‘Come in,’ she said, and Molly followed. She didn’t need to be asked to sit down.
‘I was hoping to catch up with you. I heard about the incident. How are you feeling?’
‘Oh, I’m fine. Have to have a few tests but I’ll be fine.’
‘I’m glad. How are you all doing?’
‘Good, bad, fine, terrible, depends on the second of the day, really,’ Molly said.
‘Well, that’s how it’s supposed to be.’
‘Rabbit’s daughter Juliet and my son Davey are in with her now. Couldn’t stick seeing my granddaughter watch her mother die – it’s not right, but, then, how do you tell her to leave?’
‘You don’t.’
‘What if it scars her for life?’
‘This will scar her for life, no matter what you decide to do. You’ve just got to try your best to minimize the damage.’
‘By making her suffer through every heart- and gut-wrenching moment of this?’ Molly said.
‘If that’s what she wants.’
‘It’s not right,’ Molly said again. She was so used to being sure about everything and now she was lost. For the first time in Molly’s life, she didn’t know what was best. She didn’t know what to do. The loss of control was terrifying.
‘Juliet will remember her mother dying. She will never wonder about it, she’ll never regret not being there, she won’t have questions, and she’ll know that her mother had a good death,’ Rita said.
‘She’ll remember her mother dying,’ Molly repeated. The rest of the sentence momentarily lost meaning. ‘That’s what she’ll remember.’
‘It’s not all,’ Rita said.
‘I was trying to think what I remember before I was Juliet’s age and you know what I came up with?’
‘What?’
‘Fuck all.’
‘It’s different for Juliet. She’ll hold on to those twelve years and you’ll all help her,’ Rita said.
‘I’m impressed you know what age she is,’ Molly said.
‘It’s my job.’
‘Well, you’re not bad at it.’
‘Thank you.’
‘You could do with hiring a stylist, if you don’t mind me saying, but you have a way with people.’
Rita grinned and chuckled a little. ‘Well, now, Molly, that’s not the first time I’ve heard that but, honestly, I am what I am and I like what I like . . .’
‘And I bet you’ve got more than one cat.’
‘Four.’
‘Good for you, love,’ Molly said.
Molly felt marginally better when she left Rita’s office. She had texted Father Frank earlier and he had responded to tell her he was in the car park. She climbed into his car.
‘Well?’
‘We’re nearing the end.’
‘Are you sure you still want me to do this?’
‘She won’t let me have a proper funeral for her but she mentioned nothing about last rites.’
‘What about the rest of the family?’ he asked.
‘Leave them to me.’
‘OK. I have a few visits to do.’
‘Right. I’ll text you when the coast is clear.’
Molly looked left and right before getting out of the car. She knew it was against everything her dying daughter wanted, but what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.
She met Grace in the corridor. ‘We were starting to worry.’
‘I’m fine.’
‘Where were you?’
‘None of your beeswax.’
‘Ma?’
‘Wha’?’ Molly said innocently.
‘I know you. Spit it out.’
‘Father Frank is going to give Rabbit the last rites.’ Molly waited for her daughter to argue, but no protest came.
‘Well, what harm could it do?’ Grace said.
‘Exactly.’ Molly was relieved to have someone on her side. She knew Jack would go mad if he found out.
‘Don’t tell Davey,’ Grace said.
‘Agreed.’
‘And we’ll have to get me da out of the place.’
‘So we’ll send him off with Juliet, Davey and Mabel. Marjorie will be on our team.’
‘Send them off to do what, though?’
‘Get food?’
‘There’s a canteen here. They won’t leave for food, not now.’
‘I could always sound the fire alarm?’
‘Jaysus, Ma, that’s a bit extreme.’
‘Well, then, we’ll need to run interference. Marjorie can distract Davey – she knows how. You can distract your da and Mabel, and Lenny and the kids can do something with Juliet. He only needs five minutes,’ Molly said.
‘Right. You’ll say you want some alone time with Rabbit.’
‘I’ll turf Davey and Juliet out.’
‘And I’ll talk to Marjorie and Lenny,’ Grace said.
They parted ways at Rabbit’s door.
‘We’re doing the right thing,’ Molly said.
‘What she doesn’t know won’t harm her.’
‘Exactly.’
Grace moved to walk away, but her mother grasped her elder daughter’s arm. ‘I love you, Grace.’
‘I love you too, Ma.’
Molly successfully managed to kick her son and granddaughter out of the room on condition that she didn’t spend too much time alone with Rabbit. Then she texted Father Frank.
The coast is clear.
Give me five minutes.
We don’t have five minutes. Come now!
She would have added the angry-face emoticon if she’d known how to find it on her phone.
On the way.
He arrived two minutes later. She closed the door and ushered him over to Rabbit, who was slowly dying.
‘Oh, Rabbit,’ he said, and placed his hand on her forehead. ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Yeah, yeah, enough of that, just do the job.’
He gave Molly a withering look.
‘Don’t look at me like that. We’re on the clock.’ She was watching the door.
He took out his sanctified oils and anointed Rabbit’s forehead. She moved slightly under his touch. He waited a second before sprinkling holy water. She stirred again, her eyelids moved. He backed away.
