by Anna Martin
“Yeah.”
“It’s not, I dunno, anchovy and custard flavor, or whatever you’d probably pick for yourself.”
“No. Almond?” he guessed.
“Almond praline. Yeah. Okay, what about this one.”
He opened his mouth willingly this time, surprised at the bite of rich dark chocolate and….
“Salted caramel?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s really good.”
“Okay, last one.”
Coconut. That was easy. But not gritty coconut; smooth and mellow, it tasted more natural than most coconut ice cream Drew had had in the past.
“I’m sure the Dreamy Creamery already has a coconut ice cream,” Drew said, opening his eyes. “But that’s better.”
“They’re lactose-free,” Cooper said, grinning a little self-consciously. “I’ve been trying out a few recipes when I work the morning shift.”
“You made these?”
“I make all the ice creams,” Cooper said, shrugging. “It’s my job.”
“But you, like, invented these.”
Cooper nodded. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do with them yet. Our boss isn’t around much. He’s got a few businesses, so Alana and I basically run the place on our own. Every now and then he asks who we’re hiring, that sort of thing, and if we want to promote anyone else to management he has to sign off on it. Our profits are good, he deals with all the advertising, and we do most of the day-to-day stuff ourselves. That’s why he likes me and Alana. We’re self-sufficient.”
“What about the flavors you designed for the store? Do you own those recipes or does he?”
Cooper shrugged. “I don’t know. I never bothered to ask.”
“Cooper…” Drew sighed imploringly.
“I keep all the recipes on my iPad. That way it’s easy to change them. If I left, I wouldn’t give the store my iPad… so I guess I own them by proxy.”
“You could put your new flavors in your ice cream truck.”
“The truck I don’t have, you mean?” Cooper said, raising his eyebrows.
“You should get a truck and then put your ice cream in it.”
“Drew,” Cooper said, exasperated.
“No, really,” Drew insisted. “You’re worth more than what you do now. You’re smart, Cooper, and you pretty much run the store on your own already. You said so yourself. There’s no reason why you can’t reach out and do more for yourself.”
“But I like what I do now,” Cooper said. “Honestly. I told you about the truck because… I dunno, because you asked. It’s not something I’m desperate for. Just a, you know, maybe one day thing.”
“If you had your own business, though—”
“If I had my own business, I’d have all the stress that goes with it,” Cooper said, standing up and taking the bowl of ice cream back to the kitchen. “I’d have to figure out the taxes and the licenses and all that shit, and I don’t want that yet. I’m only twenty-four, Drew. I’m not ready for it.”
“But you could—”
“Drew!” Cooper yelled, throwing his hands up. “You’re not listening to me. I know you do the ‘everyone deserves a dream come true’ thing all day every day, but you need to understand I’ll do it when I’m ready, and I’m not ready yet. You’re living your dream, and I respect that, I really do, but I don’t need you pushing me.”
Drew stood and pulled on his jeans. “I only want good things for you, Cooper,” he said softly.
“No, you want me to be better, so you don’t have to tell people that your boyfriend only works in a bar and an ice cream parlor.”
“That’s not true at all.” Drew felt his stomach clench. “Where the hell did you get that idea?”
“You’re going to be a famous actor, and I’m not going to be good enough for you.”
“Cooper, no. No. I just see so much in you, and you’re not making the most of it.”
“I know, I get that, I do. But you’re not respecting me or my choices.”
He pushed his fingers through his hair, looking around for his T-shirt. Shoes were by the door.
“I need to get stuff done before I go back to work tomorrow,” Drew said.
“Are you seriously walking out?”
“I’m ending this conversation, since it doesn’t seem to be going very well,” Drew snapped. He shoved his bare feet into his sneakers, not caring about his missing socks.
“Why can’t we talk it out?”
“Because I don’t like confrontation! I’ll talk to you later, Cooper.”
