by Zi'ere
43
Not even two minutes ago, I was ready to go ham on the only man that I’ve ever loved. Now somebody is telling me that he’s been shot.
Gavin has been shot and it is bad!
Stymy’s words constantly replay in my head.
My baby could possibly grow up never knowing his or her father. As a matter of fact, there are six kids at risk of being fatherless. I feel like I’m moving in slow motion. I’m not focused on anything going on around me. I pick up my keys and purse from the bench by the door, which leads into the garage.
‘You’ve got to change your routines Kamille, you will be a lot safer that way.’
Gavin’s words travel through my ears as a warning. Instead of going for one of the two usual cars that belong to me, I decide to drive the Range Rover that he just purchased instead. Once I make it out of the subdivision and onto the city street, I can’t remember if I have closed the garage door behind me or not.
I’m not even sure if I locked any of the doors at all. In this very moment, it doesn’t even matter if a thief has his way with all of my belongings. If the one and only thing that I want and need most in life is gone, then my life is over anyway.
I drive with one hand on the steering wheel, while I rub my flat belly with the other. I don’t know how I make it to the hospital in such a haze. It is only when I see all of the black cars with even darker tinted windows that I began to panic.
Every person that’s associated with Pain and his extended family business drives black cars. Doesn’t matter what kind of car it is, it’s at the hospital today. Some men are hanging around the emergency room waiting area. They jump up and help me to get to where I need to be. When I turn the corner into the intensive care unit, I am not prepared for what I see. A lump forms in my throat. The situation is really bad.
A few workers are here and they are all standing in, soaking with blood clothing. I recognize these men to be lieutenants in Pain’s squad. The wives and girlfriends are all here as well. There is not a dry eye to be seen. Sanye runs up to me and holds me in a bear hug. Once my presence is known, the atmosphere changes.
My heart feels like it is going to drop into my stomach. Christina pries Sanye off of me. Everyone else gives me the greetings worthy of the boss’s wife entering into the room. Dana joins her sister’s side, as they guide me into a corner.
Everyone has looks of pure panic and utter confusion. Whatever has happened, Pain’s crew has not gone down without a fight. They look as if they’ve been fighting a war in a Middle Eastern country.
“What happened?” I need the absolute truth.
I know that Dana will give it to me.
“It was a home invasion and robbery. Stymy said three men walked Cease into the house using his body as a shield. The crew gave up everything that they had at first. But in the midst of a tussle with Pain, one of the dude’s mask was pulled off his face.
Pain recognized the dude and called him out by name. The boys knew that they were dead if Pain lived, so they tried their best to kill him. The neighbors said it sounded as it was a wild-wild west gun fight in that house.”
“Can you please get to the part about Pain? Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong with him?” The tears that I have been holding on to begin to drop.
The thought that she is stalling to tell me that my love is gone makes me sick to my stomach.
“It’s your job to know about each of Pain’s soldiers first. Tiffani would know that but instead we have somebody else, who doesn’t know a damn thing about our families!” Tracey shouts from inside of the waiting area.
“Whoa, hold up- hold up. You’re out of line, out of boundaries, and inappropriate! And you’d best believe word this is going to travel and I do mean today! She needs to know about the head, so that she will know what to do next as his hands. I suggest that you chill and remember your place,” Tracey is set straight by lieutenant Ant.
I make a mental note to get at her later, as I listen to Ant get her off of my back. He is one of the few men in charge of his own crew, which he runs with an iron fist. Gavin has nothing but the best in loyalty around in him.
Dana is still talking but I am listening to too many people at one time. I can’t understand why the crew is looking to me for answers. Pain has never involved me in any of his business matters. I am a well-kept and even more shielded wife, who isn’t in the loop on anything. What I can do is run the hell out of Doc’s office from front to back. But Pain’s business is something of a totally different nature.
