by Emily Bishop
I remember seeing Randall in the bathroom earlier. What was he doing here? I don’t believe that lipstick reason for a second and yet, I also can’t bring myself to believe that he’s snooping around. He’s been asking questions about my past lately, yes, but he wouldn’t go so far as to snoop around.
Would he?
It doesn’t matter. He’ll never know my secret. Tonight, I’ll leave. Tomorrow, I’ll be a memory.
It’s a pity. Who knows what might have been if I stayed here? Who knows long I would have been able to resist him? We could have been happy.
Could have been. I guess I’ll just have to spend the rest of my life wondering.
Taking the goodbye note I’ve written on the bedside table, I fold it and place it under the vase of roses, the roses that Randall gave me just this morning. Come to think of it, he’s the first man who’s ever given me flowers.
And he may be the last.
I pause to sniff one rose then on impulse, decide to take it with me. At least, I’ll have something to remember Randall and this mansion by, something to let me know that this all wasn’t a dream.
Putting the rose inside my suitcase, I turn off the lights, give one last look at the room and leave it. I walk slowly, careful not to wake anyone up.
After a few minutes, I hear scurrying and I look behind me.
Zombie.
I guess I couldn’t have fooled him.
I put a finger to my lips then petted his head.
“You take care of David now, okay? Go back to him and never leave his side.”
For the first time, he obeys me, returning to David’s bedroom without making a sound.
“Good boy.”
I have to say I’ll miss him, too.
I keep going, carrying my suitcase down the stairs. As I do, I can’t help but think that I’m sneaking out again. It seems like I’ve been doing that a lot lately.
Once again, I’m trying to escape from a mansion, only this time, I’m escaping from good people, trying to keep them out of danger instead of escaping from people who want to do me harm. It feels better. Thinking about it that way makes my heart feel a little lighter, my feet move a little faster.
Hopefully I won’t get caught.
“Where do you think you’re going, Sabrina?” The question stops me in my tracks, the deep, familiar voice piercing the deathly silence of the mansion and bouncing off the walls.
Shit. It seems I’m not so lucky this time.
Slowly, I put my suitcase down and turn to face Randall, who is sitting in one of the chairs in the living room, one leg crossed over the other.
He looks like he’s been waiting for me.
How did he know I was leaving? Did he leave a camera in my room earlier? Was he snooping around after all?
“I thought you were in bed,” I tell him, trying to keep myself composed.
Relax, Sabrina. He’s not Vince. He’s not going to hurt you.
Right. I may have been found out but I can still leave. I just have to talk my way out of this.
“I couldn’t sleep,” Randall says. “I was worried about you.”
“There’s no need to worry about me.”
“You say that yet here you are, obviously running away.” He stands up and approaches me. “I have to say I’m dying to know why.”
“I’m just going to meet Carol, that’s all,” I tell him, fumbling.
“With your suitcase in tow?” He glances at it.
“I borrowed this suitcase from her so I’m returning it. She’ll give me a new one.”
“It’s packed with all your things, though, isn’t it?”
He reaches for its handle, but I step back.
“Carol thinks I’m not the best nanny for you, after all,” I tell him. “So, I’m leaving.”
“You’re leaving?”
“Carol will explain everything in the morning.”
“No.” Randall steps forward. “I think I deserve an explanation from you.”
I step back. I have to say he can be intimidating when he wants to be. If he tries to stop me physically, I have no chance.
“Sabrina?”
“It’s a mistake. I’m not supposed to be here. I was not the one she was supposed to send.”
“Carol doesn’t strike me as the kind of woman to make such a big mistake.”
“I deceived her. I’m not who she thinks I am. It’s all my fault, not hers.”
“Then who are you?”
“A nobody.” I grip the handle of my suitcase. “You can just forget all about me.”
“Do you really think I can just forget all about you? That David can just forget about you?”
His words make me feel a pang of guilt but I fight it, reminding myself that I’m doing this for them. It’s for their own good.
I turn around. “I have to go.”
Randall grabs my hand. “I’m not letting you leave until you tell me what’s going on, everything that’s going on.”
I look at him, his expression serious, unflinching, his grip firm.
I have no choice but to tell him the truth. Hopefully he’ll understand why I’m leaving, agree it’s for the best, and let me leave– even if it’s with a heavy heart.
I take a deep breath. “You asked me why I decided to be a nanny. I didn’t. It wasn’t my decision. It wasn’t my choice. I had no choice.”
He lets go of my hand, his arms falling to his sides. “I’m listening.”
“Two years ago, I dropped out of college. I was studying biology because I was going to be a veterinarian. That was what my aunt and uncle, the people who took me in, wanted me to be so I could help them. They had a farm so I could take care of the livestock.”
“I understand.”
“I didn’t like it, though. I could follow the lessons. I was smart enough. But I just couldn’t bring myself to like it. I tried to. For a year, I poured my heart into it but I just couldn’t be happy. I couldn’t do it. My heart wanted to be somewhere else.” I walk over to the piano, running my hands over the fallboard. “I always wanted to be a musician, a composer, a singer. Growing up, I’d sit in the barn, up a tree or by my bedroom window and sing, play my guitar or come up with songs.”
