In that instant, however, he knew the real truth.
That silence was far worse.
Crash.
Blindly, Luke reached out. His fingers caught in the limp, metallic folds of airbags that had erupted from the steering-wheel, the centre console and the dashboard.
‘Can you hear me?’
A tiny sound in the silence as he strained to listen. An indrawn breath. Tentative and ragged.
‘Y-yes.’
It wasn’t Crash. It was Anna.
Of course it was. He’d known that all along. Hadn’t he?
And she was alive, thank God. ‘Are you hurt?’ ‘I …
I’m not sure …’
He had to move. To find a source of light and then check Anna out. He had to get her out of this and make sure she would be all right. Any other course of action or result was unthinkable.
But his head swam when he tried to move. Impossible to tell which way was supposed to be up. Had the car ended up on its roof instead of its wheels? Was it really Anna?
Luke found the catch of his safety belt and released it. His body didn’t start falling so he wasn’t upside down. His head started to clear.
‘Take a deep breath,’ he told Anna. ‘As deep as you can.’
He listened to her comply with his request. ‘Is it difficult? Does anything hurt?’
‘N-no …’
‘Can you move your arms? God, it’s so dark. I can’t see anything. Does your neck hurt? Don’t move your head if it does.’
He could hear Anna shift position. Could see a change of shape in the darkness.
‘I … 1 can move.’
So could Luke. He turned and began to lean sideways so that his hands could reach Anna’s huddled figure on the far side of the vehicle. She was lower than he was. The car was on some kind of slope.
And then he froze.
It wasn’t his head swimming this time. It was the car that was moving. Rocking gently.
There was a scratching, scraping sound coming from somewhere beneath them. Metal on rock. And Luke became aware of another sound. He hadn’t noticed it before because it could have been the rush of his own blood pulsing in his head.
Somewhere, far below, waves were rolling onto rocks.
They had been on a coastal road that often came close to clifftop. There had been a fence of some kind. A farmer’s field or a barrier that was there to prevent anyone getting too close to a dangerous place? Like one that had a sheer drop to rocks that would not be survivable?
Perhaps it was just as well it was too dark to see anything outside.
Cold, damp air was coming in with the sounds of the night. Luke’s door seemed to be missing or crumpled to leave an open space. Survival instinct was trying to kick in. The upward ground was on his side and he had an escape route. Even if the car was teetering on the top of a cliff, he could make a dive for it and roll free.
But that would change the weight distribution dramatically and that might be all that was needed to tip the vehicle and send it plunging over the edge.
With Anna still inside.
He would rather die himself.
The car was still rocking. Scraping.
‘Luke?’ Anna’s whisper was terrified. ‘What’s … happening?’
‘Don’t move,’ he said softly. ‘Give me a sec. I need to think.’
Fear was clawing at him now. A dense cloud that contained a kaleidoscope of images and emotions that paralysed Luke for a moment. Sucking him into the place he couldn’t allow himself to go.
No.
He couldn’t smell blood. Or smoke. Or dust. Nobody was screaming.
They were in a car, not an armoured vehicle. This was Anna. Not Crash.
So why was it just as important that she was going to be all right? Crash was the person he had loved with all his heart. The one he would have given his own life to save.
It had taken a split second for Luke to understand the truth that silence could be more dreadful than any scream.
The truth he now learned arrived with similar, blinding clarity.
He had only been confused about the person he needed to save because of an emotion he hadn’t allowed himself to entertain.
He loved Anna.
A different kind of love than he’d had for Crash but it was just as powerful. More so, even. He’d been kidding himself thinking of her as his rope. Or anchor. Or any other kind of tool to help him find his own future.
She was that future.
From that first moment when he’d found himself under her resentful glare she had entered his consciousness. His mind and—slipping somehow under a defensive radar—his heart.
‘Luke …’ Anna was crying. ‘Talk to me. Are you hurt?’
‘I’m fine.’ He moved his hand carefully, just far enough to grip hers. ‘As long as you are.’
‘What happened?’
‘We’ve had an accident. There was a truck. It came around a corner on the wrong side of the road. I had to swerve and. Oh, God, I’m sorry, Anna.’
The grip on his hand tightened. ‘That doesn’t matter. We just need to get out.’
‘We have to be careful. I’m not sure how stable the car is and I don’t want it to move.’
‘I’m scared.’
‘I know. I am too but we’ll get through this, Anna. Together.’
‘Are you sure you’re all right? It’s not … I mean … You know … like a flashback thing?’
Oh, yes. The flashbacks he’d never admitted to. He couldn’t admit to loving Anna either, could he? What did he have to offer her? He was broken.
‘I want to get out. I want to get home.’
