He put his luggage in his bedroom, and came out to hear knocking on the ceiling, Ms Earthaleen.
Ben went to the back door, opened it and went up the stairs a bit to lean in sight so she could see him, "Yes Ms Earthaleen?!" He called out to her. Her back door came open, "Who down there?" She asked.
"Just me ma'am, Ben, Jake's son."
"Can't see you, come so I can see you." She ordered.
He went up the stairs more, in the beam of her kitchen light, "See me now?"
"'Course I can, ain't blind! What you doin' here, ain't your daddy getting married today? Ms Lydia and Mr Lucas heading there for they wedding, 'spose to got there yesterday." She informed him.
"They did ma'am, made it safe and sound, and my dad got married today, beautiful ceremony."
"Married that Vivian? That real black gal?"
Ben sighed, "Yes ma'am, he married Vivian, she's my step-mother now."
"Em hm, I guess so, can't believe he did it, but then, times changed. Use to be a day, white man wouldn't be marrying no black woman, just drive by her house at night, honking his horn for her to come out, sneak off to do they business, then bring'ha back. Daylight come, he see'ha on the street, act like he don't know'ha! That's how thangs used to be."
"Not anymore ma'am, not anymore." Ben pointed out. Once more, he faced that knowledge thing, that ugly fact of black and white life - and all the ugly taboos with it. "It's been a long day, gonna get back down stairs now."
"Ah'ight then, you hungry?" She asked.
"No ma'am, thank you for the offer, I'm fine."
"Ah'ight then..." She backed up and closed her door.
Ben turned around and made his way back into the basement, closing the door behind him, locking it, he went back to the counter, stared at the beer a moment, and took it up for a second long draw from it. Already, he was feeling the effects of it. He leaned with both hands pressed to the counter, thinking about her, the way she looked that day. Didn't really matter what she wore, from one moment to the next, she was always beautiful.
Would always be beautiful in his eyes - no matter what.
He picked up the bottle, took a few more drinks, capped it and put it in the refrigerator, he could already feel it moving through him, but it wasn't relaxing him the way he wanted it to, it was rousing him, or maybe, thoughts of her was the cause of it rousing him. He went to his bedroom, picked up his laptop and walked it back to the kitchen table, taking it out and hooking it up.
He sat before it a few minutes, waiting for it to boot up, once it had, he opened his email, and began an email to Crystal.
He sat for the longest, trying to think of what to say, something that hadn't already been said between them. He must have sat and stared at the screen for almost a half an hour, before he realized he'd sat in a lost trance all that time.
"Why me, why me God?" He was buzzing from the beer, scooted his seat back and walked into the livingroom and turned the TV on, to have some background noise as he paced and let his mind wonder over all the things he could say to her, wondering which of the words would make a difference? He couldn't think. In the bathroom, he stripped down and got in the shower, and took a long one, the water spray against his skin, made him feel better, but it also stimulated him, he got out with a bit of an erection, because no matter where he went, what he did, she was on his mind.
Drying himself off, he put on clean underwear, and stepped into his jeans, and sat on the bed, putting on one of his more comfortable shirts, slumped, feeling dejected, his mind in too many directions as he slowly buttoned it up. In the buzzing of his chaotic mind, he sat straighter realizing someone was knocking at the outside door. He listened, and then wondered were they knocking up stairs, but it sounded like the door to the basement apartment. He walked towards the front, opened the inside door to the short vestibule and realized someone was knocking on that door.
"Who the heck?" They didn't know anyone in Chicago that would be at his door this time in the evening, using his deepest, intimidating voice, he asked rather sharply, "Who is it?!"
"Ben!? It's me - Crystal - Ben it's Crystal."
He stood a moment more thinking the beer really had gone to his head in a vicious way, he walked to it and looked out of the window down at her, sure enough, it was Crystal - in Chicago, almost dark, as it appeared, alone. He snatched the door open, looking at her. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to see you." She was breathing funny, a bit of a panicked look on her face.
"With who? You alone?"
"Yes."
"Get in here, what are you doing here alone!?" He growled at her, "What time is it? It's getting dark out, are you nuts!"