I need to know why they are looking to me for direction when I need to find out about my man first. I don’t even have time to let Tracey’s ass in on a little secret. I’ve been disrespected from a female once already concerning my man. Nice Kam has pre-knowledge of my man being a hustler with five kids, instead of him being a longshoreman with only one little girl.
I’m was bout that life from the go but she doesn’t know that. I need to make sure that they all are on notice though. Pain had a choice and he chose me, so these women that are Tiffani’s co-signers need to understand that a new Queen is now on the throne. For Gavin, I will be what he needs for me to be.
“Sit down Kam.” Someone pulls me into a chair.
“This is what we are dealing with right now. Cease was pronounced dead on the scene. Dre is in critical condition and was just life-flighted to Texas. E and Black were also shot a few times each. But, Pain got it worse.
He has been shot eight times. It was touch and go for a minute but they think that they have stabilized him enough to operate on him. Right now it looks like he is going to make it but then again we are still in ICU- in the same spot that we were in when we first got here.”
Tears begin to fall . . . One drop after another, they rain on my shirt.
“They are getting ready to take him to surgery now, so you need to get in there before they take him away.”
“What about the men that did this?” I need to know why all of these hard ass men are at the hospital and not out hunting.
“All dead.”
“Are you for real?”
“Pain is all about the pain. He doesn’t lay down for any man. The shit ain’t even over yet and that is the worst part about this situation.”
Sanye is back in the conversation.
I am more than satisfied with her answer. I stand to my feet. Christina pulls me back down.
“Kam, you need to be prepared.”
Dana talks in a hush tone in my ear.
“What else can there be? I work in the medical profession, I’m used to this stuff. I need to see my man.”
“Tiffani is in the room with him and our parents right now.” Christina rushes through her words.
“I don’t give a damn about Tiffani! Unless she has one of these and I do mean equal carats, clarity, and in present tense…then she ain’t on my level.”
My attitude jumps from ten to twenty.
44
Even though I shouldn’t be concerned with what I have on . . . Especially after my man has been shot eight times . . . suddenly I am. For this to be the very first time that we two women will lay eyes on each other, this is critical.
I send up praises, knowing the morning that I’ve had. I am refreshed, loose, and dressed to slay . . . Even with all things considered being as bad as they are right now. I still have to keep it all the way real . . . I am looking cute.
Gavin has upgraded every aspect of my life. I walk the walk as if I was born into money and have never known anything different. As I strut into the small room- head high, shoulders back, stomach in, ass out- smelling good: all eyes are on me.
Yet I only had tunnel vision and all I can see is my perfect man lying in an oversized bed with tubes and machines all around him. He is still bloody and the damage is evident that those men really did want Pain dead.
My mind compares him from this morning when he didn’t have a hair misplaced on his head and now his body with actual holes it in is just too mu
ch for me. I lose it. He looks as if he has been worked on by the hospital staff, or maybe they had to do a lot in the ambulance ride.
His eyes are closed and he has an oxygen mask over his mouth. His forehead is completely hidden with gauge that is wrapped around his head.
“OHMYGOD! GAVIN….BABY?”
I am in between two people as they attempt to hold me up.
“WHY WOULD SOMEBODY DO THIS TO HIM? WHY? HE WAS SO PERFECT THIS MORNING. HE WAS LYING IN BED AND I WATCHED HIM AS HE SLEPT. HE WAS PERFECT. HE WAS SO PEACEFUL, WHY WOULD THEY WANT HIM DEAD? OHMIGOD, GAVIN! GAVIN CAN YOU HEAR ME?”
I bust out of the restraints and then I rush to him. When he hears my voice, he opens his eyes. I am at his side, damn near in the bed with him. I rub his face and talk in his ear. He starts to cry. He tells me that he loves me. That sets off the fireworks.
“Oh, so since she’s here now you can open your eyes and talk ‘n shit?”
Pain has lit the match and Tiffani- still with the last name she was born with, even though she’s carried five kids for the same man- Moore, lost her mind. She doesn’t wait for a response, even though Pain is frowning and moaning loudly.
