I agreed that I wouldn’t start work inside until tomorrow. I’ve managed to free up most of the day so I can get the worst bit done in one hit. It suits me as all the guys are off on a night out this evening and I initially said I was going to pass. It’s not really my thing, but now there’s no excuse and I really ought to put in an appearance for an hour or two.
Looking at myself in the mirror, wearing a crisp shirt and my hair styled, I realise it’s been quite a while since I tidied myself up. I suppose that was a part of the attraction about working in IT. You don’t end up covered in grime each day and it means using your head and not your muscle. It’s probably rebellion, because I’d been helping Dad out on jobs since I was a young teen. It was his guidance that led me into roofing and I also completed a City and Guilds construction diploma at college. He wanted me to be an all-rounder and I wanted to be a good son. When it became clear it wasn’t for me, he didn’t say anything, but his silence was worse than a falling out. And now, just three years later, here I am – back where it all began.
The doorbell buzzes and it’s Greg, from work, as he’s giving me a lift. We’re the two youngest of Dad’s team and he’s a good friend.
‘Hey, mate, some lucky woman is in for a treat tonight, you clean up well.’
We do our customary man shake – butting knuckles and then the handclasp.
‘Mate, you smell like one of those women’s sections in a department store. You sure that’s a product for guys that you’re wearing and you didn’t pick up the wrong one?’ I tease.
He claps me hard on the back, ‘Nice one. You’re just jealous. Still, us single guys have to show the married ones how it’s done.’
‘Well, that might be true for you with your flash car and all, but I’m in for a few drinks and then a taxi back for an early night.’
Greg shakes his head, laughing all the while.
‘Okay, Uncle Greg is here to rescue you from yourself. Which do you prefer – a blonde or a brunette? I’ll keep my eye out.’
I grab my coat and as we walk out, Greg casts an eye around the tiny bedsit.
‘Better not bring anyone back here. Is this bedsit really all you can afford at the moment?’
I nod, pulling the door shut.
‘Yep. Supporting an ex and a child doesn’t come cheap. But, hey, company is the last thing I need at the moment, anyway.’
He winks. ‘We’ll see about that.’
***
The bar stools are uncomfortable, there are too many people packed into too small an area and the music is grating. I must be getting old. Old at twenty-
four isn’t exactly a confidence-builder. I look across at Greg, who is chatting up a woman with long, dark hair. She’s a looker and the eye contact between the two of them shows she’s clearly interested. I’m sitting in the middle of a group of older, married guys, who are all trying to act as if they do this every night. I suspect half of them are wishing they were ten years younger and the other half really want to go home and sit in front of the TV.
Suddenly, Greg pushes through the crowd, heading in my direction with a look on his face that makes me quake. Oh no, he hasn’t—
‘Your luck is in, she has a mate. Long auburn hair, single and works in administration. She’s going to love you. Office types always drool over builders.’
‘Greg, I’m not in the mood and this is a woman you are talking about, not a stereotype. I’ve had enough, mate. I’m finishing this and getting out of here.’
‘Really? You’re going to pass on the opportunity for some scintillating conversation to go home alone?’
I slap him on the back, good-naturedly.
‘That’s a big word, Greg, I’m impressed. Please pass on my apologies, but I’m off.’
I leave him standing and push my way through to the door, throwing a ‘Goodnight gentlemen’ over my shoulder. I doubt anyone can hear over the music, anyway.
Outside the air is cool and it’s a relief. There’s a taxi rank down at the end of the road and I head off in that direction when suddenly, someone calls my name.
‘Luke? Are you Luke?’
A young woman is walking towards me, increasing her pace as I turn to face her. Damn it, Greg, you told her my name.
‘Hey, I don’t mean to intrude but I’ve had enough, too. Your friend, Greg, said you were getting a taxi home and I wondered if you wouldn’t mind sharing. I don’t like travelling alone at this time of night.’
It’s only nine o’clock, so I’m not sure whether this is just a ploy. If I wasn’t such a gentleman I’d say no and be on my way. But up close she looks genuine enough.
‘Okay. Sorry, I don’t know your name.’
‘Lisa, hi,’ she offers her hand.
‘It wasn’t anything personal, but I only came out for a couple of drinks tonight.’
She blushes. ‘Oh, oh, that’s fine. I mean, it’s just that my friend was getting on well with Greg and I didn’t want to spoil it for them. She recently split up with her boyfriend of five years and it hit her hard. He, um, he is single, isn’t he? He said he was.’
She swings her arm as she walks, her hand holding a bright-pink handbag. I bet it’s a designer one, it looks expensive. Greg seems to gravitate towards women who are high-maintenance and that’s his downfall.
‘You don’t have to worry about Greg. He’s sound, just hasn’t found the one.’ That seems to reassure her as we walk up to the first taxi in the queue and I open the door.
It turns out she lives two streets away from my flat, so it’s no hardship, but she doesn’t stop talking the entire time.
‘Well, it was lovely to meet you, Luke. If you ever fancy a coffee or something, here’s my number.’
I take it because it seems rude not to and wave off the money she offers towards the fare.
‘Thanks and I’ll handle the fare. My pleasure.’
‘Nice to meet a real gentleman for a change, Luke. Hope to hear from you.’
As she slams the door shut I fold the paper in two and put it in my pocket, where it will sit until I pass a bin. No offence, but she just reminds me of Anita way too much. Been there, have the t-shirt and it no longer fits.
Chapter 13
Elana
Getting it Right is Far From Easy
Diary Log – day 493. 19 days to Christmas. What will Santa bring? Maybe a grand piano won’t fit in the sleigh. If only I had a magic wand!
