I couldn’t wrap my head around something that big yet. Tonight, all I wanted was for Remi to drive us both to my house and for her to stay. I reached across the console and rested my hand on her thigh. She slipped her hand under mine, met my eye and smiled.
“You’re sure?” I asked.
“Bien sûr.”
Remi’s switch to French lightened my mood. “You know how to cheer a girl up.”
“J’en sais plus que ça,” she said with a hint of promise in her voice.
“I hope the translation of that involves some kissing,” I said.
“Of much more than that. You can be certain.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
“What do you want to watch?” I handed Remi a plate of enchilada and rice. Before she answered, I added, “No more Ghost Hunters.” I’d fulfilled my requirement to sit through a full episode with no disparaging remarks and no wandering hands or lips. Now we could see something different.
“Fair enough. Finding Bigfoot?”
“You’re joking, right?” I settled on my couch next to her.
“You discredit fellow scientists so easily?”
“Fellow scientists,” I snickered. “How about Biggest Loser?”
“Since when do you watch Biggest Loser?”
“It has a good message. Work hard. Eat healthy.”
“Sounds thrilling.”
“It’s accurate. Measurable results. Way more scientific.”
“Don’t you get enough of that at work?”
“Is that why you like shows about ghosts and Bigfoot?”
“Yes. I need a break from real-life problems.” She took a bite of enchilada. “Delicious.”
“Don’t get too excited. It’s pretty much the only thing I know how to make.”
“Ah, perfect solution. A cooking show.”
I was about to ask how she thought I could learn from accomplished chefs on television when she suggested Nailed It. I didn’t even have to pull it up to know that it was not serious. Still, it wasn’t Ghost Hunters, so I handed over the remote to Remi.
As she pulled up an episode, a line formed between her sculpted eyebrows. I couldn’t imagine what would make it so hard to choose an episode, and even after she cued one up, she didn’t hit play. She rubbed her thumb across the play button and glanced at me.
“What’s up?”
“The second Lego Batman movie is out in theaters now.”
I hated how tentative she sounded. I knew the hesitation came from setting up something that hadn’t turned out. I was glad she was still asking me. “Neil must be psyched. When are you taking him?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Oh!” I kicked myself for the knee-jerk exclamation.
“Would you want to go to the first matinee with us?”
“Absolutely,” I said. I wondered if it had been their plan for a long time, and she’d been waiting to see if I was going to disappear for the weekend again. “Does he know you’re inviting me?”
“He kind of has an armor he puts on when he goes out in public. He should be fine.”
I nodded. Realizing that ditching him had affected him to that extent felt shitty. And it stung that she had extended an invitation where he was prepared to protect himself, but I deserved that.
“Thanks for inviting me. I have some cells to check in the morning, but it won’t take me long at all.”
* * *
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid . The word spun in my head. What had I been thinking jinxing myself by saying that I shouldn’t be long at the lab? Had I not said anything, I could have rolled in, treated my cells and made it to the movie theater with time to spare.
As it was, even skipping lunch had not helped me deal with the unexpected contamination in the incubator. I was relieved to get all my samples relocated, but since Judy wanted me to start taking more of a leadership position, I had to stay and help resolve the issue.
I’d texted Remi that I’d meet her at the theater when it was clear how long that was going to take.
Everything okay?
Not really. Working fast.
My phone buzzed. I felt like I had just texted Remi, but almost an hour had already passed. Neil doesn’t like to miss the previews. Almost here?
I hated that I was causing her stress. Not quite. Meet you inside. Where do you sit?
I paused, wanting to finish the exchange before I put my gloves back on to clean up the hood I had been using. The longer I waited, the more uncertain I became. I put my gloves back on and got back to putting my pipettes and cell-culture media away. Writing out a note for the lab manager, I wondered if it would be better to show up late for the movie or not at all? I should have asked instead of presuming. Should I ask now? I did not in any way want her to think that I was angling for an out. Shit. Shit. Shit. How had this happened again? I heard Valerie shrugging it off, saying, “It’s science, mate,” but that didn’t calm my nerves. My phone buzzed again and I threw my gloves in the trash before pulling my phone out of my lab coat.
Three rows from the front.
Got it.
I shoved my phone in my pocket, heading to my office to wrap up. My phone buzzed again.
Not a good idea to come in if movie has started.
Shit!
You have about fifteen minutes.
Which meant I was out of time. I’d have to finish my email to Judy later and pray that she didn’t hear about the contamination from the lab manager before she got it. Throwing my lab coat at my desk, I raced to the parking lot and drove like Lego Batman out of hell to get there.
I literally ran directly up to the window, relieved that I didn’t have to wait to get my ticket. “Has it started?”
He turned to the clock, costing me precious time to grab a snack so my stomach didn’t growl during the movie. “Starts in five.”
I thanked him and ran through the door after the ticket man ripped the ticket and pointed out my theater. Anxiety knocking against my pounding heart, I fidgeted in line, checking my watch every ten seconds. With about thirty seconds to spare, I ran to the theater and slipped in for the last ad before the movie, asking people to silence their cell phones and enjoy the show.
