But Rachel was worried, of course. She was worried sick. She kept picturing those ravines, thick underbrush, wild animals—who knew what dangers lurked out there for a child who was barely six years old? And it was getting dark. Poor Aaron must be terrified.
“Seth called Uncle Cody from his car phone,” Paige said, hanging on to her mother’s hand. “Uncle Cody came with some other guys, and then the amb’lance came. Everybody’s out in the woods now, yelling for Aaron. Is Aaron going to get in trouble, Mama?”
“No, Paige, Aaron isn’t in trouble,” Rachel said. “I just hope he’s okay.” Please, God, let him be all right.
One of the men stepped forward, and Rachel greeted him with a tight smile. “Hello, Jim. You’ve been helping with the search?”
He nodded and patted her arm awkwardly. “Yeah. Jake called me,” he explained.
Rachel nodded at the mention of Cody’s partner. She suspected that Cody had headed for the woods as soon as Seth called, leaving instructions for Jake to call for more help. “Thank you for coming, Jim. Have you heard anything?”
Jim shook his head. “Not yet. Aaron’s been missing about an hour and a half, close as we can tell. But don’t you worry, Rachel. Pete Cunningham’s kid was lost for ten hours out there once, and he turned up just fine.”
Ten hours. Rachel felt her stomach turn. One of the other men nudged Jim and muttered something that made Jim swallow and say, “I’m sure they’ll find Aaron sooner than that. He’s just a little kid. How far could he get in an hour?”
The man who’d interrupted before rolled his eyes and pulled Jim away. “Let’s go help ‘em look,” he said gruffly. “Ms. Evans can stay with her little girl now.”
Celia slipped an arm around Rachel’s waist. “They’ll find him, Rach. He’ll be fine.”
“I hope you’re right,” Rachel whispered, holding her daughter close to her side. “Oh, I hope you’re right.”
It was a very long half hour later that a shout came from the path. Celia and Paige had been sitting on the trunk of Celia’s car, talking in low voices, while Rachel paced, unable to sit or stand still. It was almost completely dark now, the only light coming from the headlights of the vehicles parked around them and the flashlights the search parties carried. Rachel whirled in response to the rapidly approaching sounds of men’s voices and heavy footsteps. She gasped and darted forward when two uniformed paramedics stepped onto the road, carrying a stretcher between them. A tiny body lay on the stretcher, and Cody and Seth walked closely on either side of it.
“Aaron!” Rachel put out a shaking hand to touch her son’s tousled head, reassuring herself that he was breathing and all in one piece.
He wore a neck brace and his right arm was splinted, his face was scratched and filthy and tear streaked, and his clothes were torn and dirty. He looked up at Rachel with huge, apologetic eyes. “I’m sorry, Mama. I was chasing a rabbit and it kept running and I got lost. And then I got scared and I ran some more and I fell into a big hole. I hurt my arm. And then I heard Seth shouting my name, and I yelled and he and Uncle Cody found me.”
“We think his arm is broken,” Cody explained, putting a hand on Rachel’s shoulder. “But other than that, he seems fine.”
“You can ride in the ambulance with him if you want, ma’am,” one of the paramedics offered. “We’d like to get under way now.”
Rachel nodded, her hand still resting on Aaron’s head, her gaze still focused on his weary little face. “All right. Celia, you’ll bring Paige?”
“Of course,” Celia replied, her hands on her niece’s shoulders.
“Rachel.” Seth came around the side of the stretcher, reaching out to Rachel with one dirty, badly scratched hand. He was almost as disheveled as Aaron, she noted when she glanced his way. His face looked pale in the artificial light from several sets of car headlamps. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I know you must have been frantic.”
“I don’t blame you, Seth,” she said distractedly. “I knew you weren’t experienced with children. I shouldn’t have let them come without me.”
His hand fell to his side. If possible, his face went even whiter. Cody murmured something Rachel didn’t catch and didn’t take time to ask him to repeat.