‘I know. We will. I’ll get you out, Anna. I’ll take care of you.’
There was a light outside now. Coming closer. A powerful torch that filled the interior of this battered car in a sweeping motion. For a heartbeat Luke could see Anna’s face clearly. The way she was looking at him.
She wasn’t going anywhere, she’d said—way back before the accident had happened. She’d said she loved him.
He could see that love in her eyes. He could fall into it. Return it? How much courage would that take? What if he failed her, as he had failed his brother? If he lost her.
‘Anna … I—’
The light got brighter. Steadier. A man’s voice called out. ‘Whatever you do in there, don’t move. I’ve got a chain in the truck and I’m going to get it onto the back of your car. Help’s on the way.’
Luke didn’t want to move. Neither, it seemed, did Anna. The grip on his hand was tight enough to impair circulation.
‘Don’t let go of me,’ she begged. ‘Please. Not yet.’ ‘I won’t,’ he vowed. I can’t, he added silently, because I love you.
The nearest hospital was St Piran’s.
Ben Carter was astonished to find Anna and Luke turning up in the emergency department, dressed up to the nines, in the early hours of the morning but he was more amazed to be able to give them a medical all-clear not long afterwards.
‘You’re both incredibly lucky. A few bumps and bruises but nothing that a good sleep won’t help.’
Anna caught Luke’s wry glance. As if a good sleep was remotely likely for him even when he hadn’t been through such a traumatic few hours. It was a private exchange. Ben didn’t see it because he was shaking his head.
‘I can’t imagine what it must have felt like, seeing your car going over that cliff when the chain broke. The rescue guys are going to be talking about their good timing for years to come.’
‘So will we,’ Anna said. She smiled at Luke. ‘Let’s go and see if that taxi’s here yet.’
They went to Luke’s house because it was closer and Anna was still worried about the effects the accident might have had on Luke that no X-ray or examination would have picked up.
To have had this happen today, of all days, when he had been starting to open up to her about the past that haunted him so badly. No wonder he was so quiet now. And why he made no
move to make love to her when they went straight to bed. They were both utterly exhausted but Anna was determined to stay awake. To be ready to hold Luke when he had the nightmare she was sure would come.
At some point, however, she fell asleep because it was impossible not to. When she awoke to find winter sunlight warming the room, she gasped in horror. Had she slept through Luke waking? Going to outrun his demons on the beach or dispel them with an arctic swim? He never missed his dawn swim.
But he was still there. Beside her. One arm draped over her body. Her gasp must have woken him because his eyes were open.
‘You OK?’
Anna nodded. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘What for?’
‘I must have slept through you getting up. I didn’t mean to. I wanted …’
Luke was staring at her with an odd expression.
‘What?’ she breathed. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘I didn’t get up,’ he said slowly. ‘I didn’t even wake up.’
‘You slept through the whole night?’
‘What was left of it, anyway.’ He blinked at her, disbelief still etched on his features. ‘That’s hours. Hours and hours and hours.’
Anna’s lips trembled as they stretched into a smile. ‘How do you feel?’
‘Different …’ Luke’s gaze dropped to Anna’s lips and then dropped further. ‘Hungry.’
‘You want breakfast?’
‘No.’ He looked up again and smiled. ‘I want … you.’
Anna snuggled closer, raising her face to meet Luke’s kiss. ‘I want you, too.’
‘You’re not too sore or anything?’
‘A bit stiff and achy. Nothing that a walk on the beach in some sunshine won’t cure.’
‘Soon.’ Luke’s lips brushed hers gently and then came back as he sighed. ‘Or maybe not that soon.’
His mouth claimed hers this time and Anna surrendered willingly. The walk could wait.
The last day of January found them walking on the beach.
A dawn walk that had become a firm habit now. Crash was with them, loping around on his big, puppy feet with a stick of driftwood clamped between his teeth.
‘You’re supposed to bring it back,’ Luke called.
‘He wants you to chase him.’
‘That won’t help his retrieving training.’
‘No.’ Besides, Anna didn’t want to let go of Luke’s hand. She loved this time of day with him. In the soft light and breathing the fresh, cold air. Walking so close they often leaned on each other as well as holding hands. And sometimes, as they did right now, they would stop and watch the waves rolling in for a minute or two.
‘You haven’t been for a swim since the accident.’
‘No. I don’t need to any more.’
Anna gave Luke a questioning glance but he was still staring at the waves.
‘When I came back from Iraq,’ he said a moment later, ‘it seemed like I had no connection here any more. Or anywhere. Part of me was still over there. Caught up in the frenetic battle to save lives. To stay alive. Civilian life seemed empty. Meaningless.’
