My eyes darted across the room because his searing gaze felt too intense.
“Look at me, Piper,” he coaxed in a gentle tone. I glanced back at him with a heart full of uncertainty. “Surely you must have picked up this vibe? I’ve waited two long years for the chance to tell you this. I tried to ignore, forget…I don’t know what else, but I could never stay away.”
Sitting motionless, mainly due to the wine, my mind grappled with what he had said to me. “You still living under Gibson’s roof is the only thing that’s stopped me from voicing my feelings. You have no idea how hard he warned me off and from his perspective I know he’d take great delight in disemboweling me if he knew I had invited you here and aired my feelings like this.”
“I don’t understand. What was it I did? How did you know?” I asked confused, because to my mind I had never done anything that was overly flirty or wore clothes that were provocative around him.
“Sometimes no matter how well we think we hide our feelings, the other person just knows. You may have thought you were careful, but you didn’t consider whether I could read all the subtle signals you gave off.”
Leaning forward, I shoved the plate I’d been using further into the center of the table to break the intensity of the moment between us then I sat back again. Avoiding his eyes, I looked down at my hands.
“Signals… what do you mean?” Inside, I felt both shame and anxiety radiate through me in equal measure when I thought that Gibson and Chloe may have noticed what Simon had obviously seen in my actions.
Oh, God, I should have known better. Both Gibson and Simon were used to women lusting after them and they were well versed at being hit on. Even though I had never made a conscious effort with Simon he still knew. Is it how I look at him? What is the difference between how I look at him to how I look at everyone else?
“Yeah, signals. The way you always touch your lips when I’m talking, and you’re supposed to be listening. You’re doing it now,” he added, and I became conscious one of my hands had migrated and was stroking over my lips. I dropped my hand immediately to my lap, and he chuckled. Shit.
“Then there were all the times you carefully tucked your hair behind your ears or stroked your fingers across your cleavage when you wore those tiny white tank tops and brought attention to your tits.” My eyes went wide with shock and I shook my head with my jaw open.
I had no idea where his comments were coming from, but as he had busted me with the lip thing I guessed I had done what he said.
“You’re not going to tell me those long stares that have passed between us had no effect on you,” he asked, one eyebrow raised in question? They had. They made me wet and I’d clenched my thighs together more times than I cared to remember. Remembering those feelings again made me embarrassed and hot all over again.
It was obvious Simon had paid close attention to me, and my body language had let me down. I could hardly deny the very specific gestures and figured the only course of action was to come clean.
Nothing had prepared me for this moment and for a few seconds I felt foolish, childlike, and almost convinced myself he’d laugh when I admitted the feelings I had for him. Eventually I figured I had no choice when I stared into his eyes. Simon could obviously read my thoughts.
Chapter Nine
“Big deal, I have a crush on you. What girl doesn’t have one?” I answered, sounding a little more impertinent than I had intended, but finally fronting him out for putting me on the spot.
“Good to know I’m not mistaken,” he replied as he gave me another small smile and chuckled before he leaned across and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.
Instead of drawing back to his usual position, his hand cupped my cheek, and I was immediately out of my depth. I chuckled nervously, a new wave of shyness taking me way past my comfort zone. “Please don’t… this is embarrassing, stupid—”
“What’s embarrassing about being attracted to someone?” I didn’t answer, and he sighed, looked puzzled and tried again.
“Come on, tell me what you’re thinking?” his voice was gentle, encouraging, nurturing.
“Please…” I pleaded as my eyes ticked over his face. When they stopped and locked in his gaze, the intensity and weight of his piercing stare mesmerized me.
I thought if he could read me like he professed, he would have seen I had no words, my mind consumed fully by the tenderness in his gentle touch.
Another pause in the conversation told me he was being patient, but he wanted an answer. I sighed heavily then shrugged my shoulders, helpless for what else to say because the situation I had found myself in was bigger than I was prepared for. And when my silence continued it became clear to him I didn’t want to respond.
Eventually, he sighed. “Want to know what I think?”
“I already know what you think,” I snapped quickly, pulling away from him. Persisting for answers I didn’t have was annoying me. “You don’t have to say it. You’re flattered and interested enough to mess around with me like this, but you’re sure when I’m older I’ll find a guy—”
“What the fuck? Really, Piper? Nope. That’s not it at all. I won’t say any of that. Didn’t you listen to any of what I said to you before?” He stopped talking and stared pointedly again. “Now, do you want to hear what I have to say, or would you prefer to keep making your own shit up about what’s in my head?”
The knot in my stomach tightened when I tried to hold his gaze. Simon reached over again and placed his large strong hand over both of mine resting in my lap. His action made me realize I was absentmindedly wringing them together and my gaze fell to his soothing gesture.
“Hey. Stop. Please don’t feel uncomfortable with me. You have no need to be nervous, Piper,” he advised me in his soft quiet tone. It was all right for him to say that, but I’d never been confronted about my feelings before.
My eyes flicked to Simon’s, and he held my gaze again as frustration flitted through his. Drawing in a sharp breath, he held it for a moment before letting it go. His eyes softened, and he shook his head.
