by Hall, Linsey
No.
I knew what was in our future—she’d seen it herself. I would drink her to death, according to her vision. Though we might not know exactly why, that was enough information for me.
I couldn’t have her.
I could never have her.
It would be easy enough to say that I’d never do the terrible deed, but I’d seen enough to respect magic and fate. The only way to be sure I could control myself was to avoid her as much as possible.
I blinked and turned toward Genara. She could read minds from a distance, but not mine, thank fates. My inner self was locked tight. It had taken years of practice to achieve that protection, but I considered it time well spent.
She could see into my mind if I permitted, and only if she were touching me. Even then, she couldn't see all the way. Rather, her skills helped me unlock memories that were long forgotten.
“There is a place in Guild City with a past that I might know more about.” I explained everything that Carrow had told me and that I had seen, including information about the book. “I believe I know something about it, but that information is beyond my reach.”
Genara nodded, all business now. “Of course. I can help you access it.”
I leaned toward her slightly, and she raised a pale, slender hand. Golden bangles clanked at her wrist, the gems sparkling under the glow of the lamps. Her eyes met mine. “May I?”
“Yes.”
As her hand moved toward my temple, I looked at Carrow. She watched, interested. She seemed to have forgotten her coffee.
Genara’s cool fingertips touched my temple, and I forced back a shudder of distaste. Carrow’s touch I enjoyed…but only hers. Everyone else’s was a burden, even Genara’s.
“Focus on what you want to know,” she murmured.
I felt her magic flow from her fingers into my mind, sparking through my head as her power attempted to unlock my memories. It took all my will not to fling her away. The beast inside me did not appreciate the riskiness of this endeavor. Connection with anyone—particularly connection through the mind—was dangerous.
But I was more powerful than the beast. These days, at least. I forced it to quiet, letting Genara’s magic flow through me as I tried to recall the past that was locked up tight.
Nothing came.
I frowned and tried harder, thinking of everything that Carrow had told me and everything I’d seen. That should have acted as a road map pointing me toward the part of my mind that I’d forgotten. With Genara’s help, I should have been able to unlock it.
But I couldn’t.
Why not?
Carrow set her coffee cup down, her hands twitching as if she wanted to try again now that there was someone who could teach her. The interest in her eyes glowed more keenly.
“Would you like to try?” I asked. “Perhaps Genara can show you.”
Genara’s eyes widened. “And give a possible competitor the drop on me?”
“I would never,” Carrow said. “I’m just interested in learning.”
Genara scoffed. “Hmm.”
“Your power is not working yet,” I said. “I can feel it inside me, but I remember nothing. Perhaps your gift and Carrow’s combined can find what is lost.”
“Fine.” Genara held out her hand for Carrow. “Take my hand.”
Carrow gripped her hand gently, her gaze fixed on me.
“Now touch the Devil’s other temple with the fingertips of your free hand.”
Carrow’s fingers rested gently against the skin of my temple. Heat and comfort surged through me, tempting me to lean into her touch.
I stiffened, unwilling to show any interest or weakness. Their fingertips still rested against my head, and I forced myself to stay still. I hated this, but it was often worth it.
Genara gave Carrow directions, explaining how her magic worked and how Carrow could mimic it. Carrow’s power flowed through me, feeling like pleasure and pain all at once. I should hate it like I hated Genara’s touch, but I didn’t.
I thought of the past, of trying to dredge up the lost memories. The harder I tried, the farther they seemed to recede behind a barrier between me and what I sought.
Carrow gasped and jerked her hand back, her eyes wide. “Something is wrong.”
Irritation and confusion pricked at me. She was right.
I looked at Genara. “What’s going on?”
“I think there’s a block on your memory.” She frowned. “I’ve never seen anything quite like that before.”
“What do you mean, a block? I’ve forgotten something forever?”
“No, not quite. More like a curse, cast by another.”
