by LW Barefoot
I know I should give them time together. He’s stayed away from her just like I have. Both of us listened to her doctor’s warnings of us being ugly reminders of her past. The possibility of us being triggers had us both fearful of the consequences.
But I don’t care about any of it as I stalk them through my own home. Not giving a damn who witnesses my caveman mentality and actions, shining proudly for all to see.
I leave bits and pieces of my soul on the floor with every step I take towards them. Lacerations slice through my heart when I hear them both crying and whispering hushed apologies to each other.
The only thing I will get from this is my own torment. Maybe that’s what I deserve. Maybe that’s my penance.
I know the risks I’m taking and I don’t care. This is worse than I thought and exactly what I deserve.
I stay in the dark hallway watching them. Harper pours her heart out, pours it out to him. I understood it, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t piss me off even more. My stupid ego rages that she’s wrapped up in someone else, that I should have seen this coming. I am jealous, once again, of Jamie and the closeness they share. Covetous of the way she wraps her arms around his neck and lets him in on her feelings. Hating myself for not