I groaned and leaned back against him as his teeth scraped against my skin causing me to tremble. I heard him suck breath through his teeth as he turned me around so quickly that I released the dress, allowing it to fall in a pool around me.
He pulled me to him as his mouth met mine in a bruising kiss. His tongue traced my lips. A moan escaped me as his tongue plunged into my mouth. He closed his eyes and groaned as if in pain and then, pulled away from me still breathing hard.
I looked down, finding that I was standing in only my underwear. I trembled with need and I had to fight the urge to go to him and beg that he finish what he started. He glanced up at me and then, closed his eyes again.
“I’m sorry,” he said, breathless, “I didn’t mean to.”
“It’s not your fault,” I said, straightening as I forced breath through my lungs.
“I’ll sleep in the other bed,” he whispered and I shook my head at the offer again.
“No,” I said, raising my chin, “You won’t. You will sleep in here with me. I won’t let my father win and I’m not going to let Eli win either.”
“Lilly, I don’t know if I can stop myself,” he said, frowning.
“Neither do I,” I said, meeting his eyes, “But I wouldn’t hate you if you did and I hope you wouldn’t hate me.”
He nodded, “But I will still try,” he said, giving me a sad smile, “I don’t want to take your purity just based on a forced bond.”
My heart melted a little, “I know.”
I sighed and looked at the dresser, “I think I will shower first if that‘s okay,” I said, shifting again, “I still have blood on me.”
“You don’t have to ask permission to take a shower, Lilly,” he said and then, went to the dresser drawer and pulled out a long white gown with an emperor waist line. It had thin white straps which left my arms bare.
“Your things are in these three drawers,” he said, as he handed me the gown and pointed at the drawers with his other hand.
“Thank you,” I said as he turned to leave.
He stopped at the doorway, “I hope you know that I wasn‘t trying to force the blood bond on you.”
I nodded as I felt my chest constrict, “I know that.”
He nodded as his eyes swept over me again. Then, he was gone, leaving me lonelier than I had ever been.
Chapter Thirteen
The Dance
I shouldn‘t have dreamed. I shouldn’t have hoped. I knew better. It only led to heartache and pain. Since our wedding night that is exactly what I felt…heartache and pain.
Marco and I had not given into the blood bond. However, the only reason was because he was avoiding me. We shared the same bed every night but he only arrived home long after I had gone to sleep. A few times, I was sure that he had caressed my cheek but when I woke, he was either sound asleep beside me or not home at all.
It had been two weeks since I had really spoken to him. It had been three weeks since the wedding. I really didn’t expect for any of it to change as I dressed for a bonfire celebration. Aurora would be revealing the sex of the baby and I was expected to be there even though I didn‘t feel like celebrating.
I was standing in front of the mirrored closet doors, looking at my reflection. I wore a black beanie with a matching straight belted coat over my white sweater dress which was long enough to touch my knee high black boots. My hair flowed down around my face and down my shoulders in soft waves. I frowned at the reflection, scrutinizing every flaw.
“You look beautiful,” Marco said behind me, causing me to jump.
I turned to find him, leaning with his shoulder against the door frame. He was studying me intently.
“You’re home,” I said, shifting beneath his gaze.
“I thought I would take you to the bonfire,” he said, meeting my eyes. Uncertainty rested in his face, “Unless you don’t want me to.”
“I do want you to,” I whispered, confused. He had spent so much time avoiding me that I had convinced myself he could not stand to be in my presence. Though my heart had been broken, I was beginning to accept that he would avoid me for the rest of our marriage.
I gazed at him for a moment before turning back to the mirror. Again, I studied my face, seeing every flaw before turning back to face him.
“Lilly,” he whispered brokenly but he didn’t say anything else. Instead, he reached his hand out to me. I swallowed as I looked at his hand for a long moment before placing my hand in his. I jumped as an electrical awareness slammed through me. For a moment, I wondered if he felt it too and then, I rolled my eyes. Of course he did, the bond had caused it.
