by Janice Lynn
But he was in this short term, was the player she’d pretended to be.
He was like Simon.
No, Levi wasn’t like Simon.
Simon had been a liar and a cheat and wasn’t fit to wipe the mud off Levi’s boots, so to speak.
“Madison?”
She glanced toward Levi, forced a smile to her face, and wondered why she was having to force anything. The most amazing man she’d ever met had asked her to help him with a grand opening gala in honor of his mother, had asked her to dinner, and apparently was taking her on a late-evening picnic. At a secluded area of a private lake. She should be smiling for real, enjoying the moment, not worrying about the past.
She was a grown woman and deserved a little fun without having to worry about what the future held. Without having to over-analyze every aspect of their relationship.
“Tell me what smells so good,” she encouraged, hoping he’d let her change the subject, hoping she really could focus on just having a good time rather than on worrying about her heart getting broken again. “What did you do? Pack a picnic basket full of goodies in the hope of buttering me up?”
She smiled at him. A real smile because he was so beautiful how could her smile not be real when he was with her, wanted to be with her, even if only for a short while?
“Exactly.” His smile was breathtaking, just as he was, and she struggled to breathe normally. “Is it working?”
“For the record, you don’t need to butter me up.” Now, why was she telling him that? “I’m already yours for the taking.”
And she certainly shouldn’t have told him that.
“Even if I text you cancellations?” he teased, opening his truck door, but waiting on her answer prior to getting out of the vehicle.
“I prefer actual calls.” Her fingers toyed on the passenger-door latch. “But there are extenuating circumstances. I understand that.”
“You probably shouldn’t be telling me this.”
Yeah, she’d just told herself that, but asked, “Why not?”
He nodded to where the sun had begun to sink in the sky, where the sky was streaked with reds, purples, pink and blues and every shade in between. To where the glassy lake reflected all the beauty of the early stages of the evening’s sunset.
“Because we’re here.”
Madison wasn’t sure she understood what that had to do with her admitting to being under his spell, but she climbed out of the truck and helped him grab items from the back of the SUV. A thick fuzzy blanket, a basket, a small cooler.
Loaded down with the blanket and a pillow, Madison followed Levi, his arms full, toward the lake.
“Who owns this place, anyway?”
“I do.”
He owned this beautiful, peaceful paradise?
“I inherited the land after my grandfather died. There’s a small lake house. I’ve done some work on it, but someday I’m going to build a permanent house here.” He gestured to the area where they were.
“And go fishing every day?” she teased, feeling as if he was sharing something with her that he didn’t typically share. Which was foolish. For all she knew, he’d brought dozens of women to this exact spot. Packed dozens of picnics.
“Among other things.” He turned, grinned, as if to confirm her thoughts.
She met his gaze head on, grinned back. “Like have late-evening picnics?”
“Maybe.” He shrugged. “Then again, late-evening picnics might just make me think of you.”
Which implied that she wouldn’t be here with him for those future picnics. Disappointment washed over her, but she quickly ignored it. How could she fault him for being honest?
“Would that be so bad?” Squeezing the soft blanket and pillow to her chest, she took a step toward him. “If late-night picnics made you think of me?”
“Guess that all depends.” He set his armload of supplies down on the ground and reached for the blanket.
“On?” She put the pillow between her knees and helped spread the dark navy blanket over a plush, grassy spot.
Taking the full-sized pillow from her, he tossed it to one corner. “On how this all ends. I don’t want to hurt you.”
She bit the inside of her lower lip. “I don’t want you to hurt me either.”
“Good, then we’re agreed.” His tone lightened, although she was positive it was a forced lightness. “Let’s get this spread out so we can eat. I hope you’re hungry.”
“Starved.” But she wasn’t so sure that she was talking about food.
The meal was delicious, the company more so.
The setting was romantic, the company more so.
