“Yeah.”
“Meanwhile she’s pissed at both of us.”
Alex knew why she was mad at him. “Why is she so mad at you?”
“Because according to her, I’m trying to run her life, and she’s mad that I punched you. Apparently, she thinks I overreacted.” Alex laughed. “And she’s mad at you because you’re a coward.”
“Yeah, she told me the exact same thing.” She’d been right. He was a fucking coward.
“Are you going to fight for her?”
Alex felt his heart rip apart as he pictured the look on her face when he’d told her he didn’t love her. That was hurt that he’d caused her. He’d put that pain on her face. Maria deserved better than him. “No.”
Rafael looked surprised. “Really?”
“It’s for her own good. I have to let her go.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
EVEN THOUGH HER head was heavy and foggy from the night before, Maria’s hangover had mostly dissipated. And she still made it to the community center in time for her volunteer duty. All morning, she’d felt a little behind, as if she were moving in slow motion. She’d drunk too much at Jessica’s the night before, and she was feeling the aftereffects of the alcohol.
But after going to bed the night before, she’d made a decision. It was time for a change. For her to get back to basics. She wasn’t happy as an assistant for a couple of rich guys in an office tower. She looked around the community center. This was where she belonged. Her little foray into the corporate world had been fun, and she’d gained so much valuable experience. But it couldn’t continue.
Maria entered the main day care area. After providing breakfast, the staff organized activities for the neighborhood children. Maria headed over to one of the tables. The movement made her head hurt. She sat next to Henry, one of the underprivileged children who came to the center while his mom worked. He was drawing a picture of three people. “That’s fantastic, Henry. Who is that?”
“That’s me and my mom,” he told her, and then he pointed to the third figure. “That’s you.”
Tears welled in Maria’s eyes. Henry was always such a sweet, sensitive child, and since Maria’s very first day at the working at the center, he’d latched on to her. That she warranted a spot in a picture next to Henry’s mother, a single woman who worked two jobs to provide for him, made her heart surge. He spent a lot of time at the center, and Maria wanted to do anything she could to ease their burden. Henry finished his drawing with one final stroke of black for Maria’s hair and passed it over to her.
“Is this for me?” she asked, her headache forgotten. “It’s wonderful. I’m going to put it on my fridge at home.”
He smiled and reached out for a hug, which Maria gladly obliged. Those were the moments that made the tough job and low pay more than worth it.
“You like it?” He looked up at her, his brown eyes large.
“Of course I do,” she assured him. “Thank you so much.”
The hours she spent at the center as a volunteer were some of the best in her life. It wasn’t always as challenging as some of her humanitarian work in war and disaster zones, but she loved it there, meeting new people, helping them find the services they needed.
Maria looked up and saw the door open. It was Anna, her friend and the director of the center. “Henry, I’m going to go talk to Anna for a little while. Why don’t you go play with the other kids outside?”
“Maria, it’s good to see you back here. We’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed it, too. So much. And that’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. Beth told me you’re heading back home.”
“Yes,” she said. “I missed my family too much. So we’re Tucson-bound in a couple of weeks.”
“I would like to apply to be your replacement.”
Anna looked her over. “That’s good to hear,” she said, smiling. “Let’s go into my office. We can discuss some details.”
* * *
Maria took a deep breath and raised her fist. She hesitated and then knocked rapidly three times on Brett’s door.
“Come in.”
She pushed open the door and saw that Alex was seated across from Brett’s desk. His posture stiffened, and she looked away from him and focused on Brett.
“You’re both here,” Maria said. “That’s good.”
Brett looked up at her and folded his hands on the desk in front of her. “Maria, what’s up?”
“I just wanted to give you this,” she said, handing over the envelope that she’d been looking at all day.
Brett’s eyebrows knit together as he accepted the envelope. “What is this?”
“It’s my resignation.”
“What?” Brett and Alex said together.
“It’s my two weeks’ notice. I don’t think I can work here anymore.”
“Maria,” Alex said. “Is this something we should talk about?”
“No, I don’t have anything to say to you. It’s just the right time. A position at the community center opened up, and I interviewed for it and got the job.”
“Congratulations, I guess. But is there anything we can do or say to make you stay?” Brett asked.
“No, really. It has nothing to do with you, either of you,” she clarified, with a look in Alex’s direction, “or the company, and I’m so grateful for the opportunity you’ve given me here. But I need to get back to what I’m passionate about. My work at the center, helping people.”
“I can’t say I blame you for that. But we’ll definitely miss you.”
She nodded, and started to turn. “Okay. Well, I’m going back to my desk. Let me know if you need anything.”
“Maria, wait!” Alex jumped up and chased her out the door. He caught up to her outside in the hallway. “Don’t do this,” he said.
“Don’t do what?”
“You don’t need to quit.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.”