"It's still early Ben, only 8:30." She informed him, looking at him, her eyes devouring him in the bright vestibule light.
"You shouldn't be here, alone, this time in the evening, in Chicago - you tell anyone you were coming here, and what the hell are you doing here anyway?!" He felt disgruntled, unsettled and edgy with her there, now was not a good time for her to be with him, not with all the things going through him, especially after drinking - it was the wrong combination for her to arrive in the middle of.
"I came to see you Ben, talk to you. I wanted to talk to you at the reception, but you never showed up." She spoke gently to him, in a supplicant manner, that showed what she was feeling for him. It was having a strange effect on him, he wasn't letting her in, keeping them there in the vestibule as if he was afraid to let her in. He wasn't saying much either, as if he was trying to think of what to do with her. "Ben?"
"You shouldn't be here, you know you shouldn't be here! I don't know why you came!" He bit out, worried about their predicament.
"Are you leaving Ben, is that true? Going to California? Huh?" She pleaded, trying to look into his face, into his eyes, but he kept turning away from her, as if the sight of her did something to him.
"Fuck! Why did you come here! Huh? Why the hell do you think I came here! To get the fuck away from you! That's why!"
Crystal's eyes flooded, "Don't be mean Ben, I drove all this way to see you, to talk to you."
"What are we gonna talk about? Huh? Tell me what the fuck are we gonna say to each other, that we haven't already said? I lost! He won! He got you! What - are you doing here?"
Crystal gulped, trying to swallow the lump in her throat, "I love you Ben, I love you so much."
"Yeah, that's why you went back to him, right? Because you love me? Bullshit! I'm nothing for you, but some push-over-of-a-schmuck who falls at your fuckin' feet, the minute you bat those damn eyes of yours! Fuck that, I'm done with that, okay? I'm not some fuckin' spineless whimp - with no pride, I have my fuckin' pride, you understand? You walk all over me Crystal, all over my - goddamn heart, you've fucked me up man, got my head all fucked up - do you care?"
Tears rolled watching him, "All I know, is - that I love you Ben, God knows I do - you know I do Ben..."
"Bullshit! Bullshit! How the fuck am I gonna get you back home? Huh? I'm gonna have to call dad and tell'im, you're here, somebody's gonna have to come for you."
"No! No you're not! I'm not some little girl,-..."
"Yes you are!" He yelled at her, finally looking into her face, glaring into her eyes, his own filled with tears, "...you're a little girl, trapped in a woman's body, who gives a FUCK - about everyone out there, but ME!" He pounded his own chest, as his tears rolled, "YOU DON'T GIVE A FUCK - ABOUT ME - YOU NEVER HAVE - YOU NEVER - WILL!" He continued to beat his chest, punctuating every word.
She stood biting into her bottom lip, whimpering, crying - the sight of it, tearing him up inside, because he wanted to stop those tears from falling.
"You're doing it again! See - that's what you do! Right there, fuckin' right there! Stop crying, you hear me? Stop it now, it's not gonna work!"
"I love you Ben..." She squeaked out past her tight throat.
Ben stood his full height before her, breathing hard, trying to get control of himself, "You gotta go, for
real man, time to go."
"No!"
"Yeah! Now, right now, go back to your daddy, back to Shawn - back to Vic-tor - bastard!"
Again she shook her head, "No Ben, no - I don't want you to leave me." She walked up to him, closing the space between them.
"Don't do that, really - I mean it, don't - just - back up - okay?"
Her hands reached out for him, to touch his shirt, and then closer, to press them palm flat to his chest; she closed her eyes, she could feel his heart beating, and stepped closer to him still, "Please Ben ... please - don't turn me away."
"I'm not - in the mood - for this - Crystal - I'm done - with being - Mr. Niceguy, Mr. - always in - control - I mean it - stop it, really..." She was up close to him, her forehead into his neck, against where his pulse was beating rapidly, she rubbed her nose against his chest, his skin, inhaling his wonderfully clean scent, his skin smelled wonderful.
