by Joan Hohl
She needed a shower. Not a cold one like men needed to ward off building passion, but a hot one that always left her feeling limp and drowsy.
Moving slowly, grimacing at the pull in her legs, Becca sat up onto the edge of the bed, tentatively getting to her feet. Okay, so far. Standing, she slowly walked into the bathroom. After standing under the hot spray from the shower for several minutes, she emerged, the flush of desire gone, along with much of the stiffness in her legs, the tenderness between them.
Becca stood in the steamy bathroom, blow-drying her hair, when the niggling sensation in her mind burst forth with its revelation. The echo of Seth’s murmured words as she had drifted off to sleep came through loud and clear.
That was fantastic.
Meaning fantastic sex. That’s all he’d thought it was. Just sex. A chill washed over her, chasing the warmth from the shower, leaving her body shivering. Biting her lip to hold back threatening tears, Becca turned off the dryer and rushed into the bedroom to dress.
Damn him, she raged in furious silence. He had done it again. Only this time, instead of being satisfied with merely shutting her up with a kiss, he had taken it to the limit, using her to satisfy himself with her body. And she, blind fool that she was, had surrendered herself to him.
How could she ever face him again? What must he be thinking of her? She had been eager, wanton, a willing partner in his self-indulgence.
That Seth had given her unimaginable pleasure in return didn’t matter. Becca now knew she was not just infatuated with him. She was in love with him, while he…he…
Sniffing, she finished fastening her bra, swiped a hand over her moist eyes and pulled a hot pink T-shirt over her head. Telling herself she absolutely refused to cry over any man, she sniffed again while stepping into jeans, noting that although they were still loose on her, they weren’t as loose as they had been two weeks ago.
Slipping into ballerina flats, Becca glanced into the mirror, grimacing at the wild tangled mess of her dark, straight hair. As she tamed her hair with a brush, she caught the aroma of brewing coffee and frying bacon. Sue must be back and cooking breakfast…and it smelled wonderful.
Her stomach rumbled. The eyes reflected back at her from the mirror widened. How could she be hungry at a time like this? Becca frowned at her reflection. Maybe because she hadn’t eaten since she had picked at her lunch yesterday. Not to mention the “exercise” in the afternoon and during the night.
But Becca didn’t want to think about that. Satisfied with just smoothing moisturizer on her face, she skipped makeup and left the room.
Maybe, just maybe, if she were lucky, Becca thought as she made her way to the kitchen, after what happened between them, Seth had left the house earlier and was on his way back to Philadelphia.
She should live so long.
Becca took one step inside the kitchen and stopped dead in her tracks. Sue was not in the room. Instead, Seth stood at the stove, pouring beaten eggs from a bowl into a sizzling frying pan. He glanced over his shoulder at her, saw her cool expression and raised his brows.
“Good morning.” He didn’t smile.
“Morning.” She didn’t smile, either.
He did frown. “Have a seat, breakfast will be ready in a few minutes.” He turned away to stir the eggs and flip over the bacon.
Ignoring his invitation, Becca walked to the coffeepot and filled one of the mugs set on the countertop. Then she returned to sit down at the table. Carefully sipping the hot brew, she watched him lay pieces of bacon onto a towel to drain, then separate the eggs onto two plates. He was doing the same with the bacon when she spoke.
“I’m not very hungry.” Her stomach clutched at the bald-faced lie.
Now, Seth ignored her. He brought the two plates to the table and set one in front of her. “You must be,” he said mildly. “You haven’t eaten anything but those couple of bites of your sandwich yesterday.”
“But—” she began, only to have him cut in.
“Eat, Becca,” he ordered. “Or do you want to make yourself ill all over again?”
“Of course not,” she protested, her mouth watering from the scent of the eggs and bacon wafting to her. “I’m just—”
“You’re just what?” Sharp impatience rode his tone. “Waiting for the toast? It’s on a plate right there in the middle of the table.”
“But…” she tried again, to no avail.
Seth scowled at her, and said coldly, “Becca, shut up and eat.”