We were silent as we made our way to the bonfire, which was blazing high into the night sky. The heat coming from it caused the whole field to be warm. Aurora saw me and came to me, giving me a tight hug. Her face was alight with joy.
“Lilly, I’m so glad you are here,” she said, smiling and then, looked at Marco and frowned, “Hello, Marco.”
He smiled, but it did not reach his eyes. He released my hand to hug her and then, looked around, “Where is Andre?”
She frowned again, “He’s by the bonfire talking to Gavriel.”
He nodded before looking at me, “I think I’ll go talk to him.”
I nodded and he walked away without looking back. I swallowed over the lump in my throat.
“I’m guessing married life hasn’t been that great for you lately,” Aurora said when he was far enough away that he couldn’t hear.
I shrugged trying to seem as if didn‘t matter, “The bond has been stressful,” I whispered, “I think he regrets it.”
Aurora shook her head and her eyes filled with sympathy, “I don’t think that’s true.”
I shrugged again and she sighed before giving me a sweet smile, “Maybe I can cheer you up.”
I looked at her raising my brow not believing it was possible to cheer me up. Still, I asked, “How’s that?”
“I’ll tell you the secret first,” she said, rubbing her stomach as she leaned forward and whispered, “We’re having a girl.”
My eyes filled with tears though I didn‘t know if they were from happiness or want. I would never have my own children. Still, I would not steal Aurora’s happiness. “Congratulations,” I said, rubbing her belly briefly before offering her a sad smile.
“That’s not the only thing I want to tell you,” she said, grinning.
“What else?” I asked, looking up into her bright eyes.
“Well, her first name will be Ruby which Sophia picked out and we liked it,” she said, smiling, “But her middle name is your middle name.”
My eyes widened as true happiness filled me. A tear fell down my cheek, “Ruby Nadine,” I whispered and Aurora nodded as I cried, “It’s beautiful.”
She hugged me again, “Now, don’t cry,” she said, laughing, “We are supposed to be celebrating, “
“You’re right,” I said, raising my chin and walking with her toward the bonfire, “I do need to celebrate.
As if on cue, we met Mirella who was carrying two cups. She handed one to me and gave me a large smile, “its strawberry wine,” she said when I looked down at it confused.
“I’ve never drank wine,” I said, frowning.
Aurora laughed, “Andre is right,” she said, nudging Mirella in the ribs, “You are a bad influence.”
Mirella stuck out her tongue, “Drink it,” she said, looking at me and then, looked at Aurora, “And I am not a bad influence.”
I took a deep breath and took my first drink, enjoying the sweet, bubbly taste as it flowed down my throat. Mirella grabbed my hand, grinning, “Come dance with me.”
I nodded as she pulled me away from Aurora, who was laughing, “Be careful,” she called, “The wine can get you into wicked trouble. Mirella will get you into even more.”
I grinned back at her. After Marco’s avoidance of me, I could use some wicked trouble.
**********
I was laughing as I danced wit
h Mirella and Aurora. My head had begun to swim as I took another drink of the wine. I laughed as I sat down on one of the benches.
“I haven’t seen that smile since your wedding,” Mirella said, causing it to fade.
“Mirella,” Aurora scolded.
Mirella flushed, “I’m sorry,” she said, shaking her head as she looked at the crowd, “I wasn’t thinking.”
“No, you weren’t,” Aurora said, shaking her head. She looked up at me, “Still, it is nice to see you smile.”
I nodded, seeing Andre walking toward Aurora. A man with long black hair and silver eyes walked beside him. I frowned as I tried to remember his name. Slowly, it came to me…Garridan.
He smiled when he saw Aurora, “I just wanted to say congratulations on your little girl,” he said, hugging her briefly.
“Thank you,” Aurora said, grinning up at him as Mirella hugged him and began to talk animatedly with him.
Andre stood beside Aurora, putting his arm around her. He kissed her temple and my heart clenched. My marriage would never be like that. I sighed as my head began to swim even more.
