Indignation filling her, Parker willed strength into her limbs as she straightened from the wall. “What the fuck, Tyler?” Ignoring his look of surprise at her language, she ranted on. “You keep doing this. Coming onto me and then pulling away. Every time. I want you, bad, but I’m not the one initiating this. You are. You pull me close one moment and then push me away the next. Make up your damn mind already!”
The room echoed with her words. Ty looked like he was struggling for words, opening and closing his mouth. Parker’s shoulders drooped as just as suddenly as her anger had appeared, it drained out of her and hurt and sadness took its place.
“Maybe staying here wasn’t such a good idea. I can go stay at my parent’s house. We can still get to know each other, and it would stop all of this.” She moved toward the door, placing her hand on the knob but not opening it yet. Back still to him, she said, “You know, if you don’t want to touch me… If the sight of my growing belly disgusts you, you don’t have to touch me. You don’t have to kiss me. No matter how much I’ve wanted it, I never asked for it. And my belly is only going to get bigger. Maybe you should get used to that.”
Parker twisted the knob, frowning when it wouldn’t open. Looking up, she saw that Ty was there, one big arm on the door, holding it shut. He could sure move fast when he wanted to. Maybe that was a wolf thing.
“Is that what you think, Parker? That you disgust me? That your belly disgusts me?” He crowded into her, pushing the impressive erection he still sported into her back. “Does that feel like disgust to you? How could you think that?” He backed up from the door and Parker turned around to look at him.
“What else am I supposed to think, Ty? You kiss me and then pull away. And it’s usually after you’ve felt my body against yours. That first time was after you’d touched my belly with your hand.”
Ty shook his head. “Parker, no. It’s not that. Never that. You’ve always been gorgeous, but the sight of you, belly swelling with my baby… it just makes you even more beautiful. More potent. I like it. More than you can imagine.”
Parker felt relief filling her. He didn’t think she was gross. She frowned as confusion set in. “Then what is it, Ty? Why do you keep pulling away, when we both want you to keep going?”
He exhaled heavily, closing his eyes tight for a moment. “Come sit down with me and we’ll talk. Talking about emotional shit has never been a strong suit of mine, but I obviously owe you an explanation.”
Emotional shit? Well now she was even more curious. Parker walked to his bed and sat down, finally looking around her as she did so. Ty’s room was as masculine as he was, all browns and navy blues, and stark. There were no decorations, no pictures on the walls. Just furniture. The bed dipped as Ty sat down, and Parker turned sideways to face him.
“Okay, so… it’s.. well…” Ty groaned, running his hands through his hair and tugging on the strands in frustration.
“What is it, Ty? You know you can tell me anything,” she said softly.
Ty sighed. “I think I need to give you some backstory so you understand why I feel this way.”
“Okay. Go on.”
“I’ve never talked about this before, so bear with me. Do you remember Cassie Larson?”
“I remember her. She was always one of the nicer girls in school, even though she was one of the popular crowd. She dated Jared Montgomery.”
One side of Ty’s mouth kicked up in a half smile. “Yeah, that sounds like her. Me, Cassie and Jared were close. Best friends. And yeah, she was with Jared, but I… Well, I loved her, too.”
Parker sucked in a breath. That, she hadn’t known. She was going up against some steep competition, even though she knew Cassie had passed away three or four years ago. Cassie had been everything Parker wasn’t. Gregarious and outgoing, she’d had an effervescent personality and had never met a stranger. Not to mention, she’d been beautiful, unlike Parker, who had always been on the plain side. Cassie had been curvy, too, but she’d had pleasing curves, not like Parker’s overblown ones, what most would call on the chubby side.
Oh yeah. She couldn’t compete with that.
“She chose Jared, of course,” Ty continued. “I never really thought she’d choose me, but I had to try. I never held it against either of them, though. They loved each other, and I wanted them to be happy.” He paused for a moment before taking a breath and then carrying on. “About four years ago, Cassie became pregnant. And then… she died. The baby died. Both of them, gone in the blink of an eye.”