‘You know this has very little relevance if she—’
‘You said. I know. Please.’
‘I’m doing this for you, Molly.’
‘I know, and I’m grateful.’
Rabbit settled and he stood over her. ‘Purify me with hyssop, Lord, and I shall be clean of sin. Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Have mercy on me, God, in your great kindness. Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.’
He laid his hand on her forehead once more. Rabbit opened her eyes and, as loudly as she could, she whispered, ‘Boo.’
Father Frank came close to wetting himself.
Molly shouted, ‘Sweet Jesus.’
Rabbit smiled. ‘You couldn’t help yourself, Ma.’
‘I’m so sorry, love.’ She was sorry to have been caught but delighted to see her little girl again.
‘Go on, Father. Skip to the good bit, for me ma’s sake.’
‘I will, Rabbit. May the almighty and merciful Lord grant you pardon, absolution and remission for your sins.’
‘Amen,’ Molly said. ‘Tell Juliet and the others she’s awake,’ she said to him. He said he would and was gone.
Juliet arrived with Jack, Mabel, Grace, Lenny and Stephen.
‘Ma?’
‘Hi, Bunny.’
‘It’s all right, Ma.’
‘Love you, Bunny.’
‘Love you, Ma.’
The others didn’t get a chance to speak because her eyes closed and she was asleep once more.
Molly wouldn’t leave Rabbit’s side for one moment after that. Time was precious and she was determined to spend every second of it with her daughter.
Davey
Davey missed Rabbit’s short revival. Marjorie had sug
gested a walk and, with Juliet safe in Mabel’s care, he took her up on the offer. They wandered around the well-worn garden path.
‘I wanted to say I think you’ll be great for Juliet,’ Marjorie said.
‘You don’t have to lie.’
‘I’m telling the truth, Davey. Part of me thought you were unsuitable and I’ve realized that another part of me didn’t want to lose Juliet too.’
‘I understand.’
‘It was selfish and I’m sorry.’
‘You were doing your best for Rabbit.’
‘But she knew better than me. She always did.’
‘Not about everything, Marjorie,’ he said, putting an arm around her shoulders. She slipped hers around his waist and they walked on comfortably.
Davey and Marjorie were never destined to be a couple – they weren’t even the very best of friends – but their lives had been embroidered together through the important moments they had shared in life. Davey owed Marjorie a lot. She had been the one to pull him out of the depression that had set in after the band had broken up. He had felt abandoned and directionless.
Johnny was battling for his life and the only person he’d have near him in the early days was Rabbit.
Francie had managed to dump Sheila B, and after one incident, in which she’d tried to run him down in a supermarket car park, she’d finally let him go. She’d disappeared into her own madness, and he had met Sarah, who turned out to be the love of his life. The band splitting up had made an adult of Francie: he loved music but he loved life more and he was content to let the past go. Within a month of the split, the factory sent him on a management course. Between that and moving into Sarah’s flat in town, he hadn’t really been around.
Jay had met a girl too. She was a singer in a band that had supported Kitchen Sink a few times. As soon as he’d broken the news that the band was gone, she’d fired her guitar player and he was installed. It wasn’t his idea and he wasn’t too sure, but the sex was good, they had their own bus and he could live the rock-and-roll lifestyle – if only for a year. Then their relationship had imploded and, coincidentally, she’d tried to run him over in a Navan car park.
Kev dumped the French girlfriend but stayed in Paris to study sculpture; much to everyone’s surprise, he had a gift for it.
Davey was suddenly and catastrophically alone so he drank on his own down in the local. It was there that he bumped into Marjorie. She’d just turned eighteen and offered to buy him a drink now that she could do legally. He’d already had a few in him. He’d agreed and she’d sat down next to him at the bar.
‘Where’s Rabbit?’ he’d asked.
‘Johnny needed her.’
‘When did my friend become my little sister’s friend?’
‘When he robbed her from me.’
She bought shots. They clinked their glasses and drank.
He bought shots. They clinked their glasses and drank.
She bought shots. They clinked their glasses and drank.
And so it went on, until they needed to hold onto one another to walk out of the pub. Halfway down the street Marjorie stopped.
‘Do you want to puke?’ he asked her.
‘No. You?’
‘No.’
‘Why are we stopping, then?’
‘I want to ask you something.’
‘Do it.’
‘What are you going to do now?’
That was when Davey Hayes burst into tears in the middle of the street. A few lads across the road jeered at him but he didn’t notice.
‘I miss him, Marjorie. I miss the lads, I miss the music, I miss fucking hoping.’
Marjorie had held him and told him that everything would work out.
‘For who? Not for Johnny, that’s for sure,’ he said. ‘It’s just so fucked up.’
She didn’t argue, because it was. Davey’s tears sobered them both enough to get chips. After they’d eaten them and were halfway home, they passed the park. The gate was mysteriously open. Davey couldn’t remember which of them suggested going inside, but he remembered what had happened next very well. They kissed and pulled at one another’s clothes and he kept asking her if it was all right and she kept slapping him and telling him to stop asking. She lay on the grass and he lay on top of her and it was all so quick. Her jeans were around her ankles, his were around his knees, and at one point she screamed and pinched him.
