My initial glance didn't show Ava at all, so I took a better look around the room, then wished I hadn't. Fuck, Cotton had his damn cock in the mouth of April, one of the new additions. She didn't seem to have any problem performing in a room full of people. But I swear that fucking kid was gonna wear his dick out before he was thirty.
Finishing my second look of the room, it still didn't produce Ava. She had hopefully gone back to her room or mine. As I walked into the kitchen, I found my girl. She and Clair were cutting up a huge ass pan of brownies and the Brothers missing from the front room were around the kitchen island waiting for the girls to get finished with their task. Fuck, this part I could get used too. Sure, we had eaten okay, but we'd not ever had a lot of sweets brought into the club.
My mom and Beth's mom had usually cooked for us. But with them being on their damn walkabout of the States, we'd been shit out of luck on the food front. And, unfortunately for us, the majority of the married Brothers’ wives weren't big on cooking or baking for that matter. Two years ago, when Fawn and Mel had joined as club girls, the men had thought they had died and gone to heaven.
Hell, that made me realize that my parents, along with Gunny and Julie, had been gone for over two years touring the States. Yeah, they'd been back, on and off, but they had been gone more than not. I just hoped they were having the time of their lives. Damned if Hogan and Sammi hadn't been gone that long as well on their journey overseas exploring medieval architecture.
Ava looked up as I walked in, smiled at me and asked, “You hungry?”
“I'm fucking starving, I'm so hungry I could eat a horse,” I growled.
“Well, it's not a horse, but I have a plate fixed for you in the microwave.”
I smiled and headed to the microwave. I wasn't looking forward to a microwave meal, but I wouldn't dare say that out loud. I knew what would happen if I did that. I'd be eating crow for a long time.
I opened the microwave and stared dumbstruck. Fuck, there was a plate of spaghetti and meatballs in there, and if I wasn't mistaken the sauce looked homemade.
“Turn it back on for about forty-five seconds and heat it up,” Clair said as I stood there stupidly looking at the food in front of me.
Fuck that, I didn't care if it was cold. I wanted food now. I grabbed the plate, got a fork out of a cup sitting on the counter and dug in. I groaned. It was fucking fantastic.
“It'd be better if it was heated up,” Clair commented to me as she brought me a couple pieces of garlic bread.
“Not possible. This shit is insanely good. If it got better, I couldn't stand it.”
She smiled at me as she laid the bread on my plate. I looked up and caught Ava watching us. She had a neutral look on her face. Mother fuck, was she that fucking insecure and if so, why? Or did she really think she couldn't trust me? I didn't know which it was, but I was going to find out.
No way a relationship between us could work if she couldn't trust me to be loyal to her. Clair saw where my gaze was and looked over at Ava, then glanced back at me.
She smiled sweetly at me and said, “I'm glad you like it,” then moved away from me, making a point to Ava that there wasn't anything going on.
Ava looked down and started dishing out the brownies to the men who were lining up for them. I sighed. Fuck, now I wasn't hungry at all, but I knew I needed to eat. I shook my head and headed to a table in the dining room. As Tater walked toward the Great Room, a brownie in each hand, I called out to him, “Hey, Brother, have one of the Prospects bring me a beer, would you?”
He nodded at me since his mouth was too fucking full to answer. Shit, we needed that gym built fast or we were all gonna be overweight motherfuckers if Clair kept cooking this way. I could see the grocery bill going up too, because if we were getting food this good, there would be no reason to go out and eat. It would be worth it though, to be able to eat like this every night would be fucking sweet.
Axel brought me in a beer and muttered, “That shit is good. I ate three damn plates of it. When is Hoss gonna be through with the gym so we can get some equipment in there? ‘Cause eating like I did tonight is gonna make me gain weight.”
To anyone listening to Axel comments and questions, they’d think Hoss was just another Brother, when in actual fact he was Streak and Axel’s dad. They’d always called him Hoss, just like I’d always done with Sarge.
