The Suck Stops Here

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The Suck Stops Here Page 11

by Kristen Painter


  Fixing problems was something she’d genuinely come to love. Making bad situations better. And making people happy. Those were things that helped her feel like she was making up for all the bad things that had happened during her marriage to Joe. But that was only possible because of her job as governor.

  She closed the fridge. She couldn’t leave this job. She just couldn’t. The only way that might happen is if she was forced to become queen. The job was too important to her. All because of the work it allowed her to accomplish. Claudette would never have taken Rixaline in, and look how that had turned out. Peace with the local fae.

  Donna exhaled softly. She had to figure out how to get Fitzhugh off her back but also how to turn down the Prime without making an enemy of him. Both seemed impossible, but she wouldn’t accept that. “Charlie? Pierce? Can I see you in my room for a few minutes?”

  Pierce put his tablet aside and got up immediately. “Sure.”

  Charlie nodded and tapped something on her keyboard. “Just let me save this work, and I’ll be there.”

  “Thank you.” Donna went back to her room, Pierce behind her. She sat at the head of the bed, leaning back against the wall. He sat on the corner, facing her.

  A moment later, Charlie entered.

  “Shut the door, please,” Donna said.

  Charlie did, then leaned against the wall. “What’s going on?”

  Donna shook her head. “I don’t want to stop being governor. I can’t. I need this job so that I can continue to help people. But as you know, I need to find a way to turn down the Prime without making an enemy of him. Fitzhugh is already enough of an enemy. I don’t need another. And speaking of that arrogant jerk, I need a solution for him as well. There has to be a way to navigate both of these situations diplomatically. I don’t know what that is, but that’s why I want this to be your top priority until both issues are solved.”

  Charlie and Pierce nodded.

  Donna stuck her legs out in front of her and crossed them at the ankles. “I realize what I’m asking is pretty monumental, but we have a lot of time on our hands during this trip, and we have to be able to come up with something.”

  “I agree,” Charlie said.

  “Good.” Donna looked at her admin. “How long before we reach Indiana?”

  Charlie checked her watch. “About eleven hours until we’re in Timberville. Which will put us there in the morning. I’ve reserved a spot at a campground near there, so once we arrive, we’ll all probably crash for a bit. Will for sure, after all that driving. There’s really nothing else for anyone to do until you have dinner at the Millers at 6 p.m.”

  Pierce tipped his head. “Do you still want to drive by their house, or do you feel like you know them well enough from the Google search?”

  “The Google search was enough. No need to drive by.” Donna didn’t want to think about that dinner just yet. “So where do we start with Fitzhugh?”

  Pierce sighed. “What about just talking to him? I know it’s been suggested before, but honestly, it’s all I can think of.”

  “I don’t hate the idea,” Donna said. “But Fitzy isn’t known for his conversational skills. It’s always a battle with him. Trying to get one up. Making sure he has the last word. You know how it is.”

  Pierce nodded. “I do.”

  A few moments of silence ticked by as they all tried to think of an alternative.

  Suddenly, Charlie sucked in a breath. “I have an idea.”

  Donna swung her legs down so her feet touched the floor and she could sit up straighter. “What is it?”

  Charlie shook her head. “No, never mind. It’s a terrible idea. I mean, really bad. It could come back to bite us, big-time. Sorry, Governor. Forget I said anything.”

  Rampant curiosity spun through Donna like a small tornado. “Charlene Rollins, out with it. That’s an order.”

  Charlie smirked. “You’ll be surprised it even entered my head.”

  “Spill it,” Pierce urged her.

  Charlie took a breath. “You know how the Prime’s emissary paid you a visit? I was just thinking, what if he did the same thing to Fitzhugh? Who else has enough power to intimidate that man? No one else I can think of but the emissary. If not the Prime himself.”

  Donna narrowed her eyes. “I agree, but back up. How would we convince the emissary to visit Fitzhugh? Or for that matter, get the emissary to do our bidding during that meeting? And how do I get him to do me a favor without agreeing to accept the nomination for queen? Not to mention, this would have to happen soon.”

