“Oh, Tom,” she said with a voice bordering on breaking down. “I feel so terrible.”
“It’s okay,” I hushed her.
“But I killed two men today. I didn’t really mean to do it. I was just scared. I’ve never killed anyone before. I can’t stop thinking about it.”
Gently tracing the edge of her spine, I said, “I can’t take the pain away but I can tell you that you did the right thing. If it wasn’t for you, I would be dead. And there’s a good chance that everyone else on board would either be dead or captured by those soldiers.”
She nodded, the motion making her chin rub against my chest. “I know what I did was right but it still doesn’t feel that way.”
“I know how you feel. I had to run over a soldier with the truck. And then later I had to kill a gang member by doing the same thing. I did those things to save my own life. But when I had to shoot someone, well that somehow made it even more personal. I felt conflicted. It’s hard to give up the trappings of civilization. You and I, we don’t want to kill. It’s not in our nature. I mean I was just a nobody in the world, just someone trying to live my life. Now I find myself with even more responsibilities. I’ll do whatever I have to do to keep you and Sarah alive. That’s the only thing that matters now.”
Allison pulled away from me, not in abrupt manner, but slowly. Her eyes, glittering with tears, looked lovely in the moonlight. “I think I understand. I’ll get used to it – in time.”
I smiled. “I don’t think there is much of a choice.”
“Can I ask what you plan to do next?”
“You mean other than get no sleep tonight? We’ll have to find some food first. And that means the boat will have to be docked somewhere at another town. We also need supplies – medical and personal. If we’re lucky I wouldn’t mind getting some more guns, ideally something that has some real punch in case we run into some more helicopters.”
“You’re worried those soldiers will come for us?”
“My answer is yes. We were lucky to make it out of that town. We were outgunned and that cost lives. If it wasn’t for you, we could have been captured or killed. Tell me, where did you learn to shoot like that?”
She looked positively embarrassed. “My dad was an unapologetic gun nut. Other girls got dolls and sleepovers at friends, I got a twenty-two caliber rifle and gun shows. He taught me to shoot competitively. I hated every second of it, and, by the time I got out of high school, I didn’t want anything to do with guns. Instead I found myself a man, got married, and had a son, Louis, who got to play with all the toys that I always wanted.” She said the last words wistfully.
I felt a tinge of unexpected jealousy when I asked, “What was your husband like?” My voice sounded steady enough.
“Nothing like you and nothing like my father.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
Allison let out a little laugh. “I mean Raul was just a real nobody. He never went to college, or wanted much out of life. He provided for Louis and I, liked to watch soccer and have a few beers with his friends. His pride and joy was his car, which he washed every day. He worked at the same factory from high school until the day he died.”
I didn’t say anything. The world is filled with ordinary people who would never make it to the history books. I was one too.
She asked, “What about your wife? What was she like?”
“Anne? She wanted to be an artist but ended up being a legal assistant. But you could always tell that her heart was somewhere else – I mean she loved me, but not working for such a soulless place. She always wanted to travel, see the world, and have some adventure. I, to her regret, was more interested in staying around the home and living my own life. If only she could see me now.”
“She would be proud of you.”
“You may be right.”
I motioned to one of the chairs. “Why don’t you have a seat? I’m going to stay awake as long as I can and watch for helicopters . I wouldn’t mind the company.”
She sat down. “You don’t expect any more trouble, do you?” She stared out into the darkness. “You really don’t think those soldiers can find us out here in the dark?”
I grabbed another chair and pulled it next to her. I sat down. “I don’t know what capacity they have. But I do know that night vision goggles are a lot more common than they used to be. They know what direction we’ve gone in. If they have another helicopter it wouldn’t take them very long to find us.”
She leaned over, resting her head against my shoulder. “You think too much.”
“Yeah.”
October 26th – Afternoon
The first sensation I had was one of pain. My back hurt. I realized I was sitting upright in a chair. The sun was shining on my closed eyes. I peeled my eyelids open and found that I was alone on the back deck. The boat was moving forward, the low thrum of the diesels the only sound I could hear. I had fallen asleep last night without even remembering it. A voice from the door startled me even further awake.
“Allison told me to check on you.”
I turned and saw it was Sarah. She looked disheveled with uncombed hair and grungy clothes. Of course these days none of us were in the best condition of grooming. Clearing my throat, I replied, “I’m feeling okay. How about you?”
“I didn’t like sleeping in the same room with all of those old people; they get up too much in the middle of the night to go pee and most of them snore. At least I had a sofa to myself. Those old ladies were busy clucking over me like a lost grandchild, making sure I was comfortable.”
“I can’t say I was very comfortable out here,” I said.
“I still bet you got more sleep than I did.” She frowned a bit, the expression turning from a light mood to something darker. “I was told to get you because there is a problem.”
I stood up, feeling every bit of pain from age and the chair I had slept in. “What’s going on?”
“It’s Joel. That nun woman says she doesn’t have the medicine he needs. She’s afraid that he is going to die unless he loses the arm.”
“Where is he?”
“Joel is still the same place, lying on the floor.”
