“I think it’ll be a long road, but I’m hopeful, yes,” Dr. Staal says. “Surgery will happen tomorrow morning. I’ll be doing it myself.”
“Thank you,” my mom says as Jude looks over at me. He’s wanting confirmation that Staal is the best option. He’s not going to let anyone but the best work on our dad. I give him a solid nod, because Staal is the best we have in orthopedics and even one of the best in the state.
“You can see him now,” Dr. Staal says. “We’ve moved him up to the fifth floor. Room fifty-eight.”
Everyone walks to the elevators. I pause by the women’s restroom. “I’ll meet you all up there.”
Jude glances at the restroom door. “Fixing your shirt so Dad doesn’t notice too?”
“Shut up! And yes,” I bark back and disappear into the restroom to sounds of my family laughing their dumb asses off.
15
Griffin
I glance at my phone. It’s been two hours since Sadie’s dad went in for surgery. Is that long enough to fix a hip? I wonder as I put my bag in the back seat next to Charlie’s booster seat and jump into the driver’s seat. The team leaves on a seven-day road trip this afternoon. Management has made the decision to send the entire coaching staff, which is rare, but we’ve been in a losing streak and we’re on the verge of falling out of playoff contention, so they’re pulling out all the stops.
Of course they didn’t tell us until this morning, and so I have to change my schedule with Charlie…which is going to give Lauren fodder for her custody case. Hunter swears it won’t be a big deal and that the case is still bullshit, but I still worry. A lot. I pull up in front of Lauren’s place and don’t see her car in the driveway. I should have called, but if I called she wouldn’t let me come over, and I wanted to say goodbye to Charlie myself. I’m at the point where I wonder if my messages to Charlie via Lauren are getting through.
Despite not seeing her car I head up the path to the front door. I ring the doorbell and wait. I’m there so long I’m positive she’s not home, so I pull my cell out of my pocket and sit on the swinging bench I installed on the porch for Lauren the day she moved in…when we were on better terms and trying to be actual friends. I start to text her, but then suddenly the front door opens and my daughter is standing there grinning with joy.
“Dad!” she squeals, delighted, and holds open her arms. “Bring it in!”
I laugh despite the fact I’m stunned she opened the front door by herself. I didn’t think Lauren let her do that. I don’t let her do that. “Hey, Charlie bug! Why are you opening the door by yourself?”
“Because I saw it was you on the security camera,” she explains. “I promise I wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t you. I remember what you told me.”
“Oh. Okay.” I pick her up, which she normally tells me she’s too old for now, but she doesn’t complain this time. “I came to say goodbye in person. I have to go on a business trip.”
“So I don’t get to go to the boat this weekend?” She looks devastated, and the blood pumping through my heart gets thick with guilt.
“Not this weekend. I’m gone until next week,” I explain, and her face falls even more. I suddenly wish I were an accountant or a lawyer like Hunter and could have more control over my schedule. Of course I’d be miserable, but maybe that’s the tradeoff. “I’m here to talk to Mom and see if I can come get you that night, as soon as I’m back, and we can go to the boat then.”
“Mom’s not here,” she says, still pouting.
I try not to show the concern on my face at her comment. “So Rosa is here?’
She shakes her head and wiggles to be put down. As I place her on the ground I’m struggling to stay calm. We had a rule. A verbal agreement that we both approve all sitters, and Rosa is the only one I’ve approved. “So who is home with you, nugget face?”
“My face is not a nugget, Dad!” she complains and crosses her arms.
I nudge her back into the house and step into the front hall with her. My eyes sweep what I can see, the front hall, stairs, the door to the kitchen, and a touch of the family room beyond it. “Who’s with you, Charlie?”
“Cale.”
“You’re here alone? With Cale?”
She senses my fury. She thinks she’s in trouble. She puts her little left thumb up to her mouth, like she’s going to suck it, but she doesn’t. “Mommy just went to do her hair and said she would be back soon.”
“Okay, baby.” I smile at her and run a hand over her head, her curls soft and springy under my hand. “Where is Cale?”