The paramedics carefully loaded Aaron into the ambulance, and Rachel climbed in behind him, her attention fully claimed by her frightened, wounded child. A moment later, they were under way.
Chapter Fifteen
By the time Aaron’s broken arm was set and he was taken home, fed and tucked into bed, Rachel was exhausted. Celia and Cody were still hanging around, Celia staying close to Paige while Rachel was busy with Aaron. Rachel wasn’t quite sure why Cody hadn’t left yet. She would have thought he’d head for his club, but he said only that Jake could handle everything alone for an evening. He waited until Aaron was in bed and Celia was tucking Paige in before he cornered Rachel in the kitchen.
“I think we need to talk,” he said as she poured herself a cup of coffee. He was sitting at her table, a half-eaten sandwich on a plate in front of him, a full cup of coffee steaming at his side. His face was unusually grave, his eyes intent and serious. “It’s about Seth.”
Rachel had just been thinking about Seth, as a matter of fact. She’d seen him briefly in the hospital emergency room waiting area, but she’d been preoccupied with Aaron and hadn’t had a chance to talk to him. Later, she’d been told that Seth had waited only until he’d known for sure that Aaron would be all right and then had left. She’d assumed that he’d gone home to clean up and change, and had more than half expected him to show up at her door this evening. Or at least to call. He’d done neither.
“What about Seth?” she asked Cody, taking a chair across the table from him.
“You really hurt him this afternoon,” Cody said with the frankness of a sibling. “I was surprised at you, Rachel. The poor guy didn’t deserve it.”
Her eyes widened in shock. “What are you talking about?” she demanded. “I hardly had time to speak to Seth this afternoon! And I assured him that I didn’t blame him for what happened to Aaron.”
Cody snorted. “Yeah, right. You basically told him it was all your fault for trusting him with your kids in the first place. Real nice, Rachel.”
“That’s not what I said.”
“Didn’t you?”
I knew you weren’t experienced with children. I shouldn’t have let them come without me. She could almost hear her own words repeating inside her head.
“Oh, Cody, I didn’t mean it the way you make it sound. Surely you know that. Surely Seth knows.”
“How could he know? It was exactly what you said, Rachel. He was already blaming himself for letting Aaron get out of his sight. Aaron admitted that Seth told him not to wander off, but Aaron ran off, anyway, chasing that rabbit. Paige told us that she was the one who’d distracted Seth with a lot of questions, and you know how easily she can do that,” he reminded her.
“Anyway,” he continued relentlessly, “Seth called me for help barely fifteen minutes after he noticed Aaron was missing, because he knew I was more familiar with the woods than he was. And because he wanted to make sure someone was watching out for Paige while he kept looking for Aaron. By the time I got there, the guy was half-frantic, but determined to find Aaron. Rachel, he did exactly what he should have done under the circumstances. It could just as easily have happened if the kids had been with me. Or with you.”
“Oh, Cody, I know that. Anyone who’s ever watched children knows how quickly they can get away. I only meant that Seth probably didn’t realize that because he’s had so little experience with them. I honestly didn’t mean to make him feel that I didn’t trust him with my children.”
“It’s what you said,” Cody repeated stubbornly.
Rachel groaned and buried her face in her hands. Remembering her words. Remembering Seth’s expression. Maybe she had meant the words more than she’d realized. Maybe all her emotional worries during the afternoon, combined
with her stark fear for Aaron’s safety, had made her lash out at Seth in reaction, without even realizing it.
She must have hurt him very badly.
“I’ll call him,” she said, lifting her head and glancing toward the telephone. “I’ll explain.”
“Look, Seth’s been my friend for a long time,” Cody said. “He and I lost touch for a few years, but there was a time when I knew him probably better than anyone. I know he’s spent most of his life trying to prove himself to the people he cares about, and usually feeling like he failed them. Nothing he ever did was right, as far as his family was concerned. It finally just got easier for him to quit trying.”