Parker sucked in a breath. She’d forgotten that part, that Cassie had been pregnant when she died. This explained so much about Ty’s overreactions when he thought she was doing too much.
“I’m sure you’ve probably pieced together some shit,” Ty said. She snapped her eyes to him and saw that he was wearing a wry smile. “Why I flip my shit when I think you’re doing something that could hurt you or the baby. Hu—pregnant women are fragile. You could get hurt or lose the baby so easily. So much could happen.”
Parker reached over and laid her hand on his clenched fist. “There’s always a risk, but the likelihood is actually very small, Ty. I don’t take risks. The things you’ve worried about me doing are nothing. I would never, ever, do anything that might harm this baby.” Her other hand went to her belly and she watched as Ty’s eyes followed the movement. “I love him or her already. I’d die for this baby.”
His eyes snapped to hers. “Don’t say that. Neither one of you are going to die.”
Parker winced. She hadn’t meant to say it like that, not just after learning of his love for Cassie and her passing away while she was pregnant. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking when I said that, but you see what I’m getting at here.”
Ty sighed. “I know. And I know you’re not going to take any risks. Rationally, I know the odds of you getting hurt or losing the baby are slim. I just can’t help but worry you will, constantly. So I overreact when I see something as little as being half a foot off the ground while you look at the pigs.”
They were both quiet for a moment as Parker thought. So much made sense now. She would try not to get so exasperated with him in the future when he freaked out again. And he would freak out again. She’d bet anything he would.
She thought his reluctance to get intimate again made sense now, too, and she tried to push away the sense of loss she felt. She’d never really had him to lose in the first place.
“So what you’re saying is that you still love Cassie. That’s why you don’t want to take things further between us again.”
Ty’s head whipped around as he looked at her in surprise. “What? No. I mean, a part of me will always love Cassie. But I accepted that she wasn’t mine, would never be mine, a long time ago. It hurt when I saw her and Jared together, sure, but I had made my peace with it. For the most part,” he added wryly. “I did almost kill Jared when she died. I thought it was his fault, that if she had been with me, that never would have happened. I was arrogant in my belief of that. I thought I would have taken better care of her. I’m learning now, after being with you for the last few days, that he did his best. That he was more hurt by her passing than I was. You couldn’t have told me that four years ago, though. Or even a year ago. I’ve spent so much time being hurt and bitter and furious with Jared. Anyway, that’s beside the point. What I was trying to say was that yes, a part of me will always love her. She was my best friend for going on fifteen years. I’ve realized, though, that for a while, even before she died, my love for her was that of a friend. Not a lover, or wannabe lover.”
Parker took that in, relief and confusion warring inside her. Relief to know that she wasn’t in true competition with a perfect ghost, and confusion because she still wasn’t sure what was stopping him.
“You say you don’t know how to talk about your emotions, but you’re doing a pretty good job right now,” she said jokingly, trying to relieve a bit of the tension in the room.
He huffed a laugh. “You’re not fe
eling it from this side of the room.”
Parker smiled. “Okay, so, Cassie’s not it. Why the hesitation, then?”
Ty rubbed a hand over his face. “Because I don’t want to hurt you. Ever, Parker. You’re too important.”
Parker’s heart warmed even as she frowned. “Hurt me how? Because you don’t want a commitment?”
“No, that’s not it, not really. If I was ever going to commit to a woman, it would be you. I mean… physically. I don’t want to hurt you or the baby.”
“By having sex?” Parker asked, half in disbelief.
“I’m a lot bigger than you are, Parker. And even stronger than I look. I could do it unthinkingly. I could get too rough. I’m not a gentleman or gentle by nature, and I could get too rough by accident.”
“You did just fine last time.”
“You weren’t pregnant last time. What’s that they say about pregnant women? That they’re in a delicate condition? Delicate things need treated with delicacy, and I’m not sure I’m capable of that.”
