by Rissa Brahm
What would Jin Park do?
And what would I do?
“Ma…wait.” Jana stopped Jin from going too far down the hallway. An answer had come to Jana, a solution for whatever occurrence, one that would keep Jana within her own boundaries, her newly-drawn lines. Jana dug into her purse and withdrew from it a glossy, sharp-edged business card. “Take this. Call the number,” she explained, handing the card to Jin. “Ask for Joe P. Tell him you’re Winter’s mother and that you need to discuss a personal bankruptcy having to do with uninsured medical. Did you hear me, Ma? ‘Joe P., Winter’s mother, bankruptcy.’ Understand?”
Her mom looked ill, bottom lip quivering. “Jana, I don’t know how—”
“Yes, Mom, you do. You can. I know you can, and…you don’t really have a choice at this point, because I’m done. I can’t give anymore, Ma. I know you love me, so you will call.”
Her mother stared at the card, fresh teardrops forming in the woman’s eyes. Jana hugged her mother then, and held her tight. “Be strong, Ma. Be strong.”
Jin only whimpered and sniffled in response.
Jana loosened her grasp. “Go now. Be with dad.”
Jin nodded and turned with a reluctance Jana had never seen in her mother. As her mother took one heavy step forward, Jin’s phone rang. Her mother was so out of it, the woman didn’t even register where it was coming from.
That goddamn phone. Fourth time tonight while it should’ve been muted or powered-off in the first place, per all the posted hospital signs. Jana shook her head, wanting nothing more than to send the stupid device flying to its death in the hospital parking lot like she’d done to her own phone.
Especially knowing who was calling.
Especially knowing he was calling.
She tried hard to bury the growl forming in her chest. “I got it, Ma.” Jana pulled the phone from Jin’s purse. “You go to Dad.” With the gentlest nudge, she pushed her mother in the direction of her father’s room, then looked down at her hand. Down at the ringing, vibrating phone.
And instead of silencing it, Jana accepted the call.
*
“What the fuck do you want, Dane? Because if you really wanted to know how he was doing, if you gave a damn about anyone but yourself, you’d be here,” she said in a way-too-loud voice for a hospital unit or a prison wing for that matter.
The desk nurse, who’d already been glaring at her because of the phone’s disruptive presence in the first place, now rushed over and ushered Jana back out to the waiting area.
“Jana? Is that you? It’s me, Alexa.”
“Oh, God. Alexa….” And through the heavy unit door that was closing behind her, she watched her mother disappear into her dad’s room.
“How are things?”
How the hell do you think they are? “They are what they are, Alexa. I don’t really know what to say. He’s on the brink…but the real question is, why isn’t Dane calling himself? Why isn’t he here, Alexa?”
“He’s meeting some big clients tonight from out of town, so he has me on duty to follow what’s happening.”
“On duty, huh? To see what’s happening?” He went to a business meeting with their father on his deathbed? Jesus Christ. Because big clients were of course more important.
Wait.
“Sorry, did you say clients?”
“Yeah, between the boom of the new business and the twins on the way in a few months, things have been crazy. And your parents made him promise to stay put and said that you’d handle things. You’re a real trooper, Jana, honestly.”
She felt her heart in her chest squeeze then release, squeeze then release, high-speed and slow-motion at the same time. It keeps getting better. She could feel the hot anger broil within her. Blinding, deafening anger.
“Jana?”
“Yeah, sorry. I’m here. So”—she swallowed back the new knot of disgust––“things are good with you guys?”
“Well, other than the distress surrounding your father’s hospitalization, yes, you could say that. The business has been growing by leaps and bounds, and we’re moving next week into a new house that’s closer to the downtown office. We needed a larger place for when the twins come anyway, so it all worked out.”
Jana saw it all then.
That greedy bastard.
And her parents? Jana will handle it? Of course. Stay put? But why? Wouldn’t her father want to see his beloved son before the lights went out? Or did Chang and Jin really think this wasn’t the ‘real deal,’ the possible, even probable end-of-the-line for her father?
Jana wanted to vomit.
Insane. All of it.
“Alexa…I’m not sure you understand. I mean, I don’t know how much Dane or my folks have told you, you know, about…how bad things are and how much I’ve had to—” Then she paused.
She took a long full breath.
What did any of it matter? She’d already made her decision to be done.
In fact, this knowledge made it that much easier to wash her hands of them. Besides the pro bono legal route Jana had handed her mother, she now knew that Jin, and her father if he survived, had another avenue to take. For funds, they could go to her brother. He was not broke. He was filthy, stinking rich.
“Never mind, Alexa. Congrats on everything, the twins, your new home. I wish you the best. I’ll have my mom call you in the morning to update you, okay?”
“Thanks, Jana. Please give your parents our love. And take care of yourself. Bye now.” And the eye-opening call ended with Alexa’s words echoing in her awe-struck brain. Take care of yourself.
She sank into a hard plastic chair in the barren waiting room.
God, she wished Antonio was with her.
Antonio.
Jesus, what had she done?
