by Dianne Drake
Well, it was a nice idea, but not a practical one, so Zoey’s second choice was to find an escape route that would take her down another hall before Daniel set eyes on her.
“Zoey?” she heard him call out as she was scurrying away.
So much for not getting caught. “Hello, Dr. Caldwell,” she said as she turned slowly to face him, noting that his medical students were closing in all around him.
“Is there something I can do for you?” he asked. A slight smile touched his lips—one so slight that his students wouldn’t have noticed it.
But Zoey noticed it—the smile, the dimples popping out, the crinkles around his smiling eyes. She swallowed hard and smiled back at him. “I’m here to see Mr. Baumgartner. I heard he was being released from the ICU today, so I thought I’d see if he had a change of heart about home nursing care...whenever you’re ready to release him again.”
“He’s pretty distressed right now,” Daniel cautioned. “And embarrassed, I think.”
She felt bad for the man. In a moment of weakness, Mr. Baumgartner had tried to do something stupid, and now he was faced with having to deal with his actions. “Is he doing OK physically, though?” That was her main concern for him.
“As well as can be expected. I had a couple of my medical students sit with him for a while this morning, and he insisted to them that he wanted to go home as soon as possible.”
Zoey pursed her lips and blew out a contemplative breath. “That’s a tough one, isn’t it?”
“Considering that we have no right to keep him here against his will—unless we admit him to the psychiatric ward for a seventy-two-hour observation, which I don’t want to do—I guess you’d say it is.”
“But couldn’t you put him on a psychiatric hold for his own good, since he did try to kill himself?”
“I could, but that would only make him angrier than he already is. And I’m afraid that anger could take a toll on his health. So I’d rather try to keep him in a regular room for as long as I can and watch him from there.”
“You’re still hoping for an optimistic outcome with him, aren’t you?”
Daniel shrugged. “It’s what I hope for with all my patients.”
“But Mr. Baumgartner is more at risk than most of your patients.” She looked around at the med students, many of whom were actually taking notes of this conversation.
“Well, I did tell him that if he has any hope of going home in the near future, and resuming his life as best he can, he’d have to cooperate with our plan for him. He grumbled about it, of course. But I think I got through to him.”
She was confident Daniel had gotten through to him. In his understated way, Daniel had the ability to get through to anybody he wanted to. After all, he’d gotten through to her, and she’d fought him on it. “Well, I’m going to go see him anyway. Maybe talk him into letting me follow him again once he’s out of here. I can tell him that’s part of your plan for him, can’t I?”
Daniel turned to his students. “Miss Evans is the hospice nurse who was caring for our patient before he tried to commit suicide.”
All the students scribbled that little piece of information into their notes.
“Yes, do tell him,” Daniel directed at Zoey. “Now, give me fifteen minutes to finish up with my students, and by then Mr. Baumgartner should be settled into his room. We can go see him together.”
She wasn’t in a position to turn Daniel down, because after all he was Mr. Baumgartner’s doctor. So she sucked it in and smiled. “I’ll be down at the nurses’ station, reading his chart.” With that she walked away from him, knowing full well that he was watching her. It was hard keeping a proper gait under the circumstances and she was grateful that she had to veer off down one more hall to get to where she was going, as Daniel’s intense scrutiny caused goosebumps to run up and down her arms, caused her knees to go weak and caused her heart to flutter. And she was grateful for the wall that held her up once she turned the corner and slumped against it.
* * *
The departure of his medical students couldn’t have come fast enough, once Daniel had agreed to meet Zoey in Mr. Baumgartner’s room. It wasn’t that he wanted to be rid of them, as he enjoyed the teaching aspects of his job. He’d been the young, eager med student once, and his own mentor had been largely responsible for the kind of doctor he was today. Still, Daniel wanted to see Zoey. Under any pretense. It had been three days. Three days of memories of a simple kiss. Three days of admonishing himself for doing it and congratulating himself, all at the same time.
“I’m back,” he said to his patient as he entered the room. Zoey was already there, seated on a chair next to Mr. Baumgartner’s bed.
“Not again,” Mr. Baumgartner groaned. “I thought I’d gotten rid of you the first time.”
“For the moment, maybe. But I’m still your doctor.”
“Unfortunately,” the man growled.
“You know you like me,” Daniel said, smiling.
“I used to like you until you started bothering me.”
“For your own good, Mr. Baumgartner. That’s all I’m here for...your own good.”
“Well, you’re not going to change my mind, young man,” Mr. Baumgartner warned him. “She’s not, either.” He pointed to Zoey. “I’m going home when I feel better, and nobody’s going to stop me.”
“I’ll dismiss you when you’re up to it,” Daniel said quite evenly.
“I don’t care if you dismiss me, or if I dismiss myself. Either way, I’m going home,” the man insisted.
“With home nursing care?” Zoey asked. “Like before?”
“You’re a damn hospice nurse, and I don’t want the likes of you doing anything for me. It’s a reminder of the things I can’t do for myself any longer,” Mr. Baumgartner said angrily.