“I’ve been cursed?” My heartbeat thundered, and I stilled, senses on high alert. My predator senses were unlike my normal human senses, which had been dulled when I’d first been turned. These were something almost unnatural, allowing me to find prey and fellow predators alike.
“Perhaps.” She shrugged. “I don’t know what is happening inside your mind, but I suspect someone doesn’t want you to remember something. That is all I know.”
My jaw tightened, and I stood. “Thank you for your assistance.”
Carrow stood as well, shooting a confused glance between Genara and me. I reached into my pocket, withdrew a golden coin, and laid it on the table. Like many mages, Genara preferred to be paid in the old manner, and I kept a coin on me for such cases.
I turned, Carrow followed, and we wound our way between the tables and down the stairs. We passed through the main part of the coffee shop, and the witches in the book room smiled when they spotted her. They rose, hesitated as their gazes met mine, then sat back down.
Carrow hurried up next to me. “This is very bad, isn’t it?”
“It’s bad.” I stepped out onto the city street and drew in a fresh breath of air, working to calm my mind. The quiet of the garden beckoned, and I strode toward it, finding a spot in the middle that was far from any buildings or prying ears, before I turned to Carrow. “I’ve never been unable to access my memories before.”
She frowned up at me. “Whoever tore those pages out of the book didn’t want anyone to know what they did.”
“And I was the only person who would outlive them, so they had to erase whatever I knew.” Anger tightened my muscles. Having my mind manipulated was an invasion. It made me want to crush something. I clenched my fists, determined to remain outwardly calm. “Who the hell has fucked with my memory? Can you get that information with your gift? Not what Genara taught you, but your gift.”
“By touching you?” She frowned. “I can try, but my gift doesn’t work well on you. The only thing I’ve ever seen is information about us being Cursed Mates.”
“Try. Please.”
She nodded, raising a hand to grip my wrist. Her touch sent heat shooting through me, and I grounded myself with the feeling. Immediately, it calmed some of my helpless rage.
“You feel different,” she said.
“What do you mean?”
“Not as angry.”
“I felt angry?”
She nodded. “Like, your aura. I couldn’t see it on you. You never show emotion like that. Cold as ice, like normal. But you had this…energy.”
“I’m fine now. Don’t worry.”
She scoffed. “Hell, I’d be angry, too, if someone messed with my mind.”
“I’ll find them.”
She nodded and closed her eyes. Her magic flowed through me, lighting me up like a bonfire. I shifted, trying to fight the pull that dragged me toward her. Drawing in a slow breath, I focused on my self-control.
Eventually, she opened her eyes and withdrew her hand. “I can’t get anything.” She scowled. “If I could go touch the wall again, maybe I could get more information from it.”
“No.” I shook my head. “It’s too dangerous. Whoever we’re dealing with was powerful enough to manipulate my mind. I don’t want you going up against them.”
“They might be dead. There’s n
o telling when this happened. Could be hundreds of years ago.”
“Could be. It’s still too dangerous.”
“I’m afraid that’s not your call to make.”
I resisted the growl that had no place in civilized conversation. “More’s the pity. We need to try to find another copy of the book. See what this bastard is hiding.”
“Seraphia said there aren’t any more copies in her library.”
“There could be another copy somewhere else. And if there is, I know someone who would know. Nevaeh Cross, a researcher at the X in Magic Side, Chicago.”
“Is that another magical town?”
“It’s Chicago’s version of Guild City, or the Grassmarket neighborhood in Edinburgh. Hidden from human eyes but visible to supernaturals.”
“Let’s go to her.”
“I’ll contact her and tell her what we’re looking for. It could take her a bit of time to find what we seek.”
She opened her mouth to argue, but her mobile buzzed. She pulled it from her pocket and silently read the text before meeting my gaze. “Looks like Eve is making some progress with Mac and Seraphia. They’re stable.”
“Go check on them.” The sun glowed orange behind her as it sank toward the horizon. “It’s nearly night. Get some rest. I’ll let you know when Ms. Cross has a lead.”