More relaxed than she would have believed possible a mere thirty minutes earlier, Madison popped another fresh raspberry with a dab of whipped cream on it into her mouth. “Yum. Those are so good.”
“Glad you’re enjoying them.” His gaze never left her lips. “I started to get strawberries, but decided that was too predictable.”
“Strawberries are good, but these are an unexpected treat.” She closed her lips around another berry, savoring the fruit. They’d finished eating the finger foods he’d packed, had drunk a couple of glasses of wine from the bottle he’d had chilling in the cooler. Now they lay back, staring out over the lake, watching the final stages of the sun disappearing while they ate berries.
Well, Madison had been staring out at the lake. She wasn’t sure Levi had. And from the moment she’d realized he was watching her mouth rather than the water, she’d given up any pretence of anything having her attention except him.
He looked at her like he wanted to dab her in whipped cream and sink his teeth into her. Oh, my.
“Being here with you is an unexpected treat.” His voice was soft, raspy, his words a melody to her ears. “I’d thought I’d be stuck at that committee meeting all evening. I’m glad you gave me an excuse to head out early.”
“Thanks.” Had that been her voice? She sounded pretty raspy herself. Like she was getting a cold. Oh, my, oh, my! She cleared her throat. “I’m glad you asked me to help.”
He took her hand in his, stared at their interlocked fingers a few moments. “I’ve been thinking about the grand opening gala, Madison. I’d really like you to go with me.”
The grand opening gala that was four weeks away? The grand opening that was a glitzy semi-formal affair where lots of well-do-to folks would be showing off their poshest outfits and finery? Wow. Unless…“To help?”
He lifted her hand to his mouth, pressed a kiss to her fingers. “To be my date.”
Shivers ran up and down her spine, zapping every which way and bumping into one another, making her head spin.
“Oh.” She willed the emotion welling in her chest not to be love. “Of course I’ll go with you, Levi. As your date.”
With an odd look in his eyes, he dipped another raspberry in the whipped cream and offered the fruit to her.
Feeling very self-aware, Madison opened her mouth, accepting the berry. The combination of the tangy fruit and the sweet cream toying with her senses, she closed her eyes, savoring each delicious drop. Savoring that Levi had just made plans with her four weeks on. Savoring that she was here with him, on a blanket under the beautiful North Carolina sky with no one around except Mother Nature.
“Good?”
“Mmm-hmm,” she answered, opening her eyes and taking in the sound of the cicadas and an occasional frog providing background music to their romantic evening. And right down to the citronella candles he’d set up a few feet away from the corners of their blanket, it was romantic. Maybe it was only her foolish heart, but Levi screamed romance. “This is nice.”
And her voice was croaking worse and worse. Maybe she should just be quiet before she started ribbeting.
“You’ve really got to stop using that word in relation to me, Madison.” His face pulled into a slight scowl, which might have bothered her except his eyes weren’t scowling. They were mesmerizing in the flickering candlelight. More bea
utiful than the sunset. Darker than the night.
“What word?” Ribbet. Madison winced at her hoarseness, barely recognizing her own voice.
“Nice.” His gaze dropped to her mouth again. “I’m not nice.”
She blinked, feigning innocence, fighting the urge to lick her lips in case she had whipped cream on them. Maybe that was why he kept staring so delectably at her mouth. “You’re not nice?”
“Hell, no.” To prove his point, he pulled her to him and placed his lips over hers. Apparently, if she’d had whipped cream on her, he planned to lick her clean.
He tasted of berries and wine and something exotically more intoxicating: him. She wanted to drink in every last drop. To drown in the flavor, in him.
He’d kissed her before, but this felt different. This felt more intense, more real, more needy, more.
She sipped his lips, matched the dance of his tongue, moaned when he pushed her back on the blanket and covered her body with his.
“Levi,” she breathed. Ribbet. Ribbet.
He didn’t answer with words, just supped on her mouth, threaded his fingers into her hair, shifted his body against hers until he pressed between her thighs. Until she moaned at the rhythm of their bodies moving against one another.
