by Meredith, MK
He’d told himself he couldn’t do that to her.
Watching her with his mother, seeing her plans for the gala, working alongside her for the launch, had shown him a whole other side of the woman he loved that he’d never seen before.
She was a powerhouse all on her own.
And as archaic as it might seem, he wanted her by his side.
Being with her again, making love with her, holding her in his arms, filled the emptiness inside him, that void that had been gnawing at him all these years.
From head to toe, he looked his fill. She was magnificent.
He had to find a way to show her that side-by-side was exactly where they belonged.
He’d never deserve her, but he wanted her anyway.
It was time to quit punishing himself for having it all, because the fact was that without Blayne he had nothing.
She was his all and everything. And it was time to tell her.
Chapter 14
Blayne slid her hand into Jamie’s as they walked along the grass-topped cliff overlooking the Atlantic behind the Astor estate. Their chef had outdone herself with dinner, and so Jamie’s parents had retired to bed, leaving Jamie and Blayne to enjoy the rest of the evening alone.
They were a distance from the house, the golden wash of the exterior lights casting them in a warm glow and throwing shadows along the grounds as if part of a large soirée.
She imagined there’d been many as Jamie grew up.
A low rock wall bordered the drop-off to the sea below, and three iron benches that had born witness to thousands of stunning sunrises sat a few feet from the protective barrier marking the beginning, the middle, and the end of the safety net along the length of the cliff.
She couldn’t help but appreciate how it mirrored her time with Jamie. Their tumultuous wild ride, the beauty, the raw energy, and the often inflexible truths of reality. No matter how hard she tried to stop herself, she felt as if she stood at the edge and was about to fall to the crashing waves below. But with her heart facing his, there she stood.
“Thank you for bringing me to see your parents.”
She loved the feel of their palms together. The grip of his calluses, the warmth of his skin. She never noticed how sensitive her hands were until Jamie held them.
That was how it was with him. His nearness brought her to life, made her world buzz with energy. She bit her lip. How was she going to ever leave him?
He slid his fingers up her arm then under her hair and gently gripped her neck. “Then why do you seem so sad?”
She shrugged. She needed to tell him she was leaving. It was no secret, but they’d also never talked about a future together, and the chance of being rejected by the man she loved—again? No, she couldn’t take that.
She also wanted to enjoy the last week they had and revel in the excitement and plans for the gala.
But there was more. Talking to Mrs. Astor about her ma had made her think of how short life could be. They were all on borrowed time with no knowledge of when that time was up.
She trailed a finger along his cheek, across the chiseled edge of his jaw, the rough scruff tickling her fingertips and sending goosebumps along her skin. “Talking about my ma. It feels like forever since she passed. Makes me miss my da even more.”
His eyes took on that heavy-lidded darkness of wanting from her touch, and her heart answered by speeding in her chest and stealing a bit of her breath. She continued, “I’m sad about the time we wasted being apart. The time I wasted being angry and hurt.”
Jamie drew her close, but she pressed her palm against his chest, trying to steady her emotions as she got lost in the steely gaze of the man she was head over heels for, forever lost to, and—God help her—still hopelessly in love with.
They’d lost so many years together. And she still didn’t clearly understand why beyond the naivety and immaturity of youth. His…and hers.
Because, let’s face it. If he had returned and he said he’d wanted to, would she really have taken him back? Or, in her pain and fear, would she have rejected his apology, too hurt to save herself from herself?
She, too, had already lost so many years with her father, her siblings. Ireland.
All this time, she’d worked her ass off to do something that would be special enough to show her face again to her father, but now she felt worse than ever.
There was no achievement in wasting so much time. In being a coward. In putting her pride above family.
Enough was enough.
It was time to go home. Her heart broke a little with each beat of Jamie’s against her palm.
It was time she made amends, no matter how difficult it would be.
But first, it was time to take advantage of every opportunity that was left to experience life with Jamie until she had to step on that plane.
It was time to fall over the edge.
“Jamie?” Her whisper barely carried above the din of the crashing waves along the rocks below.
He slid his fingers along her cheeks and into her hair, lifting her lips toward him. “Blayne, I—”
Suddenly afraid of what was to come, of what had come before, she pressed her finger against his mouth.
“The gala is ready, our plans for the launch will sustain Larkin’s amazing vision for this community. Let’s just sit in this moment, okay? Celebrate it. Just you and me.” She searched his face, desperate for him to agree. “I need you—”
A deep growl rumbled up from his chest. “I’ve been waiting for you to say it.”
He slammed his lips to hers with an element of possession that set off a rush of adrenaline and sparked her desire like never before.
His heat and taste enveloped her in a heady cocoon of want. He wrapped his arms around her, lifting her to her toes.
She gripped his shoulders, kneading the mass of muscles, and bringing him closer still. Her skirts fluttered about her legs as his delicious fingers dug into the flesh of her ass, tightening his hold on her. An intense, swirling pressure built between her legs with every kiss, every caress, every groan of pleasure from his lips.
