“Neither did I.”
Later, as we’re lying in bed, I get a tour of Jack’s tattoos. I’d gotten to see and hear about the ones on his arms, as those are easy to show, but I’d never seen the ones on his chest or his back before. On his chest is a tribute to his mom - a dove sitting on a branch, backlit by the sun, its wings beginning to spread. On the back of his left shoulder blade is a radio dial, cranked all the way to the right, signifying the band’s name. I love it. It’s clever and meaningful.
“You know…” Jack starts, as we lay facing each other on our stomachs, “We could get one done together.”
“What, like identical? Or just at the same time?”
“I don’t think it really matters. If we just got one at the same time, it would still give us a connection. Or we could come up with a design together.”
“Wanna merge our names, and get ‘Jayzie’?” I ask, smiling and sticking my tongue out.
“Oh hell no,” he says.
“Ride or die?”
“I’m serious!” he says, reaching over to give me a playful shove. “Really, though. What do you think?”
“Yeah,” I say, grinning at this crazy idea. “I’m in.”
The rain is still falling but has let up enough that it's now a light drizzle that can be heard gently patting on the roof and windows. I reach over and gently trace the lines of the kanji on his right shoulder.
"I love you touching me,” he says. A gentle smile is my response, as my fingertips continue their journey along his firm bicep and up to the back of his neck to play with the strands of his hair that rest there. He closes his eyes as I glide my fingers down between his shoulder blades. “Well, if you get to touch me…” he says, as he reaches over, his callused fingers coming up to my wrist before coasting down my arm and up to my shoulder.
"That feels good,” I whisper. He moves closer and presses his mouth to mine, giving me a long, sensual and languid kiss as his hand slides down to the base of my spine. How someone can make me feel so strong, yet weaken me with just their touch is such a phenomenon.
"Baby..." he starts, his tone a question.
"Yeah?" I respond. Our faces are only far enough apart so that his eyes are in focus as they search mine.
"Do you take the pill or anything?" he asks, brushing my hair off the side of my face. It's completely necessary, but can be a touchy subject for lovers to discuss for the first time, and I love how he's broaching it tenderly.
"Yeah," I answer as he plants a single kiss on my lips. "I've been on it for a while."
"I've been tested,” he says after drawing back further, to look me dead in my eyes, keeping his hand on the side of my face. His body language lets me know he wants me to take him seriously. The solemn look in his eyes and the way he holds me close… "Besides that, I've never been with anybody without protection." His admission rocks me and fills me with anticipation of where he's going with this. "I love you... and I want to feel you completely." And just like that, millions of tiny stars explode and dance throughout my entire body. What he's saying is so intimate, sensual and beautiful. It makes me feel something grow and blossom inside me. I've never felt such a deep sense of intimacy. "But," he continues, "first and foremost, I want you to feel safe with me. So… only when you're ready." His tone is full of hope but punctuated with sincerity. This is probably the sexiest thing anyone has ever said to me. It makes me feel protected and respected; something no one else has bothered to make me feel. Not to mention, I feel totally loved and adored.
"I love you,” I say back as I bring my hand up to cover the one he has resting against my face. "I want to feel you, too." He leans in and kisses me on the lips with such intensity that heat flashes all over my body. He maneuvers his body so that he can kiss my shoulder and the back of my neck, his movements and breathing becoming feverish. My body responds in kind, as I shift to my side to get closer. I feel myself start to throb between my legs as I huddle into him as if he's a warm cave. I begin kissing his chest and he groans loudly, not even trying to contain it, as he rakes both hands into my hair. He brings his mouth to my neck, getting the same response from me. We continue to kiss, roll and caress each other, as we get lost in each other a second time.