Shifting his position, he shuffled closer. When he sat alongside me, his arm brushed mine and he left them touching, but his focus was straight ahead toward the pool. A small thrill ran through my body at how close we were. I felt the heat from his arm radiate onto mine.
“Piper, what I want to say isn’t designed to embarrass you or make you feel uncomfortable. All I want to do is tell you how I feel about you. Gibson may see you as a young vulnerable girl and I get that, he’s bound to think the way he does given the role he’s taken on with you.”
When he paused, I glanced over at him. Sitting quietly, he chewed the inside of his cheek in thought for a moment, as if mulling over what he had said.
I’ll admit I may have been a little vulnerable, but I didn’t want Simon to feel as if I was fragile.
“Gibson and I don’t see eye to eye on this at all. What I’m trying to say is I’m not Gibson and l’m only gonna say this once,” he sighed heavily and turned his head to look directly into my eyes, “What I’m trying to say is you matter to me.”
Blinking rapidly, I stemmed the tears that immediately filled my eyes. My throat burned with a lump that had formed and I sat motionless unsure what the word ‘matter’ meant. Hearing he cared about me was overwhelming.
I’m so out of my depth. What should I say? For the first time in my life I felt incompetent and ignorant as to how to respond, like I hadn’t earned his feelings.
Back home in high school I had fooled around with a boy a couple times, but I always stopped short of the home run. I wasn’t ready, and I wasn’t in love. What a time to recognize just how socially backward I am with the opposite sex.
There was one thing Gibson had said about Simon that I couldn’t deny. He was very experienced with women. So experienced, the thought of me being anything to him appeared absurd, yet it appeared it was an unexpected reality.
My suspicious eyes studied his face for
the truth. I’d seen him often enough when he yanked Gibson’s chain about something, and I saw no trace he was lying or deriving pleasure from seeing me confused.
“I’m not fucking with you, Piper,” he added like he’d read my thoughts.
“This is… I… we can’t… I don’t… I’m just a girl, Simon,” I finally spat out helplessly when I’d changed my mind from the several alternatives I left unsaid, such as This is ridiculous, I’m a virgin, we couldn’t possibly do anything about this, Gibson would go crazy… he’d kill the both of us. “How can you possibly be interested in someone like me?”
“Someone like you? Are you serious? How the fuck could I not be? Look at you, Piper, you’re perfect. Adorable. Why wouldn’t I be interested? What is it about me you’re afraid of?”
I shrugged, feeling lost for words.
“Yeah, you’re younger, a lot younger than me, but you’re a very beautiful woman nevertheless. If you need further convincing, I find you intelligent, smart as fuck as an artist, and I’ve never been drawn to anyone more. I know you’re probably vulnerable and I want to get this right.”
“Vulnerable? Do you see me as an easy target? A challenge? An innocent virgin? To be honest Simon, I don’t know what to think… what you want with me… what this all means.” I tossed my hands helplessly in front of me.
The air between us felt highly charged with an expectation on both sides. Simon’s with the need to convince me of his attraction. And mine with doubt and suspicion. “I overheard Gibson talking to Chloe about you and I think he’s right.”
“Right? About what?”
“That you’d hurt me.”
His hand moved to my hair, and he stroked it gently. “I’d die trying not to, sweetheart. Look, when Gibson told me what you were going through right before your mom passed I’ll admit I felt sorry for you. But believe me, I know the difference between pity and lust. I hadn’t even met you then. What I feel is as much of a revelation to me as it is to you. I never expected to feel how I did the first night I saw you.”
I felt my face grow red and his eyes softened empathetically. “Trust me, baby. I tried hard to fight these feelings. I get hard in normal conversation with you and I can guess how it looks to everyone else, but I don’t see a twenty-year-old girl. What I see is much more than that. I see a strong and ballsy, if a tad innocent, woman. You’re beautiful, your voice gives me goose bumps and the way you move mesmerizes me.”
My eyes ticked over his face because it felt incredulous he was attracted to me. “Gibson said he felt he had to protect me from you. Did you know that?”
“Sure, because I have a bad boy reputation as a player, right? Back in the day Gib’s rep was much worse than mine. I get it—he thinks I’m out to tap you and that would be the end of it, but that’s not what’s going on in here.” He slapped his chest hard with his palm.
“Forget what Gibson says or anyone else who’d have an opinion on this. Big deal, there’s an age difference. Age is merely a number. Relationships are borne out of chemistry, attraction and common interests. It’s the connection between two people that counts. Some of the strongest relationships have wide age gaps. What matters is how couples treat each other and how they feel… which incidentally has nothing what-the-fuck-so-ever to do with anyone else.”
Simon placed his palm against my cheek once more and for the first time I felt comfortable with his touch. I leaned into it. His serious face brightened and he gave me his a sexy smile.
“Piper, I’m not going to act on my feelings right now other than to make it clear they’re real. I only want you to know that despite what Gibson thinks will happen this isn’t about me nailing you for the sake of it.”
I felt my face flush. “This is…” I sighed, my inadequacies swamping me. “I never expected…” No matter how I tried, I had no idea what to tell him. How to respond.
