“I remember we had to say your prayers with you for a while after that.”
Kyla nodded. “But once I understood, it changed my life. I learned to listen and hear the Lord. And to know God’s voice. With the time I spent this morning, I know what I have to do.”
Winston nodded and pulled Kyla back into his arms. “You know your mother and I are behind you.”
“I thank God for you and Mom every day.”
“Then the Lord hears the same things. Because every day in our prayers, we thank God for blessing us with you.”
The two stood, watching the waves of the surf crash onto the shore. And, for the first time in days, Kyla felt the peace of the Lord.
Twenty-four
* * *
The chair’s legs squeaked against the hardwood floor as Jefferson pushed his chair away from the table. “Mom, I can’t tell you how good that was. Thank you so much for dinner.”
“This was nothing. If I’d known you were coming, I would have fixed you something really good. I’m sure neither one of you have eaten well these past few days.”
Jefferson and Kyla looked at each other and smiled. “No. I haven’t eaten much. But I hope that is going to change,” Jefferson said.
“Daddy, I wish you didn’t have to go. I really want you to stay for the party,” Nicole said as she chewed on the last of her fried chicken.
“Honey, I wish I could, but the party is for kids anyway. You won’t miss me,” he said as he tickled her neck.
Nicole giggled. “I will miss you! But Mommy’s going to be here, right? You’re staying aren’t you, Mommy?”
The moment froze. Kyla’s fork clanked as it dropped to her plate. Finally, she nodded slowly. “Yes, honey. I’m going to stay.”
Jefferson’s shoulders dropped and Winston and Lynn exchanged glances.
“Well, I think I’m going to have to get on the road . . .” he started, then his voice seemed to disappear.
Winston cleared his throat. “Uh . . . Jefferson, before you go, can we go for a walk? I’d like to talk to you.”
Kyla glanced between her parents. “Daddy . . .”
Lynn placed her hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “Kyla, it’ll be fine. While the men are out talking, you can help me clean up this mess.”
“Can I help too, Mama?” Nicole piped in, unaware of the tension that had filled the room.
“Of course, why don’t you start taking some of these dishes in?” As Nicole took the bread plate, Lynn carried the bowl of rice into the kitchen.
Kyla was alone at the table and she eyed her father and Jefferson as they moved to the front door. Her father put on his cap and bomber jacket and Jefferson held the door opened until they stepped outside. Kyla sighed.
“Let your father handle his business,” Lynn said as she returned to continue clearing the table. “They’ll be all right.”
“I didn’t know Daddy was going to say anything,” Kyla whispered as she watched Nicole rinsing the plates before she put them in the dishwasher.
“He’s your father, honey. And you’re his baby girl.”
“But I don’t want him interfering in this. I have to handle it.”
“He knows that, Kyla. But maybe he can give Jefferson some . . . insight.”
Kyla nodded as she handed her plate to Lynn. When her mother went back into the kitchen, Kyla went to the bay window. The light at their front door was the only illumination on the beach and Kyla couldn’t see very far. She couldn’t tell which way they’d gone. She sighed. She didn’t like not knowing what her father would say, but she had no choice now. She would just have to wait and see.
The waves seemed to crash louder in the dark and, as they walked along the shore, Jefferson pulled his jacket tighter around his neck.
“Are you cold, son?”
“No, I’m fine,” Jefferson said and then hesitated. “I want you to know that I am so sorry . . .”
Winston held up his hands. “I know you are.” Stopping, he turned to face his son-in-law. “Jefferson, I love you as if you were my natural son and, though I am very disappointed, I want you to know that nothing has changed with the way Lynn and I feel about you.”
Jefferson hung his head. “I appreciate that, sir.”
They continued walking along the concrete strip that separated the beach-front homes from the sand. “I realize that this is none of my business. But, I love Kyla more than my own life and I hate to see her hurting like this.”
Jefferson swallowed. “I . . . I feel the same way. I don’t know how . . .”
“There’s nothing you have to explain to me. I wanted to give you a chance to talk if you felt like you had to.”
“I just want to know what I can do to make this up to her. I just want to find a way . . .”
“It’s going to be a long process . . .”
“I know.”
“In fact, it will never end. Every day, for the rest of your life you’re going to have to find a way to assure her of your love.”
“I want to do that. I will do anything.”
“You say that now, but you are going to have to do it every day and it’s going to be tough. And sometimes you’re going to think that it’s not making a difference, but I can tell you that it is . . .”
Jefferson frowned and glanced sideways at his father-in-law, but he remained silent.
Winston continued as if he was in a trance. “Sometimes it’s going to seem like you’re going backwards. Everything will be okay, then, boom! Out of nowhere, she’ll begin to question you again. You’ll be tired of answering her questions, you’ll be tired of her insecurities. But that’s just women, Jefferson. A woman needs to feel safe and you’ve shattered her cocoon of safety. Now, you’re the only one who can build it back. She can’t do it. You have to do it for her no matter how long, how much counseling, how much time it takes. It’s up to you . . . that is, if you’re really committed to your marriage.”
“I am, Dad.”
