Tom’s head wagged in a frantic “no” as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and held it up for Dug to see. “No! Magic rock no more magic! Just rock! See?”
Tom pressed the buttons on the dead phone, then handed it to Dug.
Dug’s eyes widened. He poked at the phone’s buttons himself.
“Magic rock no magic?” he asked.
“NO!” Tom and Marisa yelled it together. “MAGIC ROCK NO MAGIC!”
Just then, a second and much louder roar reached their ears.
Tooka was getting closer.
Dug looked down at the phone. Then he turned and looked back at the pit, just a few steps behind them.
He scratched his chin thoughtfully.
Then he looked at Marisa. “Tooka. Pit.” Beckoning for her to follow, he walked over to the pit.
Marisa couldn’t imagine they had enough time to build the trap before the tiger showed up. But they had to try, or somebody was going to get eaten.
She followed the clan leader to the edge of the pit.
“Tooka trap?” she asked him.
“Marsha pit,” Dug answered.
Then he threw her into the pit.
Marisa tumbled to the bottom of the ten-foot-deep pit, landing hard on her side. She was too stunned to scream.
Tom wasn’t. “AAAAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEE!” she heard him shriek.
Back at ground level, Tom stared at Dug in horror.
“WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!” he yelled.
“Tom urf Tooka nurf Marsha dadurf,” Dug explained.
If Tom could speak caveperson, he would’ve understood what Dug was saying: “Tom, your childlike scream of horror makes me think you’re probably a little confused about our belief system. So let me explain. I’m going to try to do this quickly, because if we stand out here too much longer, there’s a good chance we’ll be eaten by a tiger.
“We are a primitive, frightened, and easily confused people. When something has great power to hurt us—whether it’s a volcano, a bolt oflightning, or a man-eating tiger—it freaks us out. So our standard reaction to that kind of power is to bow down and worship it. We’re basically thinking, ‘If we pray to you, maybe you won’t hurt us.’
“For a pretty long time now—years, really—we’ve been worshipping Tooka the tiger. Haven’t you seen the drawing on the cave wall, with all of us holding our hands in the air, getting ready to bow down to a giant Tooka?
“Frankly, it’s been kind of a mixed bag. Worshipping Tooka hasn’t exactly stopped him from eating us. But over the years, we’ve come to an understanding with him that gives us a little bit of control over the process.
“The deal we have with Tooka is that when he gets hungry, he roars to give us a heads-up. It’s basically a ‘Hey, put some food on the table!’ roar. We dug this pit, which is too deep for a human to climb out of, but not too deep for a tiger. And when we hear him coming, we throw a tribe member into the pit. Then Tooka comes along, jumps in the pit, eats the person at the bottom of it, then jumps out again and goes about his day.
“On the one hand, it’s a bad deal for whoever’s in the pit. But on the other hand, it’s a good deal for the rest of us. Because it lets us—and by ‘us,’ I mean me, because I’m in charge here—make the decision about who Tooka gets to eat.
“Usually, I just toss in the most annoying person in the tribe. I think we can all agree that right now, it’s Marsha. All that ‘don’t poop in the cave!’ and ‘let’s do some weird stuff with seeds in the ground!’ business didn’t exactly make her a lot of friends around here.
“Interestingly enough, up until thirty seconds ago, there’s NO WAY I ever would’ve tossed Marsha in there. Because when you guys first showed up, and you somehow defeated Tooka, and you had a magic rock? Well, this is obviously a little embarrassing now, but the whole thing had me thinking YOU were a god, or at least your rock was. And we should be worshipping you and your rock instead of Tooka.
“Crazy, right? I know. But it seemed to fit the facts. And we were pretty excited about it! I mean, in all the time we’ve been worshipping Tooka, he never once taught us anything as cool as Rockball. So we were thinking we’d really traded up here.
“But then your magic rock died. So we’re back to square one—worshipping Tooka, leaving him human sacrifices, the whole deal.