Rachel winced. “Are you saying I’m like Seth’s family? That I’m too demanding, that I expect too much from people?” she asked in a whisper.
Cody reached across the table to take her hand. “I love you, Rachel. You’re a very giving, very capable person. You expect a great deal from others, but you demand even more from yourself. All I’m saying is, it’s okay to make mistakes sometimes. It’s okay to be human. You have to give yourself permission not to be perfect, not to be Superwoman. And you have to give Seth credit for trying, even when he makes mistakes.”
Rachel’s cheeks burned. She wouldn’t have taken this from anyone else, she realized. She would have heatedly denied every word of it. But Cody was one person who harbored no illusions about himself, or others. He accepted people as they were, flaws and all, and enjoyed them, anyway. And he’d never been anything less than completely honest with her.
“Do you think Seth can forgive me for what I said? For what my words implied?” she whispered.
Cody smiled and squeezed her hand. “The guy’s so crazy about you he’d forgive you anything,” he assured her. “I never thought I’d see my ol’ buddy fall so hard and so fast, though I certainly can’t fault him for his taste. He’s a great guy, Rachel, and you’re a very special woman. You belong together.”
She tried to return his smile but found that she couldn’t. “I’m scared.”
“I know. Hell, I would be, too,” he said. “Why do you think I’ve worked so hard at not falling in love with anyone? It looks like a very painful process, as far as I’m concerned. But it’s too late for Seth, I guess. And it’s too late for you, too, isn’t it, sis?”
Rachel stared at him, then nodded. Very slowly. With a sudden, shocking, undeniable conviction that Cody was right. It really was too late for her. She was in love with Seth Fletcher. Probably had been for weeks, despite her fierce resistance.
When had it happened? When she’d come home to find him struggling to put together a swing set for her son? When he had rushed to assist her the night Holder had called with his ugly threats? The night they’d made love? Or maybe the first time he’d looked up from his house of cards and flashed that bright, sexy smile at her?
All these weeks, she thought dazedly, she’d been fighting so hard to resist him. Asking herself if she really wanted to get involved with him, if she really wanted him to become a part of her life. And all the time, it had already been too late.
“I have to talk to him,” she said, thinking of him alone now, still shaken from his fear for Aaron, utterly convinced that he’d let her down when she’d trusted him with her children. God, she’d been cruel with her thoughtless words. Even though she hadn’t really meant to be, it had been inexcusable of her. “I have to explain....”
“Do you really want to try to do that over the phone?” Cody asked quietly.
“No,” Rachel said instantly, shaking her head.
“Then what are you waiting for? It’s getting late. The guy’s probably into a heavy depression by now. Go put him out of his misery.”
Rachel moistened her lips. “Now?” She wasn’t at all sure she was up to that tonight. It had been such a difficult, traumatic day....
But it had been just as hard for Seth. And he was alone now. Not surrounded, as she was, by people who loved despite flaws.
“Can you think of a better time?” Cody asked, still wearing that sympathetic, understanding smile.
Rachel shook her head. “No. But the children...”
“Celia and I will watch out for the kids. And in case you’re interested, I don’t have any plans till morning, so there’s no need for you to rush back home.”
She flushed and smiled at the same time. Impulsively she stood and threw her arms around her brother’s neck. “I love you,” she said, and kissed his cheek.
“I know. Now get lost.”
* * *
It occurred to Rachel as she parked in front of Seth’s neat little brick rented house on the other side of town that she’d never even been inside it before. They’d driven past it once, after taking the children out for dinner. Seth had said that it was the first conveniently located place he’d found to live when he’d moved to Percy, and that he had planned to build a new place eventually.
His car was parked in the driveway, and there was a light on in the front window. She took a deep breath and rang the doorbell, then nervously wiped her hands on the knit slacks she’d changed into after taking Aaron home from the hospital. She didn’t know quite what she was going to say. It wasn’t at all like her to take chances like this. To go into something this important without careful forethought and planning.
The door opened, and her pulse went into double time.