Yes, this was what she needed.
The night was warmer than usual, especially for May, the ocean barely cooling the air from the afternoon sun. The humid breeze weaved between their bodies as they moved, melting into their heat, and leaving their skin to glide effortlessly with each caress.
Jamie walked her backward toward a bench until he dropped down to the seat, encouraging her to follow, to straddle his lap with her thighs.
The hard iron dug into her knees but only heightened the pleasure of his heat between her legs, his muscled flesh in her hands.
She dove her fingers through his hair, gripping with a tug to better angle his face for her kiss. Her tongue teased and tasted. She’d never tire of his unique flavor, would dream of it for the rest of her life.
He slipped the edge of her blouse over her breasts, baring them to the moon and the stars. Her nipples tightened under his gaze, and his hands filled with the fullness of her as if he couldn’t wait if his life had depended on it.
With each gentle massage of his strong fingers, her nipples stiffened into impossibly hard peaks, and the tightness coiling inside of her intensified. She ground down against his hard length, trying to ease her body’s demand for more.
She didn’t want it to be over too soon. This was a night she wanted to take with her, to warm her when she was alone, to comfort her when she ached for him.
“God damn it, woman.” His gravelly curse pushed her, promising more.
“I need to feel you.” She worked the buttons of his shirt, but in her fevered state, fumbled with more than she released. On a groan, she bunched the hem and dragged the material over his head.
His soft chuckle washed over her as he helped to get the shirt off. “Easy.”
She gripped his hair again. “It’s never easy with us.” She slammed her lips against his, just as he had before, reveling in the power of it all. With h
im, she was invincible to everything but his touch, and the contrary fact made her even more desperate to take and to give until they were both helpless.
Lifting her breast to his mouth, his lips found her nipple, sucking, then swirling his hot tongue in an eternal circle of pleasure. From one breast to the other, he worked the weight of them in his hands and drew a moan from her lips.
Her head dropped to the side as a barrage of sensations roared through her. The night sky was an audience of flickering lights, celebrating the concert of their lovemaking. She bit her lip and groaned. With her blouse now bunched around her waist, her upper body completely bare and exposed to the universe, she let her arms drop to her sides to simply feel every caress, tug, and kiss from Jamie’s talented mouth and hands.
“You taste so good.” His voice was thick with wanting and skittered along her skin in a velvety shiver.
Abandoning her breasts, Jamie dropped warm, wet kisses along her chest to her collarbone as his fingers dug into her hips. Fisting her skirt, he tugged and pulled until the fabric floated about them like a cloud. His fingertips found the edge of her panties, dipping beneath the lace at the juncture of her thighs.
Her breath caught, and she lifted a bit to give him more access. The feel of his feather-light touch along her soft flesh ignited her senses, then he touched that part of her that craved him the most. “Jamie!”
“I’m here.” He lightened his touch even more. Just barely skimming her peak with the pad of his thumb. His chest rumbled. “I want to bury myself so deep inside you that you can’t imagine how you ever lived without me. But first, I want to feel you, to have you feel me. To remember. And never forget.”
His words were already too close to the truth for comfort. She pressed her lips against his neck, taking in his scent, memorizing his texture and taste. With shaking hands, she worked at his belt then, with his help, shoved his pants down to his thighs.
She took him in with hungry eyes, her body clamoring to take him inside and let him do just as he wanted. The thick length of him rose between them, setting her core off in a series of tiny contractions in reflex to the sight. “I want you.”
“Good God, woman. I’ve never stopped wanting you.”
He grabbed the back of her head with one hand, drawing her in to take her mouth, while his other slid her panties to the side.
She gripped him, squeezing against the solid heat, and rubbing his tip against her.
Her body buckled at his touch, and his hips jerked up toward her. His low growl elicited an elated, breathless giggle from her lips as she did it again.
“Blayne,” he warned.
Her body was slick and ready for him. Primed to more than finish this ride, but rather take control of it and make it one he’d never forget.
Holding him to her, she lowered over the head of him, just enough to feel the ridge of his length, then she lifted.
His dick throbbed. Teasing him was fun, but it tortured her as well.
Holding his gaze with her own, the moon and stars blanketing them from above, the ocean waves buffeting their ears, his heat, his taste, his scent—her senses were in overload, and a heightened urgency for release exploded from her center.
She slid over him, taking his body into her as far as she could before she lifted and did it all over again.
As she moved over him, he growled against her lips. “Fuck me, you are too much.”
Their lips met, desperate to take in every flavor the other offered, and she slid along his length again and again, harder and harder. His fingers dug into the mounds of her ass, and she gripped his shoulders, trying to gain momentum and seeking control that was neither hers nor his, but only belonged to both of them together.
Together.
The beauty and perfection, the dark and the pain, all rolled into one reality of life, and with one last thrust from his hips and drop of her body, they soared over that cliff together in a never-ending white light of pulsing sensation.
Jamie swallowed her cry of release as his own groan rumbled from his chest. She ground against him, riding the waves of pleasure that washed through her in an ongoing ripple of clarity.
