“I never let myself think of you like that. You were a friend and co-worker, not someone to ogle or flirt with. It was the first time I really let myself see all of you.” They were still in the comfortable portion of the conversation but Calen knew the hard part was coming soon.
“Me too. I’d put you in that category of people who are friends and nothing more. I guess it was because you were Garrett’s friend first and then started working with him.” Brent was quiet for about half a block before he started talking again.
Calen looked at the houses and listened to the sounds of the night as Brent collected his thoughts. He wasn’t in any hurry to get to the more difficult parts of the discussion. Finally, Brent spoke again, softly and deliberately, like he was carefully measuring his words. “I liked how it felt to kneel for you. You were still my friend, but there was more. I’ve never had a relationship start like that. I’m a little wary of where this is going, but I do trust you. But I’m not sure what you want.”
That was easy for Calen to answer. He didn’t even have to pause. “I want a relationship with you. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about things since that night. It might seem like this is going fast, but taking our friendship this direction feels right.”
“Then what’s been holding you back?”
That was the million dollar question.
“I like being a Dom. I’ve always liked being in control in the bedroom and even outside of it when my sub needed more. I love that look in a submissive's eyes when they’re completely gone and are flying. Even something as simple as hanging out with you at the club that night when you were kneeling there was perfect.” That was all true, but Calen knew he owed it to Brent to be completely honest.
Brent seemed to understand there was more coming because he let them walk in silence as they entered the park. It was small, but there were lighted paths that wound through the trees, and Calen could hear people talking and laughing. All he wanted to do was to keep walking in silence but he forced himself to keep going.
“Every Dom likes different things, just like every sub does. That’s why you discuss limits and see where your kinks are compatible. Mine don’t always align well with most submissives. I’ve tried dating more traditional guys, but that never works out. They understand some things but my need to dominate makes them uncomfortable.” Calen paused, trying to figure out how to explain things, but he must have been quiet for longer than he thought because, after a little while, Brent squeezed his hand and interrupted his circling thoughts.
“So something about what you like is more aligned with vanilla guys but you still want a D/s relationship. Do I have that right?” Brent’s voice was even and cautious but Calen knew he had to be going crazy inside.
“Yes.”
“Are you comfortable telling me what it is? I’m pretty open-minded.”
There had to be a thousand strange things bouncing around in Brent’s head. He was probably worried that Calen wanted something completely off the walls. It wasn’t that crazy. It just wasn’t that usual for a Dom.
He trusted Brent. He had to remember that.
“Yes.” Then he took a deep breath and reminded himself it wasn’t like he was confessing something weird. He was overreacting. Hopefully. But he’d thought he was worrying over nothing the last time he’d had this conversation too. “I like topping during heavy scenes but most of the time I prefer to be the receptive partner. I’m still the Dom and still in control but I like bottoming more.”
It shouldn’t be that difficult to say. Men had this conversation all the time. But something about the BDSM scene made people assume that to be a Dom you had to top. Like the two things automatically went together. They didn’t.
Brent stopped walking for a heartbeat, but before Calen had to stop, he was walking again. He was so quiet Calen wanted to glance and see how he was taking it, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. Some Dom he was. When Brent spoke, his voice was even and unemotional. “I’m betting someone you told had a very unpleasant reaction.”
“That’s an understatement.” Calen knew it came out sarcastic but he couldn't help it. But Brent’s words gave him enough confidence to finally look at him.
His friend was watching him and had an expression Calen couldn’t define. Happy wasn’t the right word, but it was an open, pleasant expression. “I have no problems with that at all. I’ve always been versatile and the idea of bottoming forever was frustrating. The whole ‘Doms don’t bottom’ mentality is stupid. Hello, prostate, duh. It feels good as long as you do it right.”
Calen wasn’t sure what to say. He’d been prepared for more of a reaction. “Yup.”
Brent laughed and shook his head. “Some subs are as bad as Doms when it comes to that idea. I’ve met a few who were convinced you weren’t a sub if you wanted to top.”
Calen nodded. Giving Brent’s hand a squeeze, he knew it was time to finish the discussion. Brent had already guessed part of it, anyway. “I’d been in the scene a few years when I met Clark. I thought things were going well. We’d started to click and while we were still learning about each other, he seemed nice. And he was submissive but not so much so that I expected him to have an issue with what I wanted. When I told him, he was surprised. Dom meant top to him and we’ll just say the discussion didn’t go well.”
That was an understatement.
To Clark, the idea that Calen wanted to bottom meant he wasn’t a real Dom. Clark had accused him of simply playing the role of a Dom and had actually asked him if he didn’t want to admit he was a sub. When Calen denied it and tried to explain, Clark had gone off on him, telling him that he was ashamed to admit who he really was. Calen hadn’t been able to make him understand that to him, the two things were very different. One was a physical preference and one was who he was inside.
“I’m sorry about that, Calen.”
Calen shrugged, not sure what to say. “It was a long time ago.”
“That’s why you were so hesitant to take things further after the club. I can understand why you’d be worried. They’re separate things to me though.”
