“I know that,” Martha hissed through clenched teeth. “I’m not talkin’ about today’s incident.”
Stunned, thankful Martha was whispering rather than yelling at the top of her voice, Walt asked, “Then what are you talkin’ about? How did I fail him?”
“You bullied that boy from the minute he was old enough to understand words. Scolded him for not bein’ tough and rough like you. Mocked him about his interests in design, art, playin’ games.”
“I—”
“No, don’t you interrupt me, Walter Addison. You wanted me to talk, so I am. Sayin’ things I shoulda years ago. You were ashamed of our son because he wasn’t a jock, didn’t have any interest in the things you did. That boy’s been scared of your shadow ever since he was a toddler. All he’s ever done his whole life is try to live up to your ridiculous expectations of him, and look what happened! Every time he’d come close to succeedin’, you never gave him praise or any congratulations. Your pathetic compliments were always back-handed digs. By the time he was a teenager, you’d mashed his spirit to the point he didn’t care anymore. He quit tryin’ because he knew he’d never live up to your standards!”
Anger flared in Walt’s gut. “That’s not fair, Martha. I’ve always loved Turner.”
“I never said you didn’t. I said you failed him. Had you taken a softer touch, made yourself more accessible to him, he woulda paid more attention and learned rather than mimicked your actions. And I wouldn’t be so freakin’ terrified, knowin’ my son almost died today. Not only that, but he’s now basically immobile durin’ the middle of the end of civilized society. What happens if we have to flee here? Or one of those movin’ corpses finds its way to the cave?”
“That’s what guns are for, Martha. And since we’re discussin’ the well-being of our son, recall you were goin’ to leave without him before. Why are you so freaked out now?”
Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say. Martha’s face turned bright red as tears filled her eyes. “You best leave me be, Walter, and let me cool off before I say somethin’ I regret. I’m thinkin’ you need to keep your distance, at least until our son can walk again. I’ll be busy takin’ care of him, like I always have.”
“Martha Louise, that ain’t fair. Okay, I’ll give you the fact I wasn’t the greatest father. I tried my best. Truly. However, what happened today wasn’t because I didn’t love our son enough. It happened because he did use the skills I taught him and caught somethin’ I missed. Of course, that’s when your genes kicked in and his balance failed him. You can be mad at me all you want, but considerin’ the way things are now, I don’t think that’s such a grand idea. Aren’t you the one who said we should all stand together, keep each other safe, and pull together as a unit?”
“Don’t you dare try and use my words against me.”
“Why? You’re willin’ to use my actions, or lack of, against me.”
For a split second, Walt thought Martha was going to hit him. So many emotions blazed across her face, he felt dizzy. Instead of balling up her fist and letting him have it, Martha dropped her head. Her shoulders bounced up and down as quiet sobs wracked her body.
Martha Louise Addison rarely cried. Walter tried, yet couldn’t remember, the last time he’d seen her fall apart. Seeing her so distraught made tears of his own swell. Pulling her to his chest, he whispered, “Oh, lover. Turner’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna be okay. I swear.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Walter,” Martha whispered in between sobs. “Just…don’t.”
Something inside Walt’s mind broke free. If they were all going to make it, and keep each other safe, there could be no secrets between them. They’d all have to open up and expose true thoughts, worries, feelings, and any information they’d been hiding, in order to function as one unit.
Walter had been hiding what he’d seen in the woods, and the fact he’d followed Jesse and Shaun. Now, he needed to come clean, stop pretending that he could handle things covertly, on his own, without sharing with the rest of the group. He also needed to confront Jesse about the drugs, and the reaction of Kevin Warton when he thought she’d taken some.
Inside the dimly lit cave, while the rest of the group huddled around Turner’s cot, Walt clung to his wife, offering Martha all he had, which was only his love. “You know me, lover. I don’t make promises I don’t intend to keep.”
Martha pulled away and wiped her tear-stained face on his sleeve. “And I don’t cry over nothin’. I’m scared, Walter. Scared.”
“Me, too, so we’ll just use the fear as fuel to make ourselves stronger, okay?”
Martha nodded.