He trailed kisses down her throat, over her clavicle, pressing his tongue into every dip. She curled her fingers into his hair, his shoulders, down his back.
“Madison.” Her name was like music on his breath. A soft melody meant to entice, meant to seduce, meant to charm her into dancing to his tune.
Dance she did.
Beneath him, welcoming his weight, welcoming his touch, welcoming the increasing fervor of his body.
“I want you.”
She’d noticed that. How could she miss the evidence of his want pressing against her? How could she miss the urgency of his mouth skimming over her neck, her breasts?
When had he stripped her of her scrub top? Pushed aside her bra? When didn’t matter. Only that he had. Only that his mouth now did the most amazing things to her body, triggered the most titillating zings that zeroed in at the apex of her thighs and spread outward in magical waves.
She ran her fingers beneath the soft cotton of his T-shirt, skimmed the smooth skin covering his back, dug into the bunched muscles as her belly clenched with pleasure.
“Levi.” Oh, Levi. She arched, wanting to be closer and closer to him, wanting more and more of her body to be drawn into the hot recess of his mouth.
Sensing her need, he lowered his mouth to her most intimate place and gave her what she wanted. She cried out, intense waves washing over her.
His look was so smug, so masculine, so arrogant in his abilities that Madison wanted to wield the same power over his body as he did over hers. She tugged on his T-shirt but only managed to pull the cotton over his head with his assistance.
“What are you doing, Madison?” he growled, staring down into her eyes.
“I want to feel you next to me, to touch you, too.” She wrapped her arms around his naked torso and pulled him back down to her, skin to skin. Her naked breasts were crushed against his muscled chest. She inhaled a sharp breath. Or maybe it was him. She couldn’t be sure. Just that the friction of their bodies together was electrifying. Wonderful. Amazing. Unbelievable.
Not nearly enough.
She wiggled her hips beneath his, wanting the same freedom with the lower half of her body. She managed to slip her fingers between them, grasp at the snap of his jeans, fumbled with his zipper.
“You should probably stop.”
If she hadn’t seen him speak, hadn’t felt the vibration of his words in his chest, she wouldn’t have known it was him who spoke. Never had she heard his voice so raspy, so strangled.
Never had she heard a sweeter sound than him affected by her touch.
Easing his zipper down, she pressed a kiss to his throat. “Why should I stop?”
“Because you’re making me lose what little control I have left,” he ground out.
Feminine power surged within her. This was Levi. Her dream guy. The guy she’d fantasized about for weeks and weeks. Had set her sights on as a playgirl, perhaps because that was the only way she could justify to her heart that she wanted him. And he was here, with her, had given her the most romantic evening of her life, was excited by her touch, and he wanted her. Really, really wanted her, judging by the hardness pressing against her hand.
And just like that she knew she didn’t want to stop.
That she didn’t want this night to end. Ever.
Not because she was a playgirl. She wasn’t. But because she was Madison Swanson, a woman who wanted a man more than she wanted her next breath. This man. Only him.
“I don’t want your control,” she admitted, sliding her fingers beneath the gap she’d created with his open zipper.
Sucking in air, he shifted to give her better access and she took full advantage, causing him to groan.
“What do you want?” he bit out hoarsely.
What she’d wanted from the first moment she’d met him. From the first moment she’d seen him in that patient room.
“You, Levi,” she admitted. “I want you.” With all her heart and all her might and all that she was. “I want you, always and for ever.”
CHAPTER TEN
MADISON might have been on a sexual power trip during their love-making, but afterwards she just felt awkward. Horribly awkward.
He’d not said a word to her since he’d cried out her name and lost himself inside her.
Which was the real problem, wasn’t it?
They’d completely lost their minds, lost themselves in each other, in passion. At least, she had, and assumed Levi had, too.