“You seemed reluctant to push things too.” Calen looked over at Brent, more confident now that he knew his friend wasn’t going to walk away.
“I’ve had terrible luck. It’s made me a bit gun-shy. If there’s a dick in a hundred miles, I’ve dated him or at least talked to him. And with the occasional nice guys, we aren’t looking for the same thing. I loving being able to give up control in the bedroom, and I’m really more of a lifestyle sub in that respect, but I have no desire to even be in charge once in a while. But that’s scared off some Doms because they either wanted complete submission all the time or to only play occasionally. I don’t fit neatly into what they expect. So I can understand where you’re coming from.”
“And it was probably hard to read me.” Calen knew he hadn’t made it easy for Brent to see what he’d been thinking.
Brent laughed. “Oh yeah. You always said you were looking for something serious when it came up in the past but you never dated anyone for long. I wasn’t sure what was going on.”
“Are you sure about what’s going on now?”
“I think so. What about you?”
Calen let Brent see all the wicked thoughts that were going through his mind. “I’m very sure.”
Shaking his head, Brent smiled. “You’re going to turn into one of those dirty old men one day.”
Calen laughed. “Are you sure I’m not there yet? I could chase you around your desk at work trying to pinch your butt and making dirty jokes.”
“You might be right. I’m not going to encourage that at all. Come on. You ready to head back to my place? You owe me another movie and one of those brownies.”
“Brownies, yes, but why do I owe you another movie?”
“I missed that spy movie entirely. I have no idea what happened. This time, you’re going to keep your hands to yourself and I will pick the movie.”
“Bossy littl
e subbie.” But he smiled, letting Brent know he didn’t have a problem with the plan. Cuddling up to Brent sounded perfect, even if he had to keep his hands to himself.
“And don’t forget it.”
“I can already see I’m going to have to get creative with your punishments.” Calen watched as a shiver raced down Brent’s spine. “And isn’t that telling, subbie. I think we need to talk about limits tonight too.”
Brent was biting his lip and looking forward, avoiding Calen’s eyes. “Do not make me hard. No more talk of that in public. You’re going to get us arrested.”
“Oh, someone likes punishments.”
“Calen!” Brent’s frustration was clear.
“What kind of punishments? Does my subbie like to be spanked?” Calen wasn’t going to let Brent put him off. This conversation was much more fun than the one they’d been having, and he figured he deserved a reward. Making Brent nuts would be the perfect way to treat himself.
“Calen!”
He wondered how far he could push Brent before he either fessed up to what he liked or he got frustrated enough that Calen would get to punish him. Tonight looked like it was going to be better than he expected.
CHAPTER 6
Brent
Staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom, Brent couldn’t decide if getting out of bed was a good idea. If he had to take a week off from work, he thought he might as well enjoy it. Maybe he’d go to the gym later. Maybe he wouldn’t go at all. He’d stayed up late and didn’t need to be up at the crack of dawn, anyway. Damn internal clock.
Rolling to his side and pulling the covers over his head, he smiled at the memory of why he was up so late. Calen. He couldn't believe how much had changed between them so quickly. They might not have technically had the “we’re in a relationship talk” or the “I’m your Dom declaration” but Brent knew those were going to be right around the corner.
Besides, it had been pretty much implied already.
He’d had a hard time seeing himself getting serious with the Doms he’d dated in the past. They’d always seemed a little-one dimensional but Calen was so much more than that. The man was like the full package. A real man with flaws, desires, and fears, but also sexy, dominant, and had a wicked sense of humor. Perfect.
Brent knew that Calen would keep him on his toes.
He would end up crazy frustrated at times, but even though Calen drew him in like a moth to a flame, Brent had a feeling he wasn’t going to get burned. No, Calen might make him nuts but he wasn’t setting out to hurt Brent. Their conversation yesterday proved that.
Just the expression on Calen’s face had let Brent know something serious was coming, but the talk hadn’t been anything like what he was picturing. He’d flashed through all kinds of terrible options but hearing that it was about Calen’s desire to bottom wasn’t what he’d imagined.
Part of him had been relieved it wasn’t something that would have been more difficult to deal with, but the bigger piece had hurt for Calen. Brent didn’t think it was that big of a deal, but along the way, subs had done a number on the sexy Dom.
He’d seen it himself in the clubs. Submissives who were unsure of what to say and what a Dom might want went overboard in trying to reassure the Dom that all they wanted was to bottom. Brent liked both. Sure, he’d bottomed when he was with a Dom but—
Had he done the same thing? Had he assumed that he was supposed to bottom…that bottoming meant submission? Pushing the covers off his head, he gave up the pretense of going back to sleep. He liked topping. He’d only done it with the vanilla guys that he’d tried to date, but that didn’t have to mean anything…did it?
Brent wanted to say that it didn’t, but he wasn’t so confident anymore.
Bottoming didn’t mean submission to him. He’d dated enough guys outside the scene to realize that. But did he associate topping with being the dominant partner? Maybe. Not liking how that felt, he climbed out of bed and headed for the bathroom.