His heart was pounding as he pushed out of the door and jogged down the metal steps on the outside of the building. He’d only brought what he could stuff in his pockets with him, so it was easy to jump in the car and put his foot down to get as far away from Cooper’s apartment as he could.
Half a mile later, he pulled into a Starbucks and had a full-blown panic attack, putting his forehead on the wheel of the car as he forcefully took long, slow breaths. Arguing with Cooper, especially over something so stupid was just… well, stupid.
What he hadn’t told Cooper was that Cooper was his first real boyfriend, since the casual encounters he’d had before had never developed into real relationships, and Drew wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing. All the sweetness and the romance, he could do that; he surrounded himself with it all the time. The hard stuff, though? He didn’t have a clue.
When his heart settled down again, Drew treated himself to an iced caramel latte and took the long route home, not wanting to confess to Trevor that he’d fucked up. Because Trevor would know—he had an inbuilt bullshit detector and always seemed to be able to turn it on Drew.
The house was quiet when he let got home, and Drew resigned himself to a long afternoon in bed, alone, with Netflix.
Chapter Seven
“Is it over?” Alana asked, and Cooper tipped his head back and groaned.
They’d had their lunch together for the first time in Cooper couldn’t remember how long, taking the opportunity to go to the Panera Bread across the street and leaving one of the college kids who ran a window in charge. There were picnic benches outside, and Alana was sitting backward, elbows resting on the table behind her with her face tipped up to the sun.
“I don’t know,” Cooper admitted. “He walked out, and we haven’t spoken since.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah. I don’t want to call him first, because he’s the asshole who was wrong, not me.”
“Are you sure?”
Cooper glared at her. Alana put her hands up in defense of the glare.
“I’m just sayin’,” she drawled. “He might have a point. Are you still here because you love it, or are you scared?”
“Scared of what?”
“Failure,” she said succinctly. “Look, Cooper, I know you’ve been rocking that laid-back, nowhere to go, nothing to do vibe for a few years now. But Drew might be right. You have a lot of potential, and it would be a shame for you to waste it just because you’re afraid of what might happen.”
Cooper couldn’t come up with a coherent response to that so mumbled something about people ganging up on him and shredded the remains of his bread bowl.
“I told him he thought I wasn’t good enough for him.”
Alana didn’t move, didn’t acknowledge Cooper’s statement at all.
“You know,” Cooper continued. “Because he’s so talented and an actor and he’s going to be famous, and I’m just the guy who scoops ice cream for a living.”
“Do you really believe that?”
Cooper said nothing.
Alana sighed.
“Cooper, you are not a stupid person. But you are a man.”
“Is that an insult?”
“The only person who is holding you back right now is you. I know you’re better than this job. Drew knows you’re better than this job. And if you’re honest with yourself, you do too.”
“I’m not ready—”
“And t
hat’s fine,” Alana interrupted. “You go take your sweet time figuring every last little thing out. But the world’s going to keep turning in the meantime, and you don’t want to be left rushing to catch up once you’ve made a decision on what to do with your life. Sometimes you have to put your insecurities aside and take a risk.”
Cooper scrunched his nose up. “Shit.”
“Do you miss him?” Alana demanded.
“Yeah.”
“Then you need to suck it up. If you love him, you should call him.”
“Okay,” Cooper agreed sullenly. He knew he was moping and couldn’t bring himself to care. It had been three days since Drew walked out of Cooper’s apartment. Of all the things Cooper had expected, for Drew to be a stubborn ass wasn’t on that list.
Cooper’s phone buzzed with a message, and he almost dropped it in shock.
“Shit!”
“What?”
“Nothing, I just jumped,” Cooper said, annoyed with himself. He thumbed his code and unlocked the screen, heart thumping when he saw the message.
“Read it to me,” Alana said, not looking over.
“Got an acting job in Atlanta. Will be gone for three weeks. Drew.”
“Is that it?”
“Yeah. Do I respond?”