Jack
The next morning, the incessant ringing of my phone breaks through the thick fog of one of the best sleeps I’ve ever had. I come a little bit closer to consciousness with each ring and struggle to piece together the reality of the moment. After six rings, the noise stops. My eyes are still glued shut, but my other senses are picking up my surroundings. I smell Mayzie all around me, and when I shift slightly, I feel the skin of her warm body pressed against mine, her head on my chest. I finally pull my eyes open to see a mess of light brown hair just inches in front of me, picking up rays of daylight. The ringing starts again and fury starts to ignite inside my head, which isn’t awake enough to process the annoying sound coming from my pants on the floor. I am not a morning person. I decide to lie here and ignore it. Hopefully whoever it is gives up this time. I close my eyes again and lean my head forward to breathe in the hair that’s in front of my face. When I get the scent of Mayzie’s flowery shampoo, one part of me definitely starts to wake up, and the ringing stops again. Hallelujah. The skin on her arm feels cool as I run my hand up and down it.
God, last night was… well, it was life altering. I’ve never shared anything like this with anyone else. I’ve never felt what I did last night when Mayzie and I came together and let ourselves feel our love so completely. That second time, when I entered her with no barrier between us, feeling her warm and soft against my skin gave me everything I felt the first time, but intensified. That feeling of completeness overtook me. The absence of that little detail made us feel so close and it was hard to control myself. I just wanted to drown in that feeling and never feel anything else ever again. I want to do it over and over again, just let go and give ourselves over to each other.
The damn ringing of my phone starts again, and this time, the beautiful being in my arms starts to wake up. Now I’m pissed. I could’ve stayed here all day without moving. She lets out a tiny grunt and brings a hand up to rub her eye. I bring both arms completely around her and gently roll her on to her back, giving her a kiss on her neck before turning to sit on the edge of the bed so I can reach for my jeans. I’m going to fish out my phone, find out who the fuck this is and what they want, then I’m turning my damn phone off and diving back under that sheet and pressing myself back up against my woman where I belong.
“What?” I growl into the phone without even checking the caller ID.
“The Black Fire. We’re in.” Matt’s voice says on the other end.
“What?” I say. I heard him, but I’m still not awake.
“Next Saturday. A slot for a band opened up. Remember Robby? My old roommate? He’s turned into quite the regular there. He’s there three nights a week, spending like crazy, he’s become a VIP or something. The club’s usual go-to called it quits. We’re in!” he says, speaking a mile a minute. I’m catching on, but still struggling to keep up as Mayzie stirs behind me, stretching out her body.
“Are you shitting me? Did I really just hear all that?” I ask Matt.
“I’m dead fucking serious. We go on at 10, next Saturday. We have to get together, come up with a good set list, rehearse…”
“Yeah. Holy shit. I can’t believe this.” The Black Fire is one of the hottest clubs in downtown, and we’ve never gotten in to play there before. It’s a way bigger crowd, a chance to expose ourselves to more people.
“I can’t either. Look, I gotta go. I have to keep trying the others. You work tonight?” It’s Thursday, and I’m off tonight.
“No. I’m off.”
“Alright, let’s get together, go over some shit.”
“Alright. Speaking of which, we need to add something to the demo.” The lyrics I started writing the night I saw Mayzie dancing practically wrote themselves that night, and the more time I spent
with her, the more the words came to me, and before long, I had a song.
“Another song? Damn. Alright, let’s hear it tonight. I’ll be in touch later.”
“Alright, later.” I put my phone on silent and toss it back down on the floor. I turn back to Mayzie, who’s laying back on the pillow, the sheet pulled up to her chest. Her arms are folded over her head, and her hair is a sexy mess.
“Good news?” she asks, her eyebrows raised, but her lids still half closed.
“Yeah.” I smile and crawl back over to her. I see a flash of her naked body as I lift the sheet and climb on top of her, hovering my face over hers. “We get to play The Black Fire next week.” I beam down at her. Her eyes open all the way now, and her smile is big and bright. Definitely better with mornings than I am.