She nodded. “Be careful.”
The hint of concern in her voice warmed me, though I knew such weakness on my part was dangerous. “I will. I’ll update you no later than tomorrow morning.”
She nodded, then turned and left. I stared hungrily after her. Foolish, perhaps, but I couldn’t help myself.
6
Carrow
My mind spun with all that I’d learned as I headed through the winding passages of Guild City. Old cast-iron streetlamps flickered to life, throwing a golden glow on the shop windows that jostled with magic and life.
Bars were filling up—happy hour was a thing, even in the magical world—and cheerful supernaturals passed me in groups as they headed toward their usual haunts.
This was all still new to me. Normally, I’d spend time exploring as I walked, peering in shop windows and daydreaming about my life in Guild City, but my thoughts were on Mac and Seraphia.
I reached Eve’s place in record time, panting, my skin lightly dampened with sweat. I pushed open the door and stepped inside. The main shop was empty, but Eve’s voice echoed from the back room. “Who is it?”
“Carrow.”
“Come on back.”
I hurried through the shop, passing shelves of tiny vials and jars of potion. Eve relegated her dangerous potions to the back room, where she did a lot of her work.
It was chaos.
Every surface was covered with the tools of her trade: small cauldrons, knives, a mortar and pestle, along with jars and bowls of ingredients. The fae’s hair was bright pink. A few days ago, it had been purple and white. The raven that followed her everywhere sat high on a shelf, observing the situation below.
Mac and Seraphia stood nearby. They looked better than when I’d last seen them. Their color was back, and their eyes were brighter.
“How are you feeling?” I hurried toward them, carefully inspecting their faces for any signs of distress.
“Fine now.” Mac grinned to reassure me, and Seraphia mimicked her smile.
Worry and guilt streaked through me. Why were they cursed if I wasn’t?
“I don’t buy it.” I turned to Eve. “How are they?”
“Fine for the moment.” Concern flickered in her eyes. “I got a few clues from the cursed book, enough to make a potion to hold off the effects, but I wasn’t able to cure them.”
“Not yet,” Mac said. “You’ll figure it out.”
“Grey is looking for another copy,” I told them. “Maybe if we figure out what history was erased, we’ll learn more about the curse.”
Eve’s brows rose. “Grey, is it?”
I shrugged. I hadn’t yet confessed that I’d started calling him by his first name, but Eve didn’t stick on the question.
“But that’s good,” she said. “If we can find out who cast the curse, then it’ll be easier to cure. Different supernaturals have different abilities, and it will narrow down our search if we know what the culprit was capable of.”
“We’re going to be fine,” Mac said. “You’re the best there is.”
“But I haven’t found an antidote yet,” Eve said. “Hell, we don’t even know what’s going to happen to you.”
“But you whipped up something to hold off the effects, so we’re good.” Mac squeezed her hand. “We’ve got this, don’t worry.”
I looked between Mac and Eve, worry streaking through me. Mac was putting on a brave face, but this was bad.
Seraphia met my gaze. “How did it go with the Devil? What did you learn besides the fact that he’ll seek another copy of A Most Elucidating History of Guild City?”
I explained about his memory and our hopes to unlock it.
“I like that plan,” Mac said.
“He said he’ll meet you tomorrow morning?” Seraphia asked.
“Yes. His friend will hopefully have a copy of the book by then.”
“Good,” Eve said, “because these two need to rest. I don’t want them getting too tired or weak. It could give the curse a better foothold on them.”
I nodded. “Let’s head up to my place. We’ll get some food, rest, and come up with a game plan. There’s probably something we’re missing.”
Mac grinned. “Like a girls’ night!”
“A girls’ night with a goal,” I said. “And an early bedtime.”
“Of course. But I like this plan.” She looked at Seraphia. “Will you come?”
“Me?”
“Yeah, you, silly. We need to go over all the facts again. But more importantly, you’re cool, and you should come hang out with us.”