“Anyway, once Marsha’s screams have died out and Tooka’s done eating her, I think we’ll be able to look back on all this and laugh. In the short term, though, we should get inside the cave. Because what’s about to happen in that pit isn’t going to be pretty. And if Tooka sees us just standing here yakking, he might eat us, too. He’s kind of a jerk that way. Let’s go.”
Dug turned and headed for the cave entrance. Dumbfounded, Tom stared at him for a moment, then rushed to the edge of the pit.
“Are you okay?” he called down to Marisa.
“No! I’m stuck in a pit! With a tiger coming!”
“Don’t worry! I’ll get you out of there!”
“How?”
“I have no idea!” Then he thought for a second. “Wait—how about a vine? I can get a vine from a tree and use it to pull you out!”
“Yes! Hurry!”
Tom ran off, past the cave entrance and into the forest.
Marisa barely had a moment to wonder if he’d get back in time. Another roar erupted from the bottom of the clearing, so loud and close it hurt her ears.
Tom wasn’t going to get back in time.
The tiger was coming for her.
WHOA! I didn’t see this plot twist coming! See Storytelling 101: A Big Twist!
Saber-toothed tigers have an outstanding sense of smell. Even from the far end of the clearing, Tooka’s nose told him that Floral Essence was trapped in the pit. Not only that, but a lingering scent of Cool Breeze All Day was wafting over to him from the woods above the cave entrance.
A plan for the day quickly unfolded in Tooka’s mind. He’d toy with Floral Essence for a bit, have a little snack—half a leg, maybe, just enough for some quick energy. Then he’d leave her writhing in agony at the bottom of the pit while he hunted Cool Breeze in the forest. He’d enjoy a little cat-and-human game with Cool Breeze, let him think he could actually escape. Then he’d pounce on him from out of nowhere, eat part of an arm, and “accidentally” set him free so Cool Breeze could try to run away again, which was always terribly amusing.
After a few hours, he’d settle down to a full meal of whoever tasted better. Then he’d drag the other one back to his lair for leftovers.
It’d be the perfect combination of food and fun.
Tooka slowly padded across the clearing toward the pit, letting the drool run down his teeth as he savored the thought of what was about to happen.
At the bottom of the pit, Marisa was also focused on what was about to happen—and, most importantly, whether there were any versions of what-happens-next that didn’t end with her gruesome and bloody death.
She looked around for a way out. There was nothing. Just ten-foot-high dirt walls, a few scattered bones—human bones? almost definitely—and the sharpened stake that she’d been holding when Dug pushed her into the pit.
The bones were useless.
The stake, however…
As Tooka approached, he could hear frantic, breathless digging coming from the bottom of the pit. Floral Essence was clawing at the dirt, desperate to escape.
How tragic! How hilarious! This meant Floral Essence was going to put up a struggle, which would make for even more fun.
Just before he reached the edge of the pit, the digging stopped. He peered down inside at his prey.
Floral Essence looked up at him with terror in her eyes. She was smack in the middle of the pit, contorted in an odd position. Her legs were bent in a crouch, but her back was so straight it nearly arched.
How strange. Was she injured? Tooka hoped not. He preferred to do the injuring himself.
He uttered a long, low growl. The sound of it made Floral Essence’s
eyes widen even more. Her whole body was shaking with fear. Good stuff!
Tooka shifted his weight back on his haunches, preparing to pounce.
Not too fast, though—better to let her escape the initial attack. After all, she wasn’t going anywhere.
Marisa was trying not to tremble, but she couldn’t help it. The tiger was staring down at her, saliva dripping from its massive curved teeth. She saw Tooka rear back, getting ready to pounce on her.
Marisa crouched a little lower, tensing her muscles for her own leap.
Tooka pushed off with his back legs and leaped, front paws splaying out in front of him. As he closed the distance between them, he saw Floral Essence leap out of the way, diving toward the far side of the pit.
Perfect! He’d land on all fours, then slowly corner her against the wall.
But wait…
Not all of her had leaped out of the way.