“If this is about what happened between us—”
“Yes, Alex, it’s the hardest thing in the world, seeing you every day here at work, when all I want is for you to put your arms around me, kiss me. But you can’t do that right now. Rest assured, though, the decisions I make have nothing to do with you. I’m doing this for me. I’m moving on. And you have to accept that.”
Alex rubbed his jaw with his palm. His eyes were tired. He looked miserable, and for a second, she wanted to console him. But she held herself back. He’d broken her heart, and even though he’d pushed her away, she knew it wasn’t what he wanted.
She thought he would confess his love. Tell her to stay, and that he wanted to be with her forever. “Is there anything I can do to get you to stay?”
“You want me to stay? At Collins/Fischer? Or with you?”
“The job,” he said, after a long pause.
If her heart hadn’t already been shattered by the man in front of her, she might have felt something besides the dull ache in her chest. So Maria swallowed her sob and turned away from Alex. Probably forever.
* * *
Alex walked back into Brett’s office and sat heavily back into his seat. He looked at the stacks of papers in front of them. They had been in the middle of a meeting. “Where were we?”
“Good question. I just lost the best assistant I’ve ever had. What do you have to say about that?”
“Not a goddamn thing,” Alex said, his lips folding into a grim line. “Can we just get back to work?” But instead of sitting, he made his way to the wet bar and opened several drawers. “I know you’re sober, but why don’t you keep any booze in here?”
“The good stuff is in the cabinet to your left,” Brett told him. “For just such an occasion.”
Alex grabbed the first bottle he saw, unscrewed the top and raised it to his lips.
“Dude,” Brett sa
id, with a concerned edge to his voice. “Take it easy.”
Alex looked at the bottle in his shaky hands. He needed to get himself under control. And booze wasn’t the way to do it. But he’d so royally fucked up his entire life by letting Maria walk away. He wasn’t the man he wanted to be; he was quickly morphing into the man he’d fought against being his entire life—his booze-and-drug-addled father. But most important, he wasn’t the man Maria needed. He needed to work on himself before seeing her again. Taking several deep breaths through his nose, he capped the bottle and took a bottle of water from the fridge. He returned to where Brett sat at his desk. “Can we get back to work now?”
“Yeah, sure. Is there anything you want to talk about first?”
“Not right now. No.”
They worked in silence for a few minutes. Alex managed to focus on the task at hand, and he felt calmer as he looked over Collins/Fischer’s projections for the next few years. The numbers were encouraging, but they did little to lift his mood. He was starting to realize that maybe money and success weren’t everything. “Christ, look at these numbers. We’ve definitely made it.”
“I think we’re a few years past actually ‘making it,’ don’t you think? We’re doing very well.”
He thought of the wealth that he and Brett had amassed. They had everything they could ever need. More than most others had. He had an idea. “Even after we reinvest in The Brotherhood’s other ventures, and cover the operating costs for Hedo until it turns a profit, we’ve still got quite a bit of capital here. Any ideas of how to use it?”
Brett shrugged. “I haven’t thought about it. Why do you ask? Do you have an idea?”
Alex nodded. “I think I know.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Six months later...
FROM HIS VANTAGE point high above Hedo’s open-air lounge, Alex watched the partygoers frolic below them. Months and months of meticulous planning, logistics, meetings and hurdle-jumping had paid off, and the hotel was finally up and running.
He was more relaxed, but it wasn’t only because of the hotel; Alex was in a much better place, mentally. He’d been spending time with a therapist, working through his issues that stemmed from childhood, and he’d tried his best to mend his relationship with Rafael. He’d even cut back on drinking, realizing that he’d used sex and alcohol to fill the void his upbringing had left within him, until Maria had come along.
Maria. He hadn’t seen Maria in a couple of months. He didn’t feel he could. Not until he worked out his own issues. He’d wanted to see if she would move on with her life. It was what she deserved, to find someone who wasn’t so screwed up. But from what he’d heard, she hadn’t.
Brett and Alana joined him and looked down at the party that they’d yet to join. “We did it,” Brett said.
Alex took a deep breath. “Yeah.” He found it hard to take part in the revelry. He was distracted, nervous. And he didn’t get nervous. His normally razor-sharp focus had waned. During the course of opening the hotel, he’d almost lost everything—his best friend, the love of his life.
But he had a plan. A way to make it right, provided, of course, that Maria would even speak to him. He clutched the small velvet box in his pocket and hoped that his late gesture would be enough.
Rafael walked up to him and passed him a short crystal tumbler, and he drank the high-priced bourbon. He and Rafael were still friends, but something had changed between them. As if Raf still held some resentment or distrust. And Alex knew that it could have been avoided by staying away from the man’s sister, or at least being honest about their relationship.
“So, you’re actually doing this?”
“Yeah. As long as I have your blessing.”
“You’ve got everyone’s blessing. Just make it right with her, and don’t screw it up this time, okay?”
“I’ll do my best.”
“She’s a tough one. You’re definitely going to need to grovel.”
“How much do you think it’ll take?”
“How much you got?”
