“Sorry, I probably should have introduced myself first. I’m Dr. Riley Marks, the pediatric neurology resident on staff tonight. I’m working closely with Dr. Richards, whom I understand is Alison’s regular neurologist.”
“That’s right,” Kendall said. “Ali likes him a lot.” So much for not being rude.
The young doctor smiled. “So do I. He’s a good mentor. But he’s at a medical conference in Houston this weekend and not available at the moment, so you’ve got me. Rest assured, I will keep him updated on everything.”
“That’s fine. I didn’t mean... never mind,” Kendall said. “Let’s go talk.” Dr. Marks might be young, probably just out of medical school, and might look like a puck bunny, but that didn’t give Kendall an excuse to be a bitch.
The three of them followed the doctor out of Kaylen’s room and into the hall.
“Thank you,” Dr. Marks said. “I don’t want to disrupt your daughter’s rest when she needs it. There’s a conference room just down this hall where we can talk.” She began walking, and Kendall fell in step behind her, assuming the others would too.
“Just a minute.” Carter stopped and turned, holding out an arm to effectively block Becker’s path. “What you doing here? Shouldn’t this be family only?”
***
Becker had held back ever since they’d arrived at the hospital. After all, he was only there to support Kendall. He barely knew Ali. Still, as they’d walked into her room, Beck’s first thought was whether she would be all right, coupled with a fear that she might not be—and what that would mean for Kendall.
He might be fighting the ‘L word’ and sensed Kendall was as well, but this certainly wasn’t any casual fling, at least not for Becker. No, he’d felt the connection as soon as he’d met her, and he knew Kendall had, too. The question was could she acknowledge it now, or would she try to dismiss him as just that casual fling; the man who let her be as uninhibited as she wanted to be without judging, but she still couldn’t bring herself to admit she loved.
“I’m here with Kendall,” he said, stepping forward. He’d take Carter on if he had to. After all, Becker was bigger. “To support her.”
“Is this what you want?” Carter directed the question to Kendall. “Because I thought this was about us. Our family.”
Your family? You mean the one you didn’t want and discarded like yesterday’s trash for the scrawny chick from the seafood place? And all because you can’t deal with your daughter’s special needs? Surely Kendall wasn’t falling for this sudden show of concern.
Instead of putting Carter in his place, though, she turned to Becker. “We’ll probably be here a while. Maybe you should go,” she suggested.
What the hell? Now she was siding with Carter? “If you want me to stay, I stay. If you want me to go, I’ll do that, too,” Becker said, “but can I talk to you for a minute first?”
The poor young doctor looked uncomfortably at all three of them, probably wondering what kind of soap opera she’d just wandered into. “I think I’ll check on another patient while you sort this all out,” she said. “You can have me paged when you’re ready, and I’ll meet you in the conference room. It’s 702B.”
Dr. Marks walked off, and Kendall turned to Carter. “You go on. I’ll meet you there.”
For a second, Becker wondered if Kendall might ignore his request and go off with Carter to the conference too, but she seemed inclined to give him the minute he asked for. She didn’t look happy about it, though.
“Do you want me to leave?” Becker wanted to know. “Because when we got here, you seemed pretty grateful to have me by your side.”
“I was, yes.” Kendall said. “But Carter...”
“Likes to stir things up and make you doubt yourself.” Becker exhaled. The son of a bitch knew exactly how to push her buttons.
“Maybe he’s right,” Kendall said. “We don’t know how sick Ali is or how long this will take. You don’t want to spend the whole day at the hospital.”
“Really? How about you let me decide what I want.” Becker felt his anger rise. Hadn’t he made it clear to her that he wanted to be with her, by her side, no matter what?
“Please, Beck, can we not make this a scene?”
“A scene?” he repeated. “It seems to me, if anyone’s trying to cause a scene, it’s your ex-husband. I’ll leave, though,” he said with a huff. “After I do one thing.”
“What’s that?”