She’d left something behind.
Something long and rigid. It was stuck firmly in the ground, just short enough that he hadn’t seen it behind her back when he began his jump.
He was going to land directly on top of it, with the full force of his body.
And it looked rather…sharp.
Bonk! Marisa had put so much muscle into her leap that she hit her head on the far wall of the pit. As she crumpled to the ground, she heard a noise behind her.
It was like nothing she’d ever heard before. Sudden, loud, and sharp—and yet somehow squishy and wet at the same time. It was sort of a…
SQUUUICK!
As his four paws hit the ground—not quite as hard and fast as they should have—Tooka heard the noise, too.
More than that, he felt it. It was a horrible feeling—a sudden, burning pain that shot from his belly all the way up through his back.
It felt like someone had just driven a stake through his entire body.
He jerked his head back to turn around, only to discover that he couldn’t turn…because, much to his surprise, someone HAD just driven a stake through his entire body.
Tooka was pinned like an appetizer on some giant toothpick.
He looked back at Floral Essence, staring wide-eyed at him. She didn’t seem terrified anymore. Instead, she looked amazed. Shocked, even.
Not as shocked as he was.
SHE was supposed to be the appetizer! Not him!
In an instant, it had all gone horribly wrong.
This was definitely the worst day of Tooka’s life.
It was also the last.
WHOOO! That was exciting! See Storytelling 101: Trying! Failing. Trying Again!
Her heart hammering against her ribs, Marisa slumped back against the wall of the pit as she watched the life go out of the tiger’s eyes.
She’d done it! She’d killed a man-eating tiger!
And now she was stuck inside a pit with a man-eating tiger corpse.
She wasn’t sure what to do next. It was a very unusual situation.
Dug stood just inside the cave, staring out at the pit with the rest of his clan. They’d all watched Tooka leap inside, and they were waiting for the screams of agony that always followed.
But this time, there hadn’t been any screams. All they’d heard was a strange noise that sounded like squuuick. And then…nothing.
Was she too frightened to scream? Had Tooka ripped out her throat? If so, why hadn’t they heard the sound of her flesh being torn apart?
Dug tapped his foot impatiently. He wanted to get this over with so they could go back to playing Rockball.
Tom sprinted back into the clearing with a long, thick vine coiled in his hands. He expected to find a tiger advancing toward the pit.
But there was no tiger anywhere in sight. Tom ran to the edge of the pit and looked down.
“OHMYGOSH!”
Marisa beamed up at him. “I did it! I killed the tiger! He tried to kill me, but I killed him!”
Tom was amazed. “WOW! You’re a rock star!”
“Can you help me out of here?”
“Oh! Right!” Tom tossed down one end of the vine. Marisa grabbed hold, and he hoisted her up out of the pit.
They hugged. Ordinarily, neither of them was the hugging type, but it seemed appropriate.
“How did you do it?” Tom asked.
“I dug the stake into the ground. Then I crouched in front of it until the tiger started to jump on me. When he did, I leaped out of the way.”
“That’s amazing! You’re like a superhero!”
They heard a voice.
“Tooka?”
It was Dug. He was gingerly walking toward them, keeping a wary eye on the pit. The rest of the clan was a few feet behind him, looking confused and frightened.
“Tooka dead!” Marisa told him, grinning from ear to ear.
Dug reached the edge of the pit and looked down. His eyes widened.
“Marsha…kill…Tooka?”
Tom and Marisa both nodded happily.
Dug’s face darkened. “DUG KILL MARSHA!”
The smiles vanished. Dug started toward Marisa, raising his hands in an “I’m-going-to-strangle-you” gesture.
Shocked, Marisa turned and sprinted for the trees as Tom stepped between her and Dug. “No, Dug! No kill Marsha!”
“Kill Marsha!” Dug repeated, trying to step around Tom.
Tom moved the same way, blocking him. “No! Why?”
“Ooga Tooka booga Marsha!” Dug yelled.