Still Anna said nothing. She couldn’t. She remembered Luke saying something about that and she hadn’t forgotten thinking that she had been included in the things that had no meaning. She knew that wasn’t true. Maybe Luke hadn’t told her as such but he was showing her. Every day. In so many ways.
‘It made me numb, swimming in a freezing sea and getting tossed around by the surf,’ Luke continued quietly. ‘And it helped … then. I don’t need to be numb now. I don’t want to be, even for a moment.’ He turned his head and looked down at Anna.
‘Because even if it was just for the length of time it took to have that swim, it would be too long to feel numb. I don’t want to give up a second of the most amazing feeling I could ever have.’
Anna’s breath caught. She knew the answer but had to ask the question. To hear the words spoken aloud. ‘What is it … that feeling?’
‘My love for you.’
His kiss tasted of the sea and it was slow and exquisitely tender. Anna stood on tiptoe and wrapped her arms around his neck. It took the impatient bark of a large puppy to bring them back to the present moment. Luke laughed, stooped to pick up the stick that had been placed right beside his feet and threw it again. Then he took Anna’s hand in his and they began walking again, a triumphant Crash making wide circles around them with the stick back in his jaws.
‘I love you, Anna,’ Luke said. ‘You are the reason I want to get up in the mornings and the reason I can’t wait to get to bed at night. I hope I never have to have a night or day without you to share it with but …’ He took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. ‘I’m not going to ask you to marry me. I can’t.’
Anna’s feet stopped without any such instruction from her brain. Her hand tugged at Luke’s a heartbeat later and he had to stop, too. She stared at him. The shadows in his eyes had begun to lift in the last week or so but the sadness she could still see in his face was heartbreaking.
‘I can’t offer you anything,’ Luke said. ‘I’ve lost my job.’
Anna gave her head a slow shake. ‘You didn’t lose it. You had the courage to go and talk to Mr White about everything and he had the good sense to persuade you to go onto the board of directors for St Piran’s. You’re going to be a brilliant administrator, Luke, and it’s not as if you’re not going to be part of the department for teaching—’
‘Your department now,’ Luke interrupted.
Anna looked away. It was so weird to think she had wanted to hang onto that position so badly that she would have preferred Luke to have never come back to St Piran’s.
‘I have PTSD,’ Luke said into the silence. ‘An official diagnosis from a qualified shrink.’
‘An eminent psychiatrist who specialises in cognitive-behavioural therapy,’ Anna corrected with a smile. ‘Someone who thinks you’re making amazing progress already.’
She watched a wave roll in. And then another. And then she turned to face Luke again.
‘All you ever need to offer me is your love, Luke.’
He was watching her face with that intent gaze of his. Listening carefully. Waiting to hear what she would say next.
‘And I don’t want you to ask me to marry you,’ she said.
She saw him swallow hard. Saw a flicker of doubt— fear, almost—in his eyes.
Anna smiled. ‘Because I’m going to ask you.’
She took a deep breath. This shouldn’t be so hard, should it? She’d been competing in a man’s world for long enough to be able to tackle anything.
‘I love you, Luke Davenport. With all my heart. I don’t want to have a single night or day without you in it either. Will you marry me?’
He was still staring at her. One of those looks—as if he was seeing her for the very first time.
‘Urn … Please?’ she added.
His arms came around her with such speed that Anna squeaked as she felt herself grabbed and lifted. She was being whirled round and round and the world was spinning.
‘Yes,’ Luke said. ‘Yes.’
He stopped whirling her but was still holding her well off the ground, his hands around her waist. Her hands were on his shoulders as he slowly lowered her enough for their lips to touch.
A new wave came in, leading the incoming tide further up the beach, and it reached far enough to swirl around Luke’s ankles and splash Anna’s legs with pure ice.
Luke dropped one arm to catch Anna behind her knees. He scooped her into his arms and carried her through the still foaming wave to dry sand but he didn’t put her down. Crash followed as they left the beach to go home and get ready for their new day. And still Luke hadn’t put Anna down.
And that was just fine by her.
She was exactly where she wanted to be. Moving into her future, cradled in the arms of the man she would always love.
All the characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author, an
d have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all the incidents are pure invention.
All Rights Reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Enterprises II BV/S.à.r.l. The text of this publication or any part thereof may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, storage in an information retrieval system, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.
This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the prior consent of the publisher in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
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First published in Great Britain 2011
Harlequin Mills & Boon Limited,
Eton House, 18-24 Paradise Road, Richmond, Surrey TW9 1SR
© Alison Roberts 2011
ISBN: 978-1-408-92421-1
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Cover
Excerpt
About the Author
Title Page
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Copyright
St Piran's: The Brooding Heart Surgeon Page 14