“You’re mine, Bean,” he said in a fierce whisper against her lips.
In the U.S. or Ireland, it didn’t matter. She was his.
With or without honor, there was no one else.
* * *
Jay stared at the warm glow of the sun as it slowly peeked from over the horizon and grinned with contentment.
Contentment.
A feeling so foreign to him over the past ten years, he was surprised he remembered the sensation.
Blayne’s warm curves melted into his own hard angles on the hammock in the yard just south of the cliff. Only now her polka dot skirt covered them like a blanket instead of settling about her waist. Exhausted, they’d found their way like drunken sailors to the softly woven bed and had fallen asleep in each other’s arms. They had a few days left before the gala, and for the first time, he felt as though he could breathe.
They’d achieved more than he’d originally envisioned when he’d taken on the project. She was a sharp and savvy businesswoman with an intense work ethic and tireless effort.
And she was finally his.
If he’d ever doubted their future before, he didn’t now.
A surging need to protect her swamped him. From him or herself he didn’t know, but what he did know was she was his, and he’d forever be hers. There was no one else.
He would never hurt her again and do everything in his power to earn her trust. And if it took every day for the rest of his life, well, that worked for him just fine.
Settling in deeper, he reveled in the fresh citrus and ocean scent of her hair. That combination had haunted him all the years they’d been apart. Her smell had been as much a part of him as the berry red of her lips and the crystal-clear green of her eyes.
Her no-nonsense demands and the compassionate, over-protective nature of her friendship had made every other woman he’d ever met seem lacking.
How had he ever left?
She stretched alongside him, and her eyes fluttered open.
“Good morning,” he whispered.
Her lips spread into a wide grin. That self-satisfied grin often attributed to the Cheshire cat.
“Good morning.”
She didn’t jump up and worry that they’d fallen asleep or that his parents might find out. Her sense of self had always been a part of her he’d loved and admired. Instead, she eased into him, gliding her lips along his. “I haven’t slept that hard in ages.”
“That’s because you missed me.” As soon as he said the words he regretted it, but to his surprise, the warmth in her gaze remained.
“I did,” she returned softly.
“Blayne.” The need for her to fully understand him became urgent. “When I left, at first, I only thought of myself, then I only thought of saving you. From me.”
Her gaze wandered across the yard to the ocean and the sunrise beyond. “You’ve told me this before.”
“I know, but there’s more. You know I was selfish and ambitious. Filled with an almost desperate need to prove myself.”
“Almost?”
He squeezed her. “I always had a problem with how often my mother was left alone. Marrying into the Astor family comes with drawbacks, and I couldn’t ask you to be with me only to be left all alone.”
She propped up on his chest, her dark, silky hair falling about her face. “But leaving didn’t save me from that. I was still all alone.”
Pressure in his chest made it hard to breathe.
“Honestly, you don’t give your mother or me enough credit.” She slid a finger along his lower lip. “But it doesn’t matter now. I wasn’t in a place to understand anything but my own pain back then.”
She sighed, then looked him in the eye. “It’s okay.”
Weightlessness washed over him. The idea of her forgiving him had never been on his radar, only a life
of proving he’d never leave her again. “It’s not okay. I—”
She pressed a kiss to his lips. “What I mean is…I forgive you for leaving. We were eighteen. Too young to make the decision to cross the ocean and too young to commit to forever. I was as much to blame for my circumstance as you. More so, if I’m honest and really take responsibility.” Her warm gaze held his. “It’s just that with how much I love you, it was too devastating to handle with any kind of poise.”
He was so caught off guard by the words “I love you” that he missed her when he tried to keep her from moving away.
She stood beside the hammock, righting her clothes. “Let’s face it, I am not known for my reasonable temper.”
He watched her run long, slender fingers through her hair, then tuck her silk blouse into her skirt. Right before his eyes, she transformed from disheveled lover to his sassy, face-the-day, vintage Blayne. Though he loved the look, he couldn’t help the feeling of immediate loss.
With a tilt of her head, she asked. “Why the look? I’m saying I forgive you.”
Dropping his legs over the side, he sat up, visions of everything he ever wanted flirting with his mind’s eye. “I know I don’t deserve it, but I swear I’ll spend every day earning it.”
She stilled, a shadow crossing over her face.
“What’s wrong?” He hated not knowing what was going on in her mind.
Shifting from one foot to the other, she shrugged with a whisper. “I wish we could freeze time and just keep last night, this moment, forever.”
His relief was swift. “We can, but your clothes are on.” The sullen tone in his voice slipped out before he could disguise it.
Her burst of laughter lit her face, and it was as if a tether had been cut and he was floating. Grabbing for him, she tugged him to his feet, then wrapped her arms around his waist.
It was a feeling he’d take to the grave. This woman in his arms, against his heart.
She tugged the top of her blouse over her breasts until they stood in their full naked glory under the glow of the rising sun. “Well, then, we’ll just have to remedy that fact once we get to town.”
