by Lisa Edward
We made love for hours, savouring each other’s bodies as if it were the last time we would ever see each other. I hoped down to the bottom of my heart that it wouldn’t be.
Riley told me a hundred times that he loved me, and I told him a hundred times that I would wait for him because I loved him too. We even allowed ourselves the luxury of fantasising about our wedding. We agreed that on the beach in Fiji would be the perfect location.
When there were only a few hours left, I asked Riley if he would like to say goodbye to anyone else. I knew Marcus and Jason in particular would be upset if they didn’t get to see him. We were just about to leave to head down to Songbirds, when I realised that Cooper would be leaving, too.
“I need to call Kelli and Cooper,” I said to him, suddenly panicking.
I knew Kelli had only just relocated to Sydney, and she would be devastated to have to say goodbye to Cooper. We called them, and put the phone on speaker. I spoke to Cooper, and wished him a safe trip. I would miss his jokes and teasing, and I had to remind myself it would only be six months, not forever.
Then Kelli said goodbye to Riley, and asked if I had anything to tell her. I looked at Riley, and he shrugged at me. They knew Riley was going to propose, and were waiting for the good news.
I clicked a quick photo of my hand with the ring on it and sent it to Kelli, then told her I would call when I got back from the airport later on.
The Sons were playing, which was great. I didn’t think Riley would be that interested in saying farewell to Cole, but he had always gotten on well with Jay.
We entered via the staff backdoor and headed over to Jason, who was sitting at the end of the bar. He immediately noticed the uniform, and raised his eyebrows at me questioningly.
I tried to smile, but damn, I was just one big ball of tears at the moment.
Riley called Marcus over, and quickly explained that he was going away, and then, turning to me, asked them to keep an eye on me for him.
I looked at their faces. Riley didn’t know anything about what had happened previously, but I quickly told them that they didn’t need to babysit me again.
“Rubbish! We weren’t babysitting you last time, Tars,” Jason said, annoyed. “We’re your friends and we love you. We’ll help you through this.”
I gave him a hug. I would definitely need friends; the next six months were going to be tough.
Marcus looked at me and smiled. “Work as many shifts as you need to. Spend as much time here as you want. I love having you around; you know that.” Then, he quickly clarified to Riley, “As a friend of course, nothing more.”
We were having a drink when the band stopped for a break, and Jay and Cole came over.
Jay noticed the uniform straight away, his brow furrowed. “What’s going on?” he asked, realising that Riley must be on duty to be dressed that way.
Riley explained to Jay, who just nodded, and then turned to me and gave me a hug. He had been through this with his dad many times over the years, and more importantly, had supported his mum.
As Jay was hugging me, I looked over his shoulder to Cole. He was hanging back from the group, watching me intensely.
I gave him a half-smile as I walked over to him.
“Hi,” I said, trying to gauge his reaction. We hadn’t spoken since our argument at Marcus’s house on Kelli’s birthday.
“Hi yourself.” He stepped closer and engulfed me in his arms, burying his face in my hair. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered in my ear.
Closing my eyes, I melted into the hug. I had missed him too.
“Would you like to say goodbye to Riley?” I asked him. “He’s being sent overseas for six months.”
I took hold of his hand to lead him over to the rest of the group, but it was my left hand, and he balked when he saw the ring. I looked down at my hand, then back up at his face.
His jaw tightened. “What happened to taking it slow? Fuck, Tara, you’re engaged now? You’ve only been back together for two weeks!”
His voice was getting louder as he spoke, and I quickly checked over my shoulder to see if anyone had heard his outburst. Luckily they were too engrossed in their own conversations.
“He’s going overseas,” I repeated. “What did you want me to do? Turn the guy down and then send him into a warzone?” I looked down at my hand, and at the beautiful ring. “I love him, and he loves me. I’m not getting married yet; we can have a long engagement.”
“Tell me this,” he said, staring into my eyes. “If he wasn’t going away, would you have accepted his proposal?”
I bit my lip, and exhaled. “To be honest, I don’t think he would have asked yet. But I probably would have told him it was too soon.”
He threw his head back as if to say I knew it. “So why not tell him to ask when he gets back? Why put yourself in this position?”
“In what position?” I asked, frowning.
“In the position where you have committed to someone who is leaving you. He’s not going to be here for you, and you …” He paused, debating how to finish his sentence. “You won’t be able to find happiness anywhere else if you’re waiting around for him to come back.” He ran his hand through his messy hair. “He’s only asked you because he’s afraid of losing you while he’s gone; you know that.”
