‘I let Greg talk me into making up a foursome.’
She smiles, the sides of her mouth hitching up slightly. Her eyes reflect a sudden warmth, indicating that she understands.
‘You are drawing a line and stepping over it. Time to be brave, Luke. Maybe you need to begin following your own advice – what was it you said to me about it being time to have a little fun, for a change? You’re still very young and this is just a little stumble on life’s path. You need to start trusting your intuition and developing a little self-belief.’
‘Thanks. Helpful.’
As Elana follows me out to the front door we walk in silence and I realise that giving advice is easy; learning to take it and act upon it is the hard part.
‘With age comes wisdom,’ Elana adds, as I turn to say a final goodnight.
‘Perhaps. But I think some people are born with a lot more common sense than others. I just don’t want to be that sad person who keeps making the same mistake.’
Elana shakes her head.
‘Then stop looking back and start looking forward. That’s going to be my New Year’s resolution and I think it’s one that applies to most of us, don’t you?’
We exchange wry smiles and I walk out into the chilly night air, feeling alone and miserable. Life seems to be rubbing my nose in my misery by bringing me close to a woman as special as Elana. If it wasn’t for the job, our paths would never have crossed and I’m well aware of that. Outside of our respective situations we have little in common, but it’s just so easy to be around her. And it has been from the start. Perhaps that’s partly why she’s so relaxed when I’m around, because she knows there could never be anything serious between us. I’m just not in her league.
Chapter 24
Luke
Here I Go Again
The more I get to know Elana, the more I realise that she’s just the type of woman I need in my life. Someone who has a genuinely good heart and a lot of common sense. We’ve become friends almost without realising it. I guess that’s because we’re both vulnerable at the moment and it’s easy to connect on that level. I admire her strength whenever she’s around Maya, but ironically it’s her weaknesses that draw me to her. They make her more human and more approachable, somehow. Those moments at the end of the day when we’re grateful to sit down and unwind, feeling relaxed in each other’s company. It’s easier to talk frankly with someone who isn’t a part of your life because you don’t have to hide anything. Was I a little too honest last night, though? I asked for her advice and then wondered if a part of me had an ulterior motive. What was I hoping? That Elana would throw her arms around me, hold me close in the hope of rescuing me from myself?
It’s clear she thinks the age gap between us means we’re worlds apart, but when we share our feelings and worst fears we’re closer than I’ve ever been with anyone else. It’s like walking along the edge of a cliff with a sheer drop on one side and the safety of land on the other. Something is drawing me to her and away from the safety zone. I know that if I told her she’s the most exciting woman I’ve ever met, she’d never open her door to me again.
Or maybe I’m tired of living in limbo and trying to grab on to something, anything, which will make me feel like I count for something. Anita represents the life I know, one that might work still if she was prepared to meet me in the middle and make an effort. Elana is never going to be interested in me because I have nothing to offer a woman like her. But she made me look at my motives and in my heart I know that Anita doesn’t love me. The truth of the matter is that I don’t think she ever did. Did she purposely go out to trap me, by getting pregnant? If that’s the case, then it trapped us both, but I wouldn’t change that for a second because Joe’s arrival is the best thing that has ever happened to me. What Elana made me stop to consider last night was that I’m in danger of making a huge mistake for all the wrong reasons. She’s right and even if Anita is beginning to see me in a different light, I’m no longer the person she once knew. I want more out of life. I want to be with someone who makes me feel alive. Why is it that what I want always seems to be outside of my grasp? I guess I have to learn to make the most of the opportunities that come my way, instead of trying to reach for the unobtainable.
***
‘I’m hungry, how about you?’ Greg and I are ankle-deep in mud, sorting out a collapsed drain. It’s overcast and grey, with intermittent rain and one of those days when the job has no appeal whatsoever. We’re in all-weather gear, but still it’s miserable work as the rain seems to find a way through to the layers beneath. We head off to the van, throw our boots and waterproofs into a tarpaulin in the back, and go in search of a pub with an open fire and some good, home-cooked food.
When it arrives it doesn’t take long to clear our plates, then we sit back contentedly with stomachs full, appreciating one of life’s simple pleasures. It won’t take long to work this off when we get back, but it serves to raise our spirits.
‘How’s the job for the widow lady going?’
I roll my eyes. ‘I wish everyone would stop calling her that. She has a name.’ I realise that was a bit abrupt, but I’m finding that reference increasingly irritating. ‘It’s Mrs James to you.’
Greg laughs, but it comes out as more of a snort.
‘But you’re on first-name terms, I assume.’
‘Her name is Elana. We chat, but that’s it.’
‘I’m glad of that because Lisa’s really looking forward to our night out.’
‘And Cheryl is no doubt very grateful for your organisational skills.’
Greg downs half a pint of orange squash and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.
‘Among other things. Hey, she thinks I’m great, what can I say? She’s one smart lady. Did I tell you that I’m going to meet her parents this weekend?’
‘Well, that’s a first for you. Should I be thinking about reserving a date in the not-too-distant future?’
That makes him chuckle.
