"You think I'm hallucinating? Hearing things?" She challenged.
Jake threw his hands up, "Fine, I'm staying out of it, I've got funk to rinse off, so-..."
"You sure do." Vivian agreed, cutting him off.
He turned to her, "To make sure I do a good job, you can wash my back." And led the way up stairs.
"Guess I bes' do the same, I'll wash my own back thank you." Gert grinned heading up the stairs as well, her room had a bathroom of it's own, reason she chose it.
Paul stood in the kitchen a few moments alone, in the quiet, and slowly made his way out to the side porch, looking out over the yard. He would be off to school soon, his schedule had arrived, he had his dorm room and everything was set in place. He would be setting off in a few days, his car was ready to roll. Between his father, grandfather and Vivian, it was restored to like new. Right now, it was simply a matter of waiting to leave and whether his father liked it or not, he was leaving a day early.
He was going to see Jackie.
So on the way out, he would swing by his moms to say goodbye, not that he didn't see her weekly, but he had to say his goodbyes and then - Jackie. There was no way he could head off to school without making at least one last attempt to see her, let her know where he would be - but then, she already knew. Writing her, he gave her all of his contact information in case she needed him. She knew where his mother lived, knew where his father lived, and this was with numbers as well. Yet, with all of that information, he hadn't heard anything from her. While he was lonely for her, missed her, he would not take on the role of the broken hearted - he'd known it wasn't going to be easy once his mind had been made up. He wasn't about to start feeling sorry for himself, besides - he wasn't that kind of person thanks to his mother. It was quite possible that he had her outlook on life - and that was, accept the things you cannot change and keep living - move on - don't suffer under that broken-heart nonsense because everyone knows what they're doing when they make a decision, you can't blame the other side of it if things don't go as you planned them. His mother had always faced life's challenges with the optimism that tomorrow is another day - you have to get there inorder to see what tomorrow brings, so get some sleep. His mother Jackie did not lose any sleep over anything that most would consider a problem to lose sleep over - being raised under that mentality had equipped him well and for that, he was thankful.
Even so, he was going to the woman he considered his, Jackie - and standing there looking out over his father's gardens, he decided he would leave tomorrow to do just that.
Upstairs...
Vivian stood leaning back against the bathroom sink vanity, arms crossed listening to her husband talk to her over the shower spray. She'd brought in his underwear and socks, while laying out a fresh towel to dry off. So there was no confusion on which towels he could use, she'd gotten into the habit of laying everything out for him, all accept his clothes that is. If they were going out, he still saw to picking out his clothing himself and since she liked his taste and how he dressed, there was no sense in going there.
"I can't believe he hasn't called here yet, or come here for that matter." He was saying from in the shower.
"Maybe he doesn't know where she went."
"He would still call looking - while you might not know this about my dad, he's possessive."
"Really? You're kidding? Why I can't imagine such a thing." She oozed with sarcasm.
"Oh you're funny you are! And uh, by the way... what do you know?" He asked, turning off the water.
"Me? What'a'yah mean, what do I know?"
Opening the shower door, he stepped out grabbing the towel she handed him, "Just what I said, you know something, I know you do."
"Man you need to stop talking crazy." She denied at the same time searching her mind for a time when she might have slipped up and said something, as far back as she could remember, she hadn't.
Drying off and looking her in the eyes, he made his case, "Look, don't forget, while Shawn and Derrick were off with dad, I had to be with mom, Shanna and Kathy-Ann. I know the look, I know the gestures, they used to do it all the time - a subject came up that they knew something about, they fidgeted and looked towards the ceiling, started chewing on the inside of their mouth hoping to get through the dicussion without spilling the beans. I know the look, the 'I know something, but I can't tell.' look. You, my wife, had that look today when I started questioning mom... so spill it."
"Yeah, I know you have lost your mind, I don't give a, 'Look', I-..."
"Yes you do! You give a look,-..."
"No I don't!"
