‘You’re so amazing Mia, I don’t deserve you,’ he reached up and pulled my face down to his and kissed me tenderly. ‘I promise I’m going to make it up to you.’
‘You just need to trust me and talk to me Gabe, nothing else.’
‘I will, I’m not going to risk losing you again. Right, I need a shower now as you’ve messed me all up.’ He winked at me and grabbed my hand off his stomach and licked my palm slowly tasting himself on me.
‘O god don’t, you’re turning me on again,’ I exclaimed, amazed he’d just done that. Was that normal for a guy? To taste his own come? Surely not.
‘I’m just glad I still can,’ he replied as he jumped out of bed and strode into the bathroom.
I watched him disappear, his firm buttocks gently moving as he walked. The sight made me want to touch myself and climax again right now. I looked at the clock, but it was already eight, Lexi and I needed to get a shift on, we had our doctor’s appointments at nine to discuss my shitty periods and her pregnancy. I went and washed my hands as he showered and had to drag myself away from the delicious sight of him soaping himself up and went to knock on Lexi’s door.
‘Lex are you up?’
‘Yes, sitting in bed with a coffee, I woke up and wondered where you’d gone and heard you moaning happily in your room, so I figured I’d better stay out.’
‘God sorry,’ I exclaimed as I went in.
‘Hey everyone masturbates, it’s no big deal, I just really need to learn to wear my headphones more often,’ she grinned.
‘Well yes, nothing wrong with masturbating, but I wasn’t, Gabe’s here.’
‘Bloody hell, what time did he turn up? I never even heard the intercom.’
‘He never left.’ I plonked myself on her bed as she looked at me surprised.
‘What?’
‘He was so upset that he snuck into the lounge and fell asleep with one of my tops to comfort himself. He was going to creep out in the morning before we woke up. He said he just needed to be near me.’
‘God Mia, he’s so under your spell it’s untrue,’ she chuckled, shaking her head.
‘I thought it was sweet,’ I objected. ‘I got up to ring him as I felt so bad for shutting him out and not letting him know we would work on it, then I heard him. God Lexi it gave me the fright of my life, I thought someone had broken in.’
‘Why didn’t you wake me up?’
‘You’re hellish noisy when you’re woken up from a sleep, I thought that would alert them.’
‘I’m not,’ she protested.
‘You are. You get very grumpy, plus you’re all extra Norman Bates on these pregnancy hormones.’
‘Thanks a lot.’
‘Hey you know me, I tell it how I see it,’ I shrugged.
‘So you just went in on your own?’
‘Well I realised it was him when he said my name in his sleep, I think he was having a nightmare as he kept moaning. I went to try and comfort him and saw he’d been crying. He looked so sad just lying there with my sweatshirt in his arms, so I covered him with a blanket and he woke up. I didn’t tell you that, he’d be mortified if he knew you thought of him as anything less than a macho alpha male.’
‘Softie’s secret’s safe with me, well softie by name, obviously not by nature from the sounds you were making this morning,’ she grinned. ‘So you’ve been up having hot crazy makeup sex all night?’
‘No,’ I sighed. ‘It was too soon, we just snuggled and went to sleep. I slept really well, for the few hours we had, but I was woken up with a non penis penetration orgasm this morning.’
‘You’re such a lucky cow,’ she sighed.
‘Well if you’d respond to Doug’s request for a date, it could be you doing that soon.’
‘Yeah, whatever, play a new tune. Shit look at the time, we need to get moving.’
‘Gabe’s in the main bathroom taking a shower sorry.’
‘I’ll use the other one, in fact I think it’s better if I do that from now on if he’s going to be hanging around. It’s bad enough listening to the two of you, without walking in on you doing it.’
‘You’re the best. I’ll go and get changed and thanks again for last night.’
‘I would say anytime, but I hope it won’t be a regular occurrence.’
‘God you and me both,’ I groaned. I’d had more drama with in my short relationship with Gabe than all of the others put together. I headed into my bedroom and striped off, grabbed some fresh knickers and bent down to pull them up over my bottom.