“I hear you, Axe. Was just thinking the same thing myself,” I said as I shoved another forkful of the pasta into my mouth.
As I was looking mindlessly into the Great Room eating my meal, a small plate with a couple of brownies slid across the table. I glanced to my left thinking it was Ava, but instead it was Clair.
“May I?” she asked.
I nodded at her.
“I take it you two are in a relationship?”
I swallowed my food and washed it down with beer.
“Well, I thought so. But what the fuck do I know? I've already had this discussion with her earlier today when she found out I was interviewing club girls.
“She thought I was fucking each one of you to test you out. Kinda nice to think someone thinks I have that much stamina, but it fucking pisses me off that she apparently didn't listen to a god damn word I said to her and doesn't seem to trust me.”
“How long have you been together?” she inquired.
I barked out a laugh, “Since last night. Fuck, I just really officially met her yesterday. She came back into our lives yesterday evening. Most of us here had only ever seen her for a brief time years ago.”
“Ah, one of those,” she murmured.
I looked at her curiously. “What's that mean?” I asked. I wasn't completely sure how to take her comment.
“You saw and you knew from that moment.”
Fuck, this woman was smart. Hopefully, she would be good for the whole MC.
“Yeah, pretty much. Thought she felt the same way too, not so sure now.”
“Can I give you a word of advice if I wouldn't be overstepping? If not, forget I asked.”
“Hell, at this moment, I'll take any advice that might help me.”
“Women are strange creatures,” she began, and I snorted, because that was a fucking understatement. “Sometimes when we have something too good to be true, we don't trust what our instincts are telling us. I believe deep down she trusts you, but if you just met and it's new, then I’m willing to bet she is having a hard time wrapping her head around the club girls.
“Especially since all of the girls are freaking beautiful. It doesn't matter how pretty a woman might think she is, in a new relationship she will always worry at first if she is enough for you. She will see all the flaws she thinks she has. Most women don't have to worry about seeing other women around their new man. But here, with all the available women for any man to have sex with, I bet it's messing with her head.
“And I bet you've probably fucked the girls that were here before we all joined today. That shit must be running through her head as well. And let me tell you, for a woman that's a hard pill to swallow. To know that you are going to have to look at other women and know they've been with your man.
“So as much as her attitude is probably pissing you off, remember what I've told you. It may take a little while for it to sink firmly into her head that you aren’t planning on being with any of the club girls again. Unless I'm mistaken on that, but I don't think I am.”
“How the fuck can I help convince her of my loyalty to her?”
“Fuck her every chance you get so she knows there's not a chance of you being with another woman from now on. Tell her what she means to you. When you're out here with the Brothers, pull her to you, hug her, take her into your lap, show all of the club girls she’s yours and make sure that the rest of the girls know you will not be looking to do anything with them again.”
“Fuck, no, I won't be with one of you.”
She glanced at me amused, and I realized how what I had said sounded. I sighed. Fuck, I was beginning t
o wonder if women were worth this much damn trouble.
“I didn't fucking mean it like that, and you damn well know it,” I growled at her, to which she just laughed at me as she got up from the table. “You make this?”
“Yeah.”
“It's fucking good and anytime you want to cook, pretty sure there will be no arguments on that. But, don't let the other girls throw all the cooking off on you, even if you do enjoy it. Make them help. That is part of their job here.”
“Got it,” she said as she walked away.
Yeah, she was gonna be fucking good for this club.
~*~
After dinner I decided to go take a shower, Ava was still in the kitchen talking to some of the Old Ladies who had come down to the Clubhouse. They were all eating fucking brownies. How shit about the food got out that damn fast, I didn't have a clue.
As I toweled off, I walked out into the bedroom to get some boxers. Even though I hadn't physically done a damn thing today, I was tired as hell and didn't plan on leaving my room again tonight. I'd hoped Ava would be in here by now, but no such luck. I pulled on my boxers and fell onto the bed. I was trying to decide if I should go find her or not when I heard a knock on the door.