“In the den, but be quiet, Daddy. He’s napping,” she tells me cautiously.
“Are you f—” The obscenity dies on my lips as her innocent eyes star back at me. “Are you up for some ice cream?”
“Really?”
“Really.” I smile. “Let’s go. Mommy will meet us there.”
“Okay!” She heads back out the front door, bouncing toward my car, gleeful and without a care in the world…because she has no idea I am so upset I could explode right now.
I take her to the closest ice cream place, which is actually gelato, but she doesn’t know the difference. She orders a bowl of cookies and cream, and I text her mom as she eats it, explaining to me how she learned in school this week that zebras aren’t born with stripes. My text to Lauren is simple:
I’m at Casa Gelato with our daughter. Meet us. NOW.
She doesn’t respond, but I know she got it. She can sense the fury and also probably knows she doesn’t have a leg to stand on here. By the time Charlie is licking the ice cream bowl, Lauren’s Mercedes is parking next to my Rover.
She gets out of the car, fresh blowout catching the breeze, and saunters over to us casually. She smiles at Charlie. “Hey, Charlie! Did Daddy surprise you with ice cream?”
“Best surprise ever!” Charlie proclaims. “Other than a puppy.”
Oh, God…I ignore that and look at Lauren. “Let’s go to the park across the street for a second.”
“Cool!” Charlie jumps up. Today is such an unexpected treat for her but an unwanted, hate-filled battle for her parents. Welcome to divorce.
We follow her to the crosswalk, probably looking like a cute little urban family as we watch her look both ways and then hit the button and start to cross. As soon as we’re on the other side, Charlie runs straight for the jungle gym, and I turn to Lauren. She holds her manicured hand up to stop me before I can speak.
“You aren’t supposed to pick her up until tonight at six,” Lauren snaps. “You don’t get to break the arrangement to do spot checks on us. And for the record, I was gone forty minutes. Rosa couldn’t come in today and Cale, being the incredible boyfriend he is, volunteered to watch her.”
“Cale was passed out in the den,” I reply through teeth so gritted my jaw already aches. “He probably doesn’t even know we’re gone. She answered the door by herself. And I wasn’t checking up on you. I came to tell you and Charlie that I have a business trip and can’t make it tonight, or any night this week.”
“Are you insane?” Lauren’s fury now matches my own. “You can’t just take her out without telling Cale. He’s probably frantic right now looking for her.”
I chuff. “Yeah. So he called you? He’s worried about her? He’s awake? I fucking doubt it. And for the record, I didn’t approve him as a caregiver. We both need to approve her caregivers.”
“He’s not a caregiver, he’s my boyfriend. He’s part of the family now, whether you like it or not,” Lauren barks back. She pauses and puts on a fake smile as Charlie yells at us to watch her go down the slide.
“Good job, kiddo!” I call out, and she gives me a fist pump. God, I love this kid. I turn to Lauren, trying to remember Charlie wouldn’t exist without her. “I don’t care who you date, but I care who you leave alone with my daughter. I don’t want it to be Cale. Not right now. All I know about him is he thinks it’s appropriate to fall asleep in the middle of the afternoon while he’s tending to a six-year-old.
And that doesn’t work for me.”
“Well, switching our schedule whenever you want doesn’t work for me,” she snaps back. “Which is why I’m getting sole custody.”
“You aren’t,” I reply. “And you knew, the judge knew, everyone knew that my job would have some challenges. But we also both know your alimony is as high as it is because of this job, so you’re either flexible with me or I get a job that doesn’t require travel, that pays less. I’ll do it, Lauren. If it means you stop trying to take Charlie away. I will fucking do it.”
She frowns and turns away, focusing on Charlie as she swings from one monkey bar to the next like a champ. Lauren reaches up and runs a hand through her hair before adjusting her Gucci sunglasses. I know what she’s going to say next…because she loves Charlie but she also loves money. “Just go on your hockey trip, and you can see her when you get back. Even though this totally messes with my plans for the week.”