‘Now that’s a sight I’d love to see each morning.’ I turned around to see him standing in the bathroom doorway, towel wrapped around his waist and his body and hair wet from the shower.
‘You can talk.’
‘Get your bra on, you’re waving those massive tits in my face and I know you don’t have time for me to touch you the way I want to.’ I smiled and did as I was told, pulled on my jeans and my favourite comfy black and grey jumper. I squeezed past him into the bathroom, kissing one of his wet nipples as I passed.
‘Hmmm biteable,’ I sighed and he playfully slapped my behind and my eyes widened as the tingle radiated through my body. Hmmm maybe there was something to this spanking lark. Gabe just stood watching me brush my teeth and putting my hair up into a pony tail. I turned around to see he was still standing there, staring at me in some kind of trance. ‘You ok?’
‘You’re just so beautiful,’ he sighed.
‘Thanks.’ I blushed, wondering how he could think that, when I had puffy eyes from crying and dark circles from lack of sleep. I glanced up at the clock. ‘Gabe I’m sorry but I have to go in a minute.’
‘Shit I better get dressed so I can leave with you.’
‘What time’s your first lecture?’
‘Ten.’
‘Well you can stay here and have a coffee and something to eat before you go. Did you drive here last night?’
‘Yes I’m parked around the corner.’
‘Cool, then don’t worry. You can just pull the door behind you when you leave and it will lock itself.’
‘You’ve never once asked me what I drive,’ he said, sounding surprised as he pulled on his jeans.
‘Why would I? What does it matter?’ I asked, as I hastily packed my handbag.
‘So if I was in an old del boy robin reliant you wouldn’t care?’
‘No.’
‘I love that about you, money just doesn’t seem to matter to you.’
‘Don’t get me wrong, I’m not naïve Gabe. Money can be great and I’d love to have lots, but I’m also aware that it doesn’t always make people happy, I’ve seen that only too close to home. Right I need to go.’ I grabbed my phone and realised it had gone flat, I’d fallen asleep with it, before Gabe turned up, hoping he’d call or text me. I knelt on the floor and stuck it on the charger. ‘See you in English later then?’ I asked as I got up. He buttoned up his shirt and gave me one of his Hollywood smiles and I had to shake myself to remove the effect it had on me.
‘What was that?’ he laughed, the sound was so wonderful, he really seemed to be getting back to normal.
‘Your smile, it just slays me.’ I walked up to him and put my arms around his waist and tiptoed up to kiss him. ‘Do you need an ice pack, or some cover up? Your cheek’s really bruised.’
‘I’ll be fine. Every time I look in the mirror and see it, it will remind me not to be so stupid again. To trust you and talk to you.’
‘It better, or I’ll give you another one myself,’ I said and kissed it gently.
We walked out into the hall and I yelled Lexi, who emerged from her room fully dressed with damp hair. She smiled at me then looked over at Gabe and gave him a look.
‘Morning.’
‘Morning. Listen Lexi, about last night, the way I treated Mia. I need you to know that it’ll never happen again.’
‘It’d better not happen again Gabe, but thank you for the apology and treat it as accepted.’
‘Wow, I thought it would be harder than that to win you around, you were pretty scary confronting me last night.’
‘You hurt my best friend Gabe, do it again and I won’t be so easy on you, but if Mia can forgive you so can I.’ She turned to look at me and I gave her a smile of thanks for being so gracious. ‘We need to move Mia.’
‘Is it ok if Gabe waits here until he’s ready to go?’
‘Sure.’ She grabbed my hand and led me to the door.
‘See you later,’ I called over my shoulder and it was nice to see his happy face this time as I closed another door on him. I felt so much better now we’d hashed things out and were getting back to relative normality.
We walked quickly, following Google maps on Lexi’s iPhone and just made it to the surgery in time. We were both called straight in and I squeezed Lexi’s hand and wished her luck as we went in separate directions. I had a male doctor and immediately felt on edge, pleasant as he was I knew Gabe wouldn’t approve. He ran through my medical history with me first and then asked me for the reason for my visit.
