by Tanya Stowe
Stunned, Lara grasped her hand. “Christy, you know that’s not true.”
“It is! You don’t know what it’s been like since we moved.”
Taken aback by her vehemence, Lara tried another approach. “A few minutes ago, it didn’t sound like you wanted her around. You were rude, Christy.”
“I can’t help it. She’s making me crazy. She frets over everything and makes things into a big deal.”
“First you’re mad because she won’t be here to fret over you. Then you’re mad because she does. I don’t understand.”
Christy slanted her an angry glance. “I thought you were my friend.”
Lara dropped to her haunches in front of the wheelchair. “I am. But I don’t recognize the person in front of me. The Christy I know would never be rude or unkind. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I hate it here! My only friends are a thousand miles away in New York. They’re having fun and growing up without me. I never see anyone my age and the way I’m going, I never will. And I’m tired of always being in pain and being stuck in this wheelchair.”
“Christy, I don’t get it. It’s warm and beautiful here in Sedona and there’s so much space. With your love of horses, I was sure you’d be riding every day in your own backyard.”
Christy slanted her another angry look. “Don’t you get it? I can’t ride anymore. It hurts. Everything hurts.” Christy spun the wheels of the chair so it turned away from Lara. “I should have known you wouldn’t understand. No one does.”
Her angry outburst hung in the air for a long while before Lara could muster the words to speak. Then she said, in a very quiet voice, “Don’t I? That chair looks very familiar.”
Surprised, Christy looked up.
Lara walked around to the front of the chair and pointed to the arm where her own initials were etched in the metal. “I thought so. It’s the chair my father bought me when I left the hospital. I loaned it to your mother when you were first diagnosed because it was designed for a smaller person. I didn’t need it anymore so I sent it to you.” Lara squatted in front of the sulky girl again. “For a long time, Christy, I didn’t think I’d ever get out of bed. Now look at me.”
The little girl turned her head away. “It’s…it’s different for you. You had hope, something to look forward to. The only thing I have to look forward to is more pain and getting so twisted up I’ll look like an ogre.”
Lara took her hand in a firm grip. “Perhaps. But there can be so much fun first. Horseback riding. Friends. High school and college. All you have to do is use those muscles.”
For the first time, Christy turned to her. “But it hurts, Lara. You don’t know how much it hurts.”
Tears formed in Lara’s eyes. “Yes, I do know, honey. I do. When I first started dancing I had to use a cane.”
A short laugh escaped from Christy. “A ballet dancer with a cane? You must have looked pretty funny.”
“So funny, I wouldn’t let anyone else in the room while I was working.”
Christy’s eyes widened. “I remember. You always locked the door while you were practicing.”
“I looked ridiculous. I fell a lot and most of the time my clothes were soaked with sweat because it was so hard and hurt so much. Sometimes, I couldn’t tell if it was sweat in my eyes or tears. But it was worth it, Christy. You should see what I can do now.” Something jumped inside Lara. “Wait…you can see what I do! I’ve been so excited to show someone, but everyone’s been too busy to watch. You can be the first. Will you watch me?”
A tremulous smile edged at the corners of Christy’s lips. “Sure,” she said with a shrug of one shoulder.
Lara smiled. “Thanks. And wait till you see. I’m so proud of myself, Christy.”
A full-fledged smile spread over Christy’s features. Did she even know it had escaped?
Squeezing the girl’s hand, Lara rose and slid one of Alex’s CDs into the player. She skipped from song to song, trying to find the right one. She really wanted to dance to the driving Flamenco beat that reminded her of a sunset, but it was too fast for the stretch workout she had in mind. She found a slower paced song and closed her eyes, listening to the rhythm, mentally moving through her routine. This one would do.
“Can you give me hand?” she asked Christy. “I need some room to work so I want you to start the song for me.”
“I don’t think I can reach it from my chair.”
Lara had never heard such a lame excuse, and she wasn’t buying it. “Sure you can. Just lock the wheels and slide up.”
