by Sindee Lynn
Her body relaxed even more against his. Oh it had been so long since a man’s touch had made her feel like this. At some point between last night and this morning she’d made an effort to tell herself she’d reacted strongly to him because it had been awhile since she’d had sex. In the cold harshness of day the excuse no longer rang with even a hint of truth. When had he grown into this man with the power to turn her to mush? Where had her little Nicki gone? The thought brought home the reality of what she was doing.
“Nicki.”
She heard and felt his deep sigh. His head lifted slowly. Desire filled eyes bore into her.
“Don’t do this Ashley. Don’t deny both of us what we want. We were good last night. You can’t deny that.” The pleading tone of his voice demanded she be honest.
“No I can't that.”
“Then why dammit? Why can’t you just let this happen? Let it play out. See where it goes.”
If only it were that simple. The consequences were too high.
“Nicki it’s not that simple and you should know that.”
His body tensed against hers. His barely controlled anger was a tangible thing in the small breath of space separating them.
“You mean because of your friendship with Heather don’t you? You think she’d object to our getting together? What the hell am I saying? Of course she would. She’s never thought I was good enough for you or more accurately she’s always thought you were too good for me.” He ran agitated fingers through his hair as he appeared to be mulling over what he’d just said. Solemn blue eyes gazed down at her.
“And she’s right. You are too good for me. Always have been. No matter how much money I have in my trust fund it doesn’t change the truth. I’m nothing like the guys you normally date but I know that I can be a better person with you in my life. For you I can be better. Do better.”
A war raged inside of her and she felt trapped. Trapped between what her body was screaming at her to go for and what her head was telling her was impossible. Ashley had yet to see anything different of him than what she seen but her heart told her otherwise. She prayed for the blinders that had allowed her the strength to ignore her attraction to him for so many years to magically reappear. She didn’t want to know that no matter her course of action, either way things had changed forever between them.
“You shouldn’t have to change to be with someone. That person should want you just like you are. In all your trust fund glory.” A small smile came to her lips.
In that moment as she stood staring at the man in front of her, Ashley finally admitted the truth of what she had been hiding from for years. She wanted Wade Romano, wanted him with a depth of desire and need that frightened her. Her mind raced back over the last several years trying to figure out how she could have let this happen? Was it too late to stop it? Dammit she couldn't think with him pressed so close against her.
“There’s so much at stake. I think it’s best if we stop now before it has a chance to get too far out of control.” As the words left her mouth she realized it was already too late. Things had been out of her control for some time now and she hated it. She’d never been one to sit around and just allow life to happen to her. She made no excuses for the way she lived her life and went after what she wanted with everything she had. It was the way she had been raised. Before her was something she wanted more than her next breath and she was attempting to convince herself of why it couldn't be.
“Ashley I have waited for you to stop seeing me as that little chubby kid you first met. Just when it looks like you have what you want, you run in the opposite direction.”
A clear image of the little boy he used to be came to mind and an unexpected smile appeared at the memory.
“But I kind of liked that little boy.”
Strained laughter met her comment. He pulled her closer to him. Memories from last night replaced those of years past. His touch. The feel of his tongue licking up the inside of her thighs.
“I think you’ll like the grown up version even better if you’d just give him a chance.”
“But Wade what about ….”
He brushed his lips against her parted ones before thrusting his tongue between them to sweep the inside of her mouth. Her body tensed initially but as the sensual assault continued, she relaxed against him. Trembling hands roved across his smooth shoulders as he thrust his tongue deeper into her mouth. Strong fingers gripped her hips, pulling her closer. His hips began thrusting against her in a rhythm that matched the movements of his tongue into her mouth. Her legs opened slightly to allow him to get closer to where she wanted him to be.
Ring … ring …
Ashley jerked in response to the loud shrill tone, effectively ending their kiss. Not bothering to glance up to see Wade’s reaction to the interruption, she pushed against his chest and slid off the stool.
“Hello?” she answered hoping her voice came out sounding calmer than what she felt.
“Hey girl. Heather said you were off today. I called to see if you wanted to hit the gym and then maybe have some lunch,” her friend, Yvette’s, voice sang across the lines.
In that moment Yvette could have been asking her if she wanted to take a trip to the pits of Hell and Ashley would have said yes.
“That sounds great. How about I pick you up and we head out?” she asked not looking at Wade.
“Okay I’ll be ready when you get here,” Yvette said and hung up.
Ashley hung up the phone and took a deep breath before turning to face him.
“I’m going to the gym with Yvette. Lock up when you leave or if you want you can stay that’s fine too. I can imagine you’re tired. I’ll be gone probably all day. There’s no need for you to stay here unless you really want to,” she said backing out of the kitchen.
His shoulders slumped and she knew how he felt. His bulge went down in his jeans and her body cried out for the chance to experience it once more.
“I won’t be here when you get back.” He sat back down at the island.