Aurora looked at me, concerned, “Are you okay?” She asked, frowning.
I shook my head, “I think I want to go home,” I said, forcing a smile, “I’m feeling a little dizzy.”
She nodded, “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Yes, you will,” I said, standing unsteadily to go in search of Marco.
“Do you want me to go with you?” She asked, frowning.
I looked at Andre and then, looked back at her, “No, I can find him on my own. I’ll stay within the crowd.”
“Okay,” she said, still worried.
“I promise I will be where I can be seen,” I said to reassure her.
Finally, she smiled, appeased, “Okay.”
I walked away from her around the bonfire until I saw Sophia. I walked closer, finding that Marco was speaking to her. I stopped when I heard the anger in his voice.
“I didn’t want this mother,” he said, through his teeth, “I didn’t want the bond.”
My heart sank as tears burned my eyes. I knew that he didn’t want it. I had not asked for it either but the anger in his voice was undeniable.
“She’s your wife,” Sophia said, looking at her son with her eyes narrowed.
“She’s my wife by arranged marriage,” he said, angrily, “That was hard enough. Now, we have the nuisance of this bond.”
I closed my eyes and stifled the sob that threatened to break from my throat. Still, they turned seeing me. Marco’s eyes widened and Sophia looked at me in absolute panic. Tears fell down my cheeks as my heart shattered into a million pieces.
“I’m sorry, Sophia,” I whispered, “It seems that I am not the blessing you had hoped for.”
Then, I turned and walked away. I could hear him call after me but it was too late. I didn’t want to speak to him. I didn’t want to be in his presence. I just wanted to leave. As soon as I was past the field, I ran, hearing my breath in my ears. I looked at the home we had shared for such a short time and swallowed over the pain that rose to choke me. My mother was right. I was unlovable…unwanted.
I walked into the motor home, feeling my heart break again as I saw all of my dreams vanish. The air left my lungs as absolute desolation took me. Only the turn of the knob, caused me to move. I ran back to the bedroom, locking the door behind me.
Tears burned my eyes as I heard him try to turn the knob, “Lilly,” he said on the other side of the door, “Please let me talk to you.”
I didn’t answer him. Instead, I pulled open the closet door and pulled out the luggage within. I began to grab the clothes from the dresser drawers and put them into the suitcases. I didn’t know where I would go. I just knew that I couldn’t live there with him.
He began to pound on the door, “Lilly, open the door,” he said, sounding more and more angry.
I zipped the zipper on the first suitcase of the luggage and grabbed the second placing it on the bed, “Lilly, if you don’t open the door, I’ll break it down.”
I stiffened and looked toward the door, narrowing my eyes. Fine. If he wanted to see what I was doing, he could.
I pressed my lips together as I walked to the door and unlocked it before returning to packing my clothes. I heard him open the door and then, inhale sharply. I could feel his panic.
“You’re not leaving,” he whispered, as I folded a dress.
“Yes, I am,” I said, feeling the anger and hurt bubble up within my chest, “I don’t know why you are even here. I’ve heard what you really think. You should be happy the nuisance in your life is gone.”
He stepped closer to me. His eyes following every movement I made, “I didn’t call you a nuisance,” he said, frowning, “I called the bond a nuisance. If I’m around you, I don’t know what feelings are real or fake anymore. I want to know what’s real.”
Tears rested in my eyes as I looked at him, “Well, you should know your feelings by now,” I said with my nostrils flaring, “You haven’t been here for two weeks.”
A muscle beneath his eye twitched but he didn’t say anything. I shook my head and began to pack again. He ripped the shirt I was folding from my hand.
“I told you that you’re not leaving,” he said, taking the suitcase from me. I backed away, feeling his panic and my anger twist within me. It was overwhelming. I swallowed hard and backed away from him realizing that he wouldn’t let me leave with my clothes.