I easily spotted two single silhouettes near the front and slipped in beside Remi. “Made it!” I whispered.
Neil shushed me loudly.
I mouthed sorry to Remi and leaned back to catch my breath. I tipped my head to the side to smile at Remi and saw her eyes glued to my popcorn. I extended it toward her. She shook her head vehemently, glanced worriedly at her brother and then focused on the big screen.
“I skipped lunch,” I whispered as quietly as possible. Still, I pictured my words going straight through Remi’s head and out the other ear to accost Neil.
Remi tipped her hand up at the wrist.
What did that mean? That she got it? That I’d blown it? Should I eat it?
My stomach rumbled loudly, and I caught Remi looking at me out of the corner of her eye.
I should have stayed at the lab.
Having already been shushed by Neil for whispering, I worried over how to eat popcorn quietly. As delicately as possible, I pinched a few kernels of popcorn and placed them in my mouth. I willed my cheeks to absorb all the sound. Still, Neil folded his arms across his chest. What happened to his having armor he put on in public?
I took one piece of popcorn from the top and chewed as slowly as possible.
Neil started tapping his elbow.
How could he possibly be hearing my chewing? It didn’t seem possible, but Remi touched his elbow briefly, so I knew I wasn’t making up Neil’s discomfort. I began to lower the popcorn to the floor, but Remi stayed my hand with hers. “Neil’s very sensitive to eating sounds, but he knows they cannot be avoided entirely. Eat your popcorn. Please.”
Neil shushed his sister. I wondered if they sat so close to the screen to avoid being near anyone who might make a noise.
“I should move,” I whispered.
&n
bsp; “Stop worrying. You’re hungry.” Her smile was tight.
I wanted to argue, but I knew better than to continue to talk with the previews going. I would hold the popcorn and not eat it. Remi couldn’t force me to eat it. My stomach grumbled again. Shit! Was Neil going to shush that too? I put a piece of popcorn on my tongue, waited until my saliva made it soggy, and then mushed it against the roof of my mouth with my tongue.
Remi smacked me lightly on the arm. “Don’t be weird.”
I raised my shoulders in question.
“There is no quiet way to eat popcorn. Neil and I can move if it bothers him.”
“I’ll move.”
“You’re too loud,” Neil said loudly. Remi tensed and whispered something to Neil. He nodded, his eyes boring into me. Still looking at me and not the screen, he moved over a seat.
I wished I had thought to ask whether they had a protocol they followed before the movie. But then, I wished I had eaten a real lunch, met Remi at her place, and picked up Neil together. My stomach had soured to the point where I could not enjoy the popcorn. Remi quickly noticed that I had stopped eating. “Eat,” she whispered. “He has to learn that he can’t always control what’s around him.”
I dutifully placed another few pieces of popcorn on my tongue, too aware of the tension buzzing between Remi and Neil to take in any of the movie at all. Neil lasted in his new seat for five pieces of popcorn. Then he moved farther down the row. Three more handfuls, he left our row and moved to the row in front of us. Remi turned in my direction before she got up to join Neil, but it was too dark for me to read her expression.
I ate until my stomach stopped growling. Keeping Neil in his seat became my main concern, and by the time the movie ended, I had two-thirds of a bucket of congealed popcorn to toss. Not wanting Remi to see how much I was throwing away, I left the theater when the credits began. I wasn’t surprised when Remi and Neil followed on my heels. Remi paused by me, but Neil kept walking without acknowledging me.
“Neil, we need to say goodbye to Karla.”
“You should eat at home, not in the movie theater,” he said.
Despite knowing about his autism, his words stung. “I’m sorry, Neil. Pretty much nothing happened the way I thought it would today.”
“You should plan better. I have a planner.”
“She apologized, Neil. Can you accept her apology?”
“And then we can go?” He was only looking at her.
“Then we can go.” Remi sounded tired.
“I am really sorry,” I repeated.
“I accept your apology but…”
“That’s all,” Remi interrupted. “You accepted. Thank you.”
He turned and began to walk toward the exit. “You said we could go now.”
I could tell that Remi was frustrated when she started to walk backward. I took a step but she held up her hand to stop me. She placed the tiniest of kisses on her fingertips which she tipped in my direction. “I’ll call you.”
I wanted her frustration to be because of Neil dragging her off the second the movie ended, but I worried that everything had gone south because of me. If I’d been there on time having eaten lunch beforehand, would we be walking together talking about details about the movie? I probably wouldn’t get another invitation to find out.
Chapter Twenty-Three
I had mass with my parents in the morning. My mother was not sending Rosa over to make sure I was eating since I had told her I might be eating with Remi. We usually did something between mass and Sunday dinner, but after the disaster at the movie theater, and her “I’ll call you,” I thought it would be best to wait.
I had things to do, anyway. I ran a load of laundry and scared Petri with the vacuum. I went shopping for the week and cleaned out my pantry. To encourage her to call, I started a paper that I’d been meaning to read.
I’d gotten discouragingly far before I admitted defeat and walked over to my parents’ house for dinner.