“Get your damn hands off of him!” Tiffani has the nerve to knock my hand from his cheek.
“Let me tell you something- keep your hands off of me! You don’t know me like that! And by the way- who are you?”
I already know who she is but to me in this moment, she is a familiar nobody.
She needs to know that all of the time that she’s spent worried about me . . . In return, I’ve spent no time thinking about her. She is shocked into being speechless for a few moments.
“You know damn well who I am! And I don’t appreciate your hands all over my man!”
“Your man? Girl you ain’t got nothing but a baby daddy, if you don’t have one of these right here!” I throw the sparkling diamonds on my left hand in her face.
I do the infamous Beyoncé’ finger flip from the Single Ladies video in her face. She’s only heard about the rock that is too big for my small finger to carry. Just recently Gavin had the nerve to complete the ring with a matching band.
He says that I will get another one at our wedding ceremony. He has created a girl who can’t turn down diamonds. There is so much to a man like him. I’ve fallen in love and fallen hard.
“I know you heard my man tell you that he has moved on a while ago. Do you need to hear it from me too? How many more people have to tell you to scram?”
The scene is too much for her to take. Before I can take a minute to adjust to my surroundings or even think about acting like a lady, there is a fight. She is on one side of the hospital bed and I am on the other, with the man that we both claim to love in the middle of us.
Cords are snatched, machines start beeping, and slaps can be heard over the trash that we spit at each other. Punches are thrown and I am upset that the bed is in the way. She tries to grab my ponytail and can’t but I have my way with the micro braids in her head.
The ratio of thrown licks and the number of licks that make contact on both ends is even. She is bigger than me but I am tagging her head every chance that I get. When the men pull us apart, I have four long braids in my fist and a scratch above my eye. But the stinging goes away when I see her busted lip. I grin to myself. For my first one on one fight, I held my own. NaNa is going to be so proud.
“I WANT THAT BIRD OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW AND SHE’D BETTER NOT BRING HER RATCHET ASS BACK WHILE I’M HERE! IF YOU WANT TO SEE HIM, THEN YOU’RE GONE HAVE TO GET IN WHERE YOU FIT IN! AND I MEAN THAT SHIT!” I should be ashamed of my behavior.
“THAT’S THE GOTDAMN PROBLEM NOW, YOU THINK YOU RUN SHIT! YOU AREN’T ALL THAT YOU THINK YOU ARE BOO AND I’M THE BITCH BOLD ENOUGH TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH!”
Holding her lip doesn’t stop her from talking shit back.
“I CAN SHOW YOUR ASS WAY BETTER THAN I CAN TELL YOU WHO RUNS WHAT! JUST WATCH ME, YOU MIGHT LEARN SOMETHING!”
If anyone cracked an egg and poured it on my forehead, it’s hot enough to make an omelet. Anger is now seeping from my pores. I have never been in the midst of something so chaotic by myself, in my whole life.
I avoid drama at all costs. I work hard and even though I was forced to cheat in the game by lying about my age, it has never stopped my grind. I am a mother and fatherless child playing in the adult world. I have come all this way alone, only to be knocked down to a level of ratchetness that I didn’t even know I had in me.
“IS THIS IS THE SHIT I HAVE TO GO THROUGH TO BE IN YOUR LIFE?”
I totally misunderstand how unreasonable it is to be hollering at the man who is the cause of the show and who also has an IV.
45
Gavin is messy as hell to wait until I get here to acknowledge and respond to the people in the room. He has caused this scene. I don’t care how many holes he has in his body, my mind is telling me that he did that shit on purpose.
The man dresses as if he is going to be walking in a fashion show every day. I have learned enough about him to know that every move he makes is always calculated and well thought out. Even the night that we met, he was sending a signal to another woman that he didn’t want her. People knew about me way before I met them. I didn’t know it at the time but that alone should have been a warning.