Seraphia smiled. “Okay.”
“Let’s do my flat,” I suggested.
“I’m going to leave everything like it is and lock up,” Eve said. “I can clean this mess tomorrow.”
“Good plan,” I said, and shepherded the others toward the front.
It took her less than half a minute to finish her stuff and grab her keys. I got the history book, and we headed out of her shop, Eve and Seraphia in the lead.
I hung back with Mac. “Are you really okay?”
“Yeah.” She nudged me with her shoulder. “Don’t worry so much.”
“And Seraphia?”
“She’s fine, too.”
“She seems a bit lonely.” I thought back to her eyes. “Not sure why. Just something about her.”
“She keeps to herself, mostly. In our world, you tend not to poke when someone does that. You never know what they’re hiding.”
“But you trust her?”
“Yeah. I think she’s got a bad past, but I trust her. And no one should be lonely.”
“You like to collect strays.”
“Strays?”
“Yeah.” I grinned and pointed to myself. “Like me. Now Seraphia.”
Mac shrugged. “What can I say? There aren’t really any stray cats in town, and you’re the next best thing.”
I laughed, and the four of us headed up to my place, taking the stairs two at a time.
When we passed Mac’s door, she paused. “Do you have wine?”
I scoffed. “Do I have wine? Only the finest adult juice boxes in all the land.”
Mac laughed. “Those little single-serving boxes?”
“The very same. If you’re lucky, I’ll give you a straw.”
Her brows rose, interest gleaming in her eyes. “Fantastic. I’ll get some crisps.”
“If Cordelia hasn’t eaten them all.”
“Fingers crossed.” She darted into her place.
“Thanks.”
Eve and Seraphia reached my door first. “Let yourself in,” I said, gesturing. “It’s unlocked.”
“You
should lock it,” Seraphia said. “This place isn’t as safe as it seems.”
I frowned at her. She wasn’t wrong, but the way she said it…
She shifted and looked away, then followed Eve into the flat.
Yeah, Seraphia had a tricky past, all right. But it was none of my business unless she wanted to share, so I put it aside.
“Make yourself at home.” I gestured to the couches. “How do you feel about kebabs?”
“Fantastic,” Eve said.
Seraphia nodded. “Love them.”
I went to the window and set the history book on the little table. I grabbed the paper menu from the restaurant below us, then picked up a pen and pad of paper. I handed the goods off to Eve and Seraphia. “Jot down what you want.”
I already knew my order by heart…and Cordelia’s. I no sooner placed an order with the restaurant than Cordelia appeared, no matter where she was in the city. I swore she could hear the scratching of the pen.
Mac appeared at the door. “Ooh, good idea,” she said, spotting the menu and pad of paper. “Get me a Donner Kebab, please.”
“No problem.”
Orders completed, I placed the paper in the bucket by the window and lowered it by the attached rope. Leaning out, I watched Berat, the restaurant owner, grab the bucket.
“Mission complete,” I said, pulling my head from the window.
“That’s a handy system,” Seraphia said.
I grinned. “All Mac’s idea. She came up with it.”
Mac tore open the bag of crisps. “I’m a genius, what can I say?”
“There are bowls in the kitchen,” I said. “Freshly washed, even.”
Mac disappeared into the kitchen as Cordelia appeared on the windowsill, her little nose twitching. Kebabs?
“Yes, Cordelia.”
Excellent. She trundled over to the couch and climbed up to sit between Eve and Seraphia. They must have met earlier, when Cordelia had delivered the book to Eve, because Seraphia took it in stride.
“I can’t find them,” Mac called.
I joined her in the kitchen and fished the bowls out of the tiny cupboard, pointing with my elbow at the little fridge. “There’s some wine in there, if you want to grab it.”
“Do I? It would be pure barbarism to have a girls’ night without wine, even one that’s aimed at solving an ancient deadly mystery and will involve—unfortunately—no drunken antics.”