Ben couldn't breathe
He couldn't push her away
He couldn't touch her
He couldn't move
Then she wrapped her arms around him, bringing her body flesh tight with his own, "Ben... I love you Ben..."
Tears rolled from his eyes, down his cheeks, off of his chin, one dropped onto her cheek, she reached up and stroked it, and then those off of his chin. He couldn't hold back any more, he grabbed her arms with a tight grip, "Tell me no, tell me no, right now..."
"I can't... I can't..." She whispered turning her face up for him to look into her eyes, "I cannot - this night, tell you no." She tried to stand on her tip toes to reach his lips, when his came down on hers with such force, it took her breath away. He grabbed her head holding it prisoner as he devoured her mouth, sucking the air from her body, he kissed her so hard, he started shaking, forcing himself away, "One last chance... tell me ... no, tell me..." He pleaded.
Instead what he got, was her arms going up around his shoulders, pulling him down to her. He ravaged her mouth again, his entire body and soul into the kiss - he felt stretched tight, so hard, he might shatter any more and picked her up from the floor, pressing her against the door, as he moaned in agony what it was doing to him, turning, he fell back against the door, she wrapped her legs around him, holding on, kissing him back with all that she felt. Burning through her clothes was the heat of his hand on her buttocks, palming it, squeezing it.
He was breathing deep and hard into her mouth, "I can't - stop now - I can't..." He walked with her into the apartment, leaned back onto the door, she slid back to the floor. Backing away from him, she slipped off her shoes, staring him right in the eyes, turned and made her way to the bathroom, before she went in, she spoke low saying, "Make sure you lock the door."
She'd gone into the bathroom to check herself, just in case - she felt so wet, she feared it might be her period - it wasn't - it was all him, what he made her feel - she gave one fleeting thought to the child she felt she must be carrying and knew, nothing could make her stop this now, not even that. When she came out, he was standing at the bedroom door waiting, gazing into her eyes, "If you're gonna go, now is the time to do it - now is the time to stop it, to tell me no."
Their eyes held, she gave a slight smile, "I love you Ben, I love you..." She walked by him, under his arm into the bedroom unfastening her pants as she went. Ben turned into the door closing it behind him, shucking off his shirt, and then his pants, as he watched her step out of hers, she turned to him. He was there, right there, picking her up once more as he kissed her, lifting her off of the floor, their lips meshed, rolled and locked on, with his tongue being the first to enter once more, while one hand pushed her panties down her legs as he laid her on the bed.
Crystal kicked them the rest of the way off.
His hands were all over her, under her shirt, massaging her breasts through her bra, until his hand moved behind her and unfastened it, pushing her shirt up he latched onto one of her taut nipples, making her cry out, "Oh - oh Ben, please love me, love me please, I need you so bad, so bad, Ben." She moaned, thrashing about in delirium.
His mouth was all over the place it would seem at once, first all over her breasts, then down her body, her lower stomach and then parting her thighs he had to taste her, he wanted the scent of her all over his body, all over his face, as his tongue whirled and twirled in and out of her, around her tender clitoris until she was panting out of control, "Oooooooooh, oooooooh Ben, Ben.... ooooooooh shit - oooooooh shit Ben, Aih - yeah, oh god..." She panted and rolled her hips in a desperate, jerking frenzy, feeding him more of her inflamed, swollen heat as he licked and laved her out of control, holding her thighs apart, pressing and jabbing his tongue until she was screaming from her climax.
Both of them forgetting about the neighbor upstairs.
Ben tongued her the entire time she came, making her scream even more, struggling to endure the feeling, he was unwilling to let her go, unwilling to stop, for fear he may never get the chance again, when he finally pulled away from her, he leaned back and flipped her to her stomach, the whole time, Crystal whimpered, panting, screeching and mewing from the heightened sensitivity. He was kissing the entire surface of her buttocks, rubbing and squeezing her there as if he could devour her and then bit her on the cheek, making her cry out from the shock of it, "Ben..."
