As I stared at the body I saw the choppers returning, I hobbled back to the house and rested in my bed knowing that Dexter would walk through the door at any moment. I was still smiling, to me killing was like a game you just had to kill without being caught. It wasn't easy but it wouldn't be any fun if was!
I heard the front door open and footsteps getting louder as they got closer to my room, Dexter opened my bedroom door and asked if I was alright, he asked what had happened and I told him that someone had been shot and that I didn't think we were safe on this island anymore. He was of the naïve opinion that we were fine, he took off his riot gear and gave me a pistol with a silencer and told me to keep it on me at all times and stay indoors. I took the pistol and placed it on the cabinet next to my bed then he walked out of the room. Dexter didn't have a clue that it was me, not even a suspicion, it was fantastic. I just lie for a few hours thinking until Dexter came back in and told me that they had found one of the dead man’s friends from the group he was with formerly. He was a scientist then minutes after telling me he got a call from saying that something had been discovered, something that could change everything but he refused to tell Dexter on the phone.
We went to bed that night and I woke up early eager to kill again but I went into the kitchen and made a cup of tea. It was the first cup of tea I'd had in years, the taste was incredible, it even kept my urges at bay for a while at least. I made a cup for Dexter, he sipped at it whilst telling that he was going to meet the scientist in half an hour and he asked me to go with him. After drinking our tea we went to the lab where we were meeting the scientist we had to wait outside the room for about an hour but when we were finally allowed in he told us to sit and then after a while of pottering about with some test tubes he said there was good chance that he would be able to make a cure. Even if it was possible there would be no way of manufacturing and distributing it. Dexter stood up and paced up and down the room with both his hands squeezed against his head, he then said “what if we could take care of the manufacturing”? There was a place in Cardiff where they produced a swine flu vaccine, if we took out the zombies and secured the perimeter we could get the manufacturing done and distribute it using the choppers. The scientist confirmed that although it was a fantastic idea there was no way the people here would agree with it. Dexter then ran out of the room and left me with the scientist, he told me to leave so I hobbled out and went back to the house.
I didn't have a clue where Dexter had got to and with my crutches it was pretty hard to follow him and he was running so I didn't bother trying. I stayed at the house for hours waiting for him, about nine hours after he ran off he came through the door soaking wet, it was pissing down with rain out there and he said he had been outside talking to Chris the leader on the island. He was the man that had saved the lives of all these people, he was rebuilding a community but from the way Dexter described him he seemed like a bastard. Dexter persuaded Chris to let him take two choppers and a team of people to Cardiff for two weeks to make the cure. Dexter seemed quite excited, he said they were leaving tomorrow and he'd just been talking to the scientist he went out of the room for a while after telling me then came back in with a steaming hot cup of tea in an old fashioned looking china mug, he passed it to me and sat at the end of my bed with a glass of water. He then told me that I couldn't go to Cardiff with him because they needed men who would be able to help, I felt so much anger building up inside of me but I knew there was nothing I could do about it, Dexter had made his mind up and I would have done the same but I just didn't think Dexter was the kind of person that would leave a man behind but obviously I was wrong. Dexter told me that he was sorry and walked out the room with what I thought was a slight grin on his face, this island had really changed him.
I went to bed that night with a pounding headache and a starving urge to kill when I woke up the next morning Dexter and his team were gone and I was left alone on an island full of strangers.
When I walked down the stairs I found a letter from Dexter which said “Thanks for everything pal”, on top of the letter was a packet of cigarettes and a box of matches. I walked into the living room and sat in the armchair in the corner which was next to the window I took out a cigarette and lit it, I took a breath before inhaling I swear that was the best cigarette I've ever had, the taste was just indescribable, it really took the edge off my anger but sadly it wasn't a cure for my need to kill, well there had been but she died and now I've got no one.
After sitting in the chair for a while I grabbed my crutches and went for a walk to try and clear my head, it really didn't work I just saw more and more people I found myself killing them over and over again in my head. I pictured stabbing, strangling and shooting random people on the island, it was actually pretty scary thinking of killing everyone you see but as I was walking home a young man with dark hair and a light brown coat with jeans ran up to saying that the scientist and told me that Dexter had left me something at the laboratory.
I walked back to the lab with the boy, wondering just what he had left me. Laid on the table was a mechanical leg, when I asked the boy what it was he said “it’s a robotic leg your friend Dexter a few other scientists and a mechanic were working on it most of yesterday and through the night, they told me to give it to you today, they said I had to put to metal rods in your leg to connect it and then it should work”. The word “Should” stuck out in my mind as he sat me on a chair and stabbed the two roads into my leg, I screamed out in pain as he connected the mechanical leg. When the leg was attached the boy said “it should be automatic from here.”
I sat up and put both of my legs on the ground, the boy then helped me to my feet. It was a strange sensation at first, I was balanced but my guess was that it was going to take some getting used to. It felt awkward, weird and great all at the same time. I attempted to walk but was obviously quite wobbly at first, I knew it would get easier with each step I took. It wasn’t long before I was walking, it may have looked a bit strange but I was beginning to get the hang of it.
