DEPRAVED

by J, Bella

  “Dutch!” I called out, needing her gone. She couldn’t be here. Not now.

  “Granite!” she yelled with fire in her eyes. “Tell me what the hell is going on.”

  “Don’t, Alyx. This does not concern you.”

  “Does not concern me? I heard you say if you don’t take me home, someone is going to kill Neon. What the fuck is going on?” Uncertainty, fear, and determination turned her intensely blue eyes almost colorless. This had turned into such a huge shit-show, there was no use in denying anything, or trying to cover up shit.

  “Tell me,” she pleaded, and I knew I was in a corner. With Ink quickly losing his mind, and Dutch staring at me like I was keeping the cure to cancer all for myself, I had no way out of this.

  “The Pythons. They have Neon.” The words sliced up my throat.

  “Who are the Pythons?”

  “A rival gang.”

  Alyx placed her palm on her forehead, and I knew she was trying to make sense of information overload. “Why…why would they take Neon?”

  I glanced across the garage to where Dutch stood. With a slight nod, he urged me to tell the truth, and my gut burned like the flames of hell had just ignited inside me.

  “They’re forcing my hand,” I answered simply, wiping my palms down my face.

  “What are they forcing you to do?”

  I clasped my fists together, legs bobbing up and down. “To take you back home.”

  “Then take me back. Let me go home so he can let Neon go.” She spoke the words like it was the simplest solution ever. But it wasn’t.

  I shook my head, unable to speak.

  “What? Why are you shaking your head? Take me home so they can let Neon go.”

  “It’s not that simple.”

  “It sounds pretty fucking simple to me.”

  I straightened. “Well, it’s not.”

  “Why?” Her eyes searched my face, desperate for answers I couldn’t give her right now. “Why is it not that simple?’

  My heart raced, and the walls around me seemed to close in. I looked over at Dutch, then to Ink, before looking at Alyx. “I’m not taking you home, Alyx. I can’t. Not now.”

  She recoiled, her eyes narrowed and lips parted. “Are you telling me that you’re such a selfish bastard that you won’t let me go, even if it means saving Neon’s life?”

  The way her lips curled, her eyes cold and flat, and eyebrows pinching together as she stared at me, I knew she felt nothing but disgust at that moment. And even though it killed me to see her look at me that way, this wasn’t a fucking popularity contest. This was war, and every war had its casualties.

  “Dutch,” I called, “escort Miss Green back to her room.”

  She shook her head with panic. “Granite, don’t do this. You can save Neon’s life.”

  Dutch grabbed her elbow, and she tried to yank free, but he pulled both her arms behind her back, gripping her in place. I hated that he had his hands on her in such a way, constraining her, hurting her while she fought so desperately to free herself. But she had to leave.

  “Granite, stop, please. Don’t—” She froze, her face pale as she glanced down. “Oh, my God,” she whispered. “Oh, my God, is that…is that Neon?”

  The phone Ink dropped earlier was laying by her feet, the image of Neon suspended in the air by a giant hook through her skin still on it.

  Instantly, her blue eyes were filled with tears and a million questions as she looked up at me. “Jesus, Granite. What are they doing to her?”

  I grabbed the phone off the floor, and Alyx started to thrash against Dutch’s hold. “Granite! They’re killing her. Stop them, please!” Tears ran down her cheeks like a river of pain, and it killed me. It fucking shredded me from the inside out.

  “Granite, please help her! Let me go, and help her.” Alyx kept screaming, pleading, begging with every tear she shed, and it gutted me four ways.

  “Take her back to her room, Dutch.”

  “No! No!” she yelled, kicking and screaming while she wept what could have been tears of blood. “Don’t do this, Granite. God, please don’t do this. Let me go home.”

  “Take her!” My voice boomed through the garage. I couldn’t fucking take it anymore. Her cries were breaking every bone, slicing through every inch of my flesh.

  Alyx screamed. She didn’t stop. The sound only grew softer as Dutch dragged her back to her room.

  Rage possessed me, like a thousand demons eager to rip every living creature apart. Slither was making me choose. He was forcing me to choose between the girl who was like family to me—to us—and the girl I’d waited years for.

  The Pythons forked us, and we were fucked no matter which move we chose to make.

  From a distance, I heard Onyx’s and Manic’s voices. Ink was telling them what just happened, filling them in on how Slither fingered us all. When I turned to face them, it was evident on everyone’s faces that all of us understood the gravity of the situation. Apart from being the object of my obsession for so long, Alyx was also the only weapon we had to win this war.

  There was no way in hell we could have let her go.

  * * *

  Alyx

  I had lost sense of time. There was no way of telling whether it had been an hour already or not. All I could do was pray that there was still time. Maybe Granite could still save her. Maybe it wasn’t over yet. God, I hoped it wasn’t over yet.