“It’s only six months.”
“A lot can happen in six months, Tara. People can change, circumstances can change, and you’ve committed to standing still.”
“Please,” I asked, pleadingly. “You can be angry with me tomorrow. He’s leaving tonight; please come and say goodbye. For me?”
His jaw clenched, but after a moment he took hold of my hand and led me over to the group. Riley looked over at him, and for the first time since they had met, smiled, and greeted him as a friend.
“I’d like to say something,” Riley announced, then turned to Marcus. “Can we get some more drinks, mate?”
Marcus made sure we all had a full glass, and then came back over.
Riley’s great idea of making a speech had only one problem: I could feel the tears starting again, and when I looked at Riley, he was becoming emotional too. I looked at Jason; he was wiping his eyes discreetly. Marcus and Jay looked concerned, and Cole was still watching me.
“Ah fuck,” Riley started, and then laughed softly. “That’s not the right way to start a speech, is it?”
We all laughed.
“Okay, I’ll try again.” He reached out and held my hand. “For those of you who haven’t noticed yet, Tara acquired a new piece of jewellery tonight.”
I held up my hand to show everyone, and Jason jumped up and hugged me before quickly sitting back down to continue listening.
“We went through a rocky patch recently, but I want you all to know that I love Tara more than anything in this world, and I have promised her I will come back to her. I know it was because of you, Tara’s friends that she got through it when we broke up, and she will need you again now. I know the next six months is going to be hard on both of us, but I also know I don’t have to worry about Tara, because she has you here to look out for her. And I know having her here waiting for me is what will bring me home. So I would like to thank you for helping her, and keeping her safe while I’m away, and I hope to see you all again soon.”
He looked over at me, and I wiped my eyes for the millionth time.
“We’re not just Tara’s friends,” Marcus said, and gave him a hug. “Stay safe, mate.”
I was trying so hard not to break down as everyone hugged Riley, and said goodbye. I bit the inside of my cheek with such force I could taste blood. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and met Cole’s emerald-green eyes, looking down at me with so much compassion. He pulled me into a tight hug, and I lost my resolve.
“We’ll look after her.” I heard Cole say over the top of my head to Riley.
I tensed, not sure what Riley would say, but he surprised me once again.
“Yeah, not you so muc
h, Cole. I’d feel better if she hung out with Jase here.”
We all laughed. I couldn’t believe Riley was joking around with Cole.
“I’m just joking, mate,” Riley said to him. “I know she loves writing music with you, and I’m cool with that.”
I smiled at Riley. It seemed our newly-engaged status had made him feel more secure in our relationship, and just maybe he had stopped feeling threatened by Cole.
I pulled Cole to one side. I had had an idea, and I needed his help.
We watched as the band went back up on stage. Cole said something to the other guys, and then turned to the microphone.
“We have a special request tonight for a very good friend of ours.” He indicated to Riley, who was still standing at the bar. “He’s heading overseas in a few hours to serve our country, and we’d like to play a song for him before he goes.”
The crowd cheered, and Cole stepped back, waiting for them to settle down.
“Of course I can’t sing a song to a dude.” He pulled a face, and the crowd laughed. “So his girlfriend—sorry, his fiancée—is going to sing it instead.”
I was standing beside Riley and I looked up at him and grinned. He was looking at me with absolute devotion in his eyes. I had to look away, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to sing one note. I gave him a kiss on the cheek, and then weaved my way through the crowd and up onto the stage.
“Hi guys,” I said to the crowd, and everyone cheered. It made me laugh; I think they would cheer at just about anything.
I turned to Cole. “Thank you.” The words were simple, but I hoped he could see from my face that I was thanking him for so much more than this simple song.
He slung the acoustic guitar over his head, and nodded. I knew he understood, and would accept my decision.
“This is ‘When You’re Gone’ by Avril Lavigne, and it’s for my Riley.” I looked over at him and blew him a kiss, and again the crowd cheered.
I sang every word directly to Riley, and he never took his eyes off me. Tears blurred my vision as certain lyrics came up, like the one about missing someone when they’re gone, and how different things reminded you of them. But I kept singing, and looking at Riley.
When I finished the crowd went crazy, but I don’t think it was for my singing, particularly. I think they just appreciated the fact that someone was saying goodbye to someone they loved. Someone who they may never see again, and they wanted to support me. I can’t tell you how grateful I was for that.