‘We’re a long way from that, mate. After seeing what you’ve been through I’m in no hurry whatsoever to start thinking about domesticity. And anyway, I believe in long engagements. If the woman you’re with is going to turn into a monster it’s best to find that out before you walk down the aisle.’
‘Is that what you really think? Or are you exaggerating?’
Greg leans forward, lowering his voice a little.
‘Mate, you wouldn’t listen, remember? It was doomed before it began.’
It’s too depressing to get into this and, besides, there’s no point.
‘Lesson learnt, so tell me about Lisa. What do you know about her?’
‘She’s twenty-one, works in a bank and split up with her childhood sweetheart about six months ago. There’s no bad blood between them because, according to Cheryl, it just sort of fizzled out. She’s been on a few dates but is still looking.’
‘That’s it?’
Greg gives me a stare.
‘She loves going to the gym and reading romance novels. Heck, what do I know about her? I’m just giving you what Cheryl told me to pass on if you asked the question.’
I thought as much.
‘Nice rack,’ he adds and I wince.
‘Can’t say I noticed and besides, it was dark when we walked to the taxi. What does she know about me?’
Greg casts his gaze around the room, before looking me in the eye.
I suddenly know what he’s thinking. ‘You haven’t told Cheryl about Joe, have you?’
‘Look mate, take a bit of advice from someone who is a little more clued-up about women in general. You don’t drop that on them at the start, it’s something to talk about after you get to know her a little.’
‘It doesn’t feel right, Greg. You need to fill Cheryl in so she can pass that on to Lisa.’
‘So you’re prepared to meet up with her, with an open mind, then? I thought you were doing this just as a favour to me?’
He smirks.
‘Let’s just say that splitting up with Anita hasn’t been easy. It’s only natural I’m being cautious, who wouldn’t be? It’s not a case of having an open mind, more a case of I’m not really ready to let anyone back in, yet.’
Greg sits back sharply in his seat, throwing his hands up in the air.
‘Well, at least you aren’t cutting yourself off from the outside world completely. You’re no fun these days, Luke, and it’s sad to see. The old you is still in there, somewhere, I know it. Just relax a bit and we’ll have a great night out. It’s just a date, mate, and what a way to start a new year, having a good-looking woman on your arm. Besides, you might surprise yourself and relax a little, for a change.’
Maybe I’m being rather uptight about this and it probably reflects how serious everything seems to be in my life at the moment. This Lisa lady might be in a similar position and being pressured by Cheryl to go out with me. Friends often mean well and sometimes, no matter how bad an idea is, it’s just easier to give in.
Chapter 25
Elana
What Lies Beneath the Surface
If I’m going to spend next Friday painting the walls, then I have to get as much work out of the way as I can. With school finishing in just three days, and the tree to sort on Saturday, it’s going to be a busy few days.
I’ve made quite a bit of progress on the manuscript, feeling I’ve done justice to introducing Aiden and painting an accurate picture of his childhood. The over-protective mother, the absent father and his formative years surrounded by a group of friends who stuck together through good and bad. The problem was that a lot of it was negative energy and there was a distinct lack of a positive influence at a very developmental time in his life. No wonder he hit his teens feeling life owed him something better. When he was plucked from a very mundane life, at such a young age, and virtually overnight became someone idolised by a growing band of adolescent girls, it was overload. Not only that, but he fell prey to an inner circle of employees whom, it seems, had no problem ignoring his excesses.
All it took was one audition for lead singer in a new group being formed by one of the most powerful producers in the industry. His edgy good looks and that sense of craziness hovering around him made him irresistibly dangerous to a generation of young girls. Then came the years when day after day he was in the tabloids and he became the hunted. There were so many photos that certainly wouldn’t have made his mother proud. Out of control, he had several trips to an exclusive rehab clinic, but he never stayed the course. After each visit, within days he was back to his old habits and he went through a long period of hiring and firing managers. A few simply chose to walk away, but then along came Seth. Something definitely changed after that, although from the interviews I’ve conducted no one else noticed any remarkable change in Aiden, or his habits. However, I wonder if there was a new level of awareness and a closed-door policy when dealing with publicity. Eventually the press found a new target. Did he just become old news, or could it really have been something engineered by Seth?
My admiration for the guy who, it seems, was able to turn things around when it was clear that Aiden was living on the edge, continues to grow. Suddenly, the doorbell breaks my concentration.
‘Hi Eve, come in.’
‘Sorry to pull you away from writing about a life of glitz and glamour. I just wanted to ask if you could do the school run this afternoon for me. I have to drop Rick at the station, he’s off to London for a few days.’
There’s a hint of exasperation in her voice and she seems a little tense.
‘Is everything alright? Sorry, come inside and I’ll put the kettle on.’
‘Well, I really didn’t mean to interrupt, but thanks.’
As soon as she turns to step into the open-plan area she stops. ‘Wow! You have half a floor!’
‘I know, it’s wonderful, isn’t it? He’s amazing; I mean … it’s amazing.’
‘No, I think you had that right first time. Luke is amazing. Hard-working, easy on the eye—’
‘Eve!’