‘I’d like to go on the pill.’
‘Are you sexually active?’ he asked. I felt like saying extremely active lately, but simply nodded as I felt my cheeks flush. ‘What protection are you currently using?’
‘Condoms.’
‘Will you continue to use them once you’re on other forms of contraception?’
‘No, we were hoping to dispense with them.’
‘You and partner should be tested first to make sure neither of you has an STI, sometimes you can carry one without knowing, men in particular.’
‘He was my first so I’m ok, but he’s already said he’s happy to be checked.’
‘Excellent, well let’s just do a check of your blood pressure first.’
I rolled up my sleeve and mentioned my couple of dizzy spells and the fainting as well. After checking my blood pressure he advised me it was a little on the low side, which along with dehydration could have affected me, so he advised me to keep my hydration levels up and he’d run a blood test and I was to come back if it happened again. He then talked me through the different types of contraceptive pills on offer and we discussed my heavy periods and pains. He was surprised I’d not been investigated further. Even though mum had taken me for a few internals, I’d played it down at the time, too embarrassed, feeling like everyone was fussing over nothing, but these last couple of years had been getting far worse. He prepared the bed and called in a nurse and I was left to get undressed ready for another pelvic exam.
‘You’re feeling tenderness?’ he asked, as I winced when he pressed down on my stomach.
‘Yes, it really hurts when you press there.’
‘Is this where you got the pain during your recent attack?’
‘Yes and it was worse than I’ve had before.’
‘I need to do an internal examination sorry. I’ll start with a speculum which may be a little uncomfortable I’m afraid,’ he said as he showed me the shiny duck billed looking piece of metal. It was smaller than Gabe so that was slightly reassuring. I heard the snap of the surgical gloves on his wrist and felt coldness as he applied some lubricant and tried a few deep breaths as I felt the cold metal object force its way into me. He removed it and told me he needed to do an exam with his fingers and I felt myself tense up all over immediately. The thought of anyone but Gabe touching me there felt so wrong. I put my forearm across my face and bit my lip as I felt the coldness of the lubricant again and felt his fingers work their way into me. I felt a hand slip into mine and peaked out from under my arm to see the nurse smiling down at me.
‘Try and relax,’ she said. Try and relax? Of all the stupid bloody things to say. I felt like telling her to get on the couch, have a stranger stick his fingers in her and try and relax in my place. Nurses really needed to come up with a better catch phrase for these situations. I winced as I felt the doctors fingers probing me internally and externally at the same time.
‘Owwww,’ I yelled as I half sat up, the pain was searing.
‘Sorry.’ He may have said the words, but they sounded totally unapologetic. I heard him removing his gloves. ‘Ok, you can sit up and get dressed. There’s some towel there if you need to clean yourself, I’ll give you some privacy. Come and sit down when you’re ready.’
He slipped through the curtain and the nurse left me with sheets of the roughest paper to try and clean up. I mean why not just leave me with sandpaper? I sighed, I was going to need a bath to sort this mess out. I prayed that Gabe wouldn’t ask me too much about it, I didn’t want to tell him that another man had his fingers inside me, it’d flip him over the edge after we’d just got back on track. The doctor was at his desk typing and when the nurse saw I was fully clothed, she pulled back the curtain and left us alone. I took a seat feeling nervous.
‘Ok Mia, can I ask you if you find intercourse painful?’
‘No, it’s a little uncomfortable on initial …’ I was stuck, how could I say it to him?
‘It’s ok, you’re quite small down there I would imagine insertion and extraction isn’t very pleasant?’ he asked, smiling at me.
‘No,’ I mumbled, as I recalled that feeling of my muscles resisting Gabe’s girth each time.
‘Ok, but setting that aside, how about during intercourse itself?’
‘No, no pain at all.’
‘Hmmm,’ he nodded, looking surprised. ‘Well regardless of that, I’m afraid to tell you that I think you may have some cysts on your ovaries. They were extremely tender on palpitation and this is also where you’d indicated having your worst pain. Combined with your heavy menstruation, low back and pelvic pain, and your tiredness, there’s a distinct possibility that you may have a condition called endometriosis too. Have you heard of this?’
