‘Of course I go round more now,’ she concluded. ‘I mean to see my friends – I don’t care what he says.’
‘What can he say?’
‘Oh, he despises Americans – they all do.’
‘Well, I guess we can still sit up and take nourishment.’
They laughed and slipped back to talking of earlier things. She urged him to put off his sailing – there were so many things they might do together: sight-seeing and excursions – and she could perhaps show him some of the private collections he hadn’t seen, the ones it was hard to get admitted to. This instantly roused his attention, and after naming one or two collections he had already seen she hit on one he had found inaccessible and was particularly anxious to visit. ‘There’s an Ingres there that’s one of the things I came over to have a look at; but I was told there was no use trying.’
‘Oh, I can easily manage it: the Duke’s Raymond’s uncle.’ It gave her a peculiar satisfaction to say it: she felt as though she were taking a surreptitious revenge on her husband. ‘But he’s down in the country this week,’ she continued, ‘and no one – not even the family – is allowed to see the pictures when he’s away. Of course his Ingres are the finest in France.’
She ran it off glibly, though a year ago she had never heard of the painter, and did not, even now, remember whether he was an Old Master or one of the very new ones whose names one hadn’t had time to learn.
Moffatt put off sailing, saw the Duke’s Ingres under her guidance, and accompanied her to various other private galleries inaccessible to strangers. She had lived in almost total ignorance of such opportunities, but now that she could use them to advantage she showed a surprising quickness in picking up ‘tips’, ferreting out rare things and getting a sight of hidden treasures. She even acquired as much of the jargon as a pretty woman needs to produce the impression of being well-informed; and Moffatt’s sailing was more than once postponed.
They saw each other almost daily, for she continued to come and go as she pleased, and Raymond showed neither surprise nor disapproval. When they were asked to family dinners she usually excused herself at the last moment on the plea of a headache and, calling up Indiana or Bertha Shallum, improvised a little party at the Nouveau Luxe; and on other occasions she accepted such invitations as she chose, without mentioning to her husband where she was going.
In this world of lavish pleasures she lost what little prudence the discipline of Saint Désert had inculcated. She could never be with people who had all the things she envied without being hypnotized into the belief that she had only to put her hand out to obtain them, and all the unassuaged rancours and hungers of her early days in West End Avenue came back with increased acuity. She knew her wants so much better now, and was so much more worthy of the things she wanted!
She had given up hoping that her father might make another hit in Wall Street. Mrs Spragg’s letters gave the impression that the days of big strokes were over for her husband, that he had gone down in the conflict with forces beyond his measure. If he had remained in Apex the tide of its new prosperity might have carried him to wealth; but New York’s huge waves of success had submerged instead of floating him, and Rolliver’s enmity was a hand perpetually stretched out to strike him lower. At most, Mr Spragg’s tenacity would keep him at the level he now held, and though he and his wife had still further simplified their way of living Undine understood that their self-denial would not increase her opportunities. She felt no compunction in continuing to accept an undiminished allowance: it was the hereditary habit of the parent animal to despoil himself for his progeny. But this conviction did not seem incompatible with a sentimental pity for her parents. Aside from interested motives, she wished for their own sakes that they were better off. Their personal requirements were pathetically limited, but renewed prosperity would at least have procured them the happiness of giving her what she wanted.
Moffatt lingered on; but he began to speak more definitely of sailing, and Undine foresaw the day when, strong as her attraction was, stronger influences would snap it like a thread. She knew she interested and amused him, and that it flattered his vanity to be seen with her, and to hear that rumour coupled their names; but he gave her, more than any one she had ever known, the sense of being detached from his life, in control of it, and able, without weakness or uncertainty, to choose which of its calls he should obey. If the call were that of business – of any of the great perilous affairs he handled like a snake-charmer spinning the deadly reptiles about his head – she knew she would drop from his life like a loosened leaf.
These anxieties sharpened the intensity of her enjoyment, and made the contrast keener between her crowded sparkling hours and the vacant months at Saint Désert. Little as she understood of the qualities that made Moffatt what he was, the results were of the kind most palpable to her. He used life exactly as she would have used it in his place. Some of his enjoyments were beyond her range, but even these appealed to her because of the money that was required to gratify them. When she took him to see some inaccessible picture, or went with him to inspect the treasures of a famous dealer, she saw that the things he looked at moved him in a way she could not understand, and that the actual touching of rare textures – bronze or marble, or velvets flushed with the bloom of age – gave him sensations like those her own beauty had once roused in him. But the next moment he was laughing over some commonplace joke, or absorbed in a long cipher cable handed to him as they re-entered the Nouveau Luxe for tea, and his aesthetic emotions had been thrust back into their own compartment of the great steel strong-box of his mind.
Her new life went on without comment or interference from her husband, and she saw that he had accepted their altered relation, and intended merely to keep up an external semblance of harmony. To that semblance she knew he attached intense importance: it was an article of his complicated social creed that a man of his class should appear to live on good terms with his wife. For different reasons it was scarcely less important to Undine: she had no wish to affront again the social reprobation that had so nearly wrecked her. But she could not keep up the life she was leading without more money, a great deal more money; and the thought of contracting her expenditure was no longer tolerable.
One afternoon, several weeks later, she came in to find a tradesman’s representative waiting with a bill. There was a noisy scene in the ante-room before the man threateningly withdrew – a scene witnessed by the servants, and overheard by her mother-in-law, whom she found seated in the drawing-room when she entered.
The old Marquise’s visits to her daughter-in-law were made at long intervals but with ritual regularity; she called every other Friday at five, and Undine had forgotten that she was due that day. This did not make for greater cordiality between them, and the altercation in the ante-room had been too loud for concealment. The Marquise was on her feet when her daughter-in-law came in, and instantly said with lowered eyes: ‘It would perhaps be best for me to go.’
‘Oh, I don’t care. You’re welcome to tell Raymond you’ve heard me insulted because I’m too poor to pay my bills – he knows it well enough already!’ The words broke from Undine unguardedly, but once spoken they nourished her defiance.
‘I’m sure my son has frequently recommended greater prudence –’ the Marquise murmured.
‘Yes! It’s a pity he didn’t recommend it to your other son instead! All the money I was entitled to has gone to pay Hubert’s debts.’
‘Raymond has told me that there are certain things you fail to understand – I have no wish whatever to discuss them.’ The Marquise had gone toward the door; with her hand on it she paused to add: ‘I shall say nothing whatever of what has happened.’
Her icy magnanimity added the last touch to Undine’s wrath. They knew her extremity, one and all, and it did not move them. At most, they would join in concealing it like a blot on their honour. And the menace grew and mounted, and not a hand was stretched to help her …
Hardly a half-ho
ur earlier Moffatt, with whom she had been visiting a ‘private view’, had sent her home in his motor with the excuse that he must hurry back to the Nouveau Luxe to meet his stenographer and sign a batch of letters for the New York mail. It was therefore probable that he was still at home – that she should find him if she hastened there at once. An overwhelming desire to cry out her wrath and wretchedness brought her to her feet and sent her down to hail a passing cab. As it whirled her through the bright streets powdered with amber sunlight her brain throbbed with confused intentions. She did not think of Moffatt as a power she could use, but simply as some one who knew her and understood her grievance. It was essential to her at that moment to be told that she was right and that every one opposed to her was wrong.
At the hotel she asked his number and was carried up in the lift. On the landing she paused a moment, disconcerted – it had occurred to her that he might not be alone. But she walked on quickly, found the number and knocked … Moffatt opened the door, and she glanced beyond him and saw that the big bright sitting-room was empty.
‘Hullo!’ he exclaimed, surprised; and as he stood aside to let her enter she saw him draw out his watch and glance at it surreptitiously. He was expecting some one, or he had an engagement elsewhere – something claimed him from which she was excluded. The thought flushed her with sudden resolution. She knew now what she had come for – to keep him from every one else, to keep him for herself alone.
‘Don’t send me away!’ she said, and laid her hand on his beseechingly.
XLV
SHE ADVANCED into the room and slowly looked about her. The big vulgar writing-table wreathed in bronze was heaped with letters and papers. Among them stood a lapis bowl in a Renaissance mounting of enamel and a vase of Phoenician glass that was like a bit of rainbow caught in cobwebs. On a table against the window a little Greek marble lifted its pure lines. On every side some rare and sensitive object seemed to be shrinking back from the false colours and crude contours of the hotel furniture. There were no books in the room, but the florid console under the mirror was stacked with old numbers of Town Talk and the New York Radiator. Undine recalled the dingy hall-room that Moffatt had lodged in at Mrs Flynn’s, over Hober’s livery stable, and her heart beat at the signs of his altered state. When her eyes came back to him their lids were moist.
‘Don’t send me away,’ she repeated. He looked at her and smiled. ‘What is it? What’s the matter?’
‘I don’t know – but I had to come. Today, when you spoke again of sailing, I felt as if I couldn’t stand it.’ She lifted her eyes and looked in his profoundly.
He reddened a little under her gaze, but she could detect no softening or confusion in the shrewd steady glance he gave her back.
‘Things going wrong again – is that the trouble?’ he merely asked with a comforting inflexion.
‘They always are wrong; it’s all been an awful mistake. But I shouldn’t care if you were here and I could see you sometimes. You’re so strong: that’s what I feel about you, Elmer. I was the only one to feel it that time they all turned against you out at Apex … Do you remember the afternoon I met you down on Main Street, and we walked out together to the Park? I knew then that you were stronger than any of them …’
She had never spoken more sincerely. For the moment all thought of self-interest was in abeyance, and she felt again, as she had felt that day, the instinctive yearning of her nature to be one with his. Something in her voice must have attested it, for she saw a change in his face.
‘You’re not the beauty you were,’ he said irrelevantly; ‘but you’re a lot more fetching.’
The oddly qualified phrase made her laugh with mingled pleasure and annoyance.
‘I suppose I must be dreadfully changed –’
‘You’re all right! – But I’ve got to go back home,’ he broke off abruptly. ‘I’ve put it off too long.’
She paled and looked away, helpless in her sudden disappointment. ‘I knew you’d say that … And I shall just be left here …’ She sat down on the sofa near which they had been standing, and two tears formed on her lashes and fell.
Moffatt sat down beside her, and both were silent. She had never seen him at a loss before. She made no attempt to draw nearer, or to use any of the arts of cajolery; but presently she said, without rising: ‘I saw you look at your watch when I came in. I suppose somebody else is waiting for you.’
‘It don’t matter.’
‘Some other woman?’
‘It don’t matter.’
‘I’ve wondered so often – but of course I’ve got no right to ask.’ She stood up slowly, understanding that he meant to let her go.
‘Just tell me one thing – did you never miss me?’
‘Oh, damnably!’ he brought out with sudden bitterness.
She came nearer, sinking her voice to a low whisper. ‘It’s the only time I ever really cared – all through!’
He had risen too, and they stood intensely gazing at each other. Moffatt’s face was fixed and grave, as she had seen it in hours she now found herself rapidly reliving.
‘I believe you did,’ he said.
‘Oh, Elmer – if I’d known – if I’d only known!’
He made no answer, and she turned away, touching with an unconscious hand the edge of the lapis bowl among his papers.
‘Elmer, if you’re going away it can’t do any harm to tell me – is there any one else?’
He gave a laugh that seemed to shake him free. ‘In that kind of way? Lord, no! Too busy!’
She came close again and laid a hand on his shoulder. ‘Then why not – why shouldn’t we –?’ She leaned her head back so that her gaze slanted up through her wet lashes. ‘I can do as I please – my husband does. They think so differently about marriage over here: it’s just a business contract. As long as a woman doesn’t make a show of herself no one cares.’ She put her other hand up, so that she held him facing her. ‘I’ve always felt, all through everything, that I belonged to you.’
Moffatt left her hands on his shoulders, but did not lift his own to clasp them. For a moment she thought she had mistaken him, and a leaden sense of shame descended on her. Then he asked: ‘You say your husband goes with other women?’
Lili Estradina’s taunt flashed through her and she seized on it. ‘People have told me so – his own relations have. I’ve never stooped to spy on him …’
‘And the women in your set – I suppose it’s taken for granted they all do the same?’
She laughed.
‘Everything fixed up for them, same as it is for the husbands, eh? Nobody meddles or makes trouble if you know the ropes?’
‘No, nobody … it’s all quite easy …’ She stopped, her faint smile checked, as his backward movement made her hands drop from his shoulders.
‘And that’s what you’re proposing to me? That you and I should do like the rest of ’em?’ His face had lost its comic roundness and grown harsh and dark, as it had when her father had taken her away from him at Opake. He turned on his heel, walked the length of the room and halted with his back to her in the embrasure of the window. There he paused a full minute, his hands in his pockets, staring out at the perpetual interweaving of motors in the luminous setting of the square. Then he turned and spoke from where he stood.
‘Look here, Undine, if I’m to have you again I don’t want to have you that way. That time out in Apex, when everybody in the place was against me, and I was down and out, you stood up to them and stuck by me. Remember that walk down Main Street? Don’t I! And the way the people glared and hurried by; and how you kept on alongside of me, talking and laughing, and looking your Sunday best. When Abner Spragg came out to Opake after us and pulled you back I was pretty sore at your deserting; but I came to see it was natural enough. You were only a spoilt girl, used to having everything you wanted; and I couldn’t give you a thing then, and the folks you’d been taught to believe in all told you I never would. Well, I did look like a back number, and n
o blame to you for thinking so. I used to say it to myself over and over again, laying awake nights and totting up my mistakes … and then there were days when the wind set another way, and I knew I’d pull it off yet, and I thought you might have held on …’ He stopped, his head a little lowered, his concentrated gaze on her flushed face. ‘Well, anyhow,’ he broke out, ‘you were my wife once, and you were my wife first – and if you want to come back you’ve got to come that way: not slink through the back way when there’s no one watching, but walk in by the front door, with your head up, and your Main Street look.’
Since the days when he had poured out to her his great fortune-building projects she had never heard him make so long a speech; and her heart, as she listened, beat with a new joy and terror. It seemed to her that the great moment of her life had come at last – the moment all her minor failures and successes had been building up with blind indefatigable hands.
‘Elmer – Elmer –’ she sobbed out.
She expected to find herself in his arms, shut in and shielded from all her troubles; but he stood his ground across the room, immovable.
‘Is it yes?’
She faltered the word after him: ‘Yes –?’
‘Are you going to marry me?’
She stared, bewildered. ‘Why, Elmer – marry you? You forget!’
‘Forget what? That you don’t want to give up what you’ve got?’
‘How can I? Such things are not done out here. Why, I’m a Catholic; and the Catholic Church –’ She broke off, reading the end in his face. ‘But later, perhaps … things might change. Oh, Elmer, if only you’d stay over here and let me see you sometimes!’
‘Yes – the way your friends see each other. We’re differently made out in Apex. When I want that sort of thing I go down to North Fifth Street for it.’
The Custom of the Country Page 41