  Charlie paced the short distance to the other side of the room. “I know it would have to be soon. During this trip, really. We’d have to find a time during the funeral events for the emissary to visit Fitzhugh. And then we’d need the emissary to fill his head with the idea of being king, except he’d also need to mention that the altercations Fitzhugh is currently involved in aren’t sitting well with the Prime. Say that the Prime wants him to turn over a new, more benevolent leaf.”

  Pierce nodded. “Basically convince him that his charges against the governor and me make him look petty and vindictive and not like king material.”

  Charlie pointed at him. “Exactly.”

  Donna held her hands up. “Hold on a second. You still haven’t explained how we’re going to get the emissary to do this. You two make it sound like we can just call him up and ask for a favor. What makes you think any of us are capable of that? Or that he’d be willing?”

  Charlie stopped moving. “He is your father.”

  “Was my father,” Donna corrected her. “And doesn’t seem to have any real desire to retake that title.”

  “He kind of owes you,” Pierce said.

  “He definitely owes me,” Donna agreed. “But he doesn’t care. He’s completely entrenched in his new life as the Prime’s errand boy. I don’t think for a second he’d do it. He might not even take my call, unless he thinks it’s to answer the queen question. And like I said, if he did this, I would be beholden to him in a major way. No. Charlie, it was an interesting solution, but keep thinking. At least you’re giving us something to talk about.”

  Pierce got an odd look on his face. “Maybe we don’t need the emissary. Not the real one, anyway.”

  Donna frowned, already sensing a worse idea was on the rise. “Meaning?”

  Pierce stared toward the front of the RV, his gaze taking on a faraway look. “Harper’s a pretty talented witch. If she could come up with a spell that could change the way I look, who’s to say I couldn’t be the emissary? Fitzhugh doesn’t know what the man looks like. For that matter, I could say I was the Prime. I wouldn’t. Just using that as an example.”

  Donna just sat there for a moment, a little shocked by what he was suggesting. “You’re actually saying you’d impersonate the emissary?”

  He glanced at her. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

  Charlie wrapped her arms around her torso. “That’s an even worse idea than my original one. It’s truly dreadful. And dangerous. But it might work. Which would technically make it a great bad idea.”

  Donna’s mouth fell open. “What’s gotten into you two?”

  Pierce leaned back a little, looking pretty pleased with himself. “You told us to find a solution.”

  Donna got to her feet. “But not one that would put you in danger. Or all of us in jeopardy. Can you imagine what would happen if Fitzhugh figured it out?”

  Charlie took a step forward. “We’d keep it short and simple. We wouldn’t give him a chance to figure it out.”

  Pierce nodded. “And what’s he going to do? Tell people the emissary paid him a visit?”

  Donna nodded. “That’s exactly what he’d do. He’d probably add it to his business cards.” She stretched her hands out as if there were a sign before her. “Hawke Fitzhugh, governor of New York. Once visited by the Prime’s emissary.”

  Pierce shrugged. “Then we’d make it clear that the visit is confidential. That if one hin
t of it gets out, he forfeits his right to ever be considered for the throne again.”

  Charlie nodded. “That would do it.”

  “Wow,” Donna said. “I had no idea you two had such deviousness in you. I’m impressed. And slightly freaked out. I may never look at either one of you the same again.”

  Charlie lifted her chin slightly, clearly pleased with herself. “Governor, I have one goal. To protect you. Right now, Fitzhugh is your greatest obstacle. If you step away from this job, from all politics, I’m not sure I could work for another governor. I’d probably go back to the private sector.”

  “She’s right,” Pierce said. “You are our number one priority.”

  Donna shook her head. “Thank you, but this feels like it could go wrong in ways we can’t even imagine. Think about it. We’d have to bring Harper in on this, too, which means she’d know. And how would she not tell her father?”

  “So?” Pierce laughed softly. “You saved her father’s life. I’m pretty sure she’d do whatever you asked of her. And they would keep their mouths shut. It’s just as important to them that you remain governor.”