Becker answered by pulling Kendall toward him and kissing her. If she immediately pulled away, then he’d know he had the whole thing wrong, and he’d walk away for good. It would hurt, but he’d suck it up a do it.
Kendall didn’t pull away, though, and she didn’t attempt to push him away. Instead, her lips parted and she responded to the kiss. And that’s when Becker broke it off.
“I’ll go now, but I wanted to leave you with something to think about. Did Carter ever kiss you like that? Did he ever make you feel the way I do? You don’t have to answer right now. Just think about it.” And with that, he turned and walked to the elevator.
***
And he thought Carter liked to stir things up? Maybe he did, but Beck sure knew how to bring about a different kind of stirring. Things weren’t settled between them, far from it, but Kendall couldn’t chase after him. Not now, not when her daughter needed her.
Instead, she watched the elevator doors close with Becker behind them, then went to the nurse’s station to have Dr. Marks paged.
The young doctor met her there within a few minutes. “Are you ready to discuss Alison’s case now?”
“Yes. I’m very sorry about that,” Kendall said. She was angry, too. Angry at Carter, for trying to make Becker leave. At Beck, for escalating things. And most importantly at herself, for letting both of them get to her. Especially when all of her focus needed to be on Ali.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not the first time a hospital setting has caused some family tension.”
As they walked down the hall, Kendall asked, “Are you married, doctor?”
“Are you kidding?” Dr. Marks laughed. “I’m a second year resident in Pediatric Neurology. The only thing I’m married to is my job.”
Kendall nodded, deciding she liked the young doctor more and more. “Good for you. Marriage isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”
Carter proved her point when they joined him in the conference room and the first thing he asked was, “Did your boyfriend leave?”
Kendall shot him a glare. “Just don’t, okay?” she warned. “We’re here to talk about Ali.”
“Yes,” Dr. Marks said. “I’ve been looking over her prior history, and it appears she had a seizure a few weeks ago, too.”
“That’s right,” Kendall said. “It didn’t last very long, though.” No, that one had been very brief. This one, judging from what Carter told her, was a lot worse. She frowned. “Are these going to keep getting more severe?”
“That’s what we want to avoid,” Dr. Marks said. “As I’m sure you’re aware, seizures are very common in patients with Rett syndrome. They usually lessen in frequency in adolescence, but in Ali’s case that’s quite a ways off. I think we should take a look at a different medication that might bring the seizures under control.”
The doctor went on to tell them about the some of the available medications and side effects before leaving them alone to discuss it.
“What do you think?” Carter asked.
“I don’t know... I’m not crazy about overmedicating her, especially if it’s going to cause headaches and dizziness, but if we can get the seizures under control, I want that,” Kendall said. “I don’t want to keep having to rush to the hospital, Carter. It scared me so much when you called me.”
“It scared me when it happened. I didn’t know what to do.” He walked over and put his arm around her, pulling her closer. “I just knew I needed you here. You’re so much better at these things than I am.”
“I don’t know about t
hat.” Maybe he was only trying to flatter her, but Kendall relaxed into his embrace. “I don’t think I’m handling anything very well right now.”
“Yes, you are. I was a mess until you got here. I’m better when you’re with me,” Carter said, planting a kiss on her forehead.
What the hell? He was better when she was with him? What kind of line was that? And where was he going with it? Kendall didn’t want to find out, and quickly pulled away. “Don’t, Carter. You already made your choice, and it wasn’t me. We’re Ali’s parents, and we’re going to get her through this. But that’s it.”
And hopefully Becker would understand why she’d done what she did.
Chapter Thirteen
The next couple of days were mostly spent at the hospital while Alison underwent a series of tests. After another consultation with Dr. Marks, this time with Ali’s regular neurologist also present, the decision was made to start her on a new medication in an attempt to get the seizures under control.
Through it all, Kendall tried to keep her distance from Carter, at least to the greatest extent possible. His actions confused her, and the last thing she needed in her life was more confusion.