“But you may regain some of your abilities,” Zoey said, trying to sound hopeful about it.
“Not with people waiting on me hand and foot, I won’t. Especially people who are waiting for me to get worse...or die!”
“We’re only trying to help you, Mr. Baumgartner. That’s all. And it’s not my intention to make you feel bad, because you do need that help now.” Zoey turned to Daniel. “Maybe we could back off the frequency of our visits a little bit so Mr. Baumgartner won’t feel so inundated.”
Daniel looked at Mr. Baumgartner. “But there’s still the concern over what you might try to do to yourself again.”
“It was a moment of weakness,” Mr. Baumgartner said. “I won’t try it again.”
“I didn’t think you’d try it in the first place,” Daniel stated.
“Like I said, it was a moment of weakness. But I’m not usually a weak person, doc. It’s just that it all caught up with me, and I didn’t know how to face waiting around until the bitter end.”
Baumgartner was winding down, giving in; Zoey could see that in him and she felt sorry for the man. He was angry and scared. He didn’t know which way to turn anymore. And he resented the condition he was in. “We’re just concerned for you,” she told her former patient. “That’s why we’re here now. That’s why we’re trying to reason with you.”
“Like I said,” Mr. Baumgartner said, “It won’t happen again.”
Daniel nodded. “I understand, but that still doesn’t change what happened already, and that’s all I have to go on.”
“So I’ll get that damned psychiatric counseling you suggested this morning. As long as you don’t lock me up in their ward. Will that convince you that I can go home?”
“First off, I’m not locking you up anywhere. You don’t need that kind of intense observation. I hope you don’t prove me wrong on that, because if you do...” He shook his head. “I don’t even want to think about what I’ll have to do to protect you for your own good. And, second, the psychiatric consult is a g
ood start. But you’ve still got a long way to go before I’m convinced that you can leave here.”
Mr. Baumgartner dropped back onto his pillow and shut his eyes. “I guess I really messed things up, didn’t I?”
“We all make mistakes,” Zoey said, reaching across to pat his hand. “Some of us more so than others.”
* * *
The interaction between Zoey and Mr. Baumgartner was good, and Daniel was confident that when he released the man this time he’d allow Zoey to come back and take care of him. He hoped so anyway, because he still held out some hope that his patient’s time wouldn’t be counted by days or weeks, but rather by months or even years. The last test results and X-rays he’d looked at earlier today had showed some marginal improvement.
“He’s a tough old guy,” Daniel said to Zoey a little while later.
“And stubborn,” she added. “Hopefully not too stubborn that he refuses medical help once he’s out of here.”
“Time will tell, I suppose.” Daniel walked Zoey to the elevator, but paused before he pushed the button. “Care for a cup of coffee? Or lunch, if you haven’t eaten yet?”
“You always ask, don’t you?”
“And you always refuse. But one of these days...” He smiled as his finger pressed the down button.
“Maybe today. But only because I haven’t eaten and I’m hungry.”
“Really?” That was a surprise. After their last evening together, he wouldn’t have bet a nickel that she’d do anything with him again. But here she was, on the verge of accepting an invitation. Progress, he thought. Toward what, he wasn’t sure. But it was progress nonetheless. “I’ve got some time right now, if you’re serious about it.”
“Are you sure? Because I don’t want you to get behind with anything.”
“I’ve got med students and residents covering my patients right now, and I’m not due back on the floor for another hour, so I’m good. How about you? This isn’t going to eat into your schedule, is it?”
“I had a ton of paperwork to do today, so I’ve got somebody else covering for me with my patients.”
“And the paperwork is done?” he asked.
“As much as I care to get done. What’s left over can wait.” Or be thrown away, as far as she was concerned.
“I take it you don’t like paperwork.”
“I like patient care. The rest of it’s a necessary evil.”
Daniel smiled. “Well, I’m glad you can put your necessary evil aside for a while and turn this into my lucky day.” On the elevator, he pushed the number three, which would stop at the cafeteria.
“I think you should hold off on thinking you’re lucky until after we go to the cafeteria.” Zoey leaned up against the lift wall for the short ride and looked straight ahead, not at Daniel. “Things may not turn out as you’ve planned.”
“Does that mean we’re going to fight?”
“Nope. I don’t want to fight. I don’t even want to engage in a deep conversation. Instead, I’d like to keep it light. Talk about the weather, or Maddie, or the thirteen-K run the hospital’s going to hold to benefit the pediatric wing.”
The elevator stopped and they both got off together, almost shoulder to shoulder. “You running in it?” he asked.
“I don’t run,” she said, following Daniel through the cafeteria doors and on up to the serving line. She grabbed a tray and pushed it on down the line, picking up the first salad she came to. “But, as you know, I do go to an indoor fitness center and climb a rock wall every now and then. And I have a treadmill at home that I use at least three times a week. Oh, and I power walk.”