“You can have Hunter and Mia take her for a night or two. They’d love it and she’d love it and they’re approved caretakers,” I tell her calmly. I glance at my watch. Fuck, I have to go or I will miss the team plane.
“Charlie! I’ve got to fly!” I call out, and she starts to run over.
“I’m going to make a note of this to chat about at the hearing,” Lauren whispers, not willing to back the fuck down.
“You do that.” I nod. “Don’t forget to wake Cale up when you get home. He’s a sound sleeper.”
She tries to obliterate me with the glare. I bend down and hug my daughter. “Be good, Charlie, and call me whenever you want. I love you.”
“Love you too, Dad.” She hugs me back as fiercely as she does everything. I swear to God this girl is worth all the drama with her mom and so much more.
“No raisins,” I whisper, and she giggles as I squeeze her nose.
“What was that?” Lauren asks.
“Nothing,” I mutter and turn and walk away.
I call Hunter on the way to the airport. He’s in court so I call his wife, Mia, and update her on the situation. Mia is just as furious as I am that Lauren left Charlie alone with Cale, which makes me feel good. She also reassures me that Lauren pursuing this will do nothing but piss off the judge. Mia is a landscape architect, but I still value her opinion, and she calms me down.
At the airport I check my watch again. The flight doesn’t leave for forty minutes, and since we’re flying private, we don’t have a long security line. I get to the gate and find Jude and Eli instantly. I sigh in relief, because I know that if they’re both here, Sadie’s dad’s surgery went fine. I have been trying not to badger her with texts, but I’ve been thinking about her nonstop since she left me last night.
I decide now is the time to reach out again, since her dad must be out of surgery. I send her a quick text telling her I’m leaving on the road trip with the team and asking her how she’s holding up. By the time we have to board the plane, I haven’t gotten a response, and now I have to turn off my phone so I’m worried.
As I settle in my seat, Eli walks down the aisle, talking with his brother and team captain, Levi. I stand up, pretending I have to get something from my bag in the overhead bin. Levi squeezes by me, but as Eli passes I stop him. “Hey, do you have a minute?”
He nods. “Sure, Coach.”
I motion for him to sit beside me. I start by talking about the teams we’re facing on the road trip. It’s not that I don’t care about that—I do, and we need a good strategy—but I can talk about that later at practice. I’m only talking about it now so I can segue to something else. “How are you feeling?”
He nods. “One hundred percent.”
“No headaches?”
“None,” Eli says, and I stare at him, trying to read his face. I think he isn’t lying. He’s got that scar on his neck to remind him how serious injuries can be. “I’m good, Sully. I swear.”
“Speaking of recovery…” I clear my throat, which sounds as awkward as it feels. “How’s Dixie’s dad doing?”
He looks perplexed. “Mr. Braddock?”
I nod. “I heard he had a fall.”
“Yeah. How did you know?”
I shrug, trying to be nonchalant but not quite pulling it off. He looks even more puzzled. “I don’t remember. I might have overheard the coach talking about it or Jude or something. Anyway, I was just wondering how he’s doing.”
“Good,” Eli says. “He had surgery this morning, and he’s in recovery and didn’t have any complications. Jude wanted to stay home, but of course he can’t. And Sadie insisted it wasn’t necessary. She promised she’d update him daily and keep the rest of the sorority sane.”
“Sorority?”
Eli laughs. “That’s what Jude calls his sisters. You’d get it if you saw the three of them together. They’re like this hive-minded girl gang. They torture him and protect him at the exact same time and, honestly, I’d say it’s one of the most dysfunctional functioning families ever. Cracks me up.”
“Do you have sisters?” I ask, still trying to cover my curiosity about Sadie’s family.
“Nope. Just Levi and my brother Todd, so this sister thing is foreign to me,” he says, and luckily his skepticism seems to be quelled now.
“We’ll talk more about strategy at the practice when we land,” I say, essentially dismissing him. He gets up and makes his way back to a seat next to his brother, but I can’t help wondering if he’s going to wonder about my invasive questions again.