‘Mum my head really, really aches.’
‘I know, honey. Another hour and you can have some more medicine. Are you comfy? Warm enough?’
Maya is snuggled up on the sofa under her favourite velvety-soft throw.
‘I’m warm. It would be nice to light the fire, though.’ She stares across at the empty fireplace.
‘Oh, darling, I’m sorry. It’s going to have to be logs and some fairy lights this year. I’ll pick them up this week, ready for when we put up the Christmas decorations.’
‘But, Mum, won’t that be in Santa’s way? Besides, it won’t be the same.’
To my horror, tears start plopping down onto her nightdress and she swipes at them impatiently. I sit alongside her, pulling her into me.
‘Hey, it’s one year, that’s all. Next year the chimney will be working and we’ll light it every night leading up to Christmas. I promise. And Santa will be fine, he’ll understand.’
She looks up at me, her raised temperature giving her face a pink hue.
‘You’re hot, darling, time to throw off the cover and cool down a little. What’s this about you wanting a piano?’
I figure changing the subject might help – if she gets upset her temperature will spike.
‘Melissa at school is having one. She’s having lessons and says it’s fun.’
Oh dear, this sounds very much like it’s going to be a whim.
‘Well, it is fun, but it’s also hard work and you have to practise every single day if you want to learn to play it properly. We could buy you a little keyboard so you can see if it’s something you’d enjoy doing. I think that’s better than asking for a bigger piano, to begin with. It takes up a lot of room so you have to be very sure it’s a present you are going to really love.’
Maya sinks back into the cushions, tiredness overcoming her.
‘Maybe. Melissa says it’s going to cost a lot of money, but her Daddy told her she can have it anyway.’
Do kids brag to each other? It sounds to me like some bragging has been going on here and I’m not too impressed.
‘Santa usually knows exactly what to bring, Maya. Perhaps we should leave it up to him. What do you think?’
Already her eyes are drooping. I adjust the cover, so only her legs and feet are covered and sit quietly until she drifts off to sleep.
The pressure of getting it right is starting to build. I can’t do anything about the fire, and I’m gutted about that because to Maya it’s clearly meaningful. Somehow I have to make this year magical, but I can’t replicate last year because we have moved on. I don’t think just us time, on its own, will do it now she’s a year older. But how do I make it all that little bit special? I’m hoping that if Luke can perform a miracle, then by Christmas Eve, between us, we can make the cottage feel more like home. Will that be the little bit of magic that Maya is looking for this year? The comfort of knowing that I’m committed to the dream her daddy and I began? If it doesn’t work, then this year could be a total disaster and I will have let her down.
Chapter 14
Elana
It’s a While Since I Looked in the Mirror
This morning Maya is, thankfully, much better. Her temperature is back to normal and she’s eating well. I’m keeping her home from school, but she should be well enough to go in tomorrow. It’s only one day, then she’ll have the weekend off anyway, so I think it’s the right decision. Friday week school breaks up and we’re going to do the tree the following day. Santa usually decorates the rest of the cottage after his visit, but we have a ritual which involves back-to-back Christmas music, hot chocolate and careful placement of a gazillion tree decorations. At least, it feels like that many.
Luke arrived early and warned us that when we return it’s going to look pretty grim because hacking off the loose plaster will expose bare brickwork. As instructed, I’ve covered everything up and put away anything breakable. At the moment he’s hanging large dust sheets to block off the stairs and the sitting room, so that the dust will be contained in the open-plan area. It’s been agreed that we will pop into next door’s for the day and that I’ll come back to help with the clearing up when he’s done. Everything has to b
e looking the best it can by Christmas Eve; the hopes of a six-year-old are riding on it.
‘Maya, pop on your fleece and your jogging bottoms. I’m just going to grab a few things from my wardrobe to show Eve.’
‘Are we dressing up?’ Maya looks hopeful.
‘Not really. Mummy needs Aunty Eve’s opinion as I have to work on New Year’s Eve. Remember? You’re going to stay with Grandma and Pop overnight.’
‘Ooh, yes. Grandma said I can have popcorn and we can watch my favourite film.’
‘Did she, now. Well, that’s a nice little treat to look forward to. Makes me wish I didn’t have to go out.’
Maya smiles at me, shaking her head from side to side.
‘It won’t be the same if you’re there, Mum. Grandma says it’s our little secret, so I’m not supposed to tell you.’
It’s funny how their minds work at that age. Innocence and lies are so poles apart that it doesn’t occur to Maya that she’s leaking Grandma’s little secrets. I find myself chuckling, thinking how lucky I am that my daughter has such a special relationship with my parents. Niall’s parents do contact us from time to time, but they find it hard, still. Whether that will ever change, I have no idea. I hope it does, but at this moment in time I just can’t see how. Grief is a process that is different for every single person going through it.
A trawl through my wardrobe doesn’t inspire me at all and I can only find three dresses that would be even remotely suitable for a posh ‘do’. All were expensive, but my style tends to be understated and even to my eyes they look a little drab.
‘Right, we’re off, Luke. When it’s time for cleaning up to commence just knock on Eve’s door. Good luck.’
He winks, ‘Enjoy the dressing-up party.’
I laugh, but it’s more of a groan as he has no idea how big a deal this event will be for me.
With my arms full, Eve ushers us inside. We settle Maya in front of the TV and she’s happy enough to lie back with a drink and biscuits to hand.
Christmas at Bay Tree Cottage Page 7