“Come in,” I hollered out, hoping it was Ava. It fucking wasn't, instead it was Mel.
“Whatcha need, Mel?” I grumbled out to her.
She took one step into my room and said, “Reb's been trying to get a hold of you. He called Axel to come tell you, but Axel was busy. Since I was at the bar getting a drink and heard the conversation, I told him I'd run up and let you know.”
I reached over to where I had put my phone on my nightstand and picked it up. The screen was black. I tried turning it on, and nothing. The fucking thing was dead. I sighed and looked back at Mel.
“The damn thing is dead, thanks for coming to tell me. Have Axel call and tell him that unless it's urgent, I'll call him back in twenty minutes or so. Gonna give my phone enough time to get a charge on it. If it's urgent, have Axel come find me.”
“Sure thing, Prez,” she said as she stepped back into the hallway.
As she started to pull the door closed, I saw Ava walk into view. She looked at me lying on my bed in my boxers and at Mel leaving my room. She unlocked her door and slammed it behind her as she went in. As my door shut, I dropped my head back onto my pillow.
Mother. Fucker.
Could this fucking day be any more difficult? I'm sure it hadn't fucking helped any that Mel had on skimpy clothes. Just as I was about to get up and go to Ava, my bedroom door slammed open and crashed into the wall. Ava came into the room with steam coming out of her ears.
“Fuck this shit,” she snapped out. “There's no way I'll be in a relationship with you if you're gonna go back on your word just hours after making promises. I don't think I can fucking stay here after all,” she took a deep breath and let it out. “Don't worry about helping me, I'll figure something else out,” she said as she turned to leave.
I jumped to my feet and fucking roared at her, “Don't you fucking dare walk out of this god damn room. You and I are going to have a talk, with me talking and you fucking listening. You got me? If not, I don't give a fuck, because your ass is gonna listen to me one way or another. I don't care if I have to come over there and physically sit on you, you WILL hear me out. Understand me?”
She sullenly glanced at me and snapped out, “Fine.”
“Shut the fucking door. This isn't anyone else's damn business but ours,” I snapped back at her. I pointed at the bed and said, “Sit the fuck down, now.”
She huffed out a breath and shut the door hard. Then she glared at me as she went to the bed and plopped down on a corner of it.
I ran my hands back and forth across my head as I paced around the room trying to get a hold of my temper. I didn't want to fuck this up, but with the way I was feeling I knew if I wasn't careful with my words, I could totally screw it up. I sighed deeply and stopped pacing. I fucking hated having to explain myself to anyone but felt like I needed to explain the situation she thought she had observed.
I turned to her and said, “Whatever you're thinking you just saw here, you didn't. Mel was down at the bar when one of the Prospects called Axel and told him he had been trying to get a hold of me. Mel was at the bar apparently getting a drink and overheard the conversation. Axel was busy so she volunteered to run up and tell me.” I glanced at my phone and realized I still hadn't plugged it in.
“Fuck!” I exclaimed as I walked over to the damn thing and plugged it in. “After she told me that, I looked at my phone to see it wasn't charged and then told her to go give Axel a message, what you saw was about three minutes of conversation with her only being one step into my room.”
I dragged in a deep breath, walked over to her, knelt at her feet, “Ava, if you really and truly want us to work out, you have got to learn you can trust me. If not, then, yeah, this will never work. I'm not gonna lie to you and say that I haven't been with four of those women downstairs. I have. But I haven't been with any of them in three months and that is the god damn truth.”
Her eyes were locked onto mine, listening to every word I said. I hoped like hell I was saying the right things.
“What I told you earlier was true. I won't be with another woman while we are in a relationship, and if this goes how I would like it to go, that means you would be the last woman I'll ever be with.”