So her brother was no longer a poor, money-grubbing prick, but rather a well-off penny-pinching prick. It didn’t matter what Dane’s financial statement said, he was still a heartless devil while Antonio, no longer the lowly chauffeur, but the well-off entrepreneur, had bled his bank account for her and for her crazy family. His noble, selfless and insane act wasn’t to control her, it was a genuine gesture. It was love-in-action, love incarnate, and it melted her heart, her heart that beat for him. Only for him.
She had to go to him. She hoped to God he hadn’t written her off for being so prideful, so hurtful, so damn blind!
*
She got reception to call her a cab and then grabbed a pad from the clerk to write her mother a note: Had to run. Will be back asap.
She was bringing the man she loved back with her.
Then she asked for a paperclip and pulled out from her purse the photo of her as a small girl sitting on the lap of her mother’s strong and adoring father, Jana’s abuelo. She put the note with the photo and inserted both into her mother’s flip phone.
“Please do make sure Jin Park gets her cell phone. She’s with Chang Park in the ICU.”
CHAPTER 55
Antonio wasn’t at his house. She had knocked twenty times in case he was asleep. Where the hell was he then?
She hopped back into the cab just before it left and pulled out Antonio’s business card. Pointing to it, she said, “Please, take me here instead?”
Only a few minutes down was the depot for A.R. Limousine Service.
“Thanks and keep the change,” she said, handing the cabbie more than a twenty percent tip from the way-too-huge amount of cash she still had in her purse, which she hugged tightly to her chest.
She approached the tens of limo drivers all gathered around, smoking and shooting the shit in front of one of the many large bays of the enormous garage.
“Excuse me? Can you tell me where to find Antonio Ruiz?”
One of the men pointed to a row of offices on the far side of the massive depot. Only one of the offices was lit. “Boss Man’s that way.”
She thanked him and walked straight back past the fleet of about thirty-five black stretch limos and two stretch SUVs
. More were probably out and about she guessed. She couldn’t believe he handled this level of operation and drove full-time himself. But, actually, yes she could.
Jana was only fifty feet from Antonio’s office when his office door flew open. And a scantily dressed woman came out, pulled her little dress down at her thighs, screamed, “Fuck you!” then slammed the door behind her.
Jocelyn Carlson, no doubt. The woman’s face had been sprawled all over the tabloids for months.
The woman stormed past Jana, pausing for a split second to look her up and down, and oh God, the woman’s assuredly expensive scent made Jana nauseated. Then the great Ms. Carlson huffed out of the garage to the driver’s side of a bright yellow coupe.
Oh, poor thing. The woman had to drive herself? Jana laughed. Apparently no limo service would drive the wretched woman.
Just before vanishing into her vehicle, the other woman gave Jana the middle finger, so classy, and Jana, on instinct, smiled wide then blew the other woman a big fat kiss.
*
Already supremely emotional, her day having been made up of one hell after the next, it felt good, in contrast, to laugh. And God, that woman was laughable. Whatever Antonio said to Ms. Carlson to bring her to the next level of fury, it made Jana feel even better.
But what would bring Jana to the brink of ultimate satisfaction was to have Antonio’s arms wrapped tight around her.
She watched him through his office window. His head in his hands, elbows on his immaculate desk. She knocked on the glass window of the door.
“I already told you, Ms. Carlson, to get off my premises, or I’ll—”
“You’ll what?” Jana said in her most seductive voice as she opened the door a crack.
Antonio lifted his eyes, then his head, which tilted just slightly while the right side of his mouth curled. And his eyes softened to match a sigh that she took to be relief. He waved her in and stood up.
“God, I’m glad you’re here. Your dad?” he asked, moving toward her, arms extended, obviously ready to pull her into him.
But Jana slammed into his arms before any answer came. She hugged him hard and tight, like a reunion from being forever apart.
“I know why you did it, even though I hate that you did it when I asked you not to. Thank you, Antonio. For loving me.”
*
He pulled her onto his lap and held her. After the day from hell, this was sheer heaven, his princess in his tight embrace, her breath in synch with his own. He knew though they should get out of there, to a less peopled place. Neither of them needed any more visitors, not Jocelyn Carlson, not anyone.
But he let a few more minutes drift by, as she seemed to need the tranquil stillness for a little longer.
“So my father, we’re not sure what will be…” she whispered, answering his question from minutes ago. “But he and I made our peace.”
“I’m so relieved you got to talk to him,” he said stroking her thick silken hair down her back. “It still haunts me, not having told my mother all I’d wanted to before she…passed.”
Jana looked up at him and into him, injecting him with her empathy, her compassion.
“She took her own life.” His words left him on an out-breath, his heart rattling his rib cage. “I was, am still so…angry with her. She left us, just gave up. Robbed us of the most wonderful person.” He choked back emotion and grabbed a deep, clearing breath. “I wish you could’ve met her, Jana. And, oh God, how she would have adored you.”
“I’d love to hear all about her, Antonio. I’m sure she was amazing.”
“She was. But Jana, you…you blow my mind. Just when I thought there was no more goodness in the world, you appear.”
He kissed her lips lightly, then pulled away, hearing his drivers laughing and hollering, causing a ruckus. Probably carrying on about the most recent Jocelyn Carlson episode.
