by Teagan Kade
Yeah, no thanks.
I turn around, away from the exhibition at the bar, and finish my meal with the Jana and Carla. I’m a grown ass woman with a grown ass career, the last thing I’m interested in being sweet-talked by some Mountain Town Lothario.
Hard pass.
I might have made some stupid decisions at work that landed me here, but there’s a big difference between impulsive and reckless.
CHAPTER TWO
DERIC
“Where is my hand supposed to go? Tom, I’m scared!” The woman’s voice is starting to waver with that familiar edge of panic.
“It’s okay, you’re okay, I promise!” her husband calls down to her, glancing to me for help.
“You’re not going anywhere, Gabbi. I’m belaying you, and if I have to, I can pull you all the way up here, okay?” I call down to her, but at this point I’m not sure she’s listening.
“No! I have to do this!” she argues, even though she doesn’t sound entirely convinced.
“That’s right. You can do this, sweetie!” Tom shouts down to her, ruffling his hands through his hair, looking nervous.
She reaches up and grabs at a spot but there’s loose gravel and it falls onto her. “I don’t like this, Tom. I don’t like it at all! I’m going to die here and I haven’t even seen our wedding pictures!”
She’s in no danger whatsoever, of course. I’ve got her ropes in my hand and if there is one thing I know how to do and do well, it’s this. Besides, this is a toddler of a climb for the gorge.
Still, I work to assure her. “Gabbi, just breathe and focus on the next step. One at a time, just one at a time. You can do this, girl. You got this.”
‘Just breathe’… How many times did you hear that growing up?
I can hear her panting. She’s already past the halfway point. There isn’t much farther for her to go, but she’s shaken. Tom steps in and starts reassuring her, reminding her of some funny story from their wedding.
“You’re going to be fine, sweetie. Let’s just finish this and we can go back to the cabin. We’ll get out of these clothes and into bed and I might even wear that outfit you want, or we can pull out the vibrating rin—”
“Tom!” she screeches, suddenly not so nervous. I chuckle to myself as he looks at me apologetically, but I shrug it off. If I wasn’t holding his wife’s life in my hands, I’d high five him.
Lucky son of a bitch. Must be nice to be getting kinky on the regular. Not that I can’t drum up some tail when I want it, but one-night-stand sex tends to be pretty basic. My tastes are slightly more… particular.
“Alright, Gabbi. I want you to reach your hand up again and feel around. There’s a little ledge there. Do you feel it? Good, yes, you’ve got it. Now, don’t pull yourself up to it. I want you to extend your left leg and feel for a spot to brace your leg, test it before you put your weight down, and once you know it’s good, I want you to push yourself up with your legs instead of pulling with your arms.”
She’s looking shaky but she follows my instructions and does it. Handhold by handhold I guide her up to us. When her face finally pops up over the edge, Tom grabs her hands and pulls her up the rest of the way until she collapses onto him.
She’s panting from the exertion and her hands suddenly start shaking. All the adrenaline is making itself known now as tears start streaking her face. “I was so scared. I… thought… I was… going to fall and—” Her words are broken as her breath comes uneven and Tom cradles her, rubbing her back.
“I’m know, sweetie, I know. I got you, shhhhh.” He’s reassuring her. “I love you so much, you know that?”
It’s kind of sweet, watching them while I pull the ropes up the rest of the way and coil everything to fit into my pack for the hike back. It’s sweet until his soft murmurs of reassurance turn into some heavy making out, then it just gets uncomfortable.
I clear my throat but they’re not listening. “I’m just gonna go take in the view, be back in a bit, guys, if you want to hang tight.”
I’m not one to cock-block because you never know when that karma could bite you in the ass, so I walk a few yards away and around a boulder, try to make a to-do about pulling out a snack and taking a few snaps of the view while they get their grind on.
I can hear her panting. God only knows what they’re doing, but whatever it is I’m sure it violates some public indecency law somewhere. But shit, they’re newlyweds. What’s the point of a honeymoon if you can’t fuck around the clock? Not that I’ll ever find out what that’s like.
Nope, a copious amount of no-strings sex is all I need. I mean, sure, maybe there are times where it’d be nice to have the other part of that too, the part where you’ve got someone to go home to at the end of the day, someone to share it all with. But I’m not some chick. I can be perfectly happy just bumpin’ uglies.
Yep, completely, entirely happy.
I lean against the boulder and try to figure out if I’ll have time tonight after I go hang with Ava and Dean to pop over to Gracie’s, see if there’s not some ass for the plucking. Who am I kidding? There’s always time for that. Hell, the way these two are going at it, getting my juices flowing, I might need to go hunting for some tail before I go meet Ava and Dean. Shit, I might just cancel altogether. I’m not a creep or anything, but there’s nowhere else to go since I can’t really leave them out here, so I might as well enjoy the sound effects coming from the other side of this hunk of rock.
Damn, Gabbi is a screamer. It’s fucking hot.
Wait… her last scream pierces through the haze of arousal I’m laboring behind and I realize it’s not the kind of scream I thought it was.
Shit.
I run around to see Gabbi cowering behind a frozen Tom while a juvenile black bear postures a hundred yards away.
“Hey! Shoo! Go on, bud, get out of here!” I start yelling, throwing rocks, sticks, whatever fits in my hand. It doesn’t take long before the bear backs off and lumbers back into the brush.
I turn around to see Tom holding Gabbi, her shirt conspicuously unbuttoned and both their zippers down.
“You guys okay?” I ask, even though the bear wasn’t all that close and definitely wasn’t looking to engage. It probably just came to check out the ruckus these two fuckbunnies were making and found them. Still, most people haven’t encountered wildlife like that.
“Yeah… you saved our lives.” Tom is still pretty much frozen, the shock wiping all expression from his face.
“Nah, he wasn’t gonna get any closer than that. He just wanted you to know not to fuck with him. But let’s say we get moving, huh?” I nod to their clothes and see Gabbi blush.
“Oh. Right. Yes. Okay, just a sec…” Tom answers, turning away to zip up.
Gabbi’s already pulled her shirt back into place and closed it up. “I was worried maybe I had a tick,” she says, chin up and daring me to argue.
“Totally,” I nod, and smother my smile.
We head back down the trail. The rest of the hike is pretty uneventful. By the time we’ve gotten to the trailhead and reached my truck, they’re back to being the handsy, moon-eyed newlyweds I headed out with this morning, stealing a grope here and there when they think I can’t see.
We get back to the office for our guide service at the Den and they thank me for their ‘near death,’ ‘once-in-a-lifetime’ adventure. I wave them out and watch as they climb into their little rented Kia and head back to their cabin for some marathon sex, no doubt. Then again, what do I know about what couples get up to behind closed doors?
“What has you lookin’ all sappy?” Dex says, tying a kayak on his roof. He turns and grins at the receding car. “Those the hornballs?”
“Yeah, how’d you know?” I head over and help him finish tying the ropes off.
He shrugs, coming around the side of his wrangler. “Dean said when he got here to open up they looked like they were ready to nail each other against the door while they were waiting for you.”
I no
d. I probably should have been there to greet my clients, but I decided to head out for a sunrise free climb before the amateur tour. Everyone thinks I’m a lazy sack who sleeps in and I let them think that because it’s easier than telling them I’m out climbing without ropes or a climbing buddy. But that’s how I like it—just me, the mountain air, and a rock to climb. I don’t need to justify that to anyone.
“Yeah, they were about to do that very thing actually after they finished the climb. Made for a pretty good listen until the bear showed up.” I walk back with him into the Den and hang up my harness and pack.
He turns around with a concerned expression. “Again? Shit, what is that now? Three sightings this month.” He scratches his head as I recline on the couch.
“Sounds right. None of them have been particularly threatening, though,” I answer.
Dex sits down at the computer and starts going through emails. “Still, it’s not good. It takes one person to get hurt and our insurance is going to sky rocket, not to mention our reputation… What the hell is going on?”
I shrug. “Beats me. I’ll mention it to Jasper, though. I have to go up to the Ranger Station in Beaver Creek tomorrow for climb permits for next month. I know they’ve had some weird shit going on. It stopped for a while after Dean and Ava’s little escapade. I thought it was just a one-off, but I don’t know what the deal is now.”
Dex isn’t looking at me, “Yeah, okay. Deric, what the fuck?” he looks up at me angrily.
“What?”
His nostrils flare and his face pubes start twitching. “Why the hell is fucking WEST Corp. emailing you?”
“Hey, calm down, dude. That man-gina on your face is gettin' all trembly.” He doesn’t laugh, so I roll my eyes. “It’s not a big deal, man. I told you they just wanted to talk about investing in an expansion. I’ve been chatting with them, some low-key spit-balling. It’s not anything serious right now, but it’s something we should consider eventually.”
He stands up and flings a power bar from the basket on the desk at me. “You don’t get to make decisions for all of us. This is a partnership, asshole, and it’s not just about the fucking money!” He’s not really raising his voice—he never really does, but for Dex, this is as close as it gets. He’s a seether, not a screamer.
I sigh, looking heavenward for some kind of salvation from his tantrum. “This aggression will not stand, man.” I say, quoting the penultimate of cool — El Duderino.
“It’s all just a big goddamned joke, isn’t it?” he glares at me. “Just one big fucking game until we lose everything.”
I knew he’d react like this. I knew it, but it still pisses me off. Dex and his damned hang-ups. Very few things actually get under my skin, but this? This is one of them. “Yeah, I’m just screwing around here, ’cause I have no investment in this company at all. It’s just you, right? You’re the only one who takes anything seriously? Dean’s a fucktard for dating my sister and causing drama and I’m the asshole for thinking about taking a chance and expanding, but you, Mr. Fucking Paranoid, you’re the only one who cares. Is that it? Pull your head out of your puckered-up asshole, will you? I’m trying to look out for the business, for all of us, you dumbass! You know, if you wanted to be the fuckin’ uni-bomber or something, there are plenty of cabins you could run off to, Mr. Hermit in the fucking woods.”
“Screw you.” He says it quietly and sets his jaw, turning away from me and walking towards the backroom. But not before he stops and gets in one more dig. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe nobody needs or wants you looking out for them?”
My jaw twitches. My fists ball up. He’s pissed and so am I. Anger isn’t an emotion I have to deal with often and it’s certainly not one I deal with well.
The fuck does Dex know about whether I’m needed?
I need to get out of here before I make a mess of his face, so I head over to Dean and Ava’s. About the only thing that’ll shake this pissed-off mood is hanging with my baby niece. Hard to be pissed when you’re cradling the human equivalent of a marshmallow.
Except, when I pull up outside their house I see them inside through the front window and freeze. It’s a simple thing—Dean’s walking by the window holding baby Talisa against his shoulder, probably burping her or something. I can practically smell the baby puke from here.
I’m not angry anymore, no, but something strangles my throat and I can’t name it. What I do know is I don’t feel like watching another happy couple tonight.
They’re all content and cozy in there. They don’t need me bringing my crap in, shaking up their little bubble. I text Dean, tell him I can’t make it, and head back to my empty house.
I consider Gracie’s, but I’m not fit company for anyone except myself. The furniture is sparse and some of my stuff is still in boxes even though I’ve been here three months. I put a lot of effort into building the place, but making it a home is a different story. It looks about as soulless as I’m feeling.
I jump in the shower and flop naked onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling fan, letting it mesmerize me.
It’s fine. It’s fucking fine. No one needs me? Great. I don’t need anyone else either.
Maybe I should think about getting a dog.
CHAPTER THREE
EDIE
“Alright, Miss Muffet, wish me luck.” I peer into the terrarium, but I don’t see my reclusive little pet. For a second I remember the look on Pop’s face when I came home the proud owner of a pet tarantula. It was worth every accidental bite I got when I first learned how to handle her, and there were more than a few of those, but that’s what happens when you’re sixteen, afraid of spiders, and have one for a pet. Fear is for the weak and I’m not weak.
It’s been ten years now and Miss Muffet and I’ve got our routine pretty set, which generally implies keeping a respectful distance. We’re neither of us the cuddly sort.
I glance in the mirror as an afterthought, slip on my work cap, and tuck my hair back behind my ears. I don’t have to wear the usual field uniform or business attire out here, just comfortable, outdoor-suitable clothes, which is actually a nice change.
I grab my keys and head out to the detached garage to climb into my shiny new gray work truck with the US Fish and Wildlife logo painted on the side. It’s brand new, dropped off at my house yesterday by Ken, my new supervisor. The regional office is an hour and a half away, so this will essentially be my field office while I’m out here. I’m not thrilled to be out here in backwater, USA where the local pie-eating contest makes front page news, but not having to deal with the usual politics and bullshit that come with working in a busy office is kind of nice.
I start her up, get my GPS configured, and log into the computer mounted beside me.
Active Case Queue: 0 Entries
“Well, this is going to be a great frackin’ day, huh?” I grumble aloud.
Then again, I didn’t really expect there to be anything to go on, considering my coverage area is mostly uninhabited no-man’s land and there hasn’t been anyone working the area in at least six years or more.
Besides, I’m used to drumming up my own work. No one ever wanted to give me the good assignments or leads back in the San Francisco office, but I like to think it’s made me better at sniffing out cases.
I crack my knuckles and start deciding my course of action. I enter the coordinates for the local Park Ranger station into the GPS since Mt. Halbbitter and a small portion of wilderness around it are part of a State Park. No better time to start networking, especially since I don’t have much in the way of coworkers out here.
It’s forty minutes out from my place and the drive is actually pretty scenic. I remember what Johnny said about it being beautiful country. He wasn’t wrong, but I’m certainly not about to admit that to him. I roll the windows down and put on Elle King, trying to take that ‘breather’ he mentioned.
The lyrics talk about a mean world the singer knows, how you’ll find her where the devil don’t go. They feel so
damn fitting as the forest seems to close in, above and around me. It’s pretty, but it’s still purgatory.
Growing up on the East Coast, the forests out here feel so much bigger, taller, and darker, like they know what a thousand years looks like and you’re only a flash on the radar. I feel a little lost and a lot small, like I’ve wandered into the realm of a giant.
By the time I’ve arrived at the Ranger’s office, I have a thrum of anxious excitement coursing through me.
It’s a small A-frame style cabin, looks like it’s been around for forever. I jog up the steps and pop inside, a tinkling bell ringing as I close the door. The interior isn’t exactly modern either, but it’s cozy. I take off my F&W cap, smoothing my hat hair and smile at the receptionist, a perky redhead with a sunny smile.
“Good morning,” I cross the creaking floorboards, “my name is Special Agent Edie Ness with US Fish and Wildlife. I just got assigned to the area and wanted to come over and introduce myself.” I reach over the desk and offer my hand.
She takes it and looks down a narrow hallway. “So nice to meet you. I’m Lexi. We’ve all been wonderin’ when you were gonna come by. Heard you were getting transferred up here a month ago, and I know Jasper has been looking forward to having you out here. The troopers don’t have an office very close by, and, between you and me, I think they’re a little scared of Hell’s Bitters. That’s what us locals call the mountain rec area, you know, on account of it being so dangerous and people goin’ missing so often.
“Anyhow, we end up coverin’ a lot more than we ought to,” she’s prattling on almost faster than I can track, still aggressively shaking my hand when a throat clears and I look back towards the hallway. “Oh hey, Jasper, I was just about to come tell you the F&W gal was here.”
“How do you do.” He steps forward with a kind smile and shakes my hand. “I’m Jasper Bennet. I head up the office. Why don’t you come on back to my office and we can chat?” I nod and follow him down the hall.
The space is small and cluttered with stacks and stacks of papers, no computer monitor anywhere in sight.