I brushed past Sarah and went into the dining room area. Allison and Elizabeth were huddled over Joel. I went over to join them with a sinking feeling.
“Good morning,” I said as I eyed an unconscious Joel. The bandage that was applied last night was still bleeding through. He couldn’t live long with that kind of blood loss. “What’s the verdict?”
Elizabeth spoke: “That bullet that hit the arm shattered the bone. Without a proper surgeon, there isn’t much we can do to save it. The wound is terribly infected. Without antibiotics, the infection will only get worse and kill him.”
I thought back to all the books I had read and every war movie I had ever seen. “Gangrene? Can the arm be amputated?”
Elizabeth dropped her gaze. “I suppose it’s possible. I don’t know how to do it though. I mean it’s nothing that I’ve ever done before. And even then the surgery, if you want to call that kind of butchery, could kill him. We have no surgical equipment or ways to monitor his heart. If it isn’t done right, another infection could replace the old one.”
“Shit,” I said out loud. I looked over at Allison, who merely shook her head. She was out of ideas too. I looked at the location of the wound. It was a few inches below the shoulder muscle, most of the blood clotted around the bicep. Removing the whole arm would be the only solution unless a strong enough antibiotic could be found; something that could keep the infection at bay long enough that the wound could heal. Of course Joel would never have the use of that arm again but it was still better to live with a disability than to lose his life.
“Stay here with Joel,” I told the two of them. “I’m going up to see Trevor. Maybe we are close to a city; somewhere with a doctor or the drugs that we need to save his life.”
I left. I found Trevor in the bridge, steering the boat down the mud
dy expanse of the river. One hand rested on the wheel while the other kept the throttle in place.
“Morning,” he drawled out once he knew I was there.
“Good morning,” I said in response. “Where exactly are we?”
“As the crow flies maybe thirty miles south west of Desmond.”
“That’s all?” I asked with astonishment. “How long have we been going?”
Trevor glanced at me and broke out into a toothy smirk. “The river ain’t a straight highway, mister. She bends and goes whatever direction she wants. Sometimes you can go for hours and feel like you’ve made real progress, but once you look at a chart, you realize that you’re only a few miles down the river. That’s just the way it is.”
I nodded. “How much longer until we reach another town?”
He glanced at a map resting on the console. “Maybe an hour or two we will hit a place called Leland. I was hoping to fill the tanks with diesel there.”
I nodded. “We will have to run some other errands there too. Joel will need antibiotics, or, if things turn worse, some supplies so we can safely amputate that bad arm.”
“It’s come to that?”
I nodded my head. “I’m afraid so. We also need to get food and some supplies. There isn’t much left to eat. How big is Leland?”
“It’s no big city, that’s for sure, but a few thousand people lived there. I’ve been to Leland many times before since I used to be sweet on a woman who lived there. They have, if I remember correctly, two grocery stores, a little enclosed mall, and even a small hospital. The hospital is nothing fancy, mind you, but it could have the supplies that Joel would need.”
“Provided it wasn’t already looted,” I commented gloomily.
“Yeah, you never know.”
“Okay I’m going to go scrape up something to eat and get ready to hit the shore. I want you to stay here on the boat and wait. You’re the only one who knows how to steer this contraption. I’ll take Allison with me.”
Trevor raised a quizzical eyebrow.
I explained. “She knows how to shoot. If I get trapped out there when night comes, I’ll have a better chance with Allison at my side than anyone else on the boat.”
“It’s your show,” he said, not sounding very convinced.
Apparently old Trevor wasn’t for woman’s rights. I wasn’t about to argue, at least not while I needed him to control the boat.
I went to the upper deck. There the survivors were sitting on leather sofas or standing around one of the card tables. There were also some inoperable slot machines here. I was warily examined by the survivors, not exactly an enemy or a friend, but an unknown quantity in their lives. I was, at least for now, the leader of this strange expedition. But I’m sure that position would quickly change if they were given the opportunity. I found the stash of supplies and selected a can of tamales with a pull tab. There weren’t many rations left. Carrie had only put enough on board to last a day or two. Our meager additions from the truck wasn’t enough to make a difference.
I felt someone tugging on my sleeve. Turning I found myself face-to-face with a little old man who, based on the hollowness of his checks, was missing his dentures.
“I need something softer to eat,” he managed to mumble out.
“We’re stopping at another town real soon.” I told him. And then I raised my voice so the rest could hear. “In another hour the boat is going to be stopping at a town called Leland. Allison and I are going to go off for supplies, including more blankets, food, and drugs. While we are gone, I need everyone to stay on the boat. I can’t have anyone meandering off or I will not be able to guarantee your safety. If you need anything special, let me know before I leave.”
There were a few murmurs, but no one raised any questions. With my can in hand, I headed back down to the lower deck. Allison and Elizabeth were still huddled around Joel, who was now looking worse than before. His forehead was covered with sweat, his skin was even paler, and, even unconscious, let out intermittent low moans.