Shut up…again? She glared at him.
He glared right back at her. Then he shrugged. “Have it your own way. I’m hungry and the food’s getting cold.” Looking away from her, he calmly began to eat.
For a moment, her mind and her stomach battled. When he reached for a piece of toast and slathered strawberry jam on it, her stomach won. With a soft sigh of defeat, Becca dug in to her breakfast.
They ate in tense, uneasy silence. Even so, Becca finished every morsel on her plate and two pieces of toast. She moved to get up to refill her mug. Seth was faster. Rising, he walked to the countertop and brought the pot back to the table with him. After filling both mugs, he set the pot down and turned to look at her.
“Okay, what’s your problem?” he said, continuing before she could think of a response. “Regret? Remorse? Shame? Guilt?”
She held his steady gaze while corralling her thoughts into a cohesive reply.
“All of the above?” he asked.
“No. Yes.” Becca shook her head at the demanding note in his voice. “I don’t know.”
Seth gave a deep sigh. “Becca, I don’t understand. This morning you give me the cold shoulder. After last night I thought—”
“Yes, I know what you thought,” she snapped back at him. “You thought it was great sex.”
“No,” he denied. “I thought it was fantastic sex. So, what’s wrong with that?”
What was wrong with that? Becca asked herself, raking her mind for an answer. Well, in all honesty, nothing was wrong with fantastic sex. In fact, fantastic sex was…well, fantastic…between two committed people. But they—she and Seth—weren’t committed. She now realized she was in love with him, crazy in love with him. So then, wasn’t she committed?
Maybe she ought to be committed, into a room with padded walls, she chided herself.
“So?” Seth prompted her after her lengthy silence. “I asked what’s wrong with that?”
“I…” She shook her head, shrugged, desperate for a coherent response. “I don’t…” She was interrupted by the kitchen door swinging open, Sue practically dancing into the room.
“Good morning,” she said, her voice light with a happy note.
Becca’s immediate thought was that it would appear Sue had enjoyed some pretty good sex, as well. “Good morning, Sue.” She and Seth spoke in unison. Relieved at being saved from answering him, she asked, “Have you had breakfast?”
“Yes.” Pink tinged her cheeks. “John and I had the breakfast buffet at the Coffee Shop.”
“This Coffee Shop does breakfast buffet?” Seth arched his brows. “Every morning?”
Sue shook her head. “No, only on the weekend. They lay it on, too. The place gets packed.” The color deepened in her cheeks. “John made reservations last night to make sure we could get in.”
“Hmm, I’ll keep that in mind.” He shifted a glance at Becca. “Where is this place located?”
“Halfway down the street from John’s office.” Sue flushed again, obviously with the mere mention of John’s name. “Is there any coffee?” she asked, neatly changing the conversation.
“It’s gone cold.” Becca slid her chair back. “I’ll make a fresh pot.”
Seth’s chair scraped back at the same time. “No, I’ll make it.”
Becca stood and favored him with a patently fake smile. “You can clear the table. I’ll get the coffee.” She turned her attention to Sue before he could utter a protest. “So, how was your dinner?”
“It wa
s wonderful, John cooked it.” The flush was back. “How was the chicken veggie pie?”
Pie? Becca stopped cold, her mind a momentary blank. Memory returned, and her cheeks flushed. Oh, heavens, the supper Sue had prepared for them. They had completely forgotten, with good reason. She flashed a quick look at Seth. A tiny smile played at the corners of his lips, and arching a brow, he blandly returned her look.
No help from that quarter. Facing Sue, she plastered a smile on her lips. “I’m afraid I never got to it. I made do with lunch, then went right to my room.” She shot Seth a smug look and an innocent tone. “What about you, Seth. Did you have the pie for dinner?”
“No, I didn’t want to bake it just for myself,” he returned, his voice smooth, unruffled. “I didn’t have much of an appetite anyway.” He gave Sue a charming, disarming smile. “The three of us can have it for dinner tonight, if you’re planning on being here.”