Christy raised her eyebrows with a doubtful expression, but wheeled the chair over.
After a few minutes, Lara nodded.
Christy punched the button, and Alex’s music filled the room.
Lara closed her eyes and felt the rhythm. Smooth chords and a soft, pulsating beat flowed over her skin like the wafting of a breeze. She raised her arm in a tall graceful arc above her head and looped the other at her waist. Slowly, she rose to her toes, making the movement with excruciating precision and holding it until her muscles screamed for release. Then she stepped forward, her legs angled, her arms extended, forming perfect graceful arcs.
The music flowed in and around Lara. It lifted her to her toes and pulled her into another world. She envisioned a dark night and brilliant stars sparkling above. Lovers entwined beneath a silver moon, their caresses as soft as the night. And always the gentle touch of the music encouraged her forward.
She lost track of time. All she could feel was her body, swaying to the music, stretching beyond its limits. Her muscles were taut and trembling and still, she bent to the music.
On her toes, arms lifted, she extended her leg in a graceful circle all the way around her body. Slowly, smoothly, she curled it behind her and bent at the waist, arching forward. When she was perfectly poised on one foot, she rose to a point with strength and poise, never breaking her arched back or the smooth straight line of her legs and arms. When she couldn’t stand it a minute more, the music ended.
Christy clapped enthusiastically and then, stronger, firmer hands joined hers.
Lara’s eyes flew open, and she turned to see Alex standing in the doorway.
6
Alex pushed away from the doorway and walked toward her. His larger-than-life presence filled the room.
Lara resisted the urge to step back and managed to stand her ground as he approached.
“I heard my music and couldn’t resist discovering the source,” he said.
“That was your music?” Christy asked in surprise.
Alex paused and turned. “Yes. It was mine.” He extended his hand. “I’m Alejandro Summers, and you are?”
Christy took his hand, but her voice dropped to an almost inaudible sound. “I’m Christy.”
“I’m sorry,” Lara said, smoothly stepping in to cover Christy’s youthful shyness. “I didn’t realize you two hadn’t met. Alex…Alejandro, this is Christy Madrigal, Troy’s and Eliza’s daughter.”
Alex dipped his head in greeting, and then dropped to his haunches, bringing himself to eye level with Christy. “So you liked my music?” he asked.
She gestured to the guitar by the CD player. “My dad bought it for me. Senor Bertoleo’s been teaching me a little. It’s really hard. But you make it sound easy. Your music’s cool.”
Alex’s face lit with a blinding white smile.
Lara almost laughed when Christy’s jaw dropped. Even pre-teen adolescents were susceptible to the man’s charm.
“Cool is not a word people usually use to describe my work.” Alex seemed oblivious to the devastation he was creating. “But I like it very much. Thank you, Miss Madrigal. And I’ve never had the privilege of watching my music put to a ballet. I must thank both of you ladies for an unusual encounter.”
“She was beautiful, wasn’t she?” Christy said, wistfully. “I wish I could do that.”
Seizing her opportunity, Lara said, “You can. All you have to do is start working
your muscles. I’ll help you, Christy. Together we can get you up and moving.”
Christy wouldn’t raise her gaze to meet Lara’s. She gave an abrupt shake of her head. “What’s the point? By the time I learn how to do that, my hands will be twisted and I’ll look like a nerd trying to be graceful.”
Lara wilted.
Above Christy’s head, Alex caught her eye.
“You haven’t told her, have you?”
Lara’s lips parted in puzzlement.
Not waiting for her reply, Alex dropped to his haunches once again. “Lara has learned something very important about dancing, Christy. I’m surprised she hasn’t told you about it.”
Christy looked up, first at Lara then at Alex. When he didn’t continue, curiosity won out. “What?” she asked.
Alex flashed his stunning smile. “Lara has learned that it doesn’t matter what other people think. The only thing that’s important is how it makes her feel. She loves to dance, and so she does it. It doesn’t matter if she looks bad because she doesn’t care how other people see her.”
