“The bond. You tricked me because you didn’t trust me. You’re doing the same thing now.”
“I’m not tricking you.”
“You’re intentionally keeping stuff from me. It’s the same thing. I understand you don’t want to risk Molly’s release, but this is my mother’s killer we’re talking about. I want to get him just as much as you do.”
“We will get him.”
“No, you’ll get him,” she corrected. “Even though I’ve offered to help, you won’t let me do anything. Why?”
“Because you aren’t trained in negotiations or in interrogation. I’m sorry. I can’t let you sit in on that meeting.”
“And I’m sorry that you refuse to see me as anything more than a good fuck.”
“That’s not true and it’s not fair, Nikki.”
“You’re right, it’s not fair but it sure as hell is the truth. You haven’t allowed me to do one meaningful thing where this case is concerned. And now you won’t even tell me what’s going on so I know what to expect. You’ve completely shut me out.”
“I haven’t shut you out. There are just some things I can’t share with you.”
“Don’t worry, I get it.” Her heart shouldn’t hurt at the finality of the words, but it did. “But this,” she motioned to the space between them, “has got to change.”
He ran a finger down her cheek, stopping to sweep a lock of hair behind her ear before continuing to caress the side of her neck. “What, exactly, do you want to change?”
“I can’t keep sleeping with you.”
He glared at her for a moment before saying, “So, you’ll cut me off if I don’t give you what you want?”
“I didn’t say anything about cutting you off.” It’d be ridiculous to even try. As hurt and angry as she was with him, she still wanted him. If he reached out to her, she’d go to him happily. He’d drawn his lines, though. She needed to draw hers. “But I’ll be sleeping in the guest room from now on.”
“You can’t be serious.” His jaw tightened and the soft pink blush that started creeping up his neck hinted at his anger, but she refused to back down.
“I’m afraid I am. Either you trust me and value my input, or I’m just a good lay. I’m fine either way.” The lie slid through her lips as smooth as silk even as it made her heart ache. “But I need to know which it is.”
The breath he pulled in was harsh as he took his hand off her. “I’ve never—”
“Be careful how you finish that sentence,” she said, her voice calm despite the painful cramping in her stomach. “There are a lot of things you’ve never done. You’ve never taken more than what I’ve freely given, and you’ve never misled me about the future. But if you’re about to feed me a line, I will call bullshit.”
“I do trust you and value your input,” he said, his voice rough with emotion.
She sighed heavily and shook her head, but refused to back down. “Really? What input could I have possibly given you? I have no idea what’s going on because I’ve been locked out of every discussion.”
“You told me that Molly thinks Thomas is lying about something.”
“Everybody’s lying about something. If you let me sit in on the meeting, though, I might be able to determine what he’s lying about.”
He sat up and threw his legs over the side of the bed, his feet making a loud thumping noise as they hit the floor. “And how would you do that? Or are you a telepath as well?”
“No. I’m a seductress, he’s a guy. You can do the math.”
“I thought you had a thing against using your magic?”
“My magic is just one of the facets of my abilities. You, more than most, should know that.”
The gentle pink flush that colored his neck and cheeks turned to a bright red in front of her eyes as he stepped out of the bed. “So you’re going to seduce the truth out of him?”
“It is one my strengths.”
His next breath was harsh, as if it pained him to fill his lungs. “I will not be manipulated or threatened.”
“It wasn’t an ultimatum.”
“Like hell it wasn’t. There is no way I’m putting you into a dangerous situation and there’s no way in hell you’re going to seduce another man in my own house.” His voice dropped dangerously as he spoke. “If you need space, if you need distance, I’ll respect that. But let’s make sure we’re clear, it’s because you want it, not me.”
She stared at him for a second before realizing her mouth was hanging open. Snapping it closed, she shook her head at the white noise clogging her ears. What the hell just happened? She’d only wanted to sit in on the meeting with Thomas. Wanted some tangible evidence that Isaac trusted her, valued her for more than her skills in the bed—or on the kitchen countertop.
“I see.” It struck her how idiotic the words were. She didn’t see. Nothing made sense and she wasn’t even sure how she’d gotten from sleeping in his arms to—to whichever circle of hell she was currently in. The only thing she knew for certain was she had to get out of his room. And quickly. “I’m going…” Where? Did it matter? Not really.
She stumbled out of the bed and made her way to the room she’d slept in the first couple of nights she’d been here. The same room she’d woken up in to find him next to her after they’d had sex the first time. Because he didn’t want to sleep without her. A sharp pain lanced her abdomen and she had to press her palm against her stomach before she could walk into the room.
When she shut the door behind her, her fingers found the lock in the doorknob and turned it deftly. Had there been a lock before? Surely there must’ve been, but she’d never noticed it until today. How had she not noticed it? She shrugged off the question as she crossed the room and fell onto the bed. It didn’t matter. None of this mattered. The only thing that did was the numbness that surrounded her. She needed to cling to it tightly.
For one brief, shining moment she’d forgotten she was a pawn, not a partner. It wasn’t Isaac’s fault. He’d been honest and upfront with her. Painfully so. She was leverage, his ace in the sleeve. She was the one who’d somehow allowed herself to believe things had changed between them. But nothing had.