Alana hummed. “Can he see that you’ve read it?”
“Yeah.”
She hummed again. “Text him good luck, or something like that.”
Cooper dropped his head to the picnic table and groaned. “A week ago I thought he was the one, Alana. The one. Now it’s all….” He thumped his head a few more times for good measure. “I don’t know. So fucked-up.”
“You love him.”
“I thought I did.”
“Then you’ll figure it out. Come on, we need to get back.”
Three weeks was a long time to wallow.
Cooper was no fool—he knew he was wallowing and decided to own it. Things didn’t really change. He got up every morning, went to work at the Dreamy Creamery, pulled a double shift at the dive bar three nights a week. It wasn’t anything to brag about.
Now there was something missing, though. He wouldn’t admit it, especially not to Alana, but the lack of “Good morning” and “Good night” texts was killing him. He wanted Drew spooned up tight behind him in bed. He wanted mind-blowingly good sex. He wanted his boyfriend back.
When the three weeks were over, Cooper waited anxiously for another text from Drew telling him he was back home. But nothing happened. The same radio silence he’d endured for the past few weeks continued, and Cooper faced up to the fact that it was likely over.
Then he wallowed some more.
“You,” Alana said, poking Cooper in the ribs as they closed down for the evening. “Are killing my vibe.”
“You have a vibe?”
“Yes. And you’re bringing it down.” She bumped her shoulder against his gently. “Come on. Why don’t you call him?”
Cooper stretched his neck from side to side, then sighed. “I don’t want to be that guy.”
“What guy?”
“The creepy stalker ex.”
She snorted. “But you said you miss him. So you should do something about it.”
Cooper pulled his apron off and hung it up on the back of the stockroom door. There was a mirror on the wall, put there so staff had the chance to straighten up before they went out to serve customers. It meant Cooper couldn’t avoid the deep, bruising bags under his eyes, the pallor of his skin, the way he’d clearly not been taking care of himself.
“Jesus,” he muttered under his breath. “Pull yourself together, kid.”
He walked back out into the store, dark and quiet now that the lights and the AC had been turned off. Alana was waiting for him by the door, thumbing at her phone and twirling her keys around her finger.
“Ready?”
“Yeah.”
They set the alarms and ducked out of the building, double locking the doors before heading for the parking lot.
“What are you doing tomorrow?” Alana asked, leaning against her car.
“Crying, mostly,” Cooper deadpanned.
“Well, don’t. Come over to my apartment at ten.”
“Fuck, no. Eleven.”
“Fine.”
“Where are we going?”
“To fix you,” she said, then slid into her car before Cooper could get anything else out of her.
It was a rough night, but a lot of them had been rough recently, and Cooper was getting used to surviving on less sleep than usual. It was stupid, in a way. He’d had breakups in the past and had never taken it this hard before. Ever since he was a kid, any disturbance in his equilibrium had meant a bad night’s sleep. He wished for those easy nights with Drew curled around him, Drew’s hot breath on his shoulder, the strength of Drew’s arm anchoring Cooper back against his chest.
He arrived at Alana’s apartment late but with two large coffees, hoping he’d be forgiven. She was already sitting on the front step of her building, cigarette dangling from her fingers as she tapped at something on her phone. Alana was always so effortlessly cool. Dark hair, dark sunglasses, I don’t give a fuck attitude. Cooper thought she was amazing.
She unfurled herself gracefully and slid over the hood of the car as she went round to the passenger door.
“Good morning,” she said, leaning over to kiss his cheek.
“Where are we going?”
“To get your man back.”
Cooper chuckled darkly. “I think that ship has sailed, sunshine.”
“We’re going to fucking Disneyland,” Alana said, propping her feet up on the dashboard. “I know you know the way, I scored some comp tickets from a contact, and I’ve been mentally preparing myself for days. Get on it.”
Cooper got on it.