He stands next to me. “I guess you really do love music.”
“I do. I did. I worked a few odd jobs for a while just to earn money to go to Tennessee. I wanted to be a country musician, so Tennessee it was. I intended to go to Nashville but I heard there are too many good musicians there. I decided to try other cities first. Eventually, I ended up in Memphis. I started playing in bars there. I became a wedding singer, too.”
“I bet you were really good.”
I move away from the piano. “Then I met Vincent Lestair. Vince. He’s the owner of a famous recording company. A billionaire. He used to be a singer himself, too. He promised me he would make me famous. He said he was in love with me, too, and that he was going to marry me. He said he was going to make all my dreams come true. Guess what? I believed him. I believed every word he said. Well, we did sign a recording contract and he gave me a diamond ring but he never did do anything after that. All my dreams turned into just one, big nightmare.”
Randall’s hands clench into fists. “What did he do to you?”
I take a deep breath, trying not to cringe as I remember. “He just kept me at the mansion. He didn’t hurt me at first but when I realized he was just playing around with me, I tried to leave. That’s when he locked me up. He locked me up and each time I tried to escape or fight him, he’d beat me up or hit me with a whip.”
“Then the scars on your back…”
“You saw?” I nod. “Those were from the whip and my arm…” I rub my left arm. “He did that, too. I was already on the floor, trying to protect myself with my arms and he kept kicking me.”
“Fucking bastard.”
“I managed to escape one night when a drunk, horny couple stumbled into my cell in search of a place to fuck. There was a party going on,
a masquerade party. It gave me the perfect chance. I just ran and ran. I didn’t have money but apparently, the gown I had on was worth a lot. I took the bus. I just traveled around. I didn’t have anywhere to go.”
“Couldn’t you go back to your family?” Randall asks.
“My aunt and uncle? No. They didn’t want me anymore, not after how I let them down. They took me in and they were so good to me, treated me like their own child even after they had children but I let them down so…” I shrug. “I don’t really have a family or a home anymore.”
Randall says nothing.
“When I ran out of money, I found myself here in Texas. I ate leftovers from restaurants. I slept in church gardens, in cemeteries, on park benches. Then Carol found me.” I smile at the memory. “She was like an angel. But then she always had a good heart. She was my classmate in middle school, you know, just for a few years. We were friends. She remembered me and she decided to help me. She’s rich now. She owns a childcare agency so she said she’d give me a job as a nanny. I thought it was perfect. I could earn some money and I could hide from Vince because I knew he was still looking for me. That’s how I came to meet you and David.”
“At the mall, before you bumped into me, you seemed like you were running away from someone. Was that Vince?”
My eyebrows furrow. He noticed?
“I don’t know. I thought it was one of Vince’s men, but I guess I was just being paranoid. Anyway, he is still looking for me. He wants me back. And now, he’s found me. His men are here in Texas. Carol said so. And they’re asking around. They probably already know I work for Stargazers. It’s only a matter of time before Vince comes here. He may already be on his way.”
“So, you’re escaping from him?”
“Yes,” I answer. “I’d rather die than let him take me back.”
Randall falls silent. He looks shocked, shaken. He asked for it, though.
“There. I’ve told you everything,” I tell him, going back to my suitcase. “I have to go.”
“No.” He grabs my wrist again.
He’s still not letting me go?
“Don’t you understand? If he finds me here, he’ll take me and–”
“I won’t let him take you,” Randall says.
What?
“Let him come. He won’t hurt you.”
“Then he’ll hurt you. Or David. I can’t risk that.”
“I won’t let him hurt any of us,” Randall says, still gripping my wrist. “I’ll protect you and David. And I can take care of myself.”
“No.” I shake my head. “Vince is a monster. I’m not going to get you involved.”
“I’m already involved. I already care about you. David does, too. I can’t just let you walk away after hearing your story. What if he’s already out there waiting for you?”
“Better out there than here.” I wrench my hand away, rubbing it. “I would never forgive myself if anything bad happened to you and–”
“I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you.” He takes my hand again. “What right does this Vince have to take you back? We’ll report him to the cops.”
“No. He’s too powerful. And I have no proof, only words.”
“I don’t understand why you can’t stay here. Surely, he won’t be so bold as to come here.”
“He will,” I assure him. “He thinks I belong to him. Maybe it’s because of the recording contract I signed. Or maybe it’s because he thinks we’re still engaged.”
“Then I’ll marry you.”
I look at him with wide eyes. “What?”
Did he say what I think he said?
“I’ll marry you,” he repeats.
That’s what I thought he said.
“Why would you do that?”
“If he knows you’re mine, then he won’t take you back anymore. He’ll know that you don’t belong to him anymore.”
I shake my head. “This is crazy.”