  “I don’t know.” Donna didn’t like any of it. But she could see how it would solve her Fitzhugh problem. “It’s dangerous.”

  Pierce nodded. “It absolutely is. But I’m willing to take the risk.”

  She put her hand on his shoulder. “Thank you. I love you for that. But I don’t know if I’m willing to let you take that risk. If something happened, if Fitzhugh realized it wasn’t the emissary standing before him, I’m afraid Fitzhugh would kill you.”

  Pierce took a breath. “He might try. And it certainly wouldn’t make things better between you if he figured out our ruse. But I still think it’s a viable option. Will you at least give it some thought?”

  Donna sank back down on the bed. “I guess. I don’t think a day or two is going to change my mind, though.”

  Charlie shrugged. “Maybe we’ll come up with a better idea by then. But in the meantime, at least we have one possibility.”

  Donna nodded again, but she wasn’t really agreeing. “Thank you. I think I’m going to read for a while.”

  They both understood they were being dismissed and left her room. A few minutes later, a soft knock on her door pulled her out of her thoughts.

  “Yes?”

  “It’s Cammie.”

  “Come in.”

  Cammie pushed the door open, then closed it behind her. “You want to watch a movie or something? Maybe play some cards?”

  Donna sighed. “I don’t know.”

  Cammie frowned. “What’s wrong? You look like air just escaped from your balloon.”

  Donna tipped her head toward the other side of the bed. “Sit down. I want to run something past you.”

  Cammie took a seat on the bed, leaning back against the wall like Donna was. “I’m listening.”

  Donna explained Charlie and Pierce’s scheme. “What do you think?”

  “I think it’s incredibly dicey, but it could work. What happens when he’s not elected king?”

  “Hopefully, nothing. Hopefully, things would stay calm.” Donna frowned. “You really think this could work? I mean, I can see that it might work, but the risk seems too high.”

  “You had me impersonate a Venari in an attempt to get Fitzhugh to cool off.”

  “But that was different. You were a Venari. There was no subterfuge involved, no magic required to make you seem like something you weren’t.”

  “You’re splitting hairs. Do you not trust Harper’s magic?”

  Donna thought about that a second. “I don’t trust Fitzhugh. What if he’s taken some kind of special precautions on this trip to protect himself from magical influence? Anything’s possible with him. I wouldn’t put anything past him. And I certainly don’t want Pierce to put his life on the line for me like that.”

  Cammie pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. “It’s your call. You’re the boss.”

  “But is it the right one? Am I being overly cautious?”

  “I can’t answer that. And I don’t want to. If I tell you to do it, and it goes sideways, then that makes me responsible for your people. I can’t take that on. It wouldn’t be fair to them. But there is something I can do.”

  Donna could understand Cammie not wanting to make such a big decision. “What’s that?”

  Cammie turned her head enough to see her sister. “I could take Pierce’s place. I could impersonate the emissary.”

  “That’s amazingly generous of you, but I don’t want anyone doing it. Not you or Pierce or anyone. It’s just a bad idea.” Donna shook her head. Cammie was fearless. “Let’s just watch a movie and not think for a while. Maybe the not thinking will let my subconscious brain come up with an idea.”

  “Fine with me. But the offer stands if you change your mind. What do you want to watch?”

  “I don’t know. I’m not sure what’s available. The satellite TV is supposed to have all kinds of stuff on demand.” She turned the TV on and scrolled through the selections. It didn’t take long for them to settle on an old childhood favorite.

  Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory.

  “Hang on.” Donna pressed pause. “We can’t watch this movie without snacks. Be right back.” She got up, then stopped at the door. “Do you have your phone?”

  Cammie nodded.

  “Text Christina and see if she wants to join us. I think she’s asleep, but it can’t hurt to ask.”

  “Okay.”

  Donna went out to the pantry. The lights on the RV had been turned down, and the vibe was very chill.

  Christina’s screen was showing blue now, and she’d curled up on her side, definitely asleep. Pierce was stretched out on the couch and looked to be dozing as well. Charlie had the recliner opened up a bit more but was still working on her laptop. She looked up at Donna and softly asked, “Do you need me?”