“Now, about that order to stay away?”
“I didn’t mean it. You know how I get when mad.”
“Good. Because I’ve lived my whole adult life by your side, Martha Louise. Don’t intend on livin’ out the remainder of it shut away from you. We need each other. More than ever.”
“I know. I was just blowin’ off steam.”
Walter leaned down and kissed Martha, long and hard. She returned the kiss with passion, so Walt had to pull away before he forgot all about the others. “You’re the last one who hasn’t taken a shower. Go, get yourself under that hot water. It’ll help ease the tension in your back and shoulders. I’ll finish this here soup and make sure our boy eats it all.”
“Thank you. I love you, Walter. Sorry about losin’ it. Guess it was just my turn.”
Walter shooed Martha toward the latrine. “Get yourself all clean and soft, then later, we can figure out a way for both of us to ease the tension in our muscles.”
Martha grinned and shook her head. “Even with the end near. Men.”
He watched Martha make her way through the cave, stopping once by Turner’s bedside to check on him. Reed Newberry rose and headed toward him. Turning back to the soup, Walter smiled, grateful his ass cheeks were still in one piece.
“From across the room, it looked like you dodged a bullet,” Reed said.
Walt chuckled. “Yeah, she let me have it but then forgave me.”
“Don’t take it personally, Walt. Mother’s get like that when their chicks get hurt. Lord, how many times did I see Regina…”
Walt heard the hitch in Reed’s voice before it trailed off. “I know, and I didn’t. How’s Turner?”
Clearing his throat, Reed answered, “Turner’s fine. Hell, half of Rockport is fawnin’ over him like he won the lottery. Plus, Jane gave him a hefty dose of morphine. Why wouldn’t he be?”
“Funny. How’s Jesse takin’ all this? Should I expect her to get all emotional and freak out on me, too?”
Reed looked back over his shoulder. “I don’t think she’ll leave his side long enough to give you a piece of her mind.”
“Well, that’s good to hear. Not sure I could stand havin’ two women losin’ it in one day on me. So, while you’re here and everyone else is out of earshot, got somethin’ to run by you.”
Reed turned back around. “Shoot.”
“Once we all finish eatin’, we need to have a group meetin’. Got some things I need to share about a few items I’ve been keepin’ from everyone. While in the middle of gettin’ my ass reamed by my wife, I decided it was time to make some changes. Come clean about certain things. Like Martha said—we all need to work as a group, and can’t really do that if each of us is runnin’ in different directions.”
“Well said. Couldn’t agree more, but why tell me now? Why not wait until you address us all?”
“Ain’t tellin’ you what’s on my mind, just that there’s somethin’ on it, and givin’ you a heads-up in case you’ve got somethin’ you need to get off your chest.”
“Oh, gotcha.”
“I’m gonna ask everyone to be honest with each other and work as a group. If we don’t, we’ll get picked off one by one. It’ll probably be like poppin’ a boil: painful, stinky, and full of nasty goo, yet once drained, feel much better.”
Reed shook his head.
“Nice analogy to use before we eat.”
“Hey, I said I’d changed my mind about some things, but not all. I still enjoy makin’ folks cringe sometimes with—oh, what does Martha always say? My inappropriate humor? Yeah, that’s it. Inappropriate humor.”
Picking up a tray of plastic bowls, Reed laughed. “I can see why Turner hates jokes. If I’da grown up listenin’ to that kind of humor, my funny bone would be gone, too. Don’t worry about talkin’ to us all, Walt. We’ve got each other’s backs now. Since we’re stuck in this cluster-fuck together, may as well make the best of it.”
PROPOSALS - Monday, December 22nd – 7:15 p.m. – Central Standard Time
Jesse only left Turner’s side once to take a shower and change clothes. Looking down at the gray sweats Martha gave her earlier, she smiled. Though ugly, they were warm, clean, and certainly smelled better than the tattered pajamas she’d worn for two days. Martha’s superior planning skills included soap, toilet paper, and deodorant. The only thing missing was tampons, which made sense to Jesse. Martha Addison was way past the point of having periods, and probably didn’t think there would be someone hiding out with them who still experienced the monthly mess.