As I left the lab I smiled to myself, I could walk again! It wasn't as easy to walk as it had been before the accident but I could walk and that was the main thing. As I walked urges to kill seemed to consume me as every person I saw I imagined watching as their heart stopped beating. I knew it was only going to get worse and the images of me killing them became more and more vivid and a pain surged through my head whenever I thought of it.
I was shattered when I reached home, this mechanical leg was so heavy. I went into the living room and grabbed the box of cigarettes from the seat of the armchair I took one out and lit it, after having a few puffs of it I threw it out the window and went up to Dexter’s room. I actually missed him, he had been like a brother to me, he even saved my life. I would be dead if it wasn’t for him, he had been an amazing friend to me and I hoped that he would survive out there.
I looked through Dexter’s bedside cabinet, inside I found a bible and a handgun then I looked under the bed but found nothing. Knowing Dexter I would have thought he'd have had some weapons stashed but he only had the handgun. I went back to my room and put the gun on the side, it was starting to get late so I rested on the bed for a while thinking of Gina, I don't know why but for some reason I really missed her, even more than usual. I couldn't stop thinking about her, she was just so beautiful and she was the one person who could make me feel normal (whatever that is).
I got up after a few minutes, I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep while I was thinking about Gina. I sat up and grabbed the hand gun from the side, the urges were getting too strong, someone had to pay for Gina’s death. it wasn't fair that she was dead and I was alive, it should have been the other way around. I felt so many emotions when I was around Gina and when I was with her she made everything bad seem okay even if there were flesh eating zombies chasing after us. It had been quite a while since I had been up close with a zombie I suppose I should really be thankful for that, but at least when zombies were arou
nd there was a bit of excitement in my life now it’s just like being back at the asylum, apart from the fact that my urges were subdued there and I had Gina when we were at the tower.
I got up off the bed after a while, I still had the gun in my hand. I pointed it towards my head and closed my eyes everything was so quiet. I wish I could say I pulled the trigger, I really do, but unfortunately I didn't. I put the gun in my back trouser pocket and walked down the stairs, I still couldn’t believe how good it felt to be able to walk again. When I got to the bottom off the stairs I saw the box of cigarettes, I picked them up on the way out along with my burnt black jacket from the tower. I put the jacket on when I got outside and saw a woman across the street. She approached me, she must have been in her sixties but she didn't look it, she had short brown hair and a purple jacket on she said:
“Vera, Vera Anderson, I know who you are and I can see in your eyes how much you just want to take that pistol from your pocket and shoot me, I know all about you James or should I call you Mister Treadmore? “Killer of the innocent, I thought you were going to do something with your life James I'm ashamed of you.”
I just looked at her in amazement how did she know who I was and what I had done? When I asked her how she knew about me she said “I’m your mother James and you've got some explaining to do” I didn’t know what to say my mother was dead, well I thought she was.
She took me back to her house and made me a cup of coffee while I asked her how she knew so much about me and most importantly where had she been for all these years? She said that she’d always been with me but that she wanted to keep her distance, she wanted me to have a chance in life, she continued, explaining that she was a killer like me! She knew so much about me and my life because everywhere I went she followed she has hidden in the shadows for all these years, she wanted to protect me from afar but all I could think was that she hadn’t done a very good job.
Vera told me that she’d seen me kill tens of times (I guess I didn’t watch my back enough) I was still finding it hard to believe that my mother she was still alive. After drinking the tea she asked me a few questions she then grabbed me by the hand and showed me to her bedroom, tied to the bed was a middle aged man and on the table next to the bed there were and array of saws, axes, hammers, knives and everything that could possibly be used to kill. It was all arranged so neatly on the table, it was quite scary but I liked it. My mother was just like me only with more of an OCD twist.
The man lying on the bed was on top of a plastic sheet, as I walked around the bed Vera said told me that this was her gift to me. I walked over to the table as she stood watching me from the doorway, she smiled and said “go on” I reached down to the table and grabbed an axe. I stood closer to the bed and looked down at the man tied it, he had tape over his mouth and he was shaking his head. I raised the axe above my head as the light from the bulb glistened on the blade. I remember the look in the man’s eyes, he knew he was about to die and nothing could stop it. Before I went to kill him I looked back at my mum, she nodded in approval as I swung forward, I stopped just shy of his neck. I took another look at the man then put the axe back on the table and walked past my mum she said “James, come back here. Kill him.”
It was at that point that I woke up, it had all been a dream. My mum wasn't really alive and she wasn’t really a killer, it had just been a dream.
The handgun was still on the side I got up and went into Dexter’s room, I still expected him to be there. I couldn’t believe he was going to be away for two weeks, then after that they have to distribute the cure so he’d be gone for even longer.