“Oh, I am, but—” Sue hesitated, before looking at Becca and rushing on “—I hope you don’t mind, Becca, I’ve invited John to dinner. I’m sure there’ll be enough pie for the four of us.”
“Of course, I don’t mind,” Becca said, silently sighing with relief. Hopefully, the tension between her and Seth would dry up with Sue and John there. “As for being enough, we can always add to the salad Seth and I didn’t finish yesterday.”
“Oh, thank you.” Sue sighed aloud. “I know I should have asked you first but…”
“Don’t be silly,” Becca said, bringing the coffeepot and a clean mug to the table. “Coffee’s ready. Do you want a refill, Seth?”
“Yes, thank you,” he eyed her warily, as if not sure from her pleasant tone what her mood was.
“Well, I’ve had enough coffee this morning. I think I’ll collect my laundry and wash it.” Despite Sue’s arguments, Becca had insisted from the day after she arrived at the house that she would do her own wash. She was walking through the archway into the dining room when she leveled a zinger at Seth over her shoulder. “I think I’ll launder the sheets, as well.”
“But I thought you just changed sheets three days ago,” Sue called after her.
Becca halted, a wicked smile feathering her lips. “I did, but I had a couple of nightmares last night, and I was perspiring all over the sheets. They now have a bad smell.”
Seven
“S weaty and smelly from nightmares, are they?”
Becca froze at the sound of Seth’s low-pitched voice. Her fingers curled into the bottom sheet she had been tugging from the mattress.
“Strange…they didn’t seem like nightmares to me. They were a lot more pleasurable than nightmares.”
Oh, why had she left her bedroom door open? she wondered, afraid Sue might be able to hear him. Bracing herself, she turned to face him. He was standing at the doorway. He hadn’t taken one step inside.
“May I come in?” Seth’s smile was wry. “Even though it’s mighty tempting with those sheets all rumpled and smelling of sex, I promise I won’t pick you up and toss you onto the bed.”
Damn right you won’t, Becca thought. “I didn’t suspect you would,” she said.
His brows went up. “Then…?”
“Why, what do you want?”
Now the smile that crept over his alluring mouth, the sudden darkening of his amber eyes, said volumes without him uttering a sound. “I think we need to talk.”
“All right, come in.” She sighed. “But…” There was a warning note in her voice.
“You have my word,” he murmured, stepping inside and quietly closing the door behind him.
“Okay, talk away,” Becca said, turning back to continue stripping the bed.
Unfazed, he circled the bed to the padded boudoir chair set next to the window. “May I?” He indicated the small chair.
Becca didn’t look away from what she was doing, only yanked harder on the sheets. “If you must,” she said, sighing loudly.
He chuckled softly, seating himself.
His laughter tickled down the length of her spine and back up to the nape of her neck. Why did the man have such a melting effect on her? He always had, and Becca had worked hard all the years she’d assisted him not to betray her feelings.
Watching him with quick sidelong glances as she worked, she saw him stretch his long legs out and cross his ankles. While she mused that by rights he should look uncomfortable in the small chair, he managed to appear completely relaxed.
How did he do that? Puzzled by his apparent comfort in the lady’s chair, Becca slid another long glance at him and immediately wished she hadn’t, for he was watching her.
“You said you wanted to talk.” Irritation, more at herself than him, shaded her tones. “About what?”
“First, I’d like to know why you had to mention anything to Sue about having to change the sheets? I was thinking we had a great time making those sheets sweaty and smelly. But then, I had believed you were thinking the same.”
Her mind a sudden blank, Becca stood there by the bed staring at him, the soiled linens bundled in her arms.
Of course, she knew the answer. She’d said it because she felt hurt, used and longing for something more than sex. She loved him. She wanted nothing more than to repeat their night together every night for the rest of her life.
But Seth didn’t love her. It didn’t take a genius to figure that one out. Oh, she supposed he liked her okay, in his own gruff way, and certainly he respected her ability as his assistant in the operating room. But he had never once indicated any personal interest in her before. So why now, and here?
Suddenly she realized she had been quiet too long, simply staring into his now closed expression. What had he said? Oh, yeah, something about him believing she’d enjoyed their lovemaking as much as he had.
“I admit I did enjoy our night together,” she finally replied. “It had…uh, been a while for me,” she blurted out, at once regretting the admission.
His expression went from closed to hard and cold. “I see…I was a handy convenience.” His voice was every bit as hard and cold as his expression.
Becca felt almost as though he had slapped her. Without a thought, she retaliated. “It appears we were handy conveniences for each other.”
“Umm.” That was the only sound he made. Slowly, his gaze still locked onto hers, his expression softened, his eyes warmed with sensuality. “In that case, while I’m here, why not continue the arrangement?” A half smile formed on his lips. “Sex is a healthy outlet for tension and stress, and we’ve both endured plenty of that for some time.”
Stunned speechless, Becca simply stared at him, unable to believe he had actually said that to her. But then, he was a man and she’d read somewhere that men thought about sex every few minutes. Seth had very likely been celibate for a long time. At least she felt sure he hadn’t been with a woman during the time he had been in Africa. As small as the village was, the grapevine was always up and running and she’d have heard about it if he had been seeing a woman.
Of course, Seth had been back in Philadelphia for a month now. He could have…Becca didn’t want to think about what he could have been doing.
“I hate to intrude on your introspection, but is your silence a way of saying no to my proposal?” Now his voice was bone-dry, and a little gravelly.
Becca felt stuck between a rock of pride and a hard place of desire. Which did she need more, her pride or…? Pride lost the battle hands down.
“How long are you planning on being here?” she asked, avoiding giving him a definite answer.
“I told Colin I’d be gone a week.” He shrugged. “Colin has held it together long enough. It’s time I got back to work.”
“I like Colin,” Becca said, fully aware she was biding for extra time.
“So do I or I wouldn’t be in practice with him,” he said, giving a brief shake of his head. “But that has nothing to do with the subject at hand. All I want, Becca, is a yes or a no.”
She drew a breath, a deep one, once again
avoiding an answer by saying, “I’ll think about it and let you know.” What a coward you are, Becca derided herself. Too gutless to grab what you want.
“Your call,” Seth said, rising to nonchalantly stroll to the door, where he paused to glance back at her. “While you’re thinking, keep in mind that we’re both adults,” he said. “At least, I am.” He walked out, closing the door quietly behind him.
“Damn,” Becca muttered, flinging the bundle of sheets to the floor. She stood still for a moment, breathing hard. He was right. He was an adult. She was the one acting like a child…a bad-tempered one at that.
She opened a dresser drawer to take out a set of clean sheets and proceeded to remake the bed.
As she hadn’t eaten breakfast until late morning, Becca skipped lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon in her room, relaxing and reading, but in plain truth, she was hiding from Seth.
In an attempt to keep her thoughts at bay, she took a long, hot bath, scrubbing every inch of her body with a single-mindedness that left her skin tingling.
By the time Becca had done her hair and was dressed in wide-legged flowing pants and a loose pullover top, she had made up her mind as to exactly what her answer to Seth was going to be.
Finally leaving her bedroom, Becca’s steps were light as she walked into the kitchen. Sue was bent over, her head stuck in the fridge.
“Are you caught in there, Sue?” she said, laughing as she crossed to the older woman. “Can I help?”
Laughing along with her, Sue backed out of the fridge, the chicken vegetable pie in her hands. “Yes, you can get the salad and cut up more ingredients to toss into it to stretch it to make enough for four.” She raised her eyebrows. “You did remember that John is coming for dinner?”
“Yes, I remembered.” Becca took Sue’s place in the fridge, gathering veggies from the bottom drawer. “What time do you expect him?” she asked, straightening and shutting the door with a swing of her hips.
Sue was sliding the pie into the oven. “I told him six,” she said, closing the oven door. “Did you have a nice nap?”
“Not really.” Becca grinned. “I guess I wasn’t as tired as I thought.” She glanced around and into the dining room and the living room beyond. “Where is Seth?”