Parker snorted. “That’s bullshit, Ty. I’m not delicate. You’re not going to hurt me or the baby if we have sex. I don’t need you to be gentle, but even if I did, I know you could be. You would never do anything that might hurt me, whether I was pregnant or not.”
“You don’t understand--.”
Parker put her hand on his mouth, cutting him off. “I understand the kind of man you are, Ty. The kind of man who worries over whether I eat, the kind of man that won’t even let me carry a bag of toiletries inside, is never going to do something that might hurt me, baby or not.”
Ty reached up, grabbing her hand and placing a lingering, scorching kiss in her palm, before lowering it to his lap and not letting it go. “You really believe that? You have that much faith in me?”
“Of course I do, Ty,” she said softly. “I just wish you had that much faith in yourself.”
Ty looked at her for a moment, a struggle going on in his eyes that she wasn’t sure she understood. Finally, he reached up and slowly removed her glasses. Parker’s breath hitched as he leaned past her to set them on the bedside table. Straightening up, he framed her face with his hands and searched her eyes before leaning in and ever so slowly sipping at her lips.
The feel of his hands gently cupping her face and his lips softly brushing hers made Parker’s heart melt. He kept the kiss slow and soft for long moments, and even through the sweetest sensations she’d ever known, Parker felt her body coming alive with tingles. This man’s touch, his kisses, were magical. Every time so far had been, and every time, it only felt more so.
He increased the intensity and pressure of the kiss in slow increments, and Parker felt her blood boiling hotter when every sweep of his tongue against her lips. She opened for him, letting him in as her hands reached up and tangled in his hair.
The slow pace was driving her insane, but it was the sweetest torture she’d ever known.
He lifted his mouth from hers, placing tender kisses down her jaw and back again before he pulled back to look into her eyes.
“Are you sure about this, Parker? This feels important to me, and I need to know you feel it, too. That you’re sure you want to do this, even knowing that.”
Parker’s heart stopped for a moment as she searched his eyes. That he thought this was big too was huge, and almost unbelievable. It seemed like he really did want her, and for more than just the baby she carried.
“I’m absolutely sure, Tyler. I feel it too, and I’m sure.”
A flash of relief, followed by triumph, flashed through his eyes before he lowered his mouth to hers again. This kiss was still gentle, but the softness was gone, replaced with a heated intensity that stole her breath. He kissed and licked and nipped, and Parker did her best to participate but it was more like she was just holding on for the ride as he ravished her mouth.
He eased her back onto the bed, following her down and lying beside her, his body big and hot against hers. He trailed his mouth back across her jaw and then down her throat as he slid one large hand up her waist. Her breath caught as his hand reached the underside of her breast, and then she moaned, half in disappointment that he didn’t go higher, and half in pleasure as he licked at her neck.
Ty nipped her throat as his hand slid back down to her waist, and she could feel him smile against her neck. He knew he was driving her insane, the ass. Not willing to let him be the only one playing, she pushed him back a bit and reached for the hem of his shirt. She felt herself blushing, but she couldn’t help it. She’d never tried to undress a man before, even during their last time together.
Luckily, Ty either didn’t notice her blush or wasn’t going to comment on it. Accommodating her, he sat up and pulled his t-shirt off. Parker stared, riveted at the sight of his muscular chest, as he tossed the shirt over the side of the bed. Before he could settle over her again, Parker brought her hands to his shoulders, sliding them down his impressive pecs before moving them over his washboard abs. He had more tattoos on his chest, and another on his side, and she wanted to trace every one of them with her tongue. She’d never seen a man look like this other than in movies or underwear ads. She hadn’t even thought that a normal man could look like this.
As normal as he could be when he turned into a wolf occasionally, she thought wryly. Then again, maybe that was part of why he looked the way he did.
Her fingers reached low, brushing against the edge of his jeans, and she secretly smiled when he hissed out a breath and his hips involuntarily jerked forward. The fact that her touch could pull that reaction from him was heady stuff, and she brushed her fingers under the waistband of his jeans just to feel it again. This time, he let out a strangled groan, and satisfied, she trailed her fingers back up again.