The pain in her stomach started to invade her chest, but she refused to feel it. She’d never intended for things to change for her. It was, really when she thought about it, just a stupid mistake on her part. So this whole misunderstanding, and that’s what she was going to refer to it as from now on—a misunderstanding, had actually been for the best. She couldn’t feel anything more than attraction for Isaac. Most certainly not love. For a seductress to love? She shuddered at the thought. There was no worse fate. Except maybe to be the object of said love. So it was best that she found out now. That they cleared up the whole misunderstanding before she did something really idiotic like falling in love with the man.
Her eyes burned worse with each passing minute and, as lost as she was in her thoughts, it took her a while to realize she was on the verge of crying. She fought the sensation for as long as she could, but when it became apparent that the tears were going to win, she buried her face in a pillow so no one outside the room could hear her and then let the sorrow buried deep inside her have free rein.
Fortunately, it turned out to be a cathartic cry. Something she hadn’t indulged in since childhood. And it lulled her into a bone-weary sleep. When she woke again, she was happy to find that not only was she feeling deliciously numb, but that she’d also managed to sleep through Isaac’s meeting with Thomas, which was a good thing. Now she didn’t have to worry about it. It was over and she could move on knowing exactly where she stood with Isaac.
The room swam around her as she stood and her head throbbed painfully like she’d drunk too much the night before. She needed water. And maybe some sort of pain pill. Stumbling to the closet, she grabbed a silk robe and then slid her arms into it before wrapping it around her body and tying it at her waist. It was soft against her skin, but didn’t offer any comfort. The only sensatio
n she craved right now was that of callused hands slipping over her body. And that wasn’t going to happen.
Making her way downstairs, she heard conversations and smelled food coming from the direction of the kitchen, so she decided that was as good a place to start as any. When she stepped through the door and the conversation stopped, though, she wished she hadn’t gotten out of bed.
It was only Lesli and Isaac in the room and they appeared to be eating potato soup and crusty bread but, when she looked at them, she was reminded once more that she was an outsider in this house. Her eyes burned and for one moment she was concerned she was going to start crying again, but she took a deep breath and pushed through the moment.
“Thomas is already gone?”
“Yes.” Isaac’s body was so stiff he looked as if he’d fall over if a feather dared to land on him.
“Good.”
She grabbed a glass and filled it with water before crossing the room to the table. Both Isaac and Lesli were perched at the island, so the table allowed Nikki plenty of space. Something she needed desperately.
“Are you okay?” Isaac asked after Nikki finished the water.
“Just a headache. I’ll be fine.” And she would be. She was a survivor. She’d been through worse, though she couldn’t remember when. Lesli, god bless her, was at Nikki’s elbow in an instant with the pain pills she craved. “Thank you,” she said, just before she tossed the pills in her mouth and took another long drink of water.
After the room settled around her, Nikki started to get up to get a bowl of the soup, but Lesli was already on the task. The woman had the steaming bowl sitting on the table before Nikki even had time to push her chair back.
“Sit, sit.” Leslie was already buzzing around the kitchen cleaning up some imaginary mess near the sink. “This is why I’m here.”
“Thank you.” Nikki took a spoonful of the divine soup and blew on it softly as she turned to study Isaac. “So, did you reach satisfactory terms? Or can you not tell me?” Nikki was dismayed at how much venom seeped into the question. She didn’t need him having any more power over her than he already did, and letting him know she was still hurt and angry was handing him power.
“I believe we did.” He blew on a spoonful of his soup before putting it into his mouth. He took his time chewing and swallowing the bite before continuing.
Nikki wasn’t surprised that he didn’t go into any details. “Good.”
They ate in silence for a few minutes, every bite of the soup filling her and making her feel better—stronger—than she’d been when she’d woken up.
“I need to go out in about a half an hour,” Isaac said when her soup was almost gone. “If it’s going to take you longer to get ready, though, I’ll push back the appointment.”
So he expected her to go with him? “I can be ready in a half an hour,” she said, purposely vague.
“You could be, but will you?”
She smiled at how quickly he’d caught on. “I think the fewer people who know, the better.” She pushed the empty bowl back and stood to stretch. “Now, if you don’t mind, I think I’m going to go get a shower. I’m feeling a little stiff. I’m sure the hot water will help, though.”
He clenched his teeth together tightly, but still managed to nod in her general direction. “I’m sure it will,” he said after he released a slow breath. She picked up the bowl and carried it to the sink before she turned and left the room without looking back.
The hot water did indeed help, and by the time she stepped out of the shower, she was almost feeling back to normal. She would see this finished and then find that beach. A year from now, all of this would be a distant memory.
The silk of the sundress caressed her skin as she got dressed and the brush pulled at her hair as she dried it under the hair dryer, but she barely noticed either sensation. She was actually rather busy not feeling anything at the moment, and that was just the way she wanted it—the way she needed it to be. When she was ready, she went back to her room and put on a pair of strappy sandals before she made her way back down to the kitchen.
“I’m ready.”