"I could eat you alive, I swear to God I could Crystal Bella, I swear I could," He panted, kissing up her back, he turned her over again. He was so hard, so heavy, throbbing so painfully he had to enter her, "My God, I love you so much, I swear to God, I love you so much," He panted, getting between her thighs, he reached for his enormous length, guiding the engorged head to her wet center, "Look at me, look at me..." He growled at her, Crystal looked up at him, "This is my - fuckin' dick going into you - mine! I want you to feel it baby, feel that?" He asked.
Her eyes like to have come out of her head with the size of him pushing into her body, she was being stretched so it was making her heart slam in her chest; "Ben..." She gasped his name.
"That's right, Ben - Ben... me, going where only I should be, dammit only me!" He grinded his teeth and pushed all the way home.
"OH! OH MY GOD! Ben! Oh Ben, oooooh-weeee wait - please wait just a minute..." She pleaded, she could barely move from being so full. He tried to stop, but the urge to move could not be curbed, he started rocking, pulling out, pushing forward, fighting to control it, fighting to watch what he did with her, but his entire body was driven to drive deep, and before he knew it, he began pumping in small controlled jerky movements, because she was moving around below him, trying to find a way to make it fit, shifting her legs, up and then down, "Ben, oh, Ben... you're ... you're big - you're really big, I mean really big, ai-i-ih, oooooh shit, oh god..."
"Crystal, baby ... Crystal... it's feeling so good, oh so good baby, I gotta, I gotta..." He couldn't stop himself, he began rolling his groin back and forth against her, the muscles in his buttocks, flexing and tightening with each push of his length going all the way in her while Crystal kept moving to accommodate him until he tightened up all over, his entire body got hard and heavy over her, his big hands cupping the top of her head to keep her in place as he began stroking harder and faster, his body tensing and focusing on one area alone, firing his load, Crystal squealed and squeaked with every thrust of his turgid head hitting the very end of her womb.
He was breathing hard and fast as his body pumped hard and fast, "I love you, godalmighty I love you so much Crystal, don't leave me, please don't leave me - don't - leave me..." He pleaded as he pounded into her.
Crystal could do nothing but hold on and as crazy as it seemed, she climaxed again, drenching his length once more with her juices right before he stiffened, crying out as he poured every single bit of his essence into her. They came together, both of their bodies shocking and traumatizing every nerve ending within until it gradually subsided.
Tears poured from Crystal's eyes, because it was finally hitting home, what she'd done, but if she had the choice again, the outcome
would be the same. Ben's breathing was returning to normal, and she still held him on top of her. He started kissing her face, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I love you, I've never known love like this before, not ever. I'll do whatever you want me to, I will Crystal - say it, I'll do it."
"Don't go to California, please stay here, please."
"Okay, I'll stay, I'll start getting as many jobs as I can, we'll get married and I'll get us a place, a nice place-..."
"Huh?"
"A place for us, so we can be together now."
One thing he knew about Crystal, was that she had very expressive eyes, you could almost read all you wanted to know in her eyes, like - right then. Ben gazed into them, and then, moved off of her, to the side. He stared, as her eyes told him even more, "Right Crystal, we're - getting our own place, right? You, me, the boys - I mean, of course, Victor is welcome to come, see them when he wants-..."
She covered his mouth with her fingers, stopping his words.
His eyes grew wide, he snatched her hand away, "You're leaving him, right - right?!"
She swallowed deep, unable to speak.
"What was this? Tell me, what was this?!" He demanded.
The words were trapped in her throat, she could only swallow in fear, in misery.
He leapt from the bed, snatching his pants on, in hurried movements, fastening them and then went and leaned on the bed, glaring at her, "Tell me - right now - what - was - this!?"
"I don't want you to go." She finally said.
"Wait... so you thought, by going to bed with me, I would stay? Was that your plan?"
"There was no plan! I just couldn't stand it any longer!" She finally mustered the air to say.
"Are you gonna leave him, yes or no?" He demanded.
Right then, if things were different, she would leave Victor in a heartbeat, but they weren't different, she was pregnant again by him, there was no way she would even consider putting that on Ben, no way.
"WELL!" He shouted in her face.
"I can't!" She cried, "I can't leave him Ben."
"Bullshit! After this? You would still go back to him?"
BOMAW 12-14 Page 36