“Alright,” Ty said gruffly, catching her hands. “That’s enough of that torture for now.”
“Don’t like it when the tables are turned, do you?”
He brought one of her hands to her mouth, nipping the pads of her fingertips one by one, before lowering it again. “You’ll be the one who doesn’t like it when this ends too quickly. I’d like to at least be out of my jeans when that happens.”
Parker felt her eyebrows raise. “I have that kind of effect on you?”
He leaned in to kiss her lips before pulling back. “Of course you do. Since the moment I saw you in Pete’s four months ago.”
Parker knew her smile was a cross between smug and surprised, but she couldn’t help either feeling. She never would have guessed that the effect she had on him was as potent as the effect he had on her. Her-- short, chubby, plain Parker Leighton.
Her musings were cut short by Ty reaching for the hem of her shirt, and she couldn’t stop herself from stiffening. He hadn’t seen her body in almost five months, and even then, it had been relatively dark in the room, the only light coming from the streetlights outside. There was a lamp on the dresser that was turned on in his bedroom, and her body… She’d been chubby then, but she was even more filled out now. Her breasts, already large, had just gotten bigger; her belly was rounder with his child. He might not have been disgusted by feeling her body against his, but she couldn’t help thinking the sight of it would turn him off.
“Hey,” he said softly, noticing her hesitation. “What’s going through that pretty head of yours?”
She could feel a blush creeping into her cheeks, but she couldn’t stop it any more than she could answer him. Even if she wanted to, her throat has closed up tight. She squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head and forcing herself to speak.
“Nothing,” she finally croaked.
“Do you want to stop?”
Eyes shooting open at that, Parker shook her head more vehemently. “No! Don’t stop. It’s fine. I’m fine. Promise.”
Ty didn’t look like he believed her, but he drew her up slightly so that he could pull her shirt off. Parker eased back down, unable to keep her eyes from closing. At least she had on her good bra tonight.
The silence was stretching on, making Parker more and more uncomfortable, when she heard a gust of breath leave Ty. “Parker,” he breathed. “You are so gorgeous.”
Did he just say she was gorgeous?
Parker slowly opened her eyes, not sure she’d heard him right. He was staring at her body with a dazed look on his face, and the look in his eyes was almost… reverent?
He reached a hand down, slowly trailing it over her shoulder, leaving a trail of fire in his wake, before tracing a finger down her bra strap. He followed it to the edge of her purple and lace bra, following the edge along her breast. She sucked in a trembling breath at the feel of him against her skin.
“Are you bigger here than you were before?” He asked, swallowing hard.
Fighting down the embarrassment she felt over her even larger than normal bust size, Parker nodded. “They’ll get even bigger than this at the end of the pregnancy,” she admitted.
He must have caught something in her tone because he frowned and looked up at her face. “Parker? What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing.”
He continued to study her for a moment before realization dawned in his eyes. “Parker, baby. How many times do I have to tell you how beautiful you are? Everything about you. Don’t be uncomfortable. Not with me. I’ll never think you’re anything less than stunning.”
Parker was mesmerized by the sincerity that shown through his eyes, and the conviction in his voice. He really meant that. She thought maybe he always had, but it was just now becoming clear to her. No matter how anyone else saw her, no matter how she saw herself, Ty loved the way she looked. He didn’t mind her curves or her larger than average breasts. He didn’t mind that her belly wasn’t flat. And he didn’t think she was plain; he thought she was beautiful.
Warmth filled her chest as she nodded at him. “You really feel that way, don’t you? I can’t promise that I’ll overcome all of my insecurities at once, or even very quickly, but I’ll try.”
Deciding to show him that she really meant that, Parker sat up and reached behind her, unsnapping her bra and flinging it off of the bed before laying back down. She had to fight the urge cover her breasts up, but she managed it, and she was happy she had when she saw the lustful look in his eyes as he took her in.
Unexpected Mates (Red Moon Shifters Book 1) Page 9