  I’d been pacing, trying to get that image of Neon out of my head. Covered in blood, hanging from the ceiling with a hook pierced through her back, she looked like a dead animal at a slaughterhouse. It was the most horrific thing I’d ever seen, and it was something I’d never be able to un-see. No matter how all this ended, I’d never be able to forget what I saw, and I couldn’t imagine the horror she had to have gone through. The agony. The pain. Oh, God, the pain.

  The thought of Neon being tortured, ending up murdered because of me, was tearing at my flesh with the sharp claws of guilt. How did I go from being a simple ballerina to a woman carrying the life of another human being on her shoulders? I knew it wasn’t up to me. I knew this wasn’t my fault, and that ultimately Granite was the one who held the power in the palm of his hand. But I still felt it. I still felt the blood of blame coat my own hands. If Granite didn’t save her by giving me up, he’d be sentencing me to a hell far worse than the one ruled by the devil himself.

  Granite had to save her. He just had to. The only way she could be saved was for Granite to give me up. It wasn’t like he had to exchange my life for hers. They weren’t demanding a trade that would have me end up in their hands. They just wanted Granite to send me home. That was it. In my head, it was a no-brainer. But not for Granite, it seemed.

  The way his face hardened when I begged him to let me go, to save Neon, scared me. It terrified me to witness how easily he could switch off his humanity without even fucking blinking. From the start, I knew ice ran through his veins. He was the president of the American Street Kings, the cruel, fearless leader. But he was also the guardian. The protector. Neon was the one who told me that, who convinced me of that.

  Who the fuck was he protecting now? He’d rather keep me for himself than save Neon’s life? It was unfathomable for me to even try to understand his reasoning behind it.

  The turn of the lock had me rushing to the door, my pulse racing at a million beats per second. Granite walked inside with a somber look on his face, yet his shoulders were squared with confidence, like a man determined to do what needed to be done. A man who never showed weakness. Never. And then it hit me, the realization almost knocking me off my feet. If Granite had to give in to the demands of a rival club, he’d be showing weakness—something a man like him didn’t know how to do. Something a man like him would never do.

  “You’re not taking the trade, are you?” My voice quivered.

  His lips were pulled in a straight line, lips I’d felt on mine. Lips that were warm and seductive. Lips that had the power to make me surrender ever
ything I had. My soul. My body. My innocence. Yet here he was, and I knew those same lips were about to sentence me to a life where I’d forever regret how easily I succumbed, ultimately selling my soul to the devil.

  With nothing but an icy stare, he confirmed my worst fear. I shook my head. “No.”

  He kept on staring at me, vacant and resolute. A hardened man with nothing but a black hole where his heart should be.

  Swallowing the threatening tears, I studied him, trying to find a sliver of hope in the depths of his eyes. “Granite, tell me you didn’t—”

  “I’m not going to say I’m sorry, Alyx.”

  There was a bitter taste in my mouth as I watched him, my chest heavy as it tried to keep my heart from shattering. “You can’t do this.”

  “It’s already done.”

  “No. No.” I stumbled back. “You can’t be serious?”

  He didn’t move an inch. “There’s nothing I could do.” His voice lacked emotion, no trace of regret or compassion.

  I narrowed my eyes in disbelief. “You can’t tell me I’m that fucking important that you would rather let those savages tear Neon apart than give me up.”

  “You have no idea what I would do for you, Alyx.”

  “Then save her. Please, Granite. Save her.” Desperate and desolate, I moved closer, ready to go on my knees if I needed to. “Please, just save Neon. Please, Granite. I beg you.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck before sitting down on the chair. “It’s not that simple.”

  “It is that simple. God, Granite. We’re talking about Neon, here. She’s not just some random person, she’s a part of your family. Tell me you’re not that cruel.”

  He pulled his palm down his face, and I was sure I heard him curse under his breath.

  In a last attempt to force him to flip his humanity switch back on, I fell on my knees in front of him, wiping tears from my eyes before placing my hands on his legs. “I beg you, Granite. I beg you with everything I have in me. Please help her. Please. Help. Neon.” The words could hardly make their way through my sobs as I choked on my own voice. “I’ll do anything. I’ll do anything you ask, just don’t let them hurt Neon any more than they already have. Please.”

  He took my hand in his, his palm hard and rough against my skin, yet warm. Eyes which had lost their radiance, their color fading to nothing but black stared at me, and I knew no matter how much I pleaded, how hard I begged, it wouldn’t change a thing.

  “It’s too late, Alyx. It’s done.”

  I jerked my hand from his, tears slipping down my cheeks as I stood back up. “You son of a bitch.”

  He brushed his palm down his beard, his gaze leaving mine for a second. “There are things you don’t understand, Alyx.”

  “Oh, I understand.” My stomach clenched. “I understand that a life holds no value to you.”

  “It’s not that simple.”

  “You keep on fucking saying that! But from where I’m standing, it couldn’t be simpler.” The heartache was starting to claw at my spine, pulling my soul apart, and I wanted to scream so I could get rid of the agony.

  He snorted. “You know nothing, Alyx. You might think you do, but you don’t. You’re no longer in the perfect little world you grew up in.”

