But, he couldn’t let his marriage go. Not for this single mistake. He wanted his wife; he wanted his family. And he was going to do whatever he had to do to keep it all together.
Looking down at the Bible in his lap, he knew this book held all his answers. Only God could bring him out of this misery. Jefferson closed his eyes and prayed.
“Heavenly Father, I don’t know what to say. I feel such shame and guilt. But I know that You have forgiven me and I thank You for Your grace and mercy. With Your grace, I have peace and I thank you for that, Lord. Jesus, I thank you for the blood. Your blood that covers me now and that covered me before I was born. Now, Father, my prayer is that You lead me. Show me what You want me to see. Speak the words that you want me to hear. I am yours, Lord . . .”
He opened his eyes and turned the pages of the Bible.
First, the Lord led him to Isaiah 43:25, I even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake and remembers your sins no more. Then to I John 1:9, If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. Then to the Book of Psalms 103:12, As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As tears rolled down his face, the Lord continued his healing. He read and read, quoting scriptures out loud, savoring them in his heart. He hungered for the Word with an ardor he’d never before experienced. And the Lord fed his spirit, satisfying him, making him full.
The pages of the Bible seemed to turn themselves and he continued reading, unable, unwilling to stop. The hours passed and, finally exhausted, he turned to Hebrews 8:12, For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more . . .
Jefferson remained still as the words he read sank into his heart. Finally, he walked to his bed and, still fully clothed, climbed under the covers. The peace that he’d felt in his heart now consumed his entire being. He knew that he would have his family back; not because of himself, but because of God’s grace. He didn’t know how it was going to happen, but he knew that was God’s business.
He closed his eyes, knowing that the torment that still grieved him would gradually be lifted. God’s forgiveness was instant, but now he had to forgive himself. He began to drift into sleep, but before he fell into complete unconsciousness, God had one more message for him. The words of a Psalm that he wasn’t even familiar with came to his mind . . . weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. Then, he slept.
Fifteen
* * *
Before the alarm clock shrilled, alerting her to the six o’clock hour, Jasmine slapped the off button. Stretching across the bed, she rubbed her hands along her legs, aching from lack of sleep. She turned over and looked at the phone.
She still hadn’t spoken to him, even though she’d called him until the late hours of the night, but he had not answered and now Jasmine felt her time was running out. As long as Kyla was in L.A., there was always the chance that the Blakes could reconcile.
The numbers on the clock flipped to 6:10. Still too early to call, but desperation was beginning to override courtesy and she picked up the receiver, dialing the number without hesitation. When she heard Jefferson’s voice on the answering machine, she slammed the phone down. “Where is he?” she muttered, in exasperation.
The ringing phone startled her. “Hello,” she exclaimed, barely able to keep the excitement from her voice.
“Good morning.”
Jasmine slumped back against the headboard. “Serena . . .”
“I was just calling to see how you were doing. I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“No.”
“So . . . how are things?”
“If you were calling to find out how things are with me and Jefferson, they’re just fine.”
“I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“Serena, if you’ve called to lecture me, just save your quarter.”
“It just seems that this happened rather suddenly. Are you sure it’s all over between Jefferson and Kyla?”
Jasmine sighed. “Yes . . .”
“That’s hard to believe.”
Jasmine held her tongue.
“I’ll keep praying for you . . .” Serena said.
“Do that . . .”
“And call me. And call Dad. He misses you and knows that something is wrong.”
“I’ll think about it . . .”
“And, Jasmine. I love you.”
“Yeah,” she sighed again.
It was almost six-thirty when she hung up and went to stand at the window. Joggers and walkers filled the street, making use of the early-morning hours before the workday began. She sighed. It was time for her to get ready for work. But there was no way she could. Jefferson had to be able to get in touch with her and she didn’t think he had her work number. She could just leave it on the answering machine or at his office, but this was too important. She only had a few days to solidify their relationship, so she couldn’t leave any of this to chance. She’d have to wait for his call.
Jasmine dialed a number quickly, then pinched her nose and spoke. “Rose, this is Jasmine. I think I caught the cold you had yesterday. I was up all night and just came back from the pharmacy. I’m going to take something now that’ll hopefully knock me out, but I’ll check in with you this afternoon. Sorry about this.” She coughed before she hung up.
Now all that was left was to come up with a plan for her and Jefferson. It was time to move into aggressive mode. She dialed the Blakes’ number once again and waited for the answering machine.
“Jefferson, it’s me,” she said sweetly. “I’m still trying to get in touch with you. Please call me, I think we need to talk. I’ve taken the day off so that we can get together. Call me.”
She dialed the number to the clinic and left the same message with the service. Then sinking back into the bed, she sighed. Not at home, not at work—where was he? And then it hit her. With Kyla. They were probably together at Alexis’. She flipped through the phone book hoping she still had the number. She did, but knew she couldn’t just call. Alexis wouldn’t let her anywhere near Kyla.
Standing, she paced the floor. “Maybe I should just give this all up!” she exclaimed aloud. “If Jefferson and Kyla are together . . .” But as soon as the words were out of her mouth, her resolve returned. “No! It’s already done and it’s my turn to be happy.” She’d wait for an hour or two, she decided. If she didn’t hear from Jefferson by then, she’d do whatever she had to do to keep the two of them apart.
The coffee was already cold, but that didn’t bother Jefferson. Today, he was drinking out of habit. Even though he’d only had a few hours of sleep, he felt surprisingly energized. The Lord had a way of doing that.
He tapped the keyboard of his computer, checking the records of patients he would see later and stopped as he heard the steps on the stairs. He turned around.
“Hey, Brian. What are you doing here so early?”
“It’s not so early, it’s almost eight. How long have you been here?”
“I don’t know . . . a few hours.”
Brian sat down. “I take it Kyla’s not back?”
“No, but I saw her yesterday.”
“Yeah, Alexis told me. You know that’s where Kyla’s staying, right? I found out last night, but it was too late to call you.”
Jefferson nodded. “I didn’t know for sure, but I figured as much. Alexis was the one who made sure I got to see Kyla yesterday.”
“But it didn’t go well?”
“Not at all . . .”
“Then I take it you didn’t take my advice.”
Jefferson frowned. “No, I didn’t. I told you before, I wasn’t going to do that and frankly, I’m surprised at you.”
Brian shrugged. “Hey, if you love the lady . . .”
“That’s exactly why I won’t lie to her. It’s bad enough what I did; I’m not going to complicate it further.”
&
nbsp; “So what are you going to do?”
Jefferson shook his head. “I don’t know yet. But I’m going to fight. Kyla means too much to me to give up. I’m going to do whatever I have to do.”
“Whatever, huh? That covers a lot of territory.”
“Well, I’m willing to do anything. Except lie.”
Brian’s smile vanished and he became still, but within a few seconds he smiled again. “Sorry if you don’t like my methods, but I was just trying to help a friend who was in bed with a woman that wasn’t his wife.”
“Good morning, Dr. Blake, Dr. Lewis.”
Jefferson coughed and Brian lowered his head. “Good morning, Shannon.”
“Dr. Blake,” Shannon walked in and handed a folder to Jefferson, “Dr. Blunt and Dr. Cameron are waiting for you in the downstairs conference room.”
“Thanks, Shannon,” Jefferson said standing. “Could you please close the door on your way out?”
When Shannon left, Brian spoke. “Hey, man, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t know anyone else was here and . . .”
Jefferson held up his hands. “Forget it,” he sighed. “Look, I’ll see you later, okay?” he said as he left the office.
Brian shook his head and wondered if Jefferson and Kyla would ever get back together with the way Jefferson was handling things.
“Man, you should have listened to me,” he said to himself as he walked down the hall to his office. “You really should have just listened to me!”
“Okay, sweetie. I’ll speak to you either later tonight or tomorrow. I love you.”
Alexis walked into the kitchen just as Kyla hung up the telephone. “How is Nicole?” she asked as she got a mug from the cabinet and poured coffee from the coffeemaker.
“She’s the bright spot in my life,” Kyla sighed. “She’s having a good time with her friends and not even thinking about coming home.”
“Good thing,” Alexis said as she sat down at the dinette table, “with the way things are between you and Jefferson. I mean, you haven’t even talked to him . . .”
Kyla held up her hands. “Please, don’t start that again.”
“Well, it’s good that Nicole has someplace stable to be.”
“Well, I’ll be stable in a few days. As soon as Jefferson moves out.”
“I thought you said he wasn’t going to do that.”
“He will, once he sees that he doesn’t have a choice. I’m not sure about many things with my husband, but I’m sure that he doesn’t want his estranged wife and child to be homeless.”
Alexis sighed. “Didn’t you get anything out of our Bible study last night?”
Kyla folded her arms. “Forgiveness doesn’t mean that I have to live with the man who betrayed me.”
Alexis stood, taking her cup to the sink. “I can’t believe you’re saying it’s all over without even talking to Jefferson.”
Kyla rolled her eyes.
“Well . . . I’m going into the office. Are you going to be all right here?”
Kyla nodded. “Yeah, I don’t have to meet with Pastor Ford until this afternoon, so this morning I plan to try to get a little of myself back. I’m going to meditate and pray and I think I’m going to fast today, too.”
“That’s a good idea. When you pray, just pray hard and call me if you need anything.” Alexis picked up her briefcase and jacket.
Kyla closed the door behind her friend and smiled. She’d meant what she’d told Alexis. She was fine and would be, no matter what she decided to do. Because the Lord was with her. He said that in one of her favorite scriptures, Hebrews 13:5, I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.
Picking up the Bible from the table, she looked around, trying to decide where she would read. She headed for the balcony, set on enjoying the morning sun, when the phone rang.
Kyla laughed. She knew it was Alexis, calling from her car, just to check on her or give her some more advice.
“Hello.”
Silence. But Kyla could hear breathing.
“Hello,” she repeated.
Suddenly, the dial tone hummed in her ear.
She shrugged, but the moment she replaced the receiver, it rang again. She let it ring a few times before she picked it up again.