She follows me down to the kitchen end of the room and hovers as I make coffee.
‘What? It’s the truth. And you have lovely smooth walls, although the colour is a bit random.’
I laugh, although it’s beginning to even out as the plaster patches dry and take on a much paler hue.
‘That’s my job this weekend. Luke is hoping to finish the flooring before Christmas, although that seems rather ambitious to me. He’s confident, though, and it would be amazing to be able to clean through and know the concrete dust will be gone for good. Then I’ll just about be out of money until I have a completed draft to hand over to the publishers.’
‘It’s quite a weight on your shoulders, isn’t it, managing your finances? Has any other work come in?’
We sit at the table, facing each other.
‘A little. I have the last in that series of three children’s books to edit, which I told you about a couple of weeks ago – the fantasy ones that Maya is enjoying. I’ve also been commissioned to write a few product reviews for some kitchen equipment. I’ll be testing out a juicer first and they are going to send over a number of recipes for me to try out. So enjoy your coffee, because the next time you come it might be carrot, ginger and apple juice I’m putting in front of you.’
Eve makes a face.
‘I much prefer breaking the seal on a box of juice I’ve grabbed off a shelf. This isn’t inspired by some faddy health kick or something?’
‘No. Just the need to take any work that comes my way. Luke’s inspection confirmed that all the window and door frames are rotten and beyond repair. So that’s a big chunk of money to find. Then there’s the extension the other side of the utility room, which needs to be turned into a guest bedroom and study at some point. And, of course, the outside needs re-rendering and then there’s the garden to tackle.’
‘Now would be a very convenient time to find a love interest who happened to be handy with his hands, wouldn’t it?’
I sit back, eyes wide with disbelief that Eve said that.
‘I’m paying for his time and it’s a reciprocal arrangement. He’s happy to work for cash to help out with his situation and I’m grateful to get the work done whenever he has a few hours free.’
‘And I rather suspect he’s good company over dinner,’ she muses.
I give up.
‘He’s easy to talk to, granted, and we usually end up sharing our problems. It’s a bit like attending a broken hearts club, actually.’
‘Maybe I should come along, then.’
At first I think she’s joking and I laugh, good-naturedly. Then I see that she’s serious.
‘Are you having problems? You and Rick?’
Eve finishes her coffee and places the mug down on the table, twisting it between her hands.
‘You’ve never heard us rowing? I assumed the sound of raised voices travels when the windows are open, because of the valley. You seem surprised.’
‘Shocked is probably more accurate. What have I missed?’
Eve sighs. ‘Rick is so focused on his work that even when he’s home it’s like his mind is constantly elsewhere. Did you know he wants us to move? He has his eye on a bigger house because he feels it’s a status symbol. He says he’s earning the money and it’s time to reap the rewards.’
A cold feeling settles in the pit of my stomach. Maya will lose her best friend and I’ll lose the support of two people who are like family to me. But that’s selfish. Rick obviously wants his family to have the best life he can provide for them, but clearly Eve doesn’t see it that way.
‘I will admit I am surprised, and the thought of you moving away is a bit overwhelming. I mean, all that work on the cottage and it’s beautiful now. Maybe it was only ever an investment to Rick and I suppose that’s partly down to the business he’s in.’
‘It’s all about money, to be honest, Eve. If only he’d been more like Niall—’
Her hand sh
oots across the table. ‘Sorry. I am sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, I was just thinking out loud. Ignore me, I ought to be grateful for what I have, we’re very lucky.’
Tears fill her eyes and I’m at a loss for words. I thought they were about as close as any couple could get and I don’t understand what’s going on.
She pulls a tissue from her pocket to mop her eyes and it’s painful to watch as she pulls herself together.
‘Ignore me. I’m just upset because he’s off to London yet again. Amelie’s going to be disappointed as we were going to put the Christmas trimmings up tonight. You know what a big deal it all is at this age.’
I nod. ‘Yes, we’re doing the tree on Saturday. It’s funny, but this year Santa seems to be a fixation for Maya. She’s been writing him letters and putting them up the chimney. There’s quite a little pile of them, even though we’ve already posted off the one to the North Pole.’
Eve gives me a watery smile.
‘Amelie’s was a long list and I’m still talking her out of a few things.’
We both laugh. ‘Same here. The request for a piano needs toning down a little as Santa is actually going to deliver a small keyboard.’
‘Oh, you were let off quite lightly, then. Amelie asked for a pony.’
I raise my eyebrows.
‘The worst part is that Rick says if we move to a house with a few acres of land he’ll buy her one.’
‘But you don’t want to leave Hillside, no matter how exciting a move could be?’
She shakes her head, shrugs off my question and stands, thanking me for the coffee and agreeing to do the school run.
I’m sure whatever is going on between them is just a rough patch and hopefully they’ll work through it. I can’t pretend that the thought of losing them as neighbours isn’t unsettling, but that’s something I might have to learn to deal with.
Chapter 26
Elana
The In-Laws
When I put the phone down I find myself anxiously chewing my lip, an old habit I slip into whenever I’m stressed.
Christmas at Bay Tree Cottage Page 12