“Oh my God, really?” she says, going giddy as I nod at her. “That is amazing! Jack, I’m so excited for you!” She wraps both arms around my neck, giving me a squeeze. I’m happy too, but at the same time, I’m thinking how excited I am to have her, as I look at her looking back at me from under her lashes. Her grey eyes are practically sparkling with happiness, and my heart gives a thud, knowing it’s for me. I start to melt into her, kissing her chest, splaying my lips to touch as much of her skin as I can. She looks so damn beautiful like this; in the morning light, naked, sleepy, happy. I’ve known for a while now that I’m in love with her. But after last night, there’s more to it. She’s it. She’s mine now. And I will be no one’s but hers, ever again.
13
Mayzie
The Black Fire is an old building transformed into a major night club in downtown. It has three levels, with a bar on each one, and balconies that look over an impressive stage. The stage here is definitely bigger than the one at The Cedar, and has lights suspended to project onto the performer to really give off the small concert effect. I can see why the guys have really been gunning to play here. Apart from the bigger and more techie stage, the entire place is huge and definitely brings in a bigger audience. The guys have even dressed up a little more than usual for their set. Jack is in black jeans and an army green button down open over a grey tank. He’s also added a couple of black leather bracelets around his wrist. The club is already bumping to alternative and rock music, courtesy of a DJ, who keeps announcing how much closer the time is getting for Turn it Up to take the stage.
“I’m not sure I like what you’re wearing,” he says, with a playful smile. We’re in the back corridor where the band is staying out of sight until they go on. He’s leaning one hand against the cement wall I’ve got my back against, and holding one of my hands with the other.
“You don’t like this?” I ask, feeling self-conscious for a moment, but hoping his smile means he’s joking. I’m wearing black slacks with a grey, clingy tank top. I’ve got a long chain hanging down in front of me, with matching dangly earrings. There’s a stack of bangles on one wrist, my hair is down, I’m in full make-up and I’m actually wearing heels. “This is a big night for you, I wanted to look good.” Besides, it’s been a while since I got this dressed to impress, and it’s sort of the common attire for a place like this.
“Baby, you look so good I’m in pain,” he says, dropping his forehead to mine. “The problem is, there’s probably two hundred guys out there that are going to feel the same way.”
“Don’t worry. Annie is here too and so is Ian.”
“Thank God for that.” He gives me a flirty, closed-lipped smile.
“So, what about when I go back to jeans and t-shirts?” I ask. I still need a little reassurance sometimes, and I feel it now that I’m in as deep as I am with Jack.
“Are you kidding me? That’s the person I’ve been falling in love with all this time,” he says, shaking his head.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
I give him a smile and a shrug, “Saying that.”
“It’s just the truth.” He levels his gaze with my eyes so that I know he’s serious. We look at each other another moment, just happy to be with each other in the quiet before I realize I should let him get psyched up.
“You’ve only got a couple minutes before you have to be out there, so I’m going to let you have them with the guys.”
“Okay,” he says, taking my face in his hands and giving me a kiss.
“I can’t wait to see you out there. Good luck.” I turn out of his arms, and head down the corridor to walk out into the club. I wait until my back is turned to let my smile slip down.
Since the Fourth, Jack and I have continued to fall hard for each other. We’ve gone out on the Harley, we’ve played in the pool and there have been a couple more overnights. But there is something different about our connection now. Since we’ve been sleeping together, it’s gotten deeper, more intense. I’m so happy, but sometimes, still so scared.
Before Jack, I’d had sex. It had definitely been a while, and there’s a reason for that. Every time, I had been used, screwed, or screwed over. When I decided I couldn’t take any more college and came back home is when I also decided something had to change. Annie was all for it and practically acted like a life coach. I was doing great with myself for a couple of years, and then Eric was the mistake that made me backslide. And he wasn’t lying to Jack that night after his show. I hadn’t connected with a guy in a while when I met Eric, and he picked up on it. All it took was a few romantic words making me feel special, and I gave it right up. And the regret he made me feel afterward was instantaneous. It stung big time and I had to rebuild myself again, never getting completely there. A few months later, I ran into Eric again while Annie and I were out dancing, and he apologized. And damn, did I almost fall for it, but as soon as I saw where he was headed with his so-called heartfelt apology, I threw on the brakes and told him to go to hell. It was a pivotal moment in my life, and I’ve accepted nothing but respect from all people ever since.