In the end we all went to the airport, and I suspect it was partly because my friends knew there was no way I would able to drive myself home after saying goodbye.
“You’d better come home to me in one piece,” I told Riley as I hugged him for the last time. “You know I don’t want to be without you.”
“I will move heaven and earth to come back to you; you know that. I love you, and I’ll write as often as I can, okay?” He looked down at my face, and took a deep breath. “Can you do me one last favour?”
I nodded, and wiped the tears from my eyes. “Anything,” I squeaked, trying to hold it together.
“Smile for me. When I turn around to wave goodbye for the final time, I want your beautiful smile to be the last thing I see.”
I nodded again, and with every ounce of control I could muster, I stopped crying. I took a few deep, calming breaths, and when Riley had said his final farewells to all our friends he looked at me, and I smiled.
I gave him the biggest and best smile I have ever given in my life.
“Thank you,” he mouthed.
He walked backwards the length of the gangway, and I held that smile until my jaw hurt.
When he couldn’t go any further without turning the corner out of sight, he put his hand over his heart and told me he loved me one last time. And I, in return, put my hand over my heart, and pointed to my engagement ring. He beamed at me, nodded his head, and disappeared.
He was gone, and my legs crumbled. I think it was Cole who picked me up and carried me back to the car; I didn’t really take much notice. I was too devastated, and just trying to breathe was taking all my energy. I can’t remember who drove the car home, or how I got up stairs to my apartment, but I know it was Cole who put me to bed, and stayed with me all night, cradling me in his arms while I wept relentlessly for the man that I love.
Kelli called me late in the afternoon to check I was okay. She sounded like she’d been crying as much as I had, and we laughed at what big babies we had become.
“Just my luck,” she said. “I finally move to Sydney to be with Coop, and he flies off on a mission. I’ve been thinking maybe I could come back to Melbourne for a while; there’s nothing for me here now that Coop has gone. Do you think my old job would still be vacant at the office?”
I squealed. “Yes, I know it is. I’ll tell Mike you want to come back. I know he’ll hold it for you.”
My manager was the director of the department, and I knew they hadn’t recruited anyone yet. I also knew he had a soft spot for Kelli and all her hard work.
“Oh, one other thing I guess I should tell you,” she said, nervously. “I just found out today; I’m pregnant.”
I flopped back onto the bed, and laughed. It was going to be an interesting six months, that was for sure.
But life would go on—it just had to, and I would be waiting here for Riley when he returned.
The End … for now
Follow Tara’s journey in
(Book 2: Songbird trilogy)
Released in April 2014
Tara has made a promise.
A promise to wait six months for Riley to come home so they can be together.
She never thought it would be so difficult to keep that promise.
……but then, some promises were made to be broken.
Read Songbird Caged now
Publishing a book is never a solo effort, so there are a few people I would like to take a moment to thank.
Firstly, to my parents who always told me to do my best, and they would be proud of me whatever the outcome.
A massive thank you to Monica for encouraging me to put pen to paper, and all the brainstorming sessions……and all the laughs. Your support and advice have been priceless.
To Chris and Layla for putting up with my extended periods of writing, when I should have been spending time with you.
To Mel, thank you for your ideas, constant support and believing in my book.
To Sali for your constructive comments and excitement in seeing what comes next.
To Lauren for waving your magic editing wand and to Lindee and Emily, for turning my manuscript into a polished novel.
A massive thank you to Kelli, for letting me sleep on your couch and inspiring some of my characters.
And finally, thank you to anyone who was willing to give an unknown author a chance.
Lisa Edward is the author of Songbird; book 1 in the Songbird trilogy, and the novella Duty of Care which is published in the Forbidden Fruits Anthology Volume II.
While Lisa Edward has called Melbourne Australia home for her entire life, she has lived and worked in England, and travelled through most parts of Europe and the United States. She loves nothing more than spending time with her husband and beautiful daughter, or curling up into the early hours of the morning with a great novel. By day, Lisa works in the analytical IT field, so relishes the opportunity to foster her creative side through writing. Her deep appreciation for literature was nurtured from a young age, being taught to respect books and get lost in their stories. She enjoys reading honest and realistic novels that are relatable, thought provoking and leave a lasting impression. She can’t write without music playing, using the emotions from different songs to invoke those of her characters. Lisa takes inspiration from her own life experiences, the people around her and those she has met in her travels.
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