"Yes - you do. In fact, you turn your head rapidly to the left and start parting the hair at your nape, eyes rolling all around, you almost start whistling... yeah, you give a look."
Vivian stood with her mouth partially open, trying to think back at herself when his mother was explaining what she was, and to her horror, she recalled possibly doing exactly that and so wondered how long had she been doing that? Sad to say, the wonder, surprise and realization all showed on her face as well.
Jake started laughing.
Her eyes went back to him, "I do not do that!" She denied, after all - she couldn't give up the ghost and tell him what she knew, that would open up a can of worms she wanted no part of.
Still laughing, he nodded, "Yeah, you do and you know you do. And you know something that you're trying to keep a hold of, yeah - the way you and Shanna are? Child of Sheila, oh yeah, you've got the goods, you gonna spill it or not?"
"Not!" She did a head rotation and turned from him heading for the door, "Because there is nothing to spill!"
"That's okay, run wifey, run... but you cannot hide from me! I'll find you, and I'll find out what you're hiding too, you hear me?!" He called behind her, she was heading for the door, trying to escape him.
"I hear nothing! Better get dressed." And out the door she rushed.
On the other side of it, she stopped to catch her breath. 'Oh Shanna, why'd you have to tell me about your mom and that man?!' Her mind anguished, she knew Jake, he would not let it drop, he would keep on until he knew something. She took a deep breath and said a little prayer, "Lord, keep me out of it, please." Just then the phone starting ringing, she rushed down the hall to answer it in her day room, "Hello?"
"It's me Shanna, I'm making-..."
"Your mother's here!" Vivian cut her off to blurt.
"Oh yeah, what's up?"
"She's - left - your - father." He announched in a strong whisper.
"What'a'yah mean, she's left my father?" Shanna sensed the serious in her tone.
"Suitcases! Taken one of our best rooms and is living here."
"What? She say why?"
"She said, she explained some things to your dad about Mama Jojo. Afterwards, he refused to go to dinner, they argued, she said he told her to go, she went - came here. Jake wanted to know what's what, she told only enough to wet his appetite and he's asking me questions saying I know something."
"You can't tell him what I told you!" Shanna jumped in immediately to say.
"I knoooow, don't you think I know that? Oh Shanna I wish you hadn't told me, he's never gonna leave me alone about it!"
"Deny, deny, deny - you don't know nuttin' - that's your story and you're stickin' to it!"
Vivian groaned into the phone, "Now I know why people say that ignorance is bliss."
"I'm gonna have to call and check on dad."
"Yes, do that. Oh, first why'd you call?"
"Nevermind that, I'll pick up something from the store when I go by to check on dad, see you later."
"See'ya!"
At the farm house...
"Dad... where are you?" Shanna called out heading for his favorite place, the barn. Walking in she didn't see him in the front part and so headed towards the back, "Dad???" She slid the large divider over on it's tracks to see him fiddling with some oily dirty part to his truck.
"I'm not going, your mother could have saved you the
trip here."
"Mom didn't send me." She spoke up walking to his work bench.
"What you wantin' then?"
"See if you're all right. I don't know what you two were fighting about that made you tell momma to get out, but-..."
He looked over at her with his craggy brows drawn, "Get out? I never said no such'a'thing, she say that?"
"Well, not in so many words, Vivian called me worried. They don't mind momma living with them, but I don't like the idea of you being here alone."
"Gertrude's got her own home! No need in goin' livin' elsewhere and spreadin' our business about - what'd she say?"
"She packed up daddy, took stuff with her to live with Jake and Vivian." Shanna informed him.
"Over my dead body! She'll not shift this to make me look bad! No sir, have the world thinkin' I'm the villain, danged your momma's wicked black soul!" He slapped his oily rag on the bench turning to head out the barn.
"Wait a minute daddy, what are you talking about?"
"Shanna, do me a favor, go see to your own affairs, like working on hitching up with that Royce fella you been shackin' with." He pointed out for her.
"Huh?! What's this got to do with Royce and I?"