All that was fine and dandy, but seeing Turner’s injuries broke Jesse’s heart. Though she’d always loved him, the feelings intensified the moment she saw all the blood on his face. While observing Jane tend to him earlier, Jesse forgot all about her claustrophobia. She watched Jane and Martha work on him, absorbing all their movements and how they handled his leg, broken nose, and gashes. Though they didn’t have the proper materials to use as a cast to immobilize Turner’s leg, they improvised. Walt broke down one of the cots, using the thick material and strong pieces of metal as a makeshift cast.
While watching, all Jesse could think about was how lucky she was Turner was still alive, and they were surrounded by people who knew how to handle themselves. Yet, the biggest worry rolling around in Jesse’s head was the injury. The broken leg left Turner helpless, dependent upon the rest of their small group for survival.
When she was in the shower—dear God, the hot shower—Jesse thought about her mother’s final moments alive. How she’d snuck in her feelings about Jesse, veiling the comments under the guise of urging Marian to not give up. Remembered her mother mentioning Jesse was strong, and all the other snippets of love. Jesse clung to the words inside her mind, using them as fuel to keep her going. When the dark, ugly images of her mother’s last moments on earth tried to surface, Jesse pushed them down deep, refusing to let them take control.
The time she’d spent on the streets, doing unspeakable, wretched things to survive long enough to earn money to buy another hit, came in handy. Back then, Jesse taught her mind to ignore the vile, disgusting acts by pretending she was on the set of a movie, surrounded by actors. Forced herself to believe the pain and humiliation were make believe, and in the end, she’d win awards from adoring fans around the world for her spot-on performances.
Using the same tactics now to keep herself from going stark-raving mad, Jesse simply pretended she was a cast member of a zombie series. One with an enormous set, and her family was home, watching her performance on television, marveling at how real things seemed.
All of her family, including Mom—her biggest fan.
Jesse knew the idea was silly and pathetic, but it didn’t matter. She’d do whatever necessary to keep from blowing a mental gasket.
While walking with Martha to the Humvees earlier, the conversation full of more sweet, encouraging maternal advice, Jesse realized how lucky she truly was. Though not her mother, Martha Addison was more than a suitable substitute.
Turner squeezed her hand, bringing Jesse out of her internal musings. “You doin’ okay, baby?”
“Of course I am. Because you are,” Jesse whispered.
Turner tried to smile, but it looked weird and painful. Between the bruises, swollen skin, and bandages on his face, it almost looked as if he were wearing a mask. Jane had given him some sort of medicine to help with the pain, so his pupils were barely visible. It was the first time she’d ever seen Turner high, and it was quite strange.
“No, I mean with the cave. You haven’t been outside in hours. Do you need to get some air?”
“Lamar said earlier it’s snowin’, and you know how much I hate the cold, so no. Besides, your fall seemed to cure my claustrophobia.”
“At least somethin’ good came outta tumblin’ around like a runaway boulder.”
Before Jesse had a chance to say anything else, Walter Addison stood and addressed the group. “Okay, folks. It’s time to have a come to Jesus meetin’.”
Shifting positions, Jesse settled in to listen to Walter Addison. A twinge of worry poked inside Jesse’s stomach. What now?
“Where’s the organ music?” Kyle teased.
Walt ignored the comment. “We have a lot to discuss this evenin’, so please bear with me as I tackle each item. Okay?”
The memory of her mother’s speech at Walmart made a lump of tears form in Jesse’s throat. Turner must have sensed the connection. He squeezed her hand again. “I love you.”
Jesse patted his shoulder and whispered, “Love you, too, you big klutz.”
Walt cleared his throat. “I ain’t gonna rehash what we already know, but I am gonna add a few new twists we’ve learned recently. Recall on our way up here, I found evidence I assumed belonged to military personnel. Well, after the events of the past two days, it ain’t an assumption any longer.”
“How do you know for sure, Walt? You see someone?” Deputy Mike Bailey asked.