Damn. I now get to spend the rest of the four-hour flight worrying I might have just made Sadie’s life harder…or made my goalie think I’m some kind of weirdo.
16
Sadie
This has been the longest week of my life,” I confess to Griffin as I lean back on the gross old couch in the nurses’ lounge. It’s vinyl and a color that can only be described as baby poop, at least according to the NICU nurses. It’s got stains that can’t be wiped off and an ugly tear in the left arm. Normally I avoid it and sit in one of the plastic chairs around the long table near the fridge, but I’m just so damn tired. So tired I’m confessing my true feelings to a guy I barely know. I sigh into the phone. “Sorry. I must sound so overdramatic, and I shouldn’t be dumping on you.”
“You don’t and this isn’t dumping,” he says and his tone is soothing without being patronizing. “Your family is going through something big.”
“Yeah, but you don’t have to hear about all my family drama.”
“I don’t have to, but I want to,” he replies firmly. “You don’t have to keep things bottled up.”
“How’s Charlie? She must have been happy to see you.” I’m very ready to change the subject.
“She was thrilled,” Griffin says, and I can hear the relief in his voice. “We had a really fun night. I dropped her off at school this morning and I’ll have her back on the weekend,” Griffin says. “But for now the team is on a break for a couple days, and I was hoping you might be free tonight?”
“I am.” I have never been so excited for a day off before in my life.
“So it’s a date then,” he confirms.
“Yes.” I feel instantly better—happier, more awake, more alive. “When and where?”
“I can pick you up from work if you’re down with that, and we can just go grab a bite and a drink and see where the night leads,” he replies, and I really like the open-ended way that statement ends.
“That works,” I reply. I’m grinning like a lunatic—a horny lunatic. I glance at the industrial clock on the wall. “I have to get back. My break is about to end.”
“Tonight, love,” he promises. I hang up and take a deep, grounding breath. I’m not sure what’s more ridiculous, the fact that he calls me “love” when we’ve only known each other for a few weeks or the fact that when he says it, I feel euphoric.
Unfortunately the feeling doesn’t last. My shift is chaos. The ER is packed with everything from toddlers with stomach bugs to heart attacks and car accidents. If
I wasn’t on a day shift I would go outside and look for a full moon. I have to call for a neuro doctor twice because of head injuries, and Dr. Luongo is the one who responds. Bob is friendly and cracks a couple jokes with me, which is great. It’s the first I’ve seen him since he asked me out, and I’m so glad nothing’s changed and we really can be friends.
The day is so crazy that I don’t have time to run upstairs and say a quick hello to my dad. My shift finally ends, and I’m blissfully off the clock for seventy-two hours. I change into street clothes—boyfriend jeans and an oversize T-shirt with some floral Toms. I normally just come and go in my scrubs, but keep this outfit in my locker as backup for when I have days like this and my scrubs are covered in something gross—in this case, toddler puke—and I can’t commute in them. I wish I’d brought something fancier or sexier as a backup outfit, but it is what it is. My excitement over spending time with Griffin trumps my insecurity. I hum to myself as I head out of the nurses’ lounge.
“Hey!” I look up from where I’ve frozen with my purse and my coat in my hand near the nurses’ station. Jude is walking toward me. “Have to give any creepy old guys a sponge bath?”
“Yeah, but I like it. Old creepy men turn me on,” I tell him and lean forward, darkening my expression. “The more back hair the better. I love to run my hands through it, and sometimes I don’t use the sponge to clean them…I use my tongue.”
“Stop! You need a better sense of humor,” he lectures, and I swear his complexion is green. “Gross is not always funny.”
“Really? Then why does your expression when I talk like that make me laugh so hard?” I ask, giggling. “Here to see Dad?”
“I’ve already seen him,” he says. “When I wheeled him over to the diner across the street for dinner with the family.”
“What?” My heart stops. I realize how vehemently I don’t want to share Griffin with my family. I want to keep him all for myself. I want time to savor this new relationship.
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