Seth had showered and changed since she’d seen him last. His hair was still damp, that thick forelock tumbled boyishly over his eyes. He wore a gray sweatshirt and black sweatpants and a pair of white socks. No shoes. There was a deep, angry-looking scratch on his right cheek, and another on his chin. His eyes were shadowed, looking weary and dispirited.
Rachel thought he looked wonderful. “May I come in?” she prodded when he only looked at her without saying anything.
“Oh, yeah. Sure.” He moved aside to let her pass, then closed the door behind him. “Is Aaron all right?” he asked.
“Aaron’s fine. He was sound asleep when I left. Cody and Celia are baby-sitting.”
“Is he in any pain? Does his arm hurt very badly?”
Rachel shook her head, touched by the obviously sincere concern in Seth’s expression. “He’s fine,” she repeated. “Once the fright wore off, he began to enjoy all the attention.”
She stepped closer to him and reached up to lightly touch the swollen abrasion on his cheek. The clean, soapy scent of freshly showered male tickled her nostrils. “Did you put anything on this?” she asked him.
Seth stood very still beneath her touch, his eyes impossible to read. “No. It’s okay. Just a scratch.”
“It’s rather deep. Do you have any antiseptic? You don’t want to let it get infected.”
He shook his head, dislodging her fingers. “It’s okay.”
She let her hand fall. “You look tired,” she said. “Have you eaten?”
“Rachel. Why are you here?”
She took a deep breath. “I came to thank you. And to apologize.”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I want to thank you for taking such good care of Aaron this afternoon. Had you not acted so quickly in getting help, he could have been lost for hours in the dark. He’d have been terrified. And I want to apologize for not thanking you sooner. My only excuse is that I was so distracted with worrying about my son that I couldn’t seem to think of anything else.”
Seth stared at her for a moment, his expression heartbreaking, then turned his head. “I let him get lost,” he said gruffly. “You were right, Rachel. I don’t know anything about taking care of kids. I should have waited until you could go with us before trying something like that.”
She shook her head. “I should have been with you this afternoon, but not because you aren’t fully capable of taking care of the children, Seth. I should have been there because I belonged there. Because my children deserve to know that they are more important to me than a few hours of paperwork. And so are you.”
�
�Rachel, I—”
“You didn’t lose Aaron, Seth. He lost himself. He could have just as likely chased that rabbit into the woods had I been there with you, and he would have been just as lost. Children are capable of disappearing very quickly, as many perfectly responsible parents have learned to their dismay. I plan to have a long, stern talk with him about what he did as soon as he recovers a bit, to let him know that when he’s told not to wander off, I expect him to follow orders. Maybe you should be with me when we have that talk,” she added. “After all, it was your instructions that he disobeyed. We don’t want him to make a habit of that.”
Seth looked at her questioningly. “You make that sound as though I’ll be around to give further instructions in the future.”
She nodded bravely. “I certainly hope you will be,” she murmured.
He touched her face with the fingertips of one hand, and she felt the tremor in them. Was he so very unsure of himself? she wondered. So very unsure of her?
“I still feel like I let you down this afternoon,” he said, as though in answer to her unspoken question.
“No,” she whispered. “You didn’t let me down, Seth. You never have. But I’ve let you down, over and over. I was afraid to care for you, afraid to let you into my life and into my heart. I was so afraid of being hurt again, of being left alone again if something went wrong.”
“I’ve never wanted to hurt you, Rachel.” Seth cupped her face between his hands. “Don’t you know that by now?”
“I trust you, Seth,” she said, looking up at him without hesitation. “With my children, and with my heart. I love you.”
“Oh, God.” He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers.
“I know it would serve me right if you’ve changed your mind about loving me,” she continued doggedly, staring at the pulsing hollow of his throat. “I’ve been a coward and a shrew. I work too hard and I worry too much and I don’t laugh or tease enough. I expect too much from people. I’m a compulsive list maker and obsessive about details and schedules and I—”
A Man for Mom Page 21