For that reason, she also kept her distance from Becker. He tried to call several times on Sunday, and Kendall ignored the call both times. She also kept Tristan home from hockey camp on Monday, in what she knew was a purely selfish move, which left her son pouting and telling her she was a horrible mother.
Great. Lovely. Could anything cut through a woman’s heart more than hearing those words from her child? “Your sister just got out of the hospital,” Kendall tried to explain. “Don’t you want to spend some time with her?”
“I spend plenty of time with her,” Tristan said. “And you could bring her to watch camp, too. You know she likes it.”
Kendall did, which only made her feel more selfish. “It’s too soon. Maybe in a few days.” She couldn’t avoid it forever, after all.
“This has something to do with Becker, doesn’t it?”
How could an eight-year-old be so perceptive? “What do you mean?” Kendall made a lame attempt at sounding innocent.
“Did you guys have a fight?”
“Of course not.” Kendall didn’t consider it a lie. After all, it hadn’t been a fight, exactly. No, it was more of a brush off. “What gave you that idea?”
“Because you’re in a bad mood and you haven’t wanted me to go to camp, probably because you’d have to see Beck.”
Kendall sighed. “That has nothing to do with it,” she lied. “I told you why I kept you home. Don’t you have a video game to play or something?” Great. Now I’m encouraging him to be glued to that stupid tablet even more, all because I don’t want to have this conversation.
“Sure, I guess.” Tristan trudged off, then stopped halfway up the stairs to his room. “Mom?”
“Yes?”
“I really like Beck. I just wanted you to know that.”
Yeah. I really like him, too. She’d probably ruined that, though. He hadn’t tried to call again after the two attempts which she’d ignored, and when the phone rang shortly after noon, Kendall hoped maybe it was him, calling because she hadn’t been at the rink and Tristan had been absent from camp.
Instead, it was Lori. “Okay, chica,” her friend said as soon as Kendall answered. “I’m coming over and you’re going to tell me what’s going on. And I know this isn’t just about Ali, so don’t even try to play that card with me.”
Twenty minutes later, Tristan was playing with Coby and seemed to be in a slightly better mood. Alison was napping. Kendall poured Lori a glass of lemonade and prepared to face the barrage of questions.
Instead, her friend started with a statement that caught Kendall off guard. “Becker came up to me after camp today and asked about you, and also about Ali.”
“He did?”
“Does that surprise you?” Lori took a drink and set the glass down, gripping it with both hands. “Surely you know he cares about you.”
“I do, yes.” Kendall thought about what the woman at the botanical garden had said. Becker cared about her, absolutely. He might even love her. And that frankly terrified her. “Beck’s a good man.”
“So what’s the problem here?” Lori asked. “What are you not telling me?”
“That I made a mess of things,” Kendall said, and proceeded to tell her best friend about all of the events of Saturday, starting with the incredible time she’d had with Becker at the botanical garden, and ending with the moment, or whatever the hell it was, with Carter in the conference room at the hospital.
“Are you serious? He kissed you?” Lori demanded.
“It was just a little peck on the forehead.”
“And yet, it was apparently enough to throw you off balance.” Lori leaned forward. “Please tell me you’re not actually thinking about going back to Carter. Please tell me that, Kendall.”
“Of course not,” Kendall assured her. “What do you take me for? A complete idiot?” She shook her head. “That was just Carter being Carter. He doesn’t cope with adversity well. I do think he was genuinely worried about Ali, so I give him points for that. But the rest... the rest was trying to mess with my head a little bit.” And she’d played right into it by asking Beck to leave. At least she’d had the good sense to push Carter away, though. One out of two was better than zero out of two.
“I’m not going down that road with Carter again,” she promised. “Even at his best, his most charming, when things were great between us, the passion was never as strong as it is with Beck.”
“Right. So, I reiterate. What’s the problem here?” Lori asked again.