“What is bothering you,” my mom asked as she served the enchilada casserole.
“Nothing,” I said.
“Are your mice infected again?”
“Ma, I don’t even work with mice right now. There was a problem with cell contamination in the lab yesterday, but I got it under control.”
“But you still sound worried. Will your boss be angry?” my mom asked.
“She doesn’t spend very much time in the lab. Running the lab is a whole different ball game.” I remembered explaining the difference between being a postdoc and a research scientist to Rosa. The difference between what I did and what Judy did was vast. And the more time she spent working with the sponsor and the FDA, the more those responsibilities would fall to me. I would be spending more time writing grants, traveling to conferences, and troubleshooting problems that would undoubtedly come up in the lab.
I had anticipated that kind of responsibility my whole career, yet now that I was on the cusp of securing that role, I worried about what Remi would think. That paused my thoughts, and I noticed the quiet at the table. What were we talking about? Running the lab being a whole new ball game. I saw an opportunity to switch the subject and took it. “Maybe I should take Remi to a ball game. I’ve been trying to think of another good date idea. You score any tickets?” I asked Luis.
“Not lately,” he said. “My timing is off. I was pretty sure you stole it when you picked up your lady friend. Thought you’d be getting plenty lucky.”
“Luis,” Antonia, my mother and I all said at once.
He threw his arms in the air. “Just sayin’. Where is your girl, anyway?”
I flushed hot at his question, my silent phone heavy in my pocket. It wasn’t bad that she hadn’t called or texted all day, was it? I certainly wasn’t going to offer that question to my family. I’d been busy today. She could be busy too. Luckily, Antonia saved me, jumping into the conversation.
“I hope you’re going to the movies and eating at restaurants that don’t take kids. You could go on a road trip, head out to Santa Barbara or Las Vegas. So many things you can do. I love my kids, but I miss the stuff Gustavo and I used to be able to do together when it was just the two of us.”
Giselle ribbed Luis and said he should be taking notes from his sister because she was tired of going to ball games, and Rosa asked her grandparents to talk about when they were dating. I sat back and soaked in how lucky I was. How many families would so easily move into talking about their own dating after the lesbian said something about hers? My family had never once called me a dyke, had never made me fear rejection. I wished I could bring Maricela home to show her how accepting families could be. Or maybe I should bring Maricela’s mother to give her a lesson on how family should treat each other.
I stayed late enjoying the rapid-fire conversation between my brother and sister, which kept my mother from asking what was swirling in my thoughts. Her eyes were on me, so I knew there was a follow-up question about what was bothering me in store. Not tonight, though. After my brother and his family left, I walked home with even more to think about. My mother’s question about my boss made it impossible not to think of the impact more responsibility at work would have on the time left to spend with my family.
There was just enough ambient light from the lengthening days to navigate to my room and change into my pajamas for my nighttime routine. I wondered what Remi was doing and then decided it was stupid to spend any more time on it. I didn’t want to play games. I wanted to know how she was.
My family asked about you at dinner.
A happy face popped up. Then, Duplo has arrived to destroy me.
I furrowed my brow. Duplo? As I put toothpaste on my brush, I figured out that Remi was referencing a scene from The Lego Movie. I sighed. She was with Neil. Had yesterday’s movie experience required an all-day intervention? I remembered when Remi shared that her brother could be viewed as the competition by some. To have any chance at a relationship, I could not view Neil as the competition.
/> Not Batman Lego tonight?
Go figure. Neil insisted. Almost over. Okay to call you on my way home?
Sure.
I finished brushing my teeth and arranged myself with my feet up on the wall to run through my meditation. On Be Content, my phone rang.
“It’s late. I’m sorry,” Remi said.
“I’m glad you called. I was so wishing that you were at dinner with me tonight.”
“Why is that?”
“If you were there, they wouldn’t be able to tease me.”
“If I remember correctly, they still teased you when I was there for dinner.”
“But then you were there to smile and take away the sting.”
“What did they say tonight?”
“My brother says once I met you, I stole his luck.”
“That sounds sweet, not like teasing.”
“I edited it to take out the crassness.”
Remi laughed. “I wished you were with me, too.”
“With Neil?”
“With Neil.”
The line was silent for several beats. I scooted my legs off the wall and sat cross-legged on the carpet, picking at cat hairs. “Lay it on me. How bad was the popcorn?” I hadn’t expected Remi to laugh and was startled by the burst that erupted from her. Despite my trepidation, I smiled.
“That will be your name for a while, I’m afraid.”
“What does that mean, my name? He calls me popcorn?”
“Why was Popcorn late?” she said in a deeper voice, mimicking her brother.
I winced. “There was unexpected contamination at my lab yesterday. I couldn’t leave until I had it contained.”
“I understand that your work is unpredictable…”
“Neil doesn’t,” I said.
“He has trouble understanding that not all jobs start and end at an exact time.”
“That’s a problem.”
“It is a new challenge that we will figure out. I think he is working on it in his own way.”
Cure for Insomnia Page 18