I drew in a deep breath, “But, Ava, you will have to come to terms with the fact that I have been with those women and with the fact that you will probably see them every day.
“Also, you’ll have to realize that I will be talking to all of them. I'm not going to actively hunt them down to just shoot the shit, but there will be times I have to talk to each and every one of them. Ava, I can't kick them out. This is their home. I wouldn't do that to them. That would make me a fucking monster.”
She hadn't moved at all, she was listening to everything I was saying.
“I'm their President. I run this MC. I'm the one who makes the decisions for them, I hold the purse strings, Ava. If they want something extra, they have to come talk to me. So, yeah, you're gonna see them in my presence and I can't help that. But you won't hear of me being in their presence in any way other than to talk to them basically as their employer.”
I sighed, “Hell, Ava, if I truly wanted to be with those women, I didn't have to say anything to you last night after we fucked. I could have just left it there. I knew we were going to have new girls coming in, but after being with you, damn, even before then, I knew you were it for me. Yes, I fucking know it’s fast, but sometimes, baby, that's just life and when you find someone you want to be with more than anyone else on earth, then you have to fucking grab on and hold on tight. And I fucking want to be with you.”
~*~
Ava
As I sat and listened to everything he was telling me, I realized he was right. He didn't have to say any of that to me last night. I sure hadn't said anything to him to indicate that I might be wanting more. It was fucking crazy, but from the moment I first glanced at him when I entered his office, something in me had said I was home. That had fucking terrified me. No one since Brian had even attracted my attention like Dog did.
And last night, oh my god, I had never come like that before. The feelings he had wrung out of me scared the hell out of me. Then to hear him say he was feeling what I was feeling, yeah, I felt like running for my life. Yet at the same time, I knew he was my life. I didn't understand how I knew that, especially after only a few hours of seeing and talking to him. But when I realize that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, that had freaked me the fuck out.
I truly hadn't come here looking for anything other than justice, yes I had thought of him for years as my biker hero, but only in the sense that he had saved me and hopefully one day, he would be able to help me with my vengeance. And yet, once I found him, I found my life.
Then this morning, finding out from
Val and Molly that he was interviewing new club girls made all the things I had heard, watched and read about MC's jumble together in my head, and all I could picture was him fucking some nameless, faceless woman.
As those thoughts had run like wildfire throughout my mind, it hit me straight in the heart that he had fucked the women standing in front of me as well, and oh my god, jealousy had struck me like the green-eyed bitch that she was.
I had mentally been talking to myself, trying to tell myself that I had been with other men, but the bitch just kept saying, ‘Yeah, but you don't live with them all the time nor do you see them daily. Who was the last one he’s fucked? Was it Val? Or was it Molly? Or was it one of the other girls you haven't met yet? When was the last time he was with one? Had he been with one or more the night before I arrived?’
That cruel bitch had taken hold of my thoughts and she fucking hadn't wanted to let go. I hadn't ever been jealous of Brian and I couldn't figure out why I was so jealous of Dog. Was I that much of an insecure woman?
I hadn't thought so until this morning when this all hit me when I heard about the interviews, then those thoughts started scrambling and fought to take hold in my mind and that had made me completely lose any fucking sense I had at all.
But I knew I had to do what he said. I had to somehow come to peace with the fact that he had been with those women and that I was going to see them all the time. Because he was right, this was their home and had been for a while. I didn't have the right to tell him to send them all away. This was his life and I either had to accept it or I needed to realize I couldn't deal with it and let him go.
The pain that squeezed my heart at the thought of leaving and never seeing him again took my breath away. My eyes ran over his face, examining each feature, I knew if I left I'd regret it for the rest of my life. Somehow after only hours, I was in love with him, and that fucking scared me more than anything else did. Because if I stayed and then lost him for some reason, I wouldn't be able to handle it, and I knew that to the depths of my soul.
Mad Dog (Angel’s Rebellion MC: #2) (Angel's Rebellion MC) Page 18