“But she looks beautiful when she dances.”
“That’s because she stopped caring about how she looked and focused on how dancing makes her feel. Pretty soon, what was going on inside there,” he pointed to Christy’s heart, “started to show. Now she looks as beautiful on the outside as she is on the inside.”
Christy hunched even lower in her chair. “You sound like one of those stupid after school kid’s shows. ‘Brush your teeth three times a day and nothing bad will ever happen to you.’”
Lara caught her breath at Christy’s rude tone, but Alex started to laugh. “You know, the funny thing about those stupid kids’ shows is that they repeat life’s truths, Christy. Smart people pay attention.”
Her gaze shot up. “You think I’m not smart?”
“I wouldn’t waste my time talking to you if I didn’t think you were clever enough to understand.” His honesty was leveling, even for a rebellious pre-teen.
The child ducked her head, looking somewhat embarrassed.
“Maybe that’s why I’m in this chair,” she said in a very small voice. “What’s inside me is showing and it’s not very nice.”
Tears burned Lara’s eyes, but Alex never missed a beat.
“You’re very unhappy, aren’t you, Christy? What would change that…what would make you happy?”
She didn’t hesitate. “Not being sick. I want to be a normal kid again.”
Now the tears pooled in Lara’s eyes and one slid down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away.
But Alex didn’t succumb to Christy’s self-pity. He rose to his feet, shaking his head. “Why in the world would you want to be normal? I’d much rather be special. Unique. I’m happy to make music you call cool. I’d rather be someone like Lara who can hold a ballet pose until people want to clap and cheer. Why would you want to be normal when you could be unique?”
“I don’t have anything special about me,” Christy said, a frown wrinkling her brow.
“You have an illness that makes you unique even without trying,” Alex said.
“Oh yeah, this is special,” Christy snapped back. “I get to spend my day in a wheelchair. Whoopee!”
“It would be special, Christy, if you got out of it.” Alex’s voice was low and firm. “Not many people are strong enough to do that.”
Christy’s gaze jerked up. She stared at Alex, held his unwavering gaze a long while before the belligerent resentment melted out of her body. “It will hurt.” She looked so tiny, and her voice reflected that shrunken size. “A lot.”
“But the reward will be great. Did you see the look on Lara’s face when she finished her dance? I did, and I won’t ever forget it.” Alex turned to Lara. His eyes portrayed pleasure and desire and so much more.
She had to force herself to turn back to Christy.
The child chewed at her lips, indecision written plainly on her face. But at last she spoke again. “Yeah, I’d like to feel like that.”
“Then I’ll make you a promise,” Lara said. “If you’ll work with me two hours every day, I’ll take you riding.”
Christy’s gaze jumped up. “Do you really think I could do it?”
“I guarantee it,” Lara said. “Even if it’s only for half an hour. We’ll find a stable and pick out a horse, and I’ll ride with you. If I have to hold you on myself, you’ll go riding.”
The door opened, and Christy’s nurse walked into the room. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but it’s time for my patient to rest.” She took hold of Christy’s chair.
Lara placed a hand on the arm, holding it still. “Do we have a deal?”
Christy hesitated a moment. She glanced at Lara, and then back at Alex. “Do you think I could do it?”
His smile dazzled. “If I didn’t think so, I wouldn’t have wasted my time talking about it.”
“You know what? I believe you.” She caught her lip again, and then turned to Lara. “We have a deal.”
Pleasure exploded inside Lara, and she grabbed Christy in a hug. “Great. I’ll see you here precisely at nine a.m.”
“I usually do my school work then.”
The nurse spoke up. “I think we can work your studies around some time with Miss Fallon.”
“Great,” Lara said. “I’ll be here at nine. Don’t forget.”
The nurse wheeled Christy out.
Lara turned around and found Alex’s gaze on her. Suddenly, the room felt hot and far too small. She punched the button on the CD player. The music stopped. Lara pulled a towel from her bag. “Thank you for being so patient.” She wiped her face, blotting the moisture from exertion. “Not many people would have put up with Christy’s rudeness to get to the real heart of her.”