Coming up behind her, Daniel opted for a plate of poached salmon and couscous along with a bowl of broccoli. “Well, you’ve got me beat. I was thinking about entering the thirteen-K, but I’m so out of shape now I’m afraid even one K would be a challenge for me.”
“You used to work out?” She stopped mid-serving-line and turned back to face him. “I never pictured you as someone who does that.”
“Back before Elizabeth got sick, I worked out religiously. Then I got out of the habit, and it’s hard getting back in. Especially since all my former exercise time is now devoted to Maddie.” He pulled out his wallet and paid the bill, then followed Zoey to the nearest available table.
“I walk in the mornings before work. Every day that I can. Power walking is good for you. Nice cardiovascular workout. You ought to try it sometime.”
“Is that an offer?” he asked.
She looked surprised for a second, but her face eventually gave way to compliance. “I suppose, if you want to walk, it is.”
“How far do you usually go?” he asked, excited by the prospect of doing something with Zoey on a regular basis.
“About five miles, give or take. I’d do more if I could, but I don’t have the time.”
“Every day?”
She shook her head. “Right now I’m doing good to get in every other day. But I hope to increase that eventually.”
“So what time would I have to get up and get myself going in order to walk with you?” His first thought was about Maddie. Would Abby agree to take her a couple of hours early on the mornings he walked with Zoey? He hoped so, as any excuse to have time with Maddie was good for Abby.
“It’s early, Daniel, because I have to get to work early.”
Now she was having second thoughts, trying to warn him off it. He’d caught on to that but he was choosing to ignore it. “How early?”
“Probably about five, since I go out at six. Unless it takes you a long time to shower and get moving.”
Ten minutes to shower, ten minutes to dress, ten minutes to grab something to eat, thirty minutes to get Maddie up and over to her grandmother’s house—that was his everyday morning already, and this would only make it an hour earlier. Not a problem, he hoped, recalling the time he’d joined up with a group of doctors from the hospital who did an early walk every morning. That hadn’t worked out for him as he really did hate early hours. But having those early hours with Zoey...it didn’t seem all that bad. “How far from me do you live?”
“About a mile.”
That surprised him. Somehow, he’d pictured Zoey living on the other side of Seattle. Maybe a two-hour drive from his house, depending on interstate conditions. But no, she lived in his neighborhood. So close, he was surprised that he hadn’t casually bumped into her somewhere. “Since we’re so close to each other, I can definitely be at your place by six,” he said.
“Then it sounds like we’ve got a date.” Said with obvious reluctance.
He noticed that reluctance and, for a second, thought about backing out. But, damn it, he wanted to be selfish about this. Wanted Zoey all to himself for that occasional hour. “Will that give me enough time to get to the hospital by seven?”
“I power walk, Daniel,” she warned him. “Five miles go by fast, and I’m not slowing down for you.”
Somehow, he didn’t think she would.
“Oh, and if walking isn’t enough for you, maybe I’ll take you wall-climbing sometime. You’re not afraid of heights, are you?”
Not actual physical heights, he wasn’t. But this was turning into an emotional height that scared the living daylights out of him.
* * *
Zoey tied her walking shoes then wandered over to the window to see if Daniel was approaching yet. She glanced at the clock on her living room wall. Five till six. “Five more minutes, Daniel,” she said. “Then I’m leaving here without you.”
There was no leeway in her schedule. None whatsoever. And if Daniel didn’t catch on to that she had no choice but to leave him behind. That, after tossing and turning in bed last night in anticipation of their walk together this morning.
One more glance out and she still didn’t see him so, sighing,
she headed to the front door and opened it. Maybe another time, she thought as she stepped out onto her front porch and took a long look up and down her quaint little tree-lined street.
“Looking for me?” he asked, winding a path in from the side of her house.
“Where’d you come from?” she asked him.
He pointed to his car parked down the street. “Been here for ten minutes, waiting for you to come out. Pulled some weeds from your flower garden in the meantime.”
“You weeded my garden?” She didn’t know what to say to that. It was a nice gesture, but it was also very...familiar. Too familiar, maybe.
“It needed it.”
“But I would have done it when I had time.”
“Now you don’t have to!”
He was awfully chipper for this time of the morning. Somehow, she’d expected him to be sleepy or subdued. Maybe even a little grouchy. But no, Daniel was sunny. She liked it, but she also wondered if this was an everyday occurrence or something he was putting on specifically for her. “Well, if you show up early day after tomorrow, I’ll leave some ironing out for you.”
Daniel chuckled as he took his place by her side and imitated her in a routine of stretching exercises. First the ankles, then the legs, then the back and finally the shoulders. “How about I send my housekeeper over to do that?”
“You have a housekeeper?” she asked him as she straightened up and prepared to start walking.
“Three times a week. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.”
“Oh, ye of the privileged class,” Zoey said, keeping a straight face.
“Not privileged so much as needy. I don’t have time to take care of my house so I need to hire someone to do it for me.”