But I never figured out what I would do when I fell deeply in love with someone. Unlike my past experiences, with Jack I feel taken care of. He made love to me that night, and he’s repeated it several times since. And it’s because he actually loves me. I know this, and I thank God that I’m in a place with Jack and with myself that I don’t have to question that. But still, it’s new territory, and I can’t help but drive myself crazy, wondering what I’d do if things went south. It terrifies me. As I make my way through the crowd, my people come into view, and I put my smile back in place.
I freaked out with the rest of the crowd when Turn it Up came out, and they tore it up like I hadn’t seen them do before. Chris had never banged on his drums harder, Matt was bolder than usual, working the stage to get the crowd amped up, and even Josh came out of his shell a bit. Normally when I look at him, he’s all business, focused on producing the music hooks on the keyboard while keeping up the rhythm guitar. Tonight, he was smiling, sticking his tongue out, and allowing the crowd to see some character.
And Jack swung his guitar, every which way while he shouted the lyrics to every song into the mic, teased the crowd, and occasionally let out a scream, like a man possessed. It was intense and the crowd was eating out of their hands. I saw several cell phones up in the air, recording the performance. At one point, he even lost the button down and played the rest of the show in his tank, giving everyone a good look at his biceps, glistening with sweat. Thank God he didn’t go completely shirtless, or I might have to have the same talk with him that he had with me before the show. The way they were playing, it was easy to forget we were in a club. It might as well have been at Madison Square Garden.
And now, I’m pressed against the wall in the hallway leading to his bedroom with his tongue deep in my mouth and his hands frantically roaming my body. He is surging with every movement, adrenaline rolling right off of him. I’ve never seen him like this, then again, that was no show at The Cedar, and the guy is seriously cranked up. Not that he’s the only one. Watching him tear it up tonight turned me the fuck on too. I let out a gasp into his mo
uth when he leans down and grabs the backs of my thighs to lift me up, making us level with each other. He presses me harder against the wall as his mouth ravages mine. I’m still fully dressed, while he ditched his shirt minutes ago, and his bare chest pressing against me is making me absolutely throb. Every part of me is aching so bad for him, I feel like I could orgasm right here with just a few more minutes of this. We haven’t been this way before. Our first few times were slow, sweet. There is just as much emotion at work here as there was during those times, but it’s different. The lust and the energy are both off the charts and I’m so desperate for release, I’m losing my breath. He releases my mouth, kissing hungrily across my jaw to my ear.
“Come to bed with me,” he says, in a ragged whisper. While that was kind of a given, being that it’s three in the morning and I’m already here, hearing him say that damn near makes me go off. I feel even more blood rush to my core, bubbling and percolating. I let out a moan, letting him know what those words do to me. I want him so bad, and I’m so pissed because that nagging worry that I had earlier tonight is still sitting in the back of my brain, holding onto the tiny remaining thread of my self-control and not letting go.
I want him. I want him to toss me down on the bed and take me hard and fast, but that annoying little bitch is slowly growing and pushing her way to the front of my mind. At the same time, Jack works his hand up the back of my top and undoes my strapless bra, letting it fall away from under my top and onto the floor. He moves his hand to the front of me, palming my bare breast as he starts to suck on my collarbone. I can’t help but let out an ‘oh God’ when he does it. He leans into me for leverage and holds me with one arm, while using his other hand to work my top up and over my head.
“Is this okay? Do you like this?” he asks urgently before his mouth dips down to start mauling my chest. And that does it. He is once again making sure I feel safe, loved. He’s checking in with me, even in the heat of the moment; even as we’re in the middle of this cyclone of fever and lust. And it revs me up even further. And just like that, that nagging thought retreats back into the recesses of my brain, and I give in completely.
See Her (Turn it Up Book 1) Page 13