“Hello?”
This time the line clicked dead immediately.
Less than fifteen seconds later, the phone rang again and Kyla started to shake. She knew, she just knew, it was Jasmine.
Jefferson rushed back to his office and took off his lab jacket, replacing it with his sports coat. “Okay, Shannon. I’m on my way to UCLA. I’ll be there the rest of the afternoon, but I’ll be back this evening, probably after you’ve gone.”
“Okay,” she said as she followed him into his office. “There’s just one thing I need to tell you, though.”
“What?” Jefferson was distracted, focusing on the papers on his desk.
“Well, it’s kinda weird, but you’ve had a few phone calls this morning. Jasmine Larson has been calling . . .”
At the mention of her name, Jefferson’s head popped up. “Jasmine Larson?”
“Yeah.” Shannon started looking at the message slips she held in her hand. “She’s called six times in the last two hours.”
Jefferson could hear the dubiety in her voice and he lowered his eyes. “Uh . . . if she calls back, please ask her not to call me here. Tell her I’ll be gone for the rest of the day and she can reach me at home tonight. But, do not, under any circumstances, give her my pager or tell her where I am.” Jefferson knew his simple instructions would be followed without question. If he didn’t want to speak to Jasmine, she’d never make it past Shannon.
“Okay,” Shannon agreed. “Is there anything else?”
“No, no. I just need to make a quick call.”
When she closed the door, Jefferson rolled through his Rolodex and dialed the number. He was put through right away. “Good morning, Pastor. How are you? I’m fine, considering everything. The reason I’m calling is that this battle has moved to another level and I pray that you can help me.”
Sixteen
* * *
“Dr. Blake’s office,” Shannon answered the phone with a sigh.
“May I speak to Dr. Blake, please?”
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Larson, but as I told you before, Dr. Blake is out and is not expected back for the rest of the afternoon.”
Shannon could hear Jasmine’s sigh. “Well, is there a number where he can be reached? This is urgent!”
“I understand, but Dr. Blake is somewhere where he cannot be disturbed. I will make sure he gets all your messages.”
“What about his pager? Give me that number.”
Shannon tried to keep her voice even. “During office hours, this is the best place to leave messages for Dr. Blake. I promise . . .”
“Is he meeting with his wife?” Jasmine interrupted.
Shannon paused. “Mrs. Larson, I have given you all the information I can and . . .” Before she finished, Jasmine slammed the phone in her ear.
Shannon hung her phone up with a heavy sigh. It was only noon and she wondered how many more times Jasmine would call today. She’d had to handle unruly clients and boisterous patients before. But this was different. Despite Dr. Blake’s obvious desire to stay away from her, Jasmine Larson was determined to get what she wanted. Shannon couldn’t wait for Dr. Blake to call and tell her what he wanted her to do with this woman.
Kyla was flipping through the pages of the Christian Today magazine, though she wasn’t focused on any of the articles. Her hands shook slightly with the thought of what she was about to do.
“Okay, Kyla. Pastor will see you now.” Kyla forced a smile at Avery, the pastor’s assistant, and tossed the magazine onto the table before she stepped into the office.
“Hi, hon. Sorry you had to wait, I was on a long-distance call.” Pastor Ford came from around her desk to hug Kyla.
“It’s no problem.” Kyla’s voice was soft. “Pastor
Ford, I got your message. I assumed it was about The Compassion House.”
The pastor leaned forward on her desk and smiled. “I have some great news. I’ve been contacted by several organizations that want to fund the project for us. Kyla, this is getting bigger than we ever thought. I think it’s going to end up being a full-time job for you. Are you ready for this?”
“I don’t know . . .”
“This is so exciting.” Pastor Ford tapped her manicured fingertips atop her desk. “Isn’t it good how the Lord has built this little idea into something so big for this community? What’s the date of the opening again?”
“Pastor, there’s something I have to tell you.” With downcast eyes, Kyla continued, “I need to take a leave of absence and have someone else lead The Compassion House for a little while.” Kyla raised her eyes and looked directly at her pastor. “It’s not that I want to leave the project altogether—it’s just that right now, I need a little time to myself . . .”
“May I ask why?”
She glanced away. “It’s personal.”
“I think it’s spiritual. You’re in the middle of a spiritual battle, Kyla Blake, and you’ve laid down all of your weapons! I saw Jefferson. He told me everything.”
Kyla’s eyes blazed. “He told you? He didn’t have any right to do that.”
“He had every right. The two of you should have come to me when this first happened.”
Kyla stood and walked to the window. “Well, I’m sure he didn’t tell you the whole story. Just the part he wanted you to hear.”
“That’s probably true. Let me see . . . he told me that you found him in bed with another woman and he wanted to know if I had any time to speak with the two of you together about healing.”
Kyla blinked but remained silent.
“Oh, and he did add one other thing. He said that every part of him loved you and he was willing to do anything to heal your pain and rebuild your trust.” When Kyla remained quiet, the pastor continued, “So, did he tell me everything?”
Kyla nodded.
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