“I’ll do anything to get her back.”
“Good luck,” he said, patting him on the shoulder.
“Thanks.”
“We should get down there,” Alana said, coming up between them, taking both men by the elbow and steering them toward the elevator. “Let’s go revel in our new success.”
* * *
Maria sat at the bar, staring intently at her phone screen. Alex had asked her to meet him there. She hadn’t seen him in a couple of months—they hadn’t even crossed paths. Apparently, he’d been busy getting Hedo off the ground. She looked around. The place was spectacular. The Brotherhood had taken his vision and done an amazing job. Pride surged through her, as she took in all of the partygoers. Just like the rest of The Brotherhood’s ventures, Hedo was sure to be a success.
Maria wasn’t sure why he wanted her there, especially since he’d spent the past several months avoiding her. She’d tried to move on—see other people, but they weren’t Alex. He’d still been the one to consume her every fantasy when she lay awake in bed, unable to sleep without him by her side.
Alex had yet to show up. But there was no doubt his staff had already told him that she’d arrived. She’d heard from Rafael that Alex was doing better lately. He’d been seeing a professional and cutting back on his drinking. And she was proud of his progress. But that didn’t quell the hurt that tightened her chest every time she thought about him.
“Thanks for coming.” She heard his voice behind her. “We really need to talk.”
Swiveling around on her stool, she turned to look at him. “It’s been a while.” She paused to soak in the sight of him. “What did you want to talk about?”
He sat beside her, and they turned to face each other. “I’ve missed you.”
Maria had missed him, too. But she wouldn’t say it. She’d laid it on the line for him so much already. She had some pride. He had to meet her halfway. She wanted to crawl into his lap and feel his arms wrap around her again, but she simply nodded, remaining cool. “What did you want?”
“I want to apologize.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I made a mess of everything. And I hurt you. I’m sorry.”
She looked around the crowded, lively room. “Should we go somewhere private?”
He shook his head. “Nope. I’m done hiding. I’m not afraid. I don’t care who hears me say any of this.”
“Oh really? Why shouldn’t I just tell you to go fuck yourself?”
“I couldn’t blame you if you did. But I’m hoping you’ll hear me out.”
“And if my brother sees us? Will he want to punch you again?”
“Me and Raf have come to terms. He says that if I screw it up, or hurt you again, then we’ll have problems again. Otherwise, we have his blessing.”
Her eyebrow raised. She tried to not let on how his words stole her breath. “And do you think you can do that, not screw it up?”
“I can try. I can’t promise that I won’t be stubborn, or bullheaded, but you wanted me to fight for us. I will. Every day. But I can’t do it alone. We both need to fight for us. I love you. I always have, and I’ve never stopped. I want to be the man you think I can be. I want to make you proud. But I need you with me. If you’ll have me.”
“Alex, I still love you, too. You really hurt me, but I don’t think it’s anything compared to how much you hurt yourself. I always saw the good in you.”
He pulled a velvet box from his pocket. Her heart sped up into overdrive. “You’ve always been my family,” he told her. “And I want to make it official. I’ve never loved another person the way I love you. Marry me.”
“Alex.”
“It doesn’t have to be now, or anytime soon. But I want you to know that I’m in this for the long haul. I want to be with you for the rest of m
y life. If that’s what you want, too.” He kept going, and Maria barely processed his words. “I know that I don’t deserve you, and I have a lot of work to do to make up for everything. You make me a better person. And if this is moving too quickly, I understand. I’ll put this ring away and give it to you when you’re ready. But I will do anything to keep you by my side. We don’t have to get married or even engaged right now. But I want you to know that I need you in whatever future we can have together.”
“How can I trust that you won’t push me away? You shut me out. Do you know how much that hurt me?”
Alex nodded and looked down at his hands. “I thought I was doing the right thing, for both of us. But looking at you and telling you to leave was the hardest thing I’d ever done. Staying away from you was torture, and I’ll never be able to make up for hurting you like that. I promise I will spend the rest of my life trying. But I’m hoping you’ll give me the chance.”
Those were the words that Maria had wanted to hear for six months. She wouldn’t forget the pain she’d experienced, but being away from Alex had convinced her that she was at her happiest when he was by her side. They could try again. They could make it work.
“I’ll wear your ring, Alex. I want to be with you forever. I want to marry you. But not yet. When we’re both ready. We have a lot of work to do to get there, though. I’m ready to forgive you, but not forget what I’ve been through.”
“I know. And I’m ready for the challenge.”
“Me, too.” She smiled. “My family will be thrilled when we tell them.”
“Yeah, they were thrilled,” he said with a smile.
She was shocked. “Did you tell them?”
“I asked your parents. Formally. And I told them everything—sparing the obvious intimate details, of course. A traditional family like yours, I knew that it was the only way. They were surprised, but happy.”
“I know they must have been, because they love you.”
He slipped the ring on her finger. It fit perfectly. “There’s something else.”
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