As he finished his morning routine and washed his hands, Brent stared in the mirror. If Calen wanted to bottom, Brent didn’t have a problem with that. He had a feeling Calen would figure out a way to take him right to the edge of insanity before he let Brent come, no matter how they were having sex.
Hell, he’d had scenes where no one had any kind of penetrative sex and they’d been hot. He was worrying over nothing. Shaking his head at his reflection, he said, “You are just trying to find something to worry about.”
Maybe the gym was a good idea.
Coffee first, though. That was a must. Heading to the kitchen, he’d barely gotten the coffee started when he heard a notification go off on his phone. “Who’s texting at six-thirty in the morning when I don’t have to work?”
After making sure the coffee pot was filling, Brent headed back to his bedroom. He was in the middle of plotting all kinds of evil payback for whichever brother thought it was funny to wake him up when he picked up his cell. Shaking his head, he had to laugh. Calen.
U up?
What was he doing up this early?
Yes what’s up?
Was his brain going ninety miles an hour like Brent’s was this morning?
Always up early…brain doesn’t know how to sleep in
Wandering back to the kitchen, Brent was happy to see the coffee ready. Setting his phone down, he doctored it up and went over to the table. Grabbing his phone, he texted Calen a picture of his coffee.
I’m no better. What are you doing today?
They belonged to the same gym. Maybe Calen wanted to come with him?
Nothing
Within seconds another text came in.
stupid auto-correct I had that spelled all funny on purpose
Shaking his head, Brent could only imagine what Calen’s dirty mind had done to that word.
Dirty Dom. I thought about heading to the gym want to go?
Taking a sip of his coffee, Brent tried not to stare at his phone. Thankfully, Calen responded right away.
Sure…what time…not too soon…I need to put on clothes
The devil face with the horns that followed the text had a lecherous look. But maybe it was his imagination. Not sure what to say, he ignored the hint that Calen might be naked.
About an hour?
He had to laugh at Calen’s response.
No fun…I gave you a good opening for naked talk…might have to punish you later
Calen was definitely a morning person. Brent was having a hard time pushing away the image of an aroused Calen lying on his bed naked. He shouldn’t encourage Calen but it was almost impossible not to.
How are you going to punish me?
Did he want to sext with Calen? Maybe.
There’s my dirty little subbie…Not going to tell u…it’s a surprise…think I need to remind u of who’s in control though
That was mean, but it was typically Calen. Tease and flirt then make Brent nuts. He thought he might as well play along.
When will this punishment take place?
It took Calen a second to respond but Brent wasn’t worried.
Bring clothes to the gym…we’ll get breakfast after…talk limits…then punish later
Then another one of those naughty smiley faces. This time with an angel whose halo was crooked. Where did Calen find those things?
Breakfast and talk sounds good.
He laughed at Calen’s response.
Dirty subbie thinks punishment sounds good too…can’t hide that from me
Finishing up his coffee, Brent picked up his phone again.
No idea what you’re talking about.
Laughing, Brent rinsed out his cup and grabbed his phone before heading back to the bedroom. As he started getting ready for the gym, his phone beeped signaling another text.
I know u too well…that innocent act is bullshit…got to be punished now for lying…naughty subbie
Brent couldn’t help but picture all the things that Calen might do to him. The man had a wic
ked sense of humor and an incredibly dirty mind, it could be anything. Hell, it could even be something simple just to make Brent overthink it and drive himself nuts.
Yes, Sir. I’m sorry I was bad. Are you going to have to spank me? Bend me over your lap and punish me?
Two could play this game, Brent smirked.
Don’t think that would be a punishment for u subbie…I think u’d like that…maybe if u r good then u can beg for one…
Brent couldn't wait to figure out where Calen was getting the naughty emoji’s from. His phone certainly didn’t come with anything like what Calen had. This time he’d sent Brent a picture of a little bottom that looked like it had been spanked. It was waving back and forth like someone was bent over mooning him.
Where did you get those from? My phone did not come with BDSM emojis.
Calen just sent back another cartoon image of a smiley face laughing before texting another note.
See u at the gym subbie
Shaking his head, Brent’s only thought was that Calen was going to drive him crazy. He just hoped Calen could behave while they were there. Brent was out, and he’d never had any issues working out, but Calen always pushed the limits. Brent knew that all he could do was keep his fingers crossed. Hopefully, Calen would remember that Brent needed to keep a low profile when it came to the lifestyle.
****
Brent was surprised at how well Calen was behaving himself. Aside from a few teasing looks and flirting comments, the Dom had been surprisingly tame. It made Brent slightly paranoid. Calen had to be plotting something. Anytime he controlled himself this well, it was usually because he was planning something. The calm before the storm.
What was he up to?
They’d arrived at the gym as the morning rush was starting to subside. Once they’d started running on the treadmill, there were only a handful of people still there. Most of them seemed to be the mom crowd.
Brent didn’t care who was in the gym, but it made working out go faster since there wasn’t a line on any of the weights and machines he usually used. By the time they’d finished working out, he was starving and relieved that Calen had behaved himself.
Brent: A M/m BDSM Romance (Bound & Controlled Book 2) Page 5