I went downstairs and made a cup of tea, I had a tin of peas for breakfast. It obviously wasn't the best breakfast I’d ever had but it’s the zombie apocalypse I didn’t expect a full English.
After eating I had my last cigarette and pondered on the underlying meaning of my dream. I thought maybe it meant that I shouldn't kill anymore or that I should kill more or it could have meant nothing at all but it was strange and a little unsettling, I felt quite weird for the rest of the day. I tried to forget about killing but my urges grew and I feared I would kill again and soon.
I must have survived all this for a reason, later that day I went outside to where Dexter used to do his weapons training and there was an old man with an AK-47 shooting at targets, he looked about eighty but he was a pretty good shot, even Dexter couldn't shoot as good as he could. An old man like that being able to shoot with that level of accuracy, I was impressed.
I opened the metal gate to the training area and went inside, the man turned and looked at me then he said “come, sit with me man I don't know who you are or where you come from but I’m drunk. Fancy a drink?” I walked over to him and said “sure I could do with a drink.” I shook his hand while he poured me a whisky I don't remember anything else that happened that night, all I knew was that I'd had a lot to drink.
I woke up the next morning with a dreadful hangover and my hands were covered in blood, I went to the bathroom feeling like I was going to puke, I washed the blood from my hands and tried desperately to remember what had happened that night.
My head was pounding, I got a glass of water and went back to bed. I slept the rest of that day waking up every so often to puke, it really wasn't fun. I woke up the morning feeling marginally better, I got up and felt slightly unsteady on my feet but after splashing some cold water on my face and having some water I went for a walk around the island. I sat on a bench by a row of houses, I saw a few kids playing football it reminded me of when my son was alive. I went to the farmers field that our house backed onto (I used to play football with him there every day before he started to grow up) I think the best day I ever spent with him was when just the two of us went down to the beach, we got chips there and went in the sea for a few hours and I taught him how to swim. I can still remember the look on his face, he loved it. He was only about six at the time but it’s the best memories I have of him, after reminiscing for a few hours I walked home.
There was no one around I didn't know what was happening, I only saw one man on the way back to the house and as soon as I saw him I pulled the gun from my back pocket and shot him in the head, I didn't even think about it, it was instinct. At first I didn't realise what I had done, the noise of the gun echoed throughout the island and I fell back catching myself on the building behind me. I ran, people came out of their houses and saw me but I just kept running until I got back to my house.
when I got in I sat at the front door, I was completely out of breath and my hands were trembling I’d never been so scared. I never thought it would end like this, I gripped the gun with my hands trembling. I only had three bullets left, I ran over to the armchair and grabbed the box of matches and a few of the leaflets about the island that we got when we first came here. I took out two matches and struck them against the match box then I set light to the leaflets and threw them onto the sofa, just then I heard a knock on the front door, the sofa was alight as I ran up the stairs and the smoke alarm went off. There was dark grey smoke filling the house, I covered my mouth with my top and looked for another way out. There was a window in Dexter’s room that I could fit out of but it was just above the front door. I opened the window put my head out, there were three or four people outside my front door, they were trying to break down the door.
I tried climbing out the window but I felt too faint, the smoke was getting to me already. I blacked out then and there. When I came to I was dizzy, I couldn't quite make out what was going on. They took me to the hospital and put an oxygen mask on me, once the dizziness had subsided I started to realize what had happened and expected that any moment now they would walk in here and kill me or lock me up for what I had done. To be totally honest I was surprised they had bothered saving me from the fire In the first place. I was the one that set it after all, I'm not even too sure why I did, I don't know what I thought would happen it was just an impulse really and quite a bad one.
A few min
utes after realising what had happened a man walked into the room and sat on a chair next to me, he had both his hands pressed together, he was sweating and he looked quite nervous. He started talking, he said: “please God don't let this man die too many people have died throughout the world, please don't let this innocent man die. Armen.” he looked at me as a tear fell from his eye. I told him that I was starting to feel better and asked him if he was the man who had saved me. He said: “Yes, thank God you're feeling better I was really starting to worry.” I said I was feeling a lot better and I sat there wondering if I should ask him about me killing that man after him speaking about the people he had lost but for now I just I asked him what he was doing at my house in the first place he. He replied: “ I saw you running away from that man's body, you looked upset so I followed you to see if you were okay. Don’t worry whoever killed him will be caught, everyone gets what's coming to the in the end”. “I'm sorry for your loss.” In a stern voice I said “The man was my neighbor before all of this and I’d known him and his wife since high-school, he was like my brother.” I’d always been pretty good at lying but I couldn't believe he thought I was his friend before I even spoke to him. He thought that it was brilliant I wasn't caught but that was definitely the riskiest kill I've ever done but it did satisfy my urges for a while. I felt pretty proud of myself for the rest of that day, I had to stay in hospital for the night just so they could check me over to make sure the smoke didn't damage my lungs but apart from that knowing that I wasn't going to die or be punished for murder was the best news I'd had in a long time.
Z Day: Survival of the Fittest Page 5