Winston nodded his head. “Then, I think you two will be fine. Just remember to keep God as your center. Lean on the Lord to show you the way. That’s the only way you’re going to make it.”
“Yes, sir. I love Kyla. I don’t think you could even begin to understand . . .”
Winston paused, then said sadly, “I understand.”
They walked for several minutes in silence.
“Thank you, Dad.”
Winston stopped again and stared into Jefferson’s eyes. “I hope you understand everything I’m saying, son.”
With a faint smile, Jefferson nodded. “I do.”
Winston patted Jefferson’s shoulder. “Let’s go back. I know you have to get on the road.
While Nicole and her mother finished up in the kitchen, Kyla sat in the living room and finally breathed when she heard the key in the door. She searched their faces for some sign, but they only smiled.
“That was fast,” Lynn said as she came to the door and took her husband’s jacket. “Jefferson, do you want some coffee or something before you leave?”
“No, thank you. I really have to get going. I have to be up early in the morning . . .” He turned to Kyla, trying to plead with her in silence.
“Well, son, we’ll see you soon. Drive safely.” Winston hugged Jefferson.
“Yes,” Lynn said adding her hug. “Traveling mercies and next time you talk to your mother, please tell her hello for us.”
“Well, sweetie,” Jefferson started as he knelt down.
“Bye, Daddy.” Nicole hugged her father.
“Enjoy the party. I’ll see you in a few days, okay? I love you.”
“I love you too, Daddy.”
Lynn took Nicole’s hand. “Come on, honey. Let’s go watch some TV with your grandfather.”
They stood alone, silently for several moments before Kyla spoke, “I am glad you came up here today.”
“So am I, but . . .”
She took his hand. “Please. Just a little more time.”
/> He lowered his head. “I understand.”
Kyla could tell from his voice that he didn’t, but she knew he was willing to give her the space that she needed. “You’d better get going.”
He nodded and zipped his jacket. “I’ll call you when I get home.”
“I’ll be looking forward to it.”
He ran his hand against her face. “I don’t want to leave . . .”
“But you have to,” she said softly. “And it’s okay, because I’ll be home . . . soon.”
He hugged her and breathed deeply when she leaned into him. She stood outside watching until the Range Rover was no longer in sight. Closing the door, she leaned against it for several minutes, enjoying the warmth she felt. One thing that was promised in the Word of God was hope. Faith built your hope. And for the first time in days, Kyla felt the hope that had been promised by the Lord.
Jefferson yawned and shifted in his seat. It had been a long ride, but he was smiling. While he had hoped that Kyla would return with him, he knew now that they would be together. He felt even more confident that he’d be able to handle it. After the talk he’d had with his father-in-law, he understood that one could recover from such a devastating mistake. And now, Lord, what wait I for? My hope is in thee. He loved Psalms 39:7.
The Lord had filled him with hope. Kyla had said that in just a few days she’d be home. And she had hugged him. Hugged him like she loved him. Now, as he exited from the freeway, he held onto the memory of that. “Thank you, Lord.”
He turned his car onto LaBrea and pulled down the visor to block the headlight glare from the oncoming cars. As the music from his church choir flowed through the car, he began to relax. He was close to home, in so many ways. There would still be a fight in front of them, but finally he was being given a chance to appear in the battle.
Twenty-five
* * *
The sheer, light blue curtains swayed slightly in the breeze from the open window. Jasmine was lying casually on her bed and she glanced at the clock. It was still a bit too early to call. She’d wait another five minutes. She checked her phone book, though she knew she still had the Carringtons’ telephone number. Her parents had been good friends with them until her mother died and her father left for Florida.
She rolled over on her stomach and sighed. Maybe she shouldn’t make this call. She didn’t even know if Kyla was still there. Maybe she should just let the whole thing go. Nothing had turned out the way she planned and who knew what would happen after she talked to Kyla.
Well, she would drop the whole thing—right after she talked to Kyla. She couldn’t let them get away with the way they had treated her. Jefferson, Alexis, Michael—all of them had treated her like riffraff and it was time for them to pay. Jefferson would suffer the most. How would he explain it to Kyla after she told her that their affair had been going on for some time? It would be a long time before he ever used her or any other woman. And after Kyla, it would be Patricia Newman’s turn. Then, she would go on with her life.
She looked at the clock again. It was time.
Kyla’s fork clicked against her plate, still filled with scrambled eggs as she dropped it. She sighed.
Glancing over the newspaper, Lynn frowned at her daughter. “You know what’s wrong with you, don’t you?”
Meeting her mother’s glance, Kyla shook her head.
“You miss your husband.”
“I waited up for him last night, but he never called. I guess he just thought it was too late.”
Lynn dropped the newspaper onto her lap. “You’re not doubting him, are you?”
“No, not really,” Kyla said, knowing she sounded uncertain. She didn’t want to tell her mother that she had stayed up half the night wondering where Jefferson was. It was only when she prayed that she had finally fallen asleep.
“Why don’t you call him?”
“I did a little while ago. But, I guess he already left for the hospital and I don’t want to bother him while he’s on call.”