Oh, who was she kidding? She knew he had lost his mind, too. No doubt about it. Levi had been as caught up in the moment as she had. Surprising, yes, but he had been totally enraptured with her body, with being inside her, with giving her pleasure, in taking his own.
“Had been” being the key words.
“Are you on the Pill?” Levi’s tone was stressed. Tension poured off him from the other side of the blanket.
She stole a glance at him in the pale sliver of moonlight, the flicker of the candles casting an eerie look about his face. His face was pinched as he pulled his jeans on. He didn’t even look at her. Made a point not to accidentally bump against her while dressing.
Anger surged through her. Anger and hurt.
How dared he act like she was a leper?
What had happened to his whispered words of praise as he’d pulled her scrub top off? When he’d slipped his hands inside her pants, he’d been looking at her all right. Deep into her eyes, breathing hard, telling her how good she felt, how much he wanted her, how he couldn’t wait to push himself inside her.
Ha, where was that want now? He looked like he was ready to put on his shoes and run as far away as he could get.
He was putting on his shoes. Literally.
Great. Well, she’d wondered what would happen if they had sex. Now she knew.
Trying to contain the ache spreading through her chest, she shook her head. “No, I’m not on the Pill or any other kind of birth control. I’ve had no reason to be and didn’t want to unnecessarily put hormones into my body. I assumed when I became sexually active again my partner would wear protection.”
She hadn’t meant her words to sound so accusatory, but they did come out that way. Then again, he was acting as if this was all her fault.
His sigh reverberated through her despite the fact they no longer touched. No, he’d rolled over, put his clothes back on, and now lay next to her, fully dressed, staring up at the star-dotted sky as if the weight of the world weighed on him.
“Where are you in your cycle?” He sounded clinical, as the doctor he was, as if he spoke to an irresponsible teenager.
Hello, he’d been right there with her. Which didn’t lessen her blame, didn’t lessen that she’d lost her head and had had unprotected sex.
Not smart. Not smart at all.
Madison cringed. Inwardly. Outwardly. Cringed.
Could the magic from moments before have sunk to lower depths than discussing her menstrual cycle?
The timing wasn’t great, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. She cringed again, feeling a little nauseous. Oh, please don’t let the odds be against her. Pregnancy by a man who’d just been a player playing would be a nightmare.
Even if she had stronger feelings for him, he’d played her body and heart like a fiddler playing his instrument.
Pregnancy would be a twist he hadn’t counted on. A twist neither of them had been counting on.
A twist that as a player she’d have expected him to have been on top of. How often did he have unprotected sex? Surely as a doctor he knew better. Surely as a nurse she knew better.
Yet neither of them had stopped, had even hesitated when he’d thrust inside her. No, she certainly hadn’t been hesitating. She’d been welcoming him, wanting him deeper and deeper, grabbing his hips and pulling him as far into her as he’d go.
“I’m fine,” she lied. Feeling cold despite the warm night air, she sat up and reached for her scrub top, wanting to quickly pull it over her head and hide her nakedness. She didn’t even know where her bra was.
How could she have been so stupid? How could he?
He grasped her hand. “But if anything comes of this, we’ll deal with it together.”
Deal with it together? What was that supposed to mean?
If he thought…
Another burst of anger and hurt whipping through her, she pulled her hand free. “Nothing will come of it.”
God, she hoped nothing came of it. No way did she want a baby. Not really. Certainly not under these circumstances.
He sighed. “I don’t do this, you know.”
No, she didn’t know anything. Nothing except what should have been a beautiful moment had turned into something ugly and humiliating. “Do what?”
His lips compressed into a fine line. “Have unprotected sex.”
Sex. Not making love, but sex.
“That’s good to know.” She kept her voice light, almost flippant as she pulled her top over her head. She wasn’t sure if she felt more relief that he wasn’t in the habit of sleeping around without protection or disappointment that he’d relegated her into the category of sex. What had she expected? Claims of undying love? Yeah, right.