Alex took the towel from her hand. Slowly, with his gaze fixed on his work, he stroked the cloth down the long length of her neck. “I could see you cared about her, and that made her someone worth my time.” His murmured words sounded like a song…melodic, soothing, evoking a dangerous depth of emotion. He used his voice like an instrument.
It wrapped around Lara, filling her with joy.
“Besides, it’s obvious she’s a very unhappy little girl who needs a helping hand.” He stroked the towel along her collarbone, leaving a vibrant tingle in its wake.
Lara struggled to suppress the ripples of sensation washing through her. “Is that what you do?” Even she could hear the breathless quality of her voice. “Find women in need and solve their problems for them?”
His eyes widened.
Bare inches apart, they locked gazes.
Flecks of gold and green flickered in the dark brown of his eyes, and suddenly, the tingling inside her turned to a slow burn.
“On the contrary.” Alex dropped the towel and let his fingers flow over her skin like warm sunshine. “I find women who make me happy. Like you. Everything about you pleases me, especially when you danced. My music has never come to life as perfectly as it did with your beautiful body.”
“My body is not beautiful, Alex. I have scars, plates and pins. They had to put me back together piece by piece.”
“Broken glass lies sharp and jagged on the desert floor,” he replied. “When the sun hits it, brilliant colors suddenly appear in the sky. Even though it’s not whole, it makes something beautiful, more so because it comes from something broken.” His fingers skimmed her lips with a light-as-a-feather touch, and he leaned in. He was going to kiss her.
She knew it…knew she had time to stop it. But she didn’t.
“When you watched the sunset, your face held such innocence. I wanted to know who you were and what you were thinking. I still do,” he murmured, and then he pressed his lips to hers.
They were warm, so warm they heated her numb body. Feeling surged through her, raw, primitive feelings. She wanted him, wanted to know his secrets, wanted to know what he could teach her and most of all, she wanted this wild, fierce joy to go on forever.
His fingers t
hreaded through her hair. His other hand grasped her chin, framing her face as he kissed her eyes, her nose, her cheeks.
She moaned as delight swept through her entire body.
At the sound, Alex tucked her into the curve of his arm.
He made her feel beautiful, desirable, as if she were on the verge of a precipice, in danger of falling, and loving it still. She wanted to stay there forever but a warning bell sounded in the back of her mind. “No,” she murmured. Placing her hands against Alex’s chest, she shook her head. “No, I won’t do this.” She pushed free of his embrace and stepped back. “I won’t do this.”
Alex let his arms fall away. He rubbed his chin. “No, I suppose you won’t.” He folded his arms and stood, silent.
Lara’s lips tingled. Her arms ached with emptiness and the answer stood just a few feet away. To keep herself from reaching for him again, she clenched her hands together. “Is that it?”
He shrugged and a half-smile flitted over his lips. “Do you want me to force you?”
“No, of course not. It’s just—the way you say it. As if you knew I wouldn’t allow anything to happen.”
“You would do what’s expected. I know that much about you.”
His words rankled her. “No. You expect I’ll fall into line like the rest of your women. I won’t.”
“The rest of my women?” He shook his head and looked away. “Then why did you let me kiss you, Lara? Why did you let me hold you?”
She couldn’t answer. She searched for words but none came.
“It’s very simple,” he said at last. “You let me kiss you because what you are feeling is real…and real love is magic.”
She gripped her hands tighter, almost angry. “I don’t need magic. I need a real marriage. My parents had that kind of relationship. They lived it every day of my life.”
“Then why would you settle for something less?”
“I’m not settling.”
“I’ve seen you with your intended, and there’s nothing there. Maybe Fraser is a good friend, but that’s it. Love should be magic, Lara. Anything less is second best.”
“I’m not like you,” she exclaimed. “I won’t turn my back on Brett and everything he’s done for me.”