His stomach tied up in knots as they made their way out of the city, fingers sweating, hands slipping on the steering wheel. Alana mostly ignored him. She wasn’t really one for small talk and was far more interested in her coffee and whatever was on her phone.
He parked up in one of the guest parking lots, rather than the staff one Drew had taken him to, and tried to not be nervous.
Hah.
“Are we seriously doing this?” Cooper asked as they hopped off the parking lot shuttle and walked up to the now-familiar gates. Now October, the Indian summer had cooled considerably. Halloween was just around the corner, and the park had been covered in hundreds of glittery pumpkins. He could already smell that tempting popcorn sweetness in the air, the cheerful oom-pah-pah of the brass band music they had piped out around the park.
“I think you have to,” Alana said solemnly. “I’m willing to take a day full of children and unnaturally happy people to help you sort your shit out.”
“Can’t say ‘shit’ in Disneyland,” Cooper said mechanically. “In case the kids hear you.”
“You do know this is torture to me?” Alana asked. “This is so far from my comfort zone. But you are one of my best friends, and I’m sick of watching you moping around, and I want you to be happy.”
He reached over, took her hand, and squeezed it gently. “I appreciate it. You know he might not even be here, right?”
“He’ll be here. I called his housemate and checked.”
“You what?”
Alana shrugged. “Trevor, right? The cute guy he brought with him a few times.”
“I never saw Trevor at work,” Cooper said, frowning.
“Of course you didn’t. You were always making moon-eyes at your hottie. Trevor and I have a date on Tuesday. He coordinated his day off for me.”
Cooper gaped at her.
“Oh, shut up.”
“I thought he was gay.”
“Well, he’s not,” Alana said. “He asked me out, and I have his number, and I asked him, and he said Drew is working today.”
The “so there” was left unsaid, but Cooper heard it. He wanted to press more and find out what was going on with Trevor a
nd Alana, because there was a new take on the original odd couple, but maybe, in some strange way, they would work. Alana was dark and Trevor was sunshine, and maybe together they would be awesome. It was a definite possibility.
Once they got inside, he took Alana’s hand again and tugged her through the crowd.
“Is there anything you want to see while we’re here?” he asked.
“I’m going to buy birthday presents for my nieces. Something horrible and glittery.”
He leaned over and put a careful kiss on her cheek. “You’re a wonderful friend, and I love you.”
She harrumphed.
“I think I know where he’ll be,” Cooper said.
They wound their way down Main Street, Cooper watching Alana and her reactions more than the path ahead. Was this how Drew had felt when he had showed Cooper around the first time? It was hilarious, watching Alana’s jaw twitch, her face occasionally softening into awe and wonder, then her familiar, scowling mask coming back.
Cooper knew when Drew was in character, he mostly hung out at the back of the park, in Fantasyland, where the princes and princesses met little kids dressed up like princesses. Really, it was too much to expect Drew to be right there, somewhere obvious when they walked through. But there he was, standing on a platform next to Rapunzel with some stupid goatee stuck to his chin, waving and laughing and posing for pictures.
“Oh dear God,” Alana muttered under her breath.
“Shh.”
Cooper hung back, just watching as Drew picked up a little girl in a Cinderella dress, hitching her onto his hip and beaming for a photograph. He was, Cooper admitted, so good at this. It would be too easy to dismiss Drew as just another out-of-work Hollywood wannabe, counting down the time until his big break by being a big kid at Disneyland.
He wasn’t, though.
Drew made this more than a job. He gave every kid his full attention, joking and riffing with the girl playing his princess. He was so natural, so easy, even though Cooper knew it must be exhausting in the heat of the afternoon.
After ten minutes or so, Drew looked over and caught Cooper’s eye. For a split second, his character fell away, and Cooper was looking at the guy he’d fallen for over weird ice cream combinations and rainbow sprinkles. Then the character was back, and Drew waved, bright and alive, and turned to the next kid in line.