“Okay,” she said rushing from the room.
Entering her bedroom, she closed the door behind her and breathed a deep sigh. She called herself all kinds of fool. What the hell had she been thinking? She should have called a halt to things before they had gotten out of hand. Which time her brain taunted? Last night or just now?
“Shut up,” she said to the empty room.
Less than twenty-four hours ago she’d been given the chance to taste and feel what she’d been craving and she’d liked it. She dropped her head in misery. Now that she’d discovered how good it felt to have him and she knew exactly what he could do with that tongue ring how was she ever supposed to do without him?
Chapter Eight
Wade watched as Ashley practically tripped over her own feet in her haste to leave the kitchen.
“Dammit,” he said smacking the kitchen table.
He moved his aching hand to adjust his hardened member to a more comfortable spot. Hmph that was a joke. The only true comfortable spot was buried deep inside the woman who had just left the room. The throbbing of his dick only increased his agitation. It took everything in him not to take the cups he was carrying to the sink and throw them against the nearest wall. Why did everything always have to be the hard way with her? Letting out a deep breath, Wade left the kitchen.
He headed back upstairs to get his shirt and shoes so he could leave. Wade didn’t want to go through the whole awkward thing. He’d rather leave, lick his wounds and come back after having a chance to regroup for the next round because there was no way he was going to just let this go.
Thoughts of last night came back. It had been something straight out of one of his wet dreams only better.
He’d been heading down the hall to the bathroom when David’s raised voice had caught his attention. It had at first thrown him and he’d stood stunned for long moments in the hallway. Then he’d focused in on what the asshole had been saying.
Wade was glad it wa
s over between them. Sure he might be a big time, hot shot ball player but he was a piece of shit and had no idea what it was to treat a woman with respect. And you do? came the taunt across his mind.
Grabbing his stuff off the dresser, Wade gave one more glance back at the bed before he headed towards the stairs. He was so lost in his own thoughts, he almost ran into Ashley. Again. Their eyes locked but know words came out. The silence between them was awkward.
He couldn't recall a time since he’d known her when they hadn’t been able to talk to each other. In fact, over the last several years Wade could easily say Ashley was one of his closest friends. She looked uncomfortable and uncertain. Both were in direct contrast to the confident always sure of herself woman he had come to know and love. Never had he allowed any thoughts except good ones to crowd his mind on his quest to get her. Thoughts of how his life would be complete with her in his bed and by his side. Now he wasn’t sure. The tension pulsing in the air around them had definitely not been a part of the equation.
“About what happened…” they both began at the same time.
Even though her head was lowered he could see the small smile on her face. Need for her tugged at his insides and there was no way he could ignore it. It was a need that ran deep to his soul. This was the woman who had been created just for him. He knew it with a certainty he couldn't explain. He didn’t care about their differences in age or race. And as for her size… Raking his eyes over her generous curves, wrapped in work out attire, he fought the groan building at the back of his throat. There wasn’t one thing about her he would change. His heart had always and would always belong to a full-figured woman of color and no one else could ever compare to her. If only he could get her to believe it could be.
“Sorry you go ahead,” she said.
Where did he begin? There were so many things he wanted to say to her but didn’t think she was ready to hear any of them.
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable downstairs or anything,” he said leaning against the banister.
His hands itched to touch her. Instead he shoved them in the front pockets of his jeans.
“You didn’t make me uncomfortable,” she said.
Yeah right, he wanted to reply. That’s why you’re not looking at me now.
“Okay,” he said instead.
“Look Nicki…” she began.
His eyes rolled back in his head. Whenever she called him “Nicki” he knew it was meant to put him back in that safe place in her mind.
“I just don’t want you to put too much into what happened last night. It was great but I don’t want you to start thinking it means something other than what it was. Great sex.”
Whether the words had been meant to or not they stung and he knew what was coming next even before she uttered the words.
“Nothing can ever come of anything between us. You know that right? I’m older than you and then there’s my connection with your family. Not to mention Heather would probably die right on the spot.”
“No, well we certainly wouldn't want that now would we. We can’t have Heather dying because we have feelings for each other.” He immediately regretted his lack of control over his mouth when he saw her shoulders slump.
He felt bad for making her feel bad, but what was he supposed to do? Last night he’d not only cracked the protective shield she had used to keep him at bay for years but had shattered it with each thrust he’d made into her welcoming body. There was no way he was going to walk away.
“Ashley the last thing I want to do is jeopardize your friendship with my sister or put a strain on your connection with my family.” He began, running his fingers through his hair.
What else could he say? There was no way he could tell her the truth. That he really didn’t give a damn about how they felt or what they thought. For so many years he had been playing by the unspoken rules Ashley had put in place for their relationship and he was sick of it. It was past time he took control of what was happening. He raised his head, fire in his eyes, prepared to tell her just that, when she lifted troubled brown eyes to meet his. And all the fight drained right out of him. He exhaled a deep sigh of frustration, throwing up his hands in surrender. What the fuck? Two steps forward and forty damn steps back.