  Donna shook her head. “Just getting movie snacks.”

  Charlie went back to work. Harper was still sitting with her dad, and they were talking quietly. The road stretched out ahead of them, thankfully without too much traffic, although she imagined there would be even fewer cars as they moved farther west.

  She opened the pantry and raided it for a few select items, happy that Charlie had stocked these shelves with the same wild abandon as the ones in the penthouse. Donna grabbed a container of chocolate-covered raisins, a bag of Swedish fish, a bag of M&M’s, and a box of Junior Mints. Perfect movie food.

  She went back to the bedroom, leaving the door open a few inches so anyone who wanted to join them or needed to speak to her would feel welcome to come in.

  “No answer from Christina,” Cammie said.

  Donna nodded. “She’s passed out. Nacho coma.”

  Cammie laughed. “Probably.”

  “Here. Catch.” Donna tossed the bag of M&M’s. “We may end up in a coma of our own after this.”

  Cammie tore open the bag and popped a yellow one into her mouth. “I’ll run some laps around the RV this afternoon.”

  Donna settled back into her spot on the bed. “Sure you will.”

  “Of course, I will. Because you’re going to join me.”

  Donna pressed play, then pried the top off of the container of chocolate-covered raisins. “Maybe I will, actually. Might be a good way to burn off some nervous energy before meeting the Millers.”

  Cammie helped herself to a few of the raisins. “Are you nervous about that?”

  Donna nodded. “Yeah, I am. Only because of Joe and all the mob stuff that they’ve undoubtedly read about. I’m sure they have a preconceived notion about who I am and what I’m like, and they probably aren’t thrilled with any of it.”

  “That could be true. But don’t you have some preconceived notions about them?”

  “I do, you’re right.” The opening credits rolled past. “But if we’re going to be sharing a grandchild, I want things to be as cordial as possible between us.”


  Cammie smiled. “It’s going to be fine. I’ll say a few extra prayers for you.”

  “Thanks, Sister Mary Lazarus Immaculata.”

  Cammie popped another M&M. “Those were the days.”

  Donna’s phone vibrated. She checked the screen and saw a text from Rico Medina, the werewolf and FBI agent Donna had rescued from the fae.

  Could I swing by for a few minutes? I need to talk to you.

  He’d mentioned that at the funeral, but they’d never connected. Sorry, I’m on the road to the queen’s funeral. Do you want me to call you?

  No, it’s fine. It can wait. Have a safe trip, and I’ll talk to you when you get back.

  Okay.

  “Everything all right?” Cammie asked.

  Donna nodded. “Rico wants to talk to me about something, but he said it could wait.” She put her phone on the little nightstand.

  They watched the movie, binged on candy, and eventually fell asleep. Or at least Donna did. When she woke up, it was after 2 a.m., and Cammie was gone. Back to her own bunk, maybe?

  Donna hadn’t really meant to fall asleep, but after all that sugar and the gentle sway of the RV, it was no wonder.

  The bedroom light and the television were off, and the candy was stacked neatly on the far nightstand. Donna got up and slid the door open. The RV was just as dark as it had been before. Maybe darker. Several of the bunks had the privacy screens pulled shut.

  She walked past them, peering into the lounge. Pierce was still stretched out on the couch, but Charlie and Harper were gone. Christina had turned onto her other side.

  Donna went straight to the cockpit but kept her voice down. “Mind some company?”

  Will glanced up, shaking his head. “Not at all.”

  She slipped into the passenger’s seat, which was a captain’s chair style and very comfortable. She looked at him. He’d taken his jacket off and was just in a T-shirt now. “How’s it going?”

  “Good. We’ll be in Wheeling, West Virginia, in about half an hour or so.”

  “How are we on gas?”

  “Just fine.”

  She made a face in surprise. “Really?”

  He nodded. “This beast has a hundred-and-ten-gallon tank. We can do close to a thousand miles before we need to refuel.”

 

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