by Linda Sole
He’d still been angry with an unjust God when he saw the man who had ruined his mother and he made up his mind to ruin him. The man was a greedy fool and it had been easy, much easier than he’d expected.
After he discovered what happened to the man, he’d felt some regret but by that time the die was cast. Having joined the army with some friends, been recruited as a spy and then cast off as a traitor by his friends, he had found the creeping coldness that came over him impossible to throw off.
His careless manner had every woman in society running after him. He was propositioned by so many married ladies, bored wives dissatisfied with their husbands whispered in his ear and sent him lascivious glances. He would have had to be a saint to ignore or refuse them all – and he was far from being above temptation. He gave them what they wanted but he remained untouched and because it pricked their pride they whispered of his cruelty. Coupled with his success at the card tables his reputation grew darker and the men who had been his friends believed all they heard.
He wasn’t sure when he had become the man everyone thought him, but over time he’d become harder. In his dealings with spies, rogues and assassin’s he’d learned to think the worst of everyone he met – and to feel nothing. Women were charming and he adored them for the short time that they amused him, but none ever touched his heart. Until…he met a woman in a black velvet gown who was not all that she seemed.
Had Constance been the adventuress he’d thought her, they would have dealt well together for a time, but in the end they would have parted to go their separate ways. The realisation that she was something very different had come to him slowly, drawing him in little by little without his realising that the barrier he’d kept in place was slowly disintergrating.
It had fallen away now, every last scrap. His heart was open to her and vulnerable. He wanted to tell her how he felt. He wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her until she melted into him and lost herself in sweet abandon – but all he could do was to lie here and prick at her because of his frustration.
A wry smile touched his lips. He was not as evil as he’d once thought of himself, but he was no white knight. Could Constance love him for himself?
He hoped so because he did not know what he would do if he lost her now.
‘Are you awake?’ Constance opened the door and peeped round it, her gaze flying to the man lying propped up against the pillows. His eyes had been closed but he opened them and looked at her. ‘Are you feeling better?’
‘No, I feel awful.’
‘What is wrong?’ She hastened across the room, touching her hand to his forehead, fearing that it would be hot and damp but he felt cool. ‘Are you in pain?’
‘No. I’m feeling lonely. You deserted me more than two hours ago. Sit here on the bed and talk to me, Constance. I’m bored with lying here.’
‘You are a terrible patient,’ Constance said and smiled as she looked down at him. ‘You’ve only been confined to bed a few hours. You need to rest, Moraven. I left you so that you could sleep.’
‘I don’t need sleep. I need you – here in my bed, in my arms.’
‘Moraven!’ She looked at him in shock. ‘You are not well enough to…well, you know what I mean.’
‘If you mean make love to you I am well aware of it,’ he said ruefully. ‘But I want you here beside me, Constance. I want to hold you and touch you, feel you lying next to me.’
‘Do you, my dearest?’ She bent down to touch her lips to his and he caught the back of her head with one hand, holding it there as he kissed her, exploring her lips and her mouth with his tongue as she opened to him. She touched one hand to his cheek, stroking the slight roughness where his beard was beginning to grow through. ‘Are you sure this is wise?’ she asked when she drew back at last.
‘Most probably not. I’m as weak as a damned kitten,’ he said. ‘But that doesn’t stop me thinking, Connie my love.’
‘Connie?’ She arched an eyebrow at him.
‘Don’t you like it? I think it suits you.’
‘My father called me Connie sometimes, usually when he was in a good humour.’
‘I shan’t use it if you’d rather I didn’t.’
‘I don’t mind. It will take some getting used to though – but what should I call you? Moraven is formal but I don’t know your Christian name.’
‘I have many. Laurence is one my family often used – or Laurie.’
‘Laurie?’ Constance shook her head. ‘I don’t see you as a shy youth and that is where the name belongs I think. Laurence is nice, though. I think I might use that – if you permit?’
‘You may call me by any name that suits you, my dearest Constance. I will answer to most, though some are sweeter than others. I’ve been called a bastard many times, not true literally, of course – but rogue, coward, traitor…they’ve all been levelled at me in my time.’
‘By fools one presumes,’ Constance said and laughed. ‘You cannot fool me, you know. I understand that in the course of your work you may have done things that you feel were wrong or harsh, but that is not you, my love. Taunt me as much as you like, I shall not turn from you, Laurence. Besides, I do not look for a knight in shining armour. I want a man I can be comfortable as well as rely on and admire – and you have proved your worth to me many times.’
‘Then you will marry me – and take me as I am no matter the past or what people may say of me?’
‘I shall not listen to slander against you. I know you for what you truly are. You did so much for those children and the nuns – and you saved my life. How could I not feel admiration for such a man?’
‘Supposing I told you that I wanted much more?’
Constance sat back, her gaze narrowing. ‘I am not sure what you mean. You told me that you wanted me but you said…you said I was not to expect love for it was not in your nature.’
‘I’ve said many foolish things in my time,’ Moraven said and gave her a wry look. ‘The man I had become for various reasons denied love. He shut out all feelings of a softer nature, because he was afraid of being hurt again – but I am no longer that man, Constance. You have broken through the barriers I built to protect myself. You and you alone have shown me what it is to love truly.’