“I know how men think. Men like him think they own women, that they can have any woman they want. He wanted you, and you were easy for him to get. He knew just which buttons to press.”
I don’t like the sound of that.
“But not anymore. He can’t have you anymore. If you marry me, you will be my wife, my woman. Then he’ll have to give up.”
“I’m not sure he’ll ever give up.”
“Men usually give up on women when they get married.”
“Vince isn’t usual.”
“He’ll back off,” Randall says confidently. “You won’t just be married. You’ll be married to me. I have wealth and connections. He won’t be able to just take you away. If he tries, if he tries to hurt even one hair of your head, I’ll see to it that he rots in jail.”
At that, my eyes grow wide, a realization dawning on me for the first time. Alone, I don’t stand a chance against Vince. He can do what he wants with me and not suffer any of the consequences. But if I’m with someone like Randall, even if he hurts me, he’ll have to pay for it. He’ll pay for his crimes.
He’ll never be able to hurt anyone again.
“Sabrina?” Randall touches my shoulder.
I don’t answer. Yes, it may be a good idea. Randall may be able to keep me safe. Still, marry him?
“You don’t have to do this,” I say to him. “You don’t owe me anything.”
“I want to protect you.” He touches my cheek. “Let me protect you, Sabrina.”
I look away, falling silent.
“Or would you rather have Vince than me?” Randall asks.
“Of course not.”
“Then stay and marry me.” Randall takes both my hands. “Do it for yourself. Do it for me, because damn, I want you more than anything…”
He does?
“And do it for David because he deserves to have someone who finally understands and cares for him.”
I sigh. “I don’t know.”
I’m still confused, afraid. A part of me wants to say yes. But I’ve suffered for jumping the gun before, and I don’t want to make the same mistake.
Do you really have a choice?
No. It’s stay and marry Randall or go and risk falling back into Vince’s clutches.
Why am I hesitating? Randall is a good man. I’ve already established that. And he just said he wants me. And I… I think I want him, too. But he doesn’t deserve me. What if I just end up hurting him?
“Sabrina.” He touches my cheek again. “You have nothing to be afraid of. Whatever happens, we’ll face it together. We’ll face Vince together. I’ll keep you safe, I promise. I won’t let him hurt you or anything that’s dear to you.”
I believe him. I do. It’s just marriage is such a big thing. Why does he even want to marry me? What is he getting out of this?
“Sabrina.”
I look into his eyes, not seeing any trace of fear and reluctance in them. “I don’t understand why you want to marry me. What do you have to gain?”
“A friend. A woman I can go to parties with and not have all the other women come after me. A nanny for David.”
Right. He doesn’t love me. But then I don’t love him, either. I don’t think I do. This isn’t a marriage for love, just for convenience and protection. For now, it’s my best bet for survival.
Then say yes.
I take a deep breath. “All right. I will.”
“You will?” Randall looks surprised and relieved at the same time.
I nod even though I still can’t believe I just said yes. “But on one condition.”
“What?”
“You have to be the one to tell David.”
Husband and Wife – Sort Of
Randall
“I have something to tell you, David.” I take a deep breath as I sit on his bed.
“What?” David hugs his pillow.
I pause. I should be glad this is the only condition that Sabrina set. Even so, this is probably one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done.
Unt
il now, I still can’t believe I proposed to marry her. Didn’t I say I wasn’t going to rush? Didn’t I say marriage was far from my mind? Still, I couldn’t just let her leave, especially not after hearing her story. As I started thinking about what I could offer her as her protection, all I could think of was myself, my name. That’s why I said I would marry her.
What is even more baffling is that she said yes. When I asked her to marry me, I was hoping she would, yet I still could not believe it when she agreed.
Of course, it doesn’t mean anything. She’s just trying to survive, and I don’t want her to slip through my fingers. That’s all. Still, a marriage is a marriage.
“What is it?” David asks, impatient now.
“It’s about Sabrina.”
“I thought we already talked about her.”
“Yes, but I’m going to tell you something more about her. Sabrina and I are–”
“Is she your girlfriend now?” David asks to my surprise.
He’s eight. When did he learn about girlfriends?
“I thought she didn’t like you.”
I crease my eyebrows at him. “What made you think that?”
“She didn’t ask questions about you like the other nannies.”
I nod. I didn’t even know the previous nannies asked him about me.
“And she didn’t talk about you. The nannies before couldn’t stop talking about you.”
I didn’t know that, either. I only noticed when they tried to flirt with me, though I didn’t pay much attention.
“So, is Sabrina your girlfriend? Do you like her?” David asks.
“Do you like her?” I ask him.
“She still has to beat me at–”
“A video game,” I finish the sentence for him. “I know. But let’s just say she didn’t. Would you still like her?”
David shrugs. “Why are you asking?”
“Because I…” Another deep breath. “I’m going to marry Sabrina.”
His eyes grow wide. “No way.”
“Yes, I am.”
“You’re not joking?”
I shake my head. “No, I’m not.”
He hugs his pillow tighter, burying half his face in it.