‘Ow! What’s that for?’
‘It hurt.’
‘Shall I stop?’
‘No, don’t.’
‘Are you sure?’
She hit him again.
‘Stop hitting.’
‘Well, stop stopping.’
When they had finished, and their trousers were back around their waists, he realized she had been a virgin and was contrite. ‘I’m so sorry.’
She was beaming, thrilled to have joined the ranks of the sexually active. ‘What for? That was great.’
‘Really?’
‘Of course. Couldn’t be happier.’
‘It wasn’t very memorable.’
‘Oh, trust me, it was memorable.’ She had walked home in a pair of white jeans stained with blood and grass, and he thought it remarkable that she didn’t seem to give a shit.
After that they had been together a few more times, but theirs turned out to be an easy friendship rather than a great love story. It was Marjorie who had encouraged him to go to America two years later, after Johnny had died. She’d set him up with her uncle, who ran a music bar in New York, and changed the course of Davey’s life. When he had returned home for three weeks, two years ago, they had engaged in a short-lived but passionate affair and he had changed the course of hers. They were both grown-up, he was lonely and she was unhappy. It was highly charged, exciting, but the passion that had burned in darkness was extinguished as soon as it was brought to light.
Davey had always cared for Marjorie, possibly more than she knew. They were on their second circuit of the grounds when he broached the subject of their past. ‘Do you think if things were different we’d have ended up together?’ he asked.
‘No.’ She said it in a good-humoured way but it was still a very definite no.
‘Ah, come on, at least pretend to think about it.’
‘No.’ She chuckled at such a silly notion.
‘We had some good times all the same.’
‘We did.’
‘We’re always going to be in one another’s lives, you know.’
‘Are we, Davey?’ she asked, and that was when she cracked.
They stopped walking. He faced her and pulled her to him. ‘Yes, of course.’
‘I feel like I’m losing you all,’ she said.
He drew back to look her in the eye. ‘You will not lose us. You are family, Marjorie, just like Francie, Jay and even Kev. It’s just the way it is.’
‘Thank you,’ she said, and he kissed her. She kissed him back – and before he knew it they were leaning against a tree and going at it like two teenagers. It was getting a little hot, heavy and unseemly for two grown adults, even if the grounds were empty.
Marjorie pulled away. ‘What are we doing, Davey?’
He sighed. ‘Being stupid.’
They moved slightly apart. He took her hand and kissed it. ‘We should go back inside.’
There, they learned that Rabbit had woken for a minute or two. Marjorie was gutted. ‘I missed her.’
‘You’ll be here the next time,’ he said but, looking at his sister, he wasn’t sure that she would wake up again. Come on, Rabbit, let us see you, please, one last time.
Johnny
‘Rabbit, I’m so sorry, but he doesn’t want to see you.’ Mrs Faye was holding her front door close to her chest, her full weight against it. Rabbit couldn’t have got past her even if she’d made a run at it.
‘Wha’? Why?’
‘He’s not well enough.’
‘But I help him.’
‘Not any more, love. He wants you to
get on with your life.’
‘No. He wouldn’t do that to me, not like this.’
‘He thinks it’s the only way. You know he’s not cruel, you know it’s hard on him, but he’s right. He’s getting sicker, love, and you have your whole life ahead of you.’
‘No, not acceptable,’ Rabbit said, and she tried to push through, but Mrs Faye held firm. ‘I’m sorry, love,’ she said, and closed the door.
The next day Rabbit returned. Mrs Faye opened the door enough to talk to her through a small slit.
‘Please.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Just five minutes.’
‘No.’
‘OK, two minutes.’
‘I can’t.’
‘You can’t be serious,’ Rabbit said.
‘Go home, Rabbit.’
On the third day, when Rabbit knocked, Mrs Faye didn’t open the door. Instead she pulled the curtain away from the glass and shook her head.
‘I’m not going away,’ Rabbit said. She stood back in the garden and shouted to the upstairs bedroom window. ‘Do you hear me, Johnny? You can’t do this. It’s not fair. I’m not going away.’
The fourth day she knocked but Mrs Faye didn’t answer. Her car was there and Johnny’s district nurse’s car was outside, which meant he was there.
‘I’m here. I’m sitting on your wall,’ she shouted up to the window.
Maura Wallace, the Fayes’ next-door neighbour on the right, stepped out of her house. ‘Still no joy, love?’
‘No.’
‘Men are bastards.’
‘It’s not like that.’
‘It looks like that to me.’
‘Yeah, well, you’re wrong.’
‘He’s sick, I get it, but he’s still no right to treat you like this.’
‘Mrs Wallace, you don’t know me.’
‘Of course I do. You’re the slip of a thing who’s been following Johnny Faye around since you were in bunches.’
‘I just want to talk to him. Why won’t he talk to me?’
Mrs Wallace sat on the wall beside Rabbit. ‘Because he’s afraid.’
The Last Days of Rabbit Hayes Page 30