  I scowled at him, my glare as deadly as my heart was cold. “You’ve made it pretty fucking clear that I’m in your world now, where you rule. A world where you make and break, kill and destroy as you see fit. A world where you take what you want, even if it means ruining others.”

  Granite stood, not saying a word. Like a giant brick wall, he was cold, hard, and not even the life of others could make him tear down the confines of the ruthless leader he was. I couldn’t decide whether the expression on his face was wistful or indifferent. I prayed to God it wasn’t the latter. A man with indifference in his heart was more dangerous than a man consumed with hate.

  I turned and walked to the other side of the room, needing more distance from him. Even though deep down I already knew the answer to the question which had been burning on my tongue ever since he walked in, I had to hear him say it.

  Rubbing my hands up and down my arms, I took a deep breath. “She’s already dead, isn’t she?”

  Silence. Cold, hard, deafening silence that carved a hole in my chest with unspoken truth.

  Tears rolled freely down my face, the stillness between us tearing my soul apart slowly…little by little. “Is she dead, Granite?” I wanted him to say it.

  “Yes,” he answered softly.

  “How do you know?”

  I heard him inhale. “We found her body.”

  An agonizing sob ripped from my body, cracking my chest wide open. I cried. I cried for her. I cried for me. I cried for every innocent life these monsters had ruined. It was a kind of pain I had never felt before, like every bone in my body had been fractured, and it cost me tear after tear after tear. I couldn’t even fucking breathe right. It hurt too much, knowing another human being had been tortured to death because of me—because of a man’s sick obsession with a ballerina girl.

  Shudders wracked through me with ripples of sorrow, and I struggled to get enough air so I could speak. “She was the only one who has been kind to me ever since this nightmare started.”

  “There’s nothing we could do.”

  “Liar!”

  “You’re hurt. I understand that.”

  “Do you?” I spun around to face him. “Do you really? Because when I look at you now, all I see is a man without a fucking heart. A man driven by his own selfish needs who doesn’t give a fuck who he hurts in order to get what he wants.” I spat out the words like they were coals burning the inside of my mouth.

  He roughed a hand through his hair, his face nothing but stone. “Like I said, I won’t say I’m sorry.”

  “Even if you did, it wouldn’t make a difference. I’ll never forgive you for this, Granite.” I moved closer. “Do you hear me? I will never forgive you. From now on, every fucking time I look at you, I’ll see her face. I’ll see her tortured body covered in blood and hanging from a motherfucking ceiling like a slaughtered pig.” Pure, undiluted hate dripped from my mouth with every word. “Do you understand that, Granite? I. Will. Never. Forgive you.”

  For a fleeting moment, the hard lines on his face softened. But only for a moment before he pulled on the mask he wore so well. The mask of the devil.

  “Well, then,” he turned his back on me, hand on the doorknob, “we’ll have the rest of our lives for me to change that.”

  With those words, he walked out, leaving me alone with nothing but a heart that had been cut open, crushed, and mutilated. Contempt flowed through my broken soul, filling the cracks with a heaviness I’d never be able to get rid of. This was the moment I realized that my life would never be the same, forever tainted and ruined by blood and metal.

  The slam of the door and the loud click of the lock sealed my fate, a mere echo of what would be nothing more than a sad existence. Granite was never letting me go. Never.

  I was his obsession…and not even death would be able to change that.

  To be continued in…

  Defiant

  An American Street Kings Novel Book #2

  Alyx

  Infatuation is a dangerous thing.

  It devours you. Manipulates you. Owns you.

  You can try to ignore it, try to move past it. But it’s more powerful than you. It won’t let go.

  The day I first saw him, infatuation dug its claws into my soul. I couldn’t stop it. Everything faded. Except him.

  My infatuation blinded me. Made me see what it wanted me to see. Now I’m lost within the lie. Caged by the beast.

  In the end, he will have me.

  Until then…I fight.

  OTHER NOVELS by BELLA J

  The Twisted Duet

  Blood and Lies (Twisted Duet, Book 1)

  Blood and Vows (Twisted Duet, Book 2)

  The Royal Mafia Series

  Mafia Pr
incess (Royal Mafia, Book 1)

  Mafia Prince (Royal Mafia, Book 2)

  Mafia King (Royal Mafia, Book 3)

  Mafia Queen (Royal Mafia, Book 4)

  The Shattered Secrets Duet

  Regret (Shattered Secrets, Book 1)

  Torment (Shattered Secrets, Book 2)

  The Resplendence Series

  Ruin (Resplendence, Book 1)

  Rush (Resplendence, Book 2)

  Rage (Resplendence, Book 3)

  About the Author

  All the way from Cape Town, South Africa, Bella J lives for the days when she's able to retreat to her writer's cave where she can get lost in her little pretend world of romance, love, and insanely hot bad boys.

  Bella J is a Hybrid Author with both Self-Published and Traditional Published work. Even though her novels range from drama, to comedy, to suspense, it's the dark, twisted side of romance she loves the most.

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