Lacking any formal training in caveperson language, Tom had no way of knowing what this meant, which was: “Are you kidding me? Do you know how many years my clan spent worshipping Tooka? We had a real history together! Oh, sure, we had our differences. He ate a lot of us. It wasn’t ideal. That’s why we were willing to take a chance on worshipping you and your magic rock instead.
“But you can’t go telling us your magic rock is dead and we shouldn’t worship you—and then kill our tiger god! Where does that leave us? We’ve got nobody left to worship! It’s anarchy! So you’ll excuse me if I feel personally obligated to avenge the death of our tiger god by killing Marsha.”
With that, Dug shoved Tom out of the way and started to run after Marisa.
“Dug! Stop!” Tom yelled.
Dug didn’t stop. Tom had to think quickly. What could distract Dug from killing Marisa?
“Rockball, Dug! ROCKBALL!”
Dug stopped, pulling up short a few yards from the trees. In his anger, he’d forgotten about the Rockball final. He looked back at his tribe. Then at the forest where Marisa had just disappeared.
Then he nodded. “Rockball.”
There would be plenty of time to avenge his tiger god after the game.
Marisa sprinted through the forest, her lungs burning from the effort. The day before, while searching for branches to turn into stakes, she’d passed a cave on a hillside about halfway between the clan’s camp and the lake where they’d first landed. The little cave was narrow and deep, making it a perfect hiding place.
Except for the bats.
There were over a hundred of them, asleep in a crevice in the back. When a red-faced, out-of-breath Marisa stumbled into the cave, she woke them up. The bats all took flight in a panic, flitting past her as she ducked and covered her head with her arms.
Oh, great. Bats.
At least they’re better than people. Bats won’t try to kill me for no reason.
Marisa couldn’t understand what had gone wrong. Killing that tiger should’ve been a triumph. She’d saved the tribe!
But instead of thanking her, Dug had tried to kill her.
It made no sense. It was totally unfair.
Marisa started to cry. Once she got started, it was hard to stop. She sobbed until her whole body shook.
She wasn’t just crying over Dug wanting to kill her…or being all alone in a bat-infested cave…or being stuck forever in 10,000 B.C. thanks to a time machine that had completely upstaged her whole life’s work.
She was crying over all of it.
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All she’d ever done was try to help people. She’d invented a solar panel to try and help mankind solve its energy and environmental problems. It had taken her ten years to do this! She’d showed the cave people how to plant crops so they wouldn’t starve. She’d saved them from a man-eating tiger!
And what did she get for it, every single time? Ignored. Or worse. Sometimes much worse.
She cried so hard she almost didn’t hear Tom calling her name.
“Marisa?!” Tom yelled as he wandered through the forest. “It’s me! Tom! Are you there? Marisa?”
A distant, sorrowful voice finally replied. “Over here.”
Tom followed the sound of her voice to the little cave entrance. It took him a moment to realize how upset she was.
“Hi!”
“Hey.”
“Are you okay?”
“Not really,” Marisa said with a sniffle. She wiped her tears on her dirty sleeve. “Do they still want to kill me?”
“Hard to tell. They’re playing Rockball now.” Tom sat down next to her. “I’ll try to talk to them. It’s kinda hard, though. I don’t really speak caveman.”
Marisa shook her head, defeated. “What’s the point?”
“Well, it seems like we need to get along with them. I mean, it’s been kind of a while now, and nobody’s shown up to rescue us…” Tom lowered his voice. “I’m starting to think we might be stuck here.”
“I’ve been telling you that all along! Nobody’s coming back for us.”
Tom thought for a moment. “Maybe we could build our own time machine.”
Marisa was dumbfounded. “Out of what? Rocks and sticks?”
“We’ll figure it out! Right now, we’re the two smartest scientists in the history of the world!”
Emotionally wrecked as she was, Tom’s can-do optimism made Marisa even angrier than usual. “You’re not a scientist, Tom,” she said in a bitter, seething voice.
Stuck in the Stone Age Page 8