"Nothin'! Just like you got nothin' to do with me and my wife's affairs, go - don't need no damn attendin' yet, I still got enough man left to see 'bout my own business!" He grumped on the way into the house.
"Daddy I swear, there are times when you are downright ungrateful! You're turning into a grump old man!" She shouted, he slammed the kitchen door.
Sighing, Shanna turned and marched back to her vehicle, climbing in, she headed for the store, where she would pick up a family pack of buffalo wings - everyone liked them. Driving off, she also decided that she would stay out of her parents business since they never seemed to appreciate anything their children did for them.
Chapter 308
They were back from shopping, which had worn Mama Jojo out, she had gone straight away to her room, with all of her things in bags waiting for her to go through with Sylvia's help to put them away, but first a nap. The girls had run excitedly to Angela's room, they couldn't wait to dig into their bags, turn the TV on, turn their music on, and continue to chatter on about this school year coming up and who liked who. Considering they'd spent almost the entire summer together, it would seem there should be nothing more to talk about, but they'd been going non-stop with no ending in sight.
Sylvia was tired as well, would love to take a nap, but she had things to get ready even though everyone would be bringing something to contribute so it wouldn't all rest on her. Truth to be told, she wasn't in the mood for company at all, she'd been fighting tears all day and was scared of them bursting free at any moment; her back was hurting, her hips and joints were aching, she'd sat on a bench in the mall and struggled to stand again because it felt as if her hips had locked on her. That - almost brought her to tears from embarrassment. Thanks to Angela and her bodyguard Ivory she was able to slowly work her hips so that she could finally stand, after that, she'd been ready to go and Mama Jojo was more than agreeable.
All except for the faint sound of the girl's music - there wasn't much else going on in the house right then. She entered the kitchen, opened the door to the refrigerator looking in to get her mind on what she needed to do and right then, it happened, the dam burst - tears flooded her eyes and poured down her cheeks and despite it, she tried to keep going. Loading her arms up with bacon, hot dogs, cheese and biscuits, hoping that the stream of emotions would pass and of course right then, Shawn entered the house - returning from his quick run, to see her in tears.
"Hey? What happened?" He asked, surprised, immediately concerned.
Sylvia dropped everything on the counter, turned and headed off in a hurry for their bedroom. She didn't want to talk to him, because what she wanted to know he wouldn't be telling her so what was the use in trying? She just wanted to get passed it so she could get her appetizers prepared. But that wasn't going to happen. Now, with Shawn's prescence, her crying worsened until she was almost hysterical with him charging into their room behind her.
"What is going on? Sylvia, stop running from me dammit!" He charged up behind her, catching her before she made it to their bathroom, "Oh no you don't! Hold it right here." He demanded, grabbing hold of her, turning her to him, "Please don't make it worse, leave - leave me alone - please!"
"No way, you know I'm not going to, what happened, what-..."
"Yes, good question Shawn... what-what happened? You in too deep? Changed your mind? Grown tired of me and just can't say it? Huh? Huh? Well say it, tell me the truth! You meet someone else? You-you having an affair? Tell me! Because it's one or the other - or - or all of it! But don't lie and say nothing is wro-wrong - because it is, you don't-don't love me the same, admit it!" She sobbed, wiping at her tears over and over.
Shawn stood looking at the mess he was making, what else was she to think, he was letting this Armundo Sr. obsession get the best of him and it was wrecking his wife, his pregnant wife.
"Babeee, noooo - there is - nor will ever be, another woman for me. Having an affair? You really think I'd do that to you?" He started slowly backing up towards their bed, dragging her with him.
"You-you did it to-to Deidre, and you did it to-to that-that stewardess chick with me, you haven't been the same in - in a while and I just want you to-to know - I can make it on my own, with this baby just fine, so-so don't feel obligated just because - because you rushed us and-and knocked me up - I can still - take-take care of myself - but-but I will not-not live a lie, I will not-not be where I'm-I'm not want-wanted."