‘Is that your honest feeling?’ Constance bent towards him. She placed one hand each side of his face, looking deep into his eyes. ‘I love you so much, my dearest one – but I tried to hide it for I did not wish you to feel trapped. I love you and want you with me all my life, but I shall not be a clinging vine. You will still have your freedom should you wish for it.’
‘I do not wish to be free of you,’ he said and took her hand, pressing the palm to his lips. ‘I have found a way to love again, Constance. For years I merely breathed and existed, living only for my duty and my anger against those who had been my friends. That has all gone now. I had begun to forgive before we met but the barrier was still in place until you brought it crashing down. When I thought I might have lost you I knew I could not bear to face life without you – but I had treated you so ill. I wasn’t sure we could be happy together. There was so much in the past…’
‘None of which matters to me,’ she said and touched a finger to his lips. ‘Hush my dearest. We love each other and that is all that is important. You must rest now and get better so that we can be married as soon as it is possible to buy the licence.’
‘Do you not want a big wedding with your friends in France?’
‘No. All I want is to be your wife. A quiet wedding will please me, Laurence. Afterwards, we may travel at our leisure and see my friends – and your family.’
‘We must give a ball in London once we are married, but I shall invite my men – those who have stuck with me through thick and thin. They shall bring their loved ones and we’ll marry quietly at my country estate, with just the people who serve us and care for us – and perhaps my nearest neighbours. Will that content you?’
‘Yes, if it pleases you,’ she replied. ‘I have
no one I wish at my wedding for there is no one who truly cares for me save you.’
‘I am certain there are others, but perhaps you do not know it,’ Moraven said and smiled. ‘Now, I could eat some supper but I will have it here – providing you sit and eat yours with me.’
Constance smiled, rose to her feet, saying, ‘I shall arrange for it to be brought to us here, my love – and then, when we have supped, you must promise me you will rest and sleep.’
‘Only if you lie beside me.’
‘Then I shall,’ she said and walked to the door. Looking back, she said, ‘I shan’t disappear with the morning light, Laurence. I fear you must be prepared to put up with me for much longer.’
‘A lifetime will not be enough.’
Constance laughed softly and went out. She could still hardly believe that her dreams were to come true despite all that had passed between them. To be loved as she was loved was all that she could ever ask of life.
When Constance woke the next morning it was to find Moraven bending over her. She was startled for a moment but then her body suffused in warmth as she recalled that they had spent the night together. She had taken off her gown and lain down beside him in her petticoats, snuggling into his side as he bid her, his uninjured arm about her.
They had talked for a long time, exchanging stories of their childhood and sweet kisses that stirred her blood. She had felt the impatience in him, the longing and need to make love to her as he had in Paris, but he’d been in pain despite his denials and, after he was persuaded to take a little of the doctor’s medicine slipped into a peaceful sleep.
Constance had lain awake for a while longer, listening to the sound of his breathing, inhaling the warm scent of his body and luxuriating in the feel of him by her side. She’d slept at last because he seemed cool and free of fever, and now as she looked up at him she saw that he was feeling better for the night of rest.
‘You are rested?’
‘I feel as good as new,’ he replied. ‘Or almost. I have been watching you sleep and wanting to wake you so that I could make love to you.’
‘Has the pain and the tiredness gone?’
‘My arm is sore but it no longer bothers me.’ He bent to kiss her lips slowly, sweetly with a hint of the burning passion beneath. ‘Do you want to wait for our wedding night, Constance?’
‘No…’ she breathed. ‘I want it to be the way it was between us in Paris…when you found me exciting, a woman of mystery and intrigue.’
‘When I look into your eyes I shall always see that woman,’ he murmured huskily, ‘but I also see the woman I know you to be – warm and honest and true.’
‘I hope you will not be disappointed as you come to know me better. The woman in black was not truly me, Laurence.’
‘She intrigued me and I wanted her as my mistress. I want you as my wife, my darling. I want to wake up like this every morning and find you lying here with me.’
‘It is all I could ever desire.’
Constance reached up with one white arm, her hand behind his head as she tipped it and then half rose to meet his kiss. He took her in his arms, kissing her brow, her nose, her lips, her throat, making her arch towards him and mew like a kitten as the desire stirred within her life molten honey. She wound her limbs about him and all the while his hands caressed while his lips took and gave such exquisite pleasure, his tongue delicately stroking her mouth in a way that made her tingle.
‘Oh, Laurence my love,’ she murmured. ‘I love you so much…so very much.’
‘I adore you, my angel. I think I shall never have enough of you.’
She was light and trembling in his arms, dissolving in the heat and pulsing pleasure his touch aroused. Her stomach clenched with need as his hand sought out her inner citadel and she cried out and clung to him, her nails scoring his shoulder.
‘Little hell cat,’ he murmured throatily. ‘I think my lady in black is not so very far from the surface, Connie my love – and I adore her. I adore both of you, Connie and Constance for together you are the woman I have searched for all my life.’