I could pretend that it was because he cared but I knew better. It was the bond making him act this way. The thought broke my heart further and I knew in that instant that I loved him. Still, the revelation did not make me want to stay. It only made my resolve to leave stronger. I could not be with him, knowing that he would never love me back. It hurt too much.
He was frantically, putting my clothes away as I pulled the ring he had chosen for me from my finger and laid it on the end of the bed. Then, I backed away, looking at him once before turning to walk toward the front door. My hand was on the knob, when he grabbed my wrist, turning me to face him. In a second he had grabbed the other hand, placing my hands above my head.
His face was an inch from mine. His eyes burned, “I won’t let you kill us both,” he said and in that moment, I felt his strength dissolve. I gasped as his mouth slammed into mine in a bruising kiss. Tears mixed with the taste of him. Even if I had wanted to push him away, I wouldn’t have been able to. The bond and the love I felt for him was too much.
He released my hands slowly and for a moment I thought I could resist him but his arm snaked around my waist and pulled me to him. My heart slammed into my ribs as he pulled me away from the door and backed me through the living room and kitchen. I realized that he was taking me to the bedroom but I didn’t care. I needed this. I needed to pretend that he could love me even if it was for only a short period of time.
He pulled the hat from my head as he plunged his hands into my hair, grasping it almost painfully, causing me to gasp. His tongue plunged in intertwining with mine.
We were in the bedroom when he pulled away from me. His breath fanned across my face as he looked into my eyes. His fingers found the buttons of my coat, undoing them before dropping it to the ground. He frowned as he searched my face with molten gray eyes. His breathing was ragged but he didn’t move. My mouth parted as I realized he was asking for permission. Slowly, I reached forward and began to pull his tee shirt from the waist of his blue jeans. He helped me to pull his shirt over his head.
I gasped as I saw the beautiful man in front of me. My hand rested on his toned abs. His olive toned skin was pulled taut over rope after rope of muscle. I blinked as I realized how fit he was. I swallowed suddenly nervous.
He kissed me again as he grabbed my sweater dress. He broke the kiss only long enough to pull it over my head.
His eyes heated as he looked at me, “You are beautiful,” he whispered against my lips, pulling me against him again. I gasped as my skin to
uched his. The buckle on his belt was cold against my skin causing a shiver to run through me. I felt his hardness just beneath it. My hands trembled as I unbuckled his belt and pulled it through the loops before dropping it to the floor.
My fingers traced the waistband of his jeans and he moaned as I unfastened his jeans, unzipping them in the process. He stopped long enough to untie his boots before taking off his socks and pants. Then, he had me in his arms again, kissing me as we fell onto the bed. He pulled away, as his hands traced down my cheek to the side of my neck. He kissed me gently on the lips as his hands moved from my neck down to my breast, gently rubbing before sliding his hand behind my back and releasing the strap.
I inhaled sharply as air hit skin. A tremble shook me as his hands raised, caressing the nipples, pinching them lightly as he kissed my neck. My stomach flipped pleasantly as a moan escaped me. I could feel a tremble in his hands as one traced my belly stopping at the waistband of my panties.
Fear and lust mixed as he began to kiss my neck, my shoulder and my breasts. His hand slipped inside my panties and touched that bundle of nerves there, causing my back to bow off the bed with the force of need. He trembled as he kissed my stomach, moving down the bed to pull my panties from me.
He lay back beside me, “Are you afraid?” He asked as his eyes burned into mine.
I nodded only able to breathe one word, “Yes.”
He caressed my face as he leaned toward me, “So am I.”
“Why would you be afraid?” I asked, frowning.
“Because I’ve never done this either,” he said, swallowing visibly.
My mouth opened in shock and he kissed me again, “I thought you might want to know,” he said, with his forehead against mine, “I don’t know what to expect but I will try to be gentle.”
My heart swelled as his lips met mine. The thought that no one else had enjoyed this man, made me love him even more. My arms encircled him tracing my finger tips down his back as he placed himself at my entrance. He leaned up as he reached forward and caressed my cheek.
Summoned (The Brazil Werewolf Series) Page 9