“Shh. I know, sweetheart,” he soothed, placing his finger across my lips to silence me. “I can see you feel overwhelmed. You don’t have to worry, I have no expectations and I’m not gonna make a move on you unless I think you’re giving me the go ahead, so you can relax.”
Relief washed through me because although I craved more of his touch, his kiss and more, I needed time to get used to the idea of Simon being interested in me.
“As you saw earlier, my attempt at handling my feelings hasn’t gone the way I expected either and the last thing I want is for you to feel coerced by anything. All I wanted you to know is I feel something between us too.”
My chest felt tight because it was one thing to have schoolgirl butterflies and a crush that was going nowhere. To realize the potential I had with Simon to do things I neither felt ready or confident to do gave me a much greater challenge to mull over.
My sexual experience was practically ziltch, nada, zero. Entering into something with Simon was far from the schoolboy fumble behind the bleachers I’d experienced before. I didn’t even have anyone I felt close enough to talk to about how to handle it. There was no way I could discuss it with Chloe for fear of her telling Gibson.
Most of the stuff I knew about sexual relationships came from Google and porn sites, but nothing could prepare me for how to respond to the real life feelings that ran through my body, that made my thighs squeeze, my core pulse, and my panties wet.
The sum extent of what I knew about the normal psychology of relationships, was that relationships should be between two people who had equal status and value, where no one wanted to control the other.
My thoughts turned again to Simon and all the unfamiliar feelings he awoke within me and the knot in my stomach twisted tighter than I ever knew it could.
“If you feel the same way and you want to explore what we’ve got, I’m ready whenever you are. I get it. I’m a much older guy with a record of sexual conquests. Truth be told that should make me a no-go area for any decent girl, but there’s always that one girl a man is willing to change for. Take Gibson as case in point. You’d be hard pressed to find a more loyal and loving man to his wife than him.”
Everything he said was true. I’d heard about Gibson’s Legacy; read about it in fact: Google is a mine of information. His antics had made some shocking reading, but Simon was right, Gibson was nothing like the reputation that preceded his life with Chloe. Knowing how he was with his wife I saw for myself what the right woman could do for a man.
“Sorry, I should be better at dealing with this kind of… I’ve never been in…” my voice trailed off, then I looked at him and smiled. “I’m kinda out of my depth right now,” I confessed.
“I figured that, and like I said, I won’t put pressure on you, sweetheart. Shit, I never even imagined saying any of this today, then I went and swiped that sauce from your lips and made that crass remark about it.”
I chuckled, seeing the funny side of it, “It could have been worse I suppose. If the table hadn’t been so big you may well have sucked it off,” I replied, then almost swallowed my tongue when I realized what I said. I glanced nervously at him knowing there would be some kind of response to my comment.
“Shit, I really want that do-over now,” he said, flirting back. I became conscious my body was reacting to every comment he made when my thighs squeezed together again.
“Is it me or is it too hot?” I asked fanning myself. I wasn’t sure if it was the situation I had found myself in, the balmy night air or being near Simon that suddenly made the heat unbearable.
“We could take a swim if you want?” he offered.
“I didn’t bring swimmers with me… I didn’t think to.”
“You can always skinny dip,” he teased, his eyes darkening with lust at the thought.
Shaking my head shyly I replied, “Not sure I’m ready for that.”
“I am,” he replied and chuckled again, “I mean me… not that I’m not ready… aww shit, you’ve got me as tongue-tied as you are now,” he teased and chuckled again.
“You could go in wearing your underwear,” he sugg
ested, and I stared at the beautiful cool pool as I considered his offer. “Don’t over-think it, Piper, if you want to do something just do it.” It would be like wearing a bikini and he’s seen me in those hundreds of times at home.
Simon stood up and wandered over to the wine cooler again and pulled out another bottle. This one had a cork. After opening it with the corkscrew, he made his way back to the couch and filled our glasses again.
“Maybe another drink will make you feel loose enough to forget your inhibitions and help you feel more comfortable about being around me here.”
“Are you trying to get me drunk to take advantage?” I probed, but my tone sounded playful.
“Piper, if that’s what I wanted, I’d have been inside you the first day you arrived in Santa Monica,” he said with conviction and I believed him.
I blushed at his blunt reply. “Sorry, that wasn’t fair,” I admitted.
“No, it’s a fair question considering my reputation for having loose morals,” he said without shame.
My heart clenched in response to his honesty and something shifted inside. “About that swim,” I suggested, giving into the heat.
Simon’s eyes glittered mischievously. “You’re game?” I didn’t miss the disbelief in his tone.
“Well since the temperature is at melting point and I’m all hot and sticky…” I replied and let my voice trail away, cringing when I realized the double meaning my choice or words had.
Simon’s laugh was infectious, “Enough already,” he scolded, chuckling as he stood and adjusted himself in his pants. My eyes fell to his groin before he turned, but he didn’t notice and walked toward the pool.
“Drink up your wine, and I’ll get us some towels from the pool house,” he replied over his shoulder as I tried once again to contain my embarrassment.
Piper: A Last Score Spin Off Page 9