Constance laughed for as they loved she felt all her reservations and doubts melt away and became the abandoned lover he had enjoyed in Paris. His passionate and tender loving drew her on and on towards a far shore that seemed bathed in sunshine. Afterwards, when the shore was reached and they lay entwined in perfect bliss, it seemed that they were cocooned within a private haven where none could reach, content and satiated, in perfect harmony.
‘We should get up,’ he said after they had lain in silence for some minutes. ‘I should like to reach my estate by this evening if possible. It’s time we set the wedding banns, my love.
‘Are you certain you feel well enough to continue?’
‘Are you in doubt of the state of my health?’ He gave her an amused look and she shook her head, a smile on her lips. ‘As I told you yesterday, it was but a flesh wound. I think I lost too much blood but I am well again. Up with you, wench, and away to your own chamber while I shave. We shall breakfast in the parlour downstairs in half an hour.’
*
Constance was ready in the appointed time but when she went down to the parlour she discovered that Moraven was already there. He had ordered their breakfast, which was just being carried in. She was in time to hear him give orders to Jim and his groom and smiled at them as they left to carry out his commands.
‘I’ve sent word that we’ll be home by this evening,’ he told her as they sat down to a large and satisfying breakfast of coddled eggs, crisp fried bacon, kidneys, rolls and honey and various relishes, which Moraven ate with enjoyment. ‘What – only rolls and honey, my love? I think I shall have to teach you to eat properly in the mornings. We need to keep your strength up.’
Her cheeks were pink as she saw the teasing light in his eyes. ‘It is far too early for me to eat meat, Laurence. However, I will try a little of the coddled egg if it pleases you.’
‘Only if it pleases you,’ he said. ‘I but meant to tease you, Constance. I want you to be happy – and to do exactly as you wish.’
‘Are you certain?’
She cocked her head to one side, giving him a challenging look. ‘Supposing I spend too much of your money at the seamstress?’
‘Going to ruin me with your extravagance, Connie?’
‘Connie might.’ Her eyes were bright with laughter. ‘Of course Constance wouldn’t dream of it.’
‘My wicked lady in black,’ he murmured. ‘It is a dangerous masquerade you play. Yet I think I shall risk it. You may have carte blanche, my love. Buy all you wish for.’
She laughed and shook her head. ‘I think you know Constance would not allow her to go too far – do you not?’
‘As long as Constance does not suppress her too far I do not mind for if you do not buy sufficient clothes I shall insist on buying them for you.’
‘Are we to entertain a great deal, my lord?’
His eyebrows arched and he glanced over his shoulder. ‘Where is my lord? I do not know him. Laurence says that it shall be as you wish, Connie.’
‘Then we shall entertain often in town and sufficient to satisfy our friends and neighbours in the country.’
‘My neighbours will require that to be often at the start, my love. They will be curious about the woman who has finally tamed me.’
‘Tamed you?’ She smiled, tipping her head to one side. ‘I do not think the woman lives who could do that – and neither Connie or Constance would wish for it, Laurence.’
‘Oh, but I am a changed man and others will know it,’ he murmured. ‘Will you have coffee or tea, my love? I ordered both.’
‘Coffee I think. Since we are to invite your neighbours to our wedding perhaps we should give a little dance for them first – so that they know me.’
‘I fear your quiet wedding is getting bigger by the moment, Constance.’
‘Yes, I feared it might,’ she said and laughed. ‘I suppose we must expect that your friends w
ill wish to celebrate with you.’
‘Yours too, my love.’
‘I have no friend and no family that I know of.’
‘No?’ Moraven smiled mysteriously. ‘Well, if that is true I shall have to supply your lack, shall I not?’
‘I do not understand you.’
‘You will,’ he murmured. ‘You will, my love. It may take some time but you will know me soon enough…’
Chapter Sixteen
‘I like your home very well,’ Constance said that evening. ‘I shall wish to explore more of it in the morning but from what I have seen it seems a pleasant family home.’
‘This was my father’s house. I have others, which are perhaps grander, but I prefer to live here, though we shall be obliged to visit the others occasionally so that we do not offend the staff and tenants. I fear there is always a duty connected with property, my love. I could of course sell it all if you prefer a quiet life.’
‘Are you serious?’
‘Yes, for once. Much of what I own has come to me through bequests from uncles and grandmothers, aunts and great-aunts. There is another property that may come to me and a title I do not wish for but cannot avoid should it fall to me – though I hope the present heir will live and have children of his own one day.’
‘But would you truly sell if I did not wish for such a busy life?’
‘I would do anything to please you, Constance.’
‘I thank you for the offer, but in this I believe you must do as you wish, Laurence. A man must order his property as he sees fit, though I should be happy to advise on anything I could, of course. However, as you said, there is always a duty to your people and your tenants.’
‘Which I have never neglected. I do not think you will hear ill of me from my tenants or my staff.’
‘I should hope not indeed,’ she sparkled back at him. ‘I have never had the running of a big estate, but I believe it matters not if you have one servant or a hundred. All must be treated with respect and fairness.’
‘Ah, I see we have Constance with us,’ he murmured. ‘After supper I am contemplating an early night…’