“What do you want to do Ashley? You tell me and I will work with it.”
His stomach churned as he waited for her to cast the final blow that would be his undoing. He just knew he was going to vomit right there in the hallway as he waited for her to seal his fate. If it meant the panicked look would no longer haunt her beautiful eyes when she looked at him, he’d agree to practically anything.
“I want things to go back to the way they used to be between us. To be friends like we used to be,” she continued.
Back to playing pretend and make believe was what she should have said because that’s all it amounted to. To pretending the air between them didn’t sizzle when they were together. That the briefest of touches didn’t burn where they had connected. To forget last night hadn’t changed everything between them. He began shaking his head because there was no way he could agree to that. For her to even ask him to was insane.
“Is this what you really want Ashley?”
Hesitation met his question and uncertainty flashed briefly across her face. A small ray of hope began to burn its way through the misery he had been feeling moments ago. He may have lost yet another battle but there appeared to still be hope for the war.
“I think it would be for the best,” she finally replied averting her eyes.
Some of the earlier tension left him and he leaned against the banister, his arms folded over his chest. The knot in his stomach eased and his insides no longer churned.
“Okay I’ll give you what you want.”
The look of disbelief on her face almost made him laugh out loud. He’d bet half of his trust fund she hadn’t seen that one coming.
“You’re really okay with this? Going back to the way things were? Before last night?” she whispered.
“It’s not my ideal situation but neither is it a horrible position to be in as only your friend.”
A soft smile was his reward. His insides tightened as he took in the soft curve of her luscious lips.
“Wade,” Ashley whispered leaning towards him.
Ring … ring …
Her look of annoyance was nothing compared to what he was feeling as she pulled her cell from her pocket and looked at the display. Her eyes closed briefly and he saw the deep breath she took before answering.
“Hey Yvette.”
Wade had never been one to do harm to a female. He found himself plotting Yvette’s downfall.
“Yeah I’m on my way now. I should be there in a few,” she said heading down the stairs.
She glanced back before disappearing through the door.
He sat down on the top step feeling extremely tired but then dealing with Ashley typically left him exhausted and highly frustrated. Something about spinning his wheels and making no headway. But today… A smile came to his face. Today he’d made definite progress. Sure his dick was still throbbing with need as it normally was after being in her presence for any extended time, but soon he told his body. He would be able to repeat the release he had found for the first time in almost a year. A grunt passed his lips. He wondered what she would do if he told her the real reason Dana had broken up with him.
“She probably wouldn't believe me,” he said aloud.
And who could blame her, knowing his past experiences with women. But somewhere along the way he’d gotten tired of using other women’s body to make up for the one he really wanted. He wanted Ashley and no one else was going to do. For so long he had wondered if he would ever have a real chance of having her in his life the way he wanted and now that he was so close there was no way he was going to give up.
He made sure he had everything before he set the alarm and walked out into the bright sunshine of the morning. Wade took a deep breath of the f
resh air and pushed all troubling thoughts to the back of his mind. Better to focus on the positive. Last night he’d slept with the woman of his dreams and it had been every bit, if not more than, what he had expected. The next time he walked through those doors he wouldn't be leaving until he’d made her his forever.
Chapter Nine
Ashley hit the gym with a vengeance. Tension and sexual frustration had caused the muscles in her neck and shoulders to tighten into knots. Her body still ached for another taste of Wade.
She increased the speed of the treadmill. Faster, she told herself attacking the next hill. Her arms pumped at her side and her breathing increased. In through her nose and out through her mouth. In and out. Just like last night.
Dammit. Again she increased her speed. She was all but running now. Sweat poured from her brow. She absently wiped at it with the back of her hand but didn’t slow her pace. If nothing else she could tire herself out enough to sleep without thinking about him. The way it had felt to have him hold her as she’d come down from the best orgasm of her life. She stumbled and gripping the side rails of the treadmill for balance. Had it really been that good? One way to find out, her body taunted. You can always call him for a repeat performance. Shit. She caught herself again before she ended up on the floor.
“Hey maniac,” Yvette called from where she sat on one of the gym’s many bicycles, a towel around her neck. “Can we take a break before I pass the hell out?”
As Ashley looked over at her friend a frown puckered her brow. For a minute she considered ignoring her request but somewhere deep where some sort of sanity remained, she realized she’d set a frantic pace and it hadn’t helped keep thoughts of Wade away. She nodded, turning off the treadmill. Her body was throbbing and it wasn’t entirely from the six miles of hills she’d just walked. She grabbed the towel draped across the side rail and moped down her face. Tendrils of her hair had fallen down from her half hazard pony tail and clung to her damp cheeks and forehead.