He shook his head. “Hey, let’s get outta here. I think we both need some air, some peace, and maybe even some goddamn levity for Christ’s sakes!”
“Yes, sir,” she agreed with a sharp nod. “Maybe we can go for a drive?”
They got up and moved out of his office. “Sure, we can drive anywhere you’d like, mi amore.”
*
A few steps outside his office, she felt a rush of excitement and heat. We can drive anywhere. His words hit her. Freedom. She’d finally pulled open the dark curtain she’d been living behind, unveiling a sweet and bright future. A life with Antonio. It seemed like a dream.
From an uncontrollable urge to share this weightlessness with him, she looked up at Antonio and threw her arms up to his neck. Antonio took her hips in his grasp and lifted her high above his head. Then, bringing her down to his face, he kissed her madly.
Whooping cheers, whistles, and applause broke their kiss, and Jana felt her cheeks turn bright red. Antonio laughed out loud.
He nodded to his crew. “Show’s over. Get going, boys. Go home!”
The drivers dispersed and he returned his attention to Jana, holding her close, her feet still dangling as he swung her from side to side, her cheek pressed to his.
She whispered, “I drew my line with my folks, I’m done with the club, and now I’m done with them. I’m free! I’m free to be happy, and I’m happiest with you, Antonio.”
He slowly let her down, her body sliding down his strong, protective torso, and when her feet touched the ground, he held her face in his hands. “Without being condescending, princess, I’m so damn proud of you.”
She smiled as he moved to kiss her again. His lips pressed against hers, then he took her hand and started leading her across to the next bay where she saw his limo parked.
“You know,” he said, “my family’s going to eat you up alive. They’re going to love you, and you’ll know what real family is, maybe too much real family!” He laughed.
Pausing his stride, he turned to her. “You deserve the world, Jana Park, and if you come back with me…to meet them and to live…God, you will, we will have such a wonderful life. Will you? Will you come with me, officially? I know the prestigious hospitals and doctors aren’t there, but—”
She stopped his words with two fingers to his lips. “Yes, Antonio. I’ll go with you. Wherever you go, I’ll go.”
She replaced her fingers with her lips. An all-confirming kiss which told him yes, what she wanted first, foremost and always was a life with this man.
He pulled away from her reluctantly. “Wait, are you sure? Your ER, your friends here, your city-life….”
“I am sure. My friend, singular, Luly…she’ll visit us, or I will visit her. And the ER, Manhattan…screw the prestige, the superficial facade!” God that felt really liberating. “I can make a difference in Mexico, the same as I could here. Maybe even more so, right? Bringing my level of training and experience to people who really need it. Yes, I want that life. I want that life with you, Antonio. I do. I know for certain, I do.”
She laughed. She had no idea what this feeling was, this lightness. She’d never dared to imagine it for herself, not before Antonio.
He squeezed her hand in his. There was a glow in his eyes that matched the grace that had devoured her heart. No question, wherever she was, if it was with him, she was home, and she was loved.
*
He loved her radiating glow, her excitement. But the next instant, her expression flickered then morphed to a soft surrendered lull. “So, where to? You choose.”
He didn’t blame her for not wanting to pick their destination. God, she’d had more critical decisions to make in this one day––hell, in one lifetime––than was even fair for someone so young, and so damn good. A lifetime of insane obligations and expectations and burdens.
But all that was over now. He was with her. Always with her.
“Well, I thought we’d head up toward Fort Lee.”
Disappointment wiped over her face in a flash.
He lifted her chin with a soft touch. “Not to the hospital, at least not firs
t thing.” He smiled at her with an absolutely intentional glint of something naughty in his eyes. “But then I kinda think we should head to the hospital. Shouldn’t put it off. You can officially introduce me to your folks and then say your goodbyes?”
“Goodbyes?” she said as if thinking out loud, a happy wonder floating in her voice.
He smiled and nodded, waggling his eyebrows, brimming with his news. “Listen, I got a bid on the business today, it’s as good as sold. We might be able to leave in a matter of days, Jana. I even get to keep my vehicle as part of the deal. We can take turns driving down. We’d make it to Vallarta by the end of the month unless we stop along the way…and we can if you want to. Whatever you’ve been hoping to see. New Orleans, maybe?”
She cocked her head, excitement and a dash of worry in her eyes. “Antonio…there’s something you need to know about me.”
“You were a stripper, princess. Do I need to sit down for this?”
She punched his shoulder lightly and issued a playful warning look. “It’s just…I don’t drive,” she said, her brows lifted as if expecting his tremendous disappointment.
“What do you mean you don’t drive? You let your license expire?” he asked, chin notched to the side, waiting to hear the catch.
“I never learned…to drive. I never needed to. I’ve never even been behind the wheel of a car, well, except for the bumper cars at a carnival when I was ten.”
He broke out laughing and took her right hand. He turned her palm up, slapped the keys in it, and ushered her to the driver’s seat of his vehicle. “Any woman of mine had better know how to drive a damn car.” He smirked playfully. “Lessons start now.”