It doesn’t matter to me though because where you act up at, is where you’ll get your ass beat at. I barely understand the words that she continues to speak, as she is being held in a full nelson, while being escorted out the door. Gavin is still angry and moaning from his bed.
It is safe to say that even he got a few of the blows that have been thrown. I am too pissed to even look at him or to be concerned with his pain. It will be selfish of me to start screaming even more questions at him when I know that he can’t even answer them.
He shouldn’t be in the middle of this fiasco but he has made this bed twice over. He’s said that his house was too hot a long time ago. Yet I can’t think of a reason that he should have even been there that day to begin with. But Tiffani’s words still echo in my mind . . . .
“Get your hands off my man!”
The woman said that he is her man in front of his parents and other family members, yet no one said a word.
Hospital staff come in to take him away. Being scorned and mean, I don’t even acknowledge his eyes when they push his bed on out of the room. I go into the restroom inside of the small hospital room to straighten up my clothing.
The scratch above my eyelid is upsetting me but it isn’t too bad considering. I promise myself that I will see her again for having the desire to mess my face up in such a way. Tiffani isn’t a bad looking woman but her attitude of arrogance, hate, and jealousy in her eyes makes her ugly.
There isn’t a pure or sincere bone in her body. Ugly people always want to make someone beautiful just as ugly as them. But that lightweight boxing match isn’t going to be the main even between the two of us. She can bet her life on that. I come out of the restroom after I finally calm my nerves down, enough for me to stop shaking.
“I need to put my foot down here with this situation that my son has thrown you in the middle of. I will talk to Tiffani but the two of you are going to have to come to an agreement on visitation times for the sake of my grandchildren….”
I cut Mr. Brown off.
“This situation has nothing to do with the kids. I wouldn’t dare try to stop the kids from being able to see him! But I will tell you right now that you are asking too much of me. Especially if you think that I’m going to allow her to use this tragedy as a means to a re-spark their relationship.
That is not going to happen. Gavin proposed to me. We just bought a house. I am his future! That is his past! So when you are talking to her…make sure that she understands the difference between what is here now and what is gone.”
One of the men whistles. I roll my eyes at him, causing him to leave the room. Of course, I don’t mean to come off so strong. Gavin’s parents and
siblings have been around me long enough to know that I’m not about the stupid stuff.
I am normally a soft spoken and peaceful woman. They have a ticket to the circus that I had no problem making an appearance in on today. I have held up my good name as a lady with poise, grace, and respect. The only difference is that Gavin is not able to play referee.
Tiffani needs to know that no matter how sweet and innocent that I look, she will get a fight out of me. I’m not scared of her or anyone else.
“Daddy, that went good compared to how it could’ve went down.”
Christina speaks up.
“OK! Tip done shut a whole club down over Pain! I’m talking acting all kinds of a fool!” Dana adds.
“Kam held her own though. Bet she won’t buck no more!”
“I think it’s best to stay out of Gavin’s personal affairs like we have always done. We can’t forget the fact that he has made it plain to see who he wants to be his wife. Tiffani has been with him since high school and he never got down on one knee . . . No matter how much she pouted, cried and threatened.
After many years and five kids- he’s never even given her anything with the word ring in it- nothing more than a pair of earrings!” Mrs. Brown is speaking truth that I can deal with.
“If nothing else, I bet she knows she can’t intimidate Kam out of his life like she’s done everybody else. That’s what we need to focus on.”
Dana is on point.
Seated on the hard ass sofa nestled against the wall, I listen to the Brown family talk about me like I’m not even here. I have pressed the mute button a long time ago. I have nothing to say to any of them anyway.
Fuming and simmering in my spot, tears begin to fall. In the midst of my sniffles, I have all eyes on me. I am no one’s charity case, no matter what situation presents itself in my life. Before they can attempt to console me, I am swinging the door open and charging towards the elevators.