‘Vaguely,’ I nodded. I had a feeling a girl at Rowleys had been diagnosed with it.
‘To put it simply when you don’t get pregnant your womb lining sheds and bleeds, which is your period. With endometriosis other areas in your pelvic region bleed too, that blood has nowhere to go and can form scar tissue and adhesions inside your body, which can be extremely painful. I’ll call the nurse back in to take some blood so I can run some additional tests, I’d also like to refer you first for a pelvic ultrasound scan and if the cysts show up, which I’m confident they will, I’ll refer to you a gynaecologist.’
‘Ok,’ I nodded, it was a lot to take in. The nurse came and took a few tubes of blood from me and left us alone again.
‘Try not to worry yourself, or go reading up on the internet, you’re likely to read worst case stories and stress yourself. I’ll ring you with the blood test results in a couple of days, then once we’ve had the scan done we can go from there ok?’ He smiled and I nodded. ‘Right let me print out your prescription for the pill, you should find that your pain will start to ease up after being on it for a while as well. You’ll get a letter shortly with a scan date, I would hope within six weeks.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Do you have any questions?’
‘No, I think I’m good thanks.’ What could I ask? May as well wait for a scan and worry then. I felt slightly uncomfortable walking back to reception. I could feel the remains of that bloody lubricant working its way down and I felt a bit light headed. Lexi still wasn’t out, so I took a seat and waited for her. She arrived about ten minutes later, smiling.
‘Come on let’s walk and talk, I need to get home and have caffeine and food.’
‘I need to get home and remove half a tube of lubricant,’ I grimaced.
‘O god the dreaded pelvic exam,’ she said, as she held the exit door open for me. ‘Did you get the metal spatula?’
‘Speculum, he was giving me an internal not removing cake batter from my insides,’ I laughed.
‘So you finally told someone the truth about your shitty periods at last?’
‘Well you were right Lex, they have got worse, these attacks are getting far more frequent a
nd painful. Anyway, I have a feeling Gabe’s not going to let me get away with doing nothing about it, so I figured I may as well bite the bullet and face it. They’ve taken some blood and the doctor thinks I’ve got ovarian cysts and possibly endo … endometrosis … whatever I can’t remember the name.’
‘Endometriosis? O shit mate I hope not, I hear it can be a bitch to live with.’
‘Lexi, way to reassure me.’ I flashed her a glare.
‘Sorry, Michelle at Rowleys had it, along with her pelvic inflammatory. What are they going to do about it?’
‘Ultrasound then referral to a gynaecologist. Anyway I’ve got my pill prescription, which I have to start on day one of my period and then I’m good to go without condoms when I’m off again. So enough about me, how did you get on?’
‘Good, I was quite clear that I wasn’t ready for this, so we did another pregnancy test and she confirmed it. She’s referring me to an abortion clinic.’
‘O god Lexi.’
‘I have to go for an initial appointment, to have some tests and to chat through my options, apparently there are lots of different ways which surprised me. Then if I’m ready I’ll book in to have it done.’ She sounded remarkably happy about it, which really reassured me.
‘Can I come with you?’
‘You’re allowed in for the first appointment, as a back-up pair of ears and for advice, but not during the actual procedure.’
‘O god Lexi, I can’t bear the thought of you going through that on your own.’ I linked arms with her and gave her bicep a reassuring rub.
‘Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather have you there with me, but it’s not like I’m agonising over this decision. It’s not like I was desperate to have a baby, got all excited to be pregnant, then found out it was so disabled I needed to let it go. I think this is my only option Mia, I’m so not ready to be a mother.’
‘Well I’m coming with you both times, even if they don’t let me in. I can understand Gabe needing to be near me last night now. I couldn’t bear to be at home, knowing you were all alone and upset. At least if I’m in the same building I’ll feel better.’
Baggage & Buttons Page 3