The back of his legs encountered the bed, he sat, pulling his weeping wife closer as she sniffed, wiping at her tears. He reached to the bedside table for the Kleenex, pulling a few free and passing them to her. Sylvia took them, turned away while standing between his knees and blew her nose, wiping it.
"Turn back, look at me." He asked gently, his hands cupping her hips, tightening her blouse around her protruding tummy because he positively loved nothing more than looking at her swollen belly. With watery eyes, she turned back to gaze into his, they were filled with apology.
"We are not - living a lie. What we share, is real, and solid, and lasting - God as my witness He knows what I say is true."
She started crying again, "Then what's wrong Shawn, please tell me?" She pleaded, more tears rolled and dropped off of her chin, "You act like you're-you're angry with me-me sometimes, as if - if I've done something wrong?"
He could not tell her the truth, he simply couldn't do it, and as much as he hated doing it, he was going to have to tell her a bold-face lie, to explain himself.
"I - you ... while sleeping you - a couple of times, said his name." He turned red, couldn't fight off the blush because it was such a monstrous lie, but the alternative was out of the question as far as he was concerned.
"Whose name?" She asked still sniffling, wiping at her eyes.
"Armundo's."
She stood with her mouth partially open in disbelief. Of course if she did call out his name, being asleep, she wouldn't know if she had or not, but she couldn't remember thinking of him lately, nor had she been dreaming of him, unsure of what to say, she hesitated and then, "When? I don't remember ever-..."
"You were sleeping, and - well - it pissed me off. I didn't say anything but then it happened again." He explained looking away from her because he felt like such a jerk telling her such a bogus lie.
"Shawn... I don't know what to say? He's dead Shawn, he's dead. I hardly ever think of him and when I do, if I do, they are not good thoughts, not at all."
He looked back at her, and used this to question her more, "But, when he died, you were growing close to him again - I mean, if he weren't dead and he just showed up one day, would you consider taking him back?"
"Shawn, that is the craziest thing I've ever heard you say? He's not going to show up one day, he's dead."
"Answer the que
stion, IF - if if if if if - would you consider taking him back?"
Sylvia stood staring into her husband's face still lost in disbelief and here she'd been afraid he'd fallen for someone else and all this time, he was walking around jealous of a ghost!
"Shawn, if Armundo came walking up today, tomorrow, next week, next year or two years from now and you and I were at each other's throats deciding we couldn't make it together anymore - I wouldn't - take him back! I would not! I - I was never really in love with him Shawn - not real love. But I tried, and then I was trapped, and then I couldn't get out and then when I could, the kids were older - he'd calmed down some and I thought, this is my life - this is where I'm gonna be, so I might as well give it a go now. But now... after all this time, having lived freely without him - I could never go back that way again, not ever - even if you and I didn't make it, I couldn't go back that way again, no - way."
He could tell she meant it, he could see it in her eyes.
She cupped his face with her palms, "You on the other hand... I do love - I am in love with you. Even though you rushed me, and got me pregnant... I - I really didn't have to marry you, I could have put my foot down - I didn't, because I'm in love with you." She sniffed and gave a sad smile.
Shawn pulled her into him and turning he laid her on the bed to lean over her, "I really can't live without you Sylvia, everything I do - I do for you - for us - for our children. Don't ever think I'd turn to someone else, I can't even see another woman as a man does now that I have you. All I want is you baby, just you, our family - this..." He palm rest lovingly on her rounded stomach, "...what I have now... God as my witness, I'll fight to the death to keep it and I mean that, I'm not willing to let anyone come in our midst to try and take it away, no way! Woman or man!"
She reached up caressing his skin, "No one will Shawn, no one can. So stop being so consumed with Armundo's ghost - and I'm sorry for saying his name, but - I don't know why I would have, unless I was having a bad dream." She leaned up and kissed his lips, pulling him down close to her, "Okay? Believe me?"
BOMAW 12-14 Page 43