“Yes, but before I get into that, let me finish. Things ain’t gonna get better, at least not in the foreseeable future. We’re on our own, and ain’t no help on the horizon. We all witnessed the government’s response. Our hometown, as well as the other big cities we passed through, are gone. If the decision was made to take out cities here in Arkansas, it’s not too far of a leap to assume the same thing happened in bigger ones.”
“God, let’s hope not,” Shaun muttered.
“Trust me, Shaun, I don’t want that to be the case, but we have to look at the cold, hard facts here. We also need to come to grips with the fact the dead, and the government, ain’t our only enemies. Since things have gone to shit, those still breathin’ will do whatever is necessary to survive. Food, water, weapons, and shelter are what’s at stake.”
“Agreed. People ain’t nice under normal circumstances. As supplies dwindle, so will their humanity,” Lamar added. “Hell, things were bad even before this shit happened.”
Walt nodded. “Yet another reason this cave was our choice for a beta location. The average citizen wouldn’t dream of seekin’ shelter here, only other preppers. Don’t think we’ll need to worry about others like us at the moment, though. I’m sure they’re holed up in their own respective hideaways. The ones we need to worry about are the loners, civvys and grunts alike, scourin’ and scavagin’ to live another day.”
Pausing to take a drink of water, Walt scanned the room. His gaze stopped on Jesse. For some reason, the look on his face made her stomach churn.
“I led off with those comments because they underscore what I’m about to say. We need each other, more than ever. There’s not gonna be a rescue; this is the way our world is now. Whatever biological hit us may peter out, like most eventually do. However, what it left in its wake, namely, reanimated humans, won’t disappear.”
“No, they’ll just increase as more people die,” Lamar added.
“Unfortunately, I believe you’re correct, Lamar,” Walt sighed. “Martha and I did a lot of plannin’, but we didn’t account for this many to be hidin’ out with us. We also didn’t take into consideration we would never be able to return home. On that point, we sorely miscalculated.”
“No one couldn’t have prepared for this. No one in their right mind, at least,” Martha interrupted.
Walt let out a bitter chuckle. “Yeah, a zombie apocalypse was only
discussed as an off-color joke durin’ prepper meetin’s,” Walt shook his head while clearing his throat. “This mornin’, I did some calculations. What we’ve got stored here food wise, if we ration wisely, will last about three months. While we don’t have to worry about water, since it’s comin’ from the ground, we do need to think about how to replace the rest of our supplies. Long-term plannin’ is needed. Think crops, livestock. We aren’t the only ones who’ll be out scavengin’ to survive. It won’t take long until there ain’t nothin’ left to find.”
Jesse felt sick to her stomach. The way Walt was talking, they planned on staying—living—in a cave.
Forever?
No. Fucking. Way.
“Wonder how many are even left?” Reed asked.
“There’s no way to know, unless we venture out and start countin’ heads. Ain’t none of us interested in that dangerous op, I’m sure. We’ve only been up here less than a week, and already suffered a major injury, which depleted a large chunk of our medical supplies. Y’all need clothes, too, along with other items. Findin’ more will require a solid plan to not only locate them, but bring them safely back here.”
Turner tugged on Jesse’s hand, urging her to come closer. Jesse leaned over and Turner whispered, “He’s a real ray of sunshine, right? If I didn’t know better, I’d swear he’s enjoyin’ this. Don’t worry, babe. I’ll build us treehouse soon, once my leg heals. I know you can’t handle livin’ here forever.”
“Turner? Did you have somethin’ to share?” Walt asked.
Jesse didn’t like the tone in his voice.
At all.
“No. Just tryin’ to lighten the mood a bit. All this doom and gloom—”
“It’s reality, son. Harsh, ugly-as-shit, reality. Ignorin’ what’s goin’ on in the world now will just cost us later.”
“I know, Dad. We all know. Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt. Just tryin’ to make Jesse smile.”
“Mighty kind of you, son, and also leads me to my next point. With the way things are now, we can’t afford division or strife between us. We must work together to live. No secrets, no hidden agendas, no distrust. We all have to know the person standin’ next to us has our back, one-hundred percent.”
Tainted Future (The Rememdium Series Book 3) Page 7