“Then let’s get this done.” Isaac’s voice sounded as cold and detached as hers did.
“Right behind you.”
“Nic?”
Only her family called her that, and that he just did cut through her numbness just a little. But she’d be damned if she let him know that. “Yes?”
“I am sorry.”
She shrugged as she followed him out of the house. “That’s what you keep telling me.”
He sighed heavily but didn’t say anything else as he got into the car.
This time, as they drove, the silence hung over them heavily. She didn’t really have much to say to him and he apparently was all done apologizing to her. Not that she wanted to hear any more empty apologies. It was obvious they were just words, and she needed more than words right now.
When they pulled in front of a tattoo shop, however, she felt the need to speak. “Are you planning on getting fake ink and hoping to pass it off as the real deal?” By the way he stiffened, she guessed that was it. “It won’t work. He’ll see right through it no matter how good the artist is.”
“Thank you for that insight.”
“You’re welcome.”
“But I’ve secured one of the best forgers in the state. Your father—”
“My father hasn’t gotten where he is by being an idiot.”
“Won’t be able to tell the difference.”
“He isn’t even going to look at the ink. He’ll go to the source. How much torture do you think your forger will take before he breaks?”
“He doesn’t know who’s doing my ink.”
She glanced around quickly looking for anything out of the ordinary. And when she saw the dark sedan drive by them for a second time, she knew she’d found it. “In about two minutes, there’s going to be a late nineties, navy-blue sedan drive by again. As soon as you get out and head into the shop, I’m betting they park. The men inside will watch you get the ink and then, most likely, grab the man as he finishes his shift tonight.”
Isaac didn’t say anything but did wait for the two minutes needed for the sedan to make another pass, this time going the opposite direction. “Fuck.” Isaac punched the steering wheel to punctuate the word.
“And you can’t get his ink, either,” she added for good measure.
“That’s really my decision, isn’t it?”
“Not when he’s setting us both up to force me to use my magic to seduce you.” She looked out the window so he wouldn’t see her face as she said the words.
“And why would he do that? What would he have to gain? If I have his ink, I wouldn’t be a threat.”
He’d obviously been drinking his mother’s crazy-juice. “He never saw you as a threat. His vanity won’t let him see anyone as a threat. He saw you as a nuisance at best. And now he wants to send a message to all the nuisances out there who want to challenge him.” She paused to let him digest what she’d just said. “Remember how screwed up you were after the blood bond?” She braced her hand against the glass of the window, needing to feel the heat of the sun against her skin. “That would be classified as slightly confused compared to what my magic would do to you. Have you ever met someone in the grip of a seductress? They’d do anything. Change themselves, mold themselves to meet the seductress’s desires.”
“But you wouldn’t—”
This was the part they had to be really clear on. “If I’m blood bound to one of his men, I wouldn’t have a choice.” She turned to face him, hoping he saw the anguish buried deep in her soul. “And the crappiest part? It’d only suck for about the first five minutes. After that, I’d be so high I wouldn’t give a shit that it was you I was destroying. And make no mistake, it would destroy you. A dried-up husk would be all that was left after I was done.”
His body tensed, though with fear or disgust she couldn’t tell.
“I know I
haven’t made this easy, but I thought you had some feelings for me.” His voice was soft, but the harsh tone of hurt was obvious.
“I do.” She’d give him that much, but there was no way she would define those feelings for him. “That’d make the high even sweeter.” She couldn’t reach out to him, but her fingers still itched to feel his strength. And, with nothing else to keep them preoccupied, she was forced to fold them neatly on her lap. “My father loved my mom—and not just desire or infatuation. You should’ve seen them together.” Her throat tightened with emotion as she remembered the days of happiness that preceded her mom’s death. “When a seductress falls, they fall hard. It’s the balance the universe demands. And he fell for her. He lived to see her smile, breathed only so he could witness her next moment of joy, died a little when she so much as shed a tear.” Her voice broke as a tear of her own escaped and rolled gently down her cheek.
“What happened?”
“He loved power, too. A little too much. When my mother became concerned and went to the enforcers, my father decided it was time to make sure she was looking out for his best interests.” She’d been there that night. The first night her father had used his magic against her mom. He hadn’t known it, but Nikki had come down for a drink of water and had seen it all. “He only meant to bend her, to use just the smallest touch of his magic. He wanted her to desire power as much he did.” Another tear followed the first as she relived the moment.
“Did it work?”
“Not at first. She was a strong woman and realized what he’d done immediately. She grabbed me and my sister and left that night. But over time she started to crave him. One little touch of his magic wasn’t enough for her. She fought it. She fought it for months. But, in the end, she wasn’t strong enough. Three months later, after the enforcers told her there was nothing they could do and the DEA was still locked in endless debates about jurisdiction and probable cause, she gave in and went back to him. She expected to be welcomed back with open arms and she was. But not because he missed her. He craved the high he got that night when he used his magic on her. He didn’t love anyone as much as he loved her, and no one else gave him the same high. Over the next week, he drained her dry. When there was nothing of her left, he paid someone to finish her off so his hands would be clean.”
Bond Betrayed Page 13