“Do you even have to ask? I’m scared,” Kendall said. “Scared of my feelings, and the intensity of them, and what it all means. Yes, we have great passion between us, but it all happened so fast, and I’m not sure I’m ready. I recently got divorced, I was just barely getting used to being single.” She stared at her glass, but found no wisdom in it. “I have to be there for my kids.”
“You can be there for them and still be with Beck,” Lori insisted. “You said he likes them.”
“Sure, some of the time, in small doses,” Kendall said. “But what about all of the time? He’s seen them at their best, Lor. He’s never seen Tristan when he’s being a brat, or Ali when she’s having a seizure...”
“And you’re afraid if he does, he won’t be able to handle it. That he’ll be out the door just like Carter was.”
“Wouldn’t you be?” Kendall asked. “Afraid, I mean.”
“A little, maybe. I think it’s understandable, after what you’ve been through,” Lori acknowledged. “I think I’d give him a chance, though. If the feelings are that strong, if it burns that hot between you, don’t you think Becker deserves the chance to show you that maybe he’s different?”
***
Becker envisioned all numbers of nightmare scenarios when Kendall didn’t take any of his calls, and even more when neither she nor Tristan showed up for camp on Monday. Was she avoiding him? And if so, was it because of Carter? Or worse, had Ali’s condition taken a turn for the worse?
He was distracted all through the practice sessions, though he hoped the kids didn’t notice, and as soon as it was over, he rushed over to where Kendall’s friend sat to ask about her. Although Lori assured him Kendall was fine and Ali was okay, that still left the scenario in which she was avoiding him, and possibly because of Carter. That wasn’t exactly comforting.
He relaxed a little when Tuesday rolled around, and Tristan was back. And more importantly, Kendall was back in her customary seat. “Hey, buddy,” Becker greeted Tristan. “We missed you yesterday.”
“Yeah, I couldn’t make it.” The boy’s eyes were cast downward at the ice.
“Were you sick?”
“No. My mom’s just been weird lately.” Tristan looked up at him. “Did you guys have a fight?”
Becker frowned. “Is that what your mom said?”
Tristan shook his head. “No, she won’t say anything at all. She’s just acting weird. I thought maybe it was because of you.”
“Oh.” So Kendall was ‘acting weird.’ Becker wasn’t exactly sure what that meant, or whether he should be encouraged or discouraged.
“Will you try to talk to her?” Tristan asked. “It might make her feel better.”
Or it might make her feel worse. “I can’t promise you that,” Becker said. “I will try to talk with her, though. As soon as we’re done.”
That seemed to cheer the boy up, and he gave a good effort in all of the drills Becker put them through. His own mood was elevated a little simply by knowing that Kendall was there, watching, and as much as he enjoyed coaching the kids, Becker found himself anxious for the day’s session to end.
As soon as it did, he skated over to where Kendall sat with Lori. Much like the first day they’d met, he approached her with caution, not having any idea what to expect. “Hi, Kendall.”
“Hi, Beck.”
“How are you? How’s Ali?”
“I’m okay,” she said. “She is, too. The doctors put her on a medication to try to control the seizures, so we’ll see if that helps.”
Becker nodded. “I hope it does.”
“Me, too.”
An uncomfortable silence fell between them, when just a few days ago, they’d been laughing, joking around, and sharing kisses by a fountain. Had they lost all of that in so short a time?
Becker leaned forward, resting his hands on the top of his stick. “I don’t like the way we ended things on Saturday,” he said. “Can we talk about it?”
Kendall hesitated a second, but nodded. “We should, yes. But I have to get Tristan home.”
“I’ll take him with me,” Lori piped up. “He can hang out with Coby and I’ll take them for lunch. I’ll bring him back to your house later. Or maybe he can even spend the night.”
Bless you, Lori, Becker thought. If nothing else, it was nice to have an ally in Kendall’s best friend. “So what do you say?” he asked Kendall. “Can we go somewhere? Maybe grab a bite?”
More hesitation, then another nod. “Okay, I suppose. How about the deli around the corner?”
Scoring at Love (Men of the Ice Book 4) Page 8