“He’s probably just trying to give you space.”
Kyla simply nodded.
“Do you know what I think?” Lynn asked. “I don’t know what in the world you’re doing here. You should be in L.A. with Jefferson.”
“It really doesn’t matter,” Kyla said, as she swirled the eggs on her plate. “He’s going to be working all weekend anyway.”
“But he still has to come home. And the sooner you two start putting your life back together, the better. You’ve already decided to give your marriage a try, so . . .”
“How do you know that?”
“Because I didn’t raise no fool . . .”
Kyla laughed.
“And because of the way you two were with each other last night. At dinner, it was like he was seeing you for the first time. That man loves you to death.”
“I do want to go back. But there are still some things that . . . I have to work out.”
“Like getting back in bed with him?”
Her eyes opened wide. “Mom!”
“What? You don’t think I know about these things?”
“Of course, but no one wants to think of their parents . . . in that way.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter what you think, I know the reason you didn’t go back with Jefferson last night was because you’re afraid of the intimacy, right?”
She hesitated, then pushed herself back from the table. “I wonder if he’s going to be comparing me to Jasmine. Or if I’ll be thinking of the two of them together.” She folded her arms across her chest. “Will Jefferson find me as desirable as he once did?”
“Why don’t you ask him?”
Kyla raised her eyebrows. “You want me to just come right out and ask him?”
“Yes.”
“I can’t do that. It’s too embarrassing. I can’t even believe I told you.”
“Embarrassing or not, it’s something you’re going to have to face.”
Kyla sighed deeply. “I don’t think I should move back in with Jefferson until we’ve started counseling and gotten past some of this. It will just make things easier when we get back to . . . that point again.”
“You think you should wait to renew the intimacy between the two of you?”
“You sound like you don’t agree.”
“I don’t. Being intimate is going to be one of the things that will help rebuild your marriage and help you and Jefferson get connected again. You can’t put aside such an important part of your relationship.”
The hardwood floor creaked under her feet as Kyla went to sit on the couch. “How can I get close to him while I’m still feeling so hurt?”
Lynn followed her into the living room. “Well, if you’re really committed to making your marriage work, you’re going to have to get past these feelings.” Lynn sat next to Kyla and took her hand. “You have a decision to make—do you want to feel safe or do you want to be with Jefferson?”
Kyla paused. That’s what she had been asking herself all night. “Shouldn’t I be able to have both?”
“You will, but not right away. There’s so much healing that you have to do. Just because you forgive Jefferson doesn’t mean you’ll forget. Years from now, you will still remember the exact details of what happened. But soon, it won’t bring you down as much. You’ll be able to relegate this time to a little corner in your mind. And one morning, you’ll wake up feeling very safe and very happy.”
Kyla nodded. “I want that so much.”
“But the healing starts somewhere. You need to get in that car, Kyla, and go get your man. Get him in every way.”
Kyla smiled. She did want to see Jefferson. She wanted to hold him and have him hold her. She wanted her life back. “But what about Nicole? She’ll be so disappointed when she gets back from breakfast and I’m not here.”
“Child, your daughter loves you, but this is a big birthday weekend for Misty and Kristy. By the time they get back, they’ll be getting ready for the party and I think Ni
cole will barely notice that you’re not here.”
That’s what she wanted her mother to say. She remained thoughtful for a moment. “I think I’ll do it,” she said, standing and moving quickly. “I’ll just go before I can change my mind.”
Lynn smiled. “Are you going to call Jefferson and let him know you’re coming?”
“No, I think I’ll just surprise him . . .” She paused.
Lynn held up her hands. “Don’t even go there.”
As Kyla turned towards the bedroom, the telephone rang. “Do you want me to get that, Mom?”
“No, you go get ready. It’s probably your father calling to tell me that he’s going to have brunch with some of the fellows after choir rehearsal or something like that.” Lynn was still chuckling as she picked up the phone. “Hello.”
“Mrs. Carrington?”
Her shoulders stiffened at the voice.
“Mrs. Carrington, this is Jasmine.”
A million thoughts stormed her, but she remained silent.
“Mrs. Carrington, can you hear me?”
“What can I do for you, Jasmine?”
The frozen tone penetrated through the telephone wires and Jasmine swallowed. Lynn had been like a second mother to her and, even with all that had happened, she realized now that she had hoped for a warmer response. “Mrs. Carrington . . . I . . . I know you know what’s happened and I just wanted to say that I am so sorry.”
“I’m not the one you should be telling this to.”
Jasmine exhaled. At least she would get to speak to Kyla and go through with her plan. “That’s why I called. I understand that Kyla is staying with you and I wanted to speak with her.”
“You think Kyla is here?”
She paused and then frowned. “Yes . . . Jefferson told me . . .”
“Jefferson? So, you’re still trying to ruin my daughter’s marriage?”
“Uh . . . no. I . . . just called Jefferson to . . . speak to Kyla.”
“Uh-huh . . .”
“Mrs. Carrington, may I speak to her?”
“No.”
It was a moment before it registered. “No?”
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