I will ask Gramps to take me on his much threatened shop for those girl clothes, I’d put it off for years! Gramps and his dire need for me to look like a girl, had caused many a heated debate over the years, this time I want to do it for me, I’m all grown up at last. I dressed in a flash, and headed off to class. I had been going out with Sam a whole week and boy what a week. I made it to Ridgley’s in record time. I rushed to put those shoes on, another squirt of deodorant, lip-gloss courtesy of Lana and dampen my hair a little, ready for the lessons to begin.
“Lee’s down stairs Michelle, your lessons are waiting down there tonight.” Madam Cyn shouted out from her little office. I rushed down the stairs to see a whole load college idiots, taking beginners lessons. Oh my God could this day get any weirder, and I had to wonder, who had put them up to it? They were grinning like the wayward schoolboys they still were, and messing around. I need to get my teaching head on. Half of these lads were part of the Neanderthals attached to our group when we were in school, deep joy. Oh great the wolf whistles too. I whistle back shutting them up with my strict voice.
“Shut up or leave, listen and learn, something you lot have not been able to do in the past six years, now shush and grow up now or leave?”
“Argh, yes quite Michelle, here she is the lovely Michelle, she will be dancing with most of you tonight. I wasn’t expecting quite as many lads. Michelle and Ellie’s late, so follow our lead as we begin with a simple foxtrot.” They really were useless as they arsed around. I grabbed one lad called Stephen.
“Right follow our lead and you lot watch or you will be dancing with Lee if you continue to mess around. Why you lot here, is it some sort of joke?” He blushed.
“There are plenty of nice girls.” I guided him.
“Is that the only reason?” He nodded.
“Pretty much, we came last week just to see what Karen and Ellie did here, she said it was fun somewhere to hang out, and they weren’t fussy who got served at the bar. We didn’t expect to see you here you’re really good, and so different here from school, how’s college life then? And yes I love being a trainee firefighter, if you were going to ask me what I was doing? Fancy coming out with me, you’re more confident now. How long have you been dancing Michelle?” I corrected a few of his moves. Boy did he just ask me out in all those mixed up nervous questions?
“I’ve been dancing here for nine, nearly ten years, college is fine and confident, cheers I don’t have as many arse’s in my life as I used to, speaking of which, where is Karen? Right well done Stephen, I’m seeing someone sorry too late, and he’s coming later if you want to chat about the offer? Did Karen put you up to it? I’m glad you like putting out fires.”
“Yeah, she said you liked a man in uniform, the bitch was winding me up. I look a fool, the fucking cow shit I’m so embarrassed now.”
“Don’t be, if I wasn’t seeing Sam I would have liked a date, but I’m and happy, and yeah I do like a man in uniform, she needs a padded white jacket the cow. I’m seeing Jimmy’s Brother Sam?”
“Argh Wam-Bam-Sam?” I laughed.
“Yeah one in the same, and that’s an old nickname, he’s boring old Michelle’s Sam now.” He laughed. “That’s great Stephen, take your place Jimmy your next.”
He slouched over, he looked nervous and as he put his arm around my waist, he went red. This was the closest we’d been since I had knelt between his legs stemming the flow of blood from his lip, unless you count the previous shouting in his face as a close encounter?
“Sam knows you’re having lessons then?” He was desperately trying to avoid eye contact.
“Like I give a shit what you and lover boy get up to and I don’t give a crap about you anymore, because you’re not worth it.” Oh, so you’re not at all bitter still Jimmy?
“Really James as long as the crap stops, we will be fine then, as to me and Sam? I didn’t do it to upset you Jimmy, really I didn’t! Besides you never said you liked me, what am I, a mind reader? You had plenty of time to let me know how you felt, how long were we friends nearly seven years James Robert? So quit it being a bigger bitch than Karen! I swear the last stunt you pulled made me so damned angry your lucky you’re even walking never mind here dancing and so damn close to where I could rip your balls off, what were you thinking James?” He went red, and shrugged his shoulders.
“I would like you to tell my Dad the truth, not your version of the facts, you whiny little sap. I’m over the fact that Sam has a past, my Dad is not a stupid man he has asked other people about Sam too, and they won’t be good reports we both know that! I don’t want to shock you, but he answered every question I asked of him last Saturday night! Sam told me there were a lot of girls and women before me, and there were, he said far too many to mention, even if he could remember them all, and for me that’s the only bad thing to come out of this, that he has too see God knows how many girls every day and think when they smile at him or speak, he’ll have I tapped that?
Crude I know, but that’s all he did Jimmy, he sowed his wild oats and not by the hand full either like normal blokes do. Judging by the non-committal answer he gave me, ‘it was just that baby too many’ or try this one, ‘I don’t know I was drunk,’ he doesn’t really know how many, is what the bottom line, and that’s the shame he has to carry.
You can’t make him feel any worse than he is already feeling about it all, and to be honest I’m not happy that someday I could be having lord knows how many woman with kids in their arms turning up at our door step and saying this is Sam’s son or daughter, that’s what I find scary James really scary.
He’s done more than hand sow a few oats, your prick of a brother, who I love very much, used a fucking seed driller to sow his bloody oats?” Jimmy finally broke a smile! “He’s never hidden that fact Jimmy, but he hides other things thinking they will spoil us, and that’s so not happening. I need for you to let the thought of there being an us go, and just be my friend, not be this twisted and bitter man stood here pretending he’s not hurting, when he so obviously is? Just remember I’m a better friend than I am enemy! I want to be friends Jimmy but if you want to be enemies then watch your back, because I don’t play nice anymore!”
I moved forward, he moved back, I did wonder what his motives were for being here were? They can’t still be me? Nope… Ellie was rushing in and he went bright red. Oh, how quickly he had moved on. So I wasn’t his true love after all?
“Argh you’ve got a thing for Ellie, don’t say I don’t do anything for you, Ellie can you take over with Jimmy,” I grabbed Gary, who smiled as I placed his hands on my bum and he was well frisky.
“You’re a quick learner Gary Parkin, but grab my bum one more time and it’s a kick to the nuts again for you.” He had no qualms about grabbing my bum, but his hands quickly moved, he laughed. I wonder did he remember the last kick to his knackers he got? He soon moved his hands off my bum, he must have.
“God loves a trier Michelle. Gran taught me for family functions, so she would have someone to dance with.” The lessons went really well and there was nothing more in it other than the lads wanting to get a girlfriend and a drink. I’d had my toes trod on more than a dozen times tonight, but the lads had really tried their best.
“Will you all be coming back next week then?” Lee asked, yes was the general opinion. He booked me, Samantha and Ellie as their teachers.
“If you’re stopping, for the social take seats upstairs please. Remember to be quiet as there are others having their lessons. Talking of lessons girls upstairs. Cathy’s waiting for us and it's her last night tonight, the baby's making her cranky and thanks for the help again. Samantha’s back next week, so you should be fine.” We rushed up she had been waiting five minutes. I was about to dance in front of the idiots.
“Sorry Cathy we won’t be late again.” She was grumpier than usual tonight and her sandals were stopping all over the floor, Lee put our music on and grabbed my arm and we started with the rumba.
“You
look different Michelle, being in love totally agrees with you, by the way he’s watching you.” I didn’t search him out.
“Cheers Lee, so no pressure then?” I was knackered, I’m still with Lee, and music starts. This dance is all as Lee says tits and bum, but yet again another perfect dance.
“Are we ready then for the next exams?” Ellie asked.
“Lee nodded can’t see why not, but you’ve got to throw in a dance of your own, how about a Samba?” Cathy had disappeared, yet more toilet stops for her. Right, he began showing us the steps, we struggled with some of the more fancier footwork, but a couple more sessions and we’d have that nailed too. Ellie and I were wrecked, I needed a drink, and I wanted Sam. Not really bothered in what order either. The whole of our new lads class were clapping including Jimmy, though think his where aimed at Ellie not for me. I needed a pee, quick dash to toilet, and a quick wetting of the hair.
We began our nipper’s class, poor little Gillian danced with Ellie. I'm thinking last week’s fall had put her off dancing with me? They followed us around like little ducklings watching, what we did and copying our every move. They were a great bunch of kiddies, loud and chatty. We ran through the dances they needed to do, I’m giving the tango a miss tonight.
“Thank you, that was a great class tonight, I will see you all in two weeks. Ellie will be teaching you, because I am on holiday, so behave yourselves or no rock for you lot.” I had a look around the room for Sam. I didn’t have to look very far he was at the same corner seats as last week, with a drink. I went over and kissed him, to sniggers from the lads.
“Can you read minds too, because, if you can I’m in trouble?” He pulled me down onto his lap, smiling as he did.
“You were really good again, what’s with that lot?” He was eying up his brother and the lads, who for some reason think, they have something I want. They see a different girl here perhaps? I'm not interested in anyone else apart from the fella, whose lap is nice to be sat on, and whose hand is lovingly caressing my thigh.
“That’s easy, they get served alcohol here, some can’t get in the pubs, Stockton getting savvy to the underage drinking, and they noticed how many girls were here last week and they have started taking lessons too, including Jimmy, who by the way has now got a crush on Ellie. He’s not as good as his big brother in the dance department either.” He nibbled on my neck and sighed. “Best I don’t catch you following her around. You’re my stalker nobody else’s.” He pulled me in closer, now kissing me harder on the back of my neck, shivers sent riding through my body.
“Right about Blackpool Monday, your plan is?” He had his hand on my thigh, his fingers stroking it, every touch feeling so nice.
“Please I’d love it but we don’t have to do anything.” I tried looking coy and failed miserably. “We don’t have to rush into the whole sex thing Michelle. I can wait, but we can still go for a meal, do the cuddling and stuff? We need to get to know each other and talk, have a good time and just take our time.” He looked a lot different than he did when he first suggested the idea?
“Why have you changed your mind? Can it be you’ve had second thoughts? After all, it was your suggestion, one I want to happen to want too, do you really not want too? I’m thinking it’s got to be a lot more than you just changing your mind? You were looking forward to it as much as me Sam.” He grabbed my hand and we got up to dance again. Sam, the master of avoidance, he looked into my eyes and smiled. He clung to me like ivy around an old tree, his warm breath on my neck and his fingers around my back gently stroking the skin they were touching. “Sam what’s the matter? Ever since I mentioned, this Blackpool thing you’ve been a little off, have I done something, not done something, please tell me?”
“No, nothing you haven’t done anything wrong quite the contrary, you do a lot of good things Michelle. It’s just such a big thing for us to do and I’d like for it all to be perfect, I’m worried your first time should be special, a something to remember for the rest of your life special. I don’t want to mess that up for you, I need to explain Michelle, I have issues with just sleeping around and I need to be in a committed relationship for the sex thing, because of how I was before, I need it to be different, and you, you are different, so very different and perfect, but hell yes I do want that for you and me eventually.”
He wants commitment? What sort of commitment, that I won’t be leaving him after we do it? Why would I throw the dream of mine away?
“So we should wait, is that what you’re saying? I need to save myself just for the man I marry? Sorry Sam, but you’re the one I want. I’m sure if and when and where we do it; it will be fine, if you still want to that is?” That actually sounded like he was the one I wanted to marry, and maybe I do someday, but umm not thinking that far down the track, but the thought is now in there.
“I want you too and more than you realise and baby right now. I do want you to commit to me Michelle because you have me totally wrapped around theses.” He picked up my hand and kissed my fingers. The music played and we danced on, he had me held close to him, we were dancing of sorts, more shuffling around, looking at each other.
“Do you want to leave and come back to mine? With any luck they’re all out or in bed.”
“Yes.” I went to change the shoes grab my jacket, and we headed to mine, things were definitely a little more restrained, a week of not keeping our hands off each other to, well near enough get me to the nunnery stuff. This was getting weirder and weirder by the minute.
“Right what’s been said Sam?” He blushed.
I was on my way to see her and her Dad was coming out of the Owl, I knew this was coming I just didn’t expect it tonight.
“Sam has Michelle told you I need a word, man to man sort of thing?”
“She has yes Sir.”
“Less of the Sir, it’s Mick, as you know I said I never judge people until I know them, but as she is by baby, yes eighteen, but she is still my little girl, when you have children you will understand the pull they have on your heart. I asked around and well you have a bad reputation for…”
“Sleeping around, very old news Sir, erm Mick and it was a stupid thing to do, but I swear I haven’t slept with Michelle or nor do I intend to, not until we do this properly, get to know each other and date a while. When I said I have never had a girlfriend I haven’t. Doing this with Michelle is all I need for now I’m not saying we won’t but…”
“Enough I know she’s of age and shit, please don’t let me picture that, not just yet, she’s my baby girl, look after her Sam, and we will be fine, but don’t hurt her or you will know about it, your brother wasn’t very complementary, but her Cousin Shane said you had stopped sleeping with anything with a pulse months ago, is Michelle the reason why? If so I will give you the benefit of the doubt, just don’t let me down, my daughters mean the world to me, both of them!”
“I’m not interested in both of them Mick, just Michelle, and yes she is being treated with kid gloves because she is special, besides we have had this talk and we agree we need to know each other better, but she is the only one I want and as you say I can get any girl I want and they generally do what I want, but not anymore she is the one and has been for months since mid-November I have loved only your daughter. As to Jimmy he is miffed because he wanted to ask her out too!”
“Umm, well I suppose that’s done, now see to it you keep your word, I know I don’t have the right to ask but wait a while please she is…”
“Special?”
“Very and thanks Sam, you are more than welcome to keep seeing her. I suppose we will be seeing a lot of each other, she’s taken with you, just treat her well, night Son…”
“Goodnight Sir, I mean Mick and yes I will see you soon.” I left feeling bloody relieved, I’m glad she told me that he likes to hear the truth, truth is I love her deeply, and want that with her, more than anything, umm off to see the reason for the shaking and sweaty palms…
“I met your dad on the way up.
He sort of implied that if I touched you that way, I’d be getting a visit from his famous right hook, he asked me the questions, and I was truthful, fearing the leg break, and after I said I wasn’t for doing that with you, he agreed to give me the benefit of the doubt. I’m to prove him right and do things correctly and slowly and I want that to. I love you and though I’d kill to be alone in a bedroom with you, it’s not happening yet, not never just not yet.”
“I bloody well knew you’d changed, thanks for letting me know. I’m going to kill him, what else did he say?” He stopped walking and pulled me into his arms. “Oh the interfering old sod, don’t tell me you promised?” He kissed me.
“What was I supposed to do, he’s your dad? I can wait and I know there’s plenty we can do in the meantime, lots baby absolutely loads of things, and when we do it will be great, all of it will I promise.” I was so angry.
“I’m going to kill him, and you like hell you’ll wait? Your hornier than a toad and I’m just as bad, we can’t keep our hands off each other as it is. I want you and intend to have my wicked way with you. So it will be my fault not yours.” He kissed me, his arms over my shoulders and hands holding the back of my neck.
“Michelle give him time, when he sees we’re together and sex isn’t all I’m after baby he may change? I have to prove I’m serious about you, he’s just looking out for you and he really does love you. He practically begged me not to touch you. I promised because he seemed genuinely upset, and I want the same too, giving me your gift is not all I want baby, I want the whole thing, I want always and forever, Michelle always and forever…”
“As in nobody else ever? Just you and me?”
“Yes, you’re the girl I want that way, and we have all the time in the world to do the other stuff! Stuff I want to do, can we please just enjoy this, knowing we have forever to do those things?”
“Oh hell alright I will wait, besides the stuff we do now is pretty good, what else can we do then?” We both laughed aloud.
A Life Plan Without You. Page 21