Once I caught Allison’s attention, I went outside to the back deck. Sarah was there watching the frothing trail of water that the churning paddles left behind. Allison joined us, watching as I opened the can of tamales and began to eat. I was hungry enough that I didn’t mind.
“What does Trevor have to say?” Allison asked.
“There is a town coming up. It may have the supplies we need, along with some diesel for the boat. At least that’s what Trevor said. There is also a hospital there. How much longer do you think Joel can last?”
She shook her head. “He’s not doing very well at all. Elizabeth said the infection is spreading quickly. Blood poisoning.”
“So he may not last the night.”
“I don’t know. He’s in a lot of pain.”
I let out a sigh. “That means we’ll have to get to the hospital first. My biggest fear is getting stuck at night with the vampires out and about. We don’t know if they’re in this town, or if there are hostile people in control of the area. But I want your help.”
She paused for a moment before answering. Her voice quavered. “I-I-I think I can do that.”
“I know you aren’t cut out for this kind of life – none of us are – but you’re the only one I trust to bring with me.”
“What about me?” Sarah asked, finally deciding to turn her attention away from the river.
“You,” I said forcefully, “are going to stay on the boat, which Trevor is going to keep in the middle of the river. If there is any trouble, I’m going to tell him to move on, leaving me and Allison behind.”
“That’s not fair! I can take care of myself.”
“I know that,” I said gently, trying not to anger Sarah any further. “That’s why I need you to stay on the boat. You’re the only one left who can watch out for the others.”
I don’t know if she believed my lie or not, but it seemed to satisfy her for now. “I’ll need a gun,” she said, this time less angrily.
“Okay,” I agreed. “You can have my pistol. But I want you to keep it hidden from view. Only use it if you’re in danger.”
Sarah smiled brightly, the idea of having a new responsibility was obviously exciting to her. Little did she know that I was just trying to keep her safe. For now the boat was the best place to be.
My thoughts were interrupted by a terrible grinding noise coming from the hull. And then the boat moved roughly a few times before one gigantic jerk almost threw me off my feet. I stopped Allison from falling, and with my other hand, managed to catch hold of Sarah as she stumbled past.
“What was that?” she asked.
“We’re no longer moving,” I stated in reply.
The engines had momentarily stopped. And then they began to wind up again, reaching a pitch that sounded as if the pistons were about to come flying out of the blocks.
“Stay here,” I cautioned my companions. “I’ll go check to see what is happening.”
I ran up the stairs toward the helm. There I found Trevor feverishly working the wheel and throttle.
“What happened?” I asked him.
Trevor let go of the throttle and the wheel. He gave me a sheepish grin. “This part of the river is normally dredged. It’s always been clear so I didn’t give it much second thought. I’m afraid I ran the boat aground on a mud bank. It’s going to take some work to free her.”
“How long will it take?”
He shrugged. “Maybe ten minutes, or maybe ten hours. I don’t know.”
“I’m afraid I don’t have that kind of time to wait around, not with Joel getting worse. What can I do to help out?”
The old man sighed. “Unless you got a long-ass shovel, there isn’t much that anyone can do. Based on how hard we hit, we’re sticking in the mud pretty hard. There’s no guarantee that we can free ourselves, at least not without some help from another boat with some bigger engines.”
“So we’re stuck forever?”
“I wouldn’t quite sa
y that. I was going to have everyone move to the stern in an attempt to get some weight off of the prow. With any luck I can slowly work the boat off of the bank. Worse comes to worse, we’ll have to dump everything off of the boat and move the passengers to shore. It’s a question of buoyancy: the less weight onboard, the higher she will float.”
“Then I’ll have to leave now,” I said with exasperation. “You do what you can. Can I borrow one of the lifeboats?”
“Sure. Go ahead and take one on the port side. She’s the only one that doesn’t leak.”
October 26th – Late Afternoon
I pulled on the oars. It was slow going in the rowboat. I thought at least we weren’t working again the current, which meandered slowly in the direction we wanted to go. But nonetheless, time was slipping away. Night was coming too soon.
The tree-line shore was forbidding, an impenetrable mass of vegetation that looked as if humanity had never dared to step past its boundaries. Branches trailed in the water, creating little eddies that swirled momentarily before being swept away. A few dead leaves, a reminder that even autumn reached this far south, were pushed aside by the prow of the rowboat. The birds chirped, and a bumblebee, perhaps lost, buzzed by my ear. Allison stared at me but I could tell by her eyes that she was deep in thought, her mind wandering along with some old memory.
I kept my own concentration on the river, fearing I would hit some submersed object and end up sinking us. That would mean the loss of the boat, and, on the floor, the canvas bag that held the rifle, shotgun, ammunition, and a few other supplies to see us through this planned jaunt through Leland.
The silence was getting unbearable. I finally asked, “What are you thinking about?”
Allison gave me a wry smile. “I thought the woman was supposed to ask the man that question.”
“I’m not that old-fashioned.”
She laughed. On the water the sound seemed to travel a long way, echoing into the trees. “Just because you say it that doesn’t make it true. You’re the most old-fashioned man I’ve ever met.”
I let that comment slide by.
The Dead Are Sleeping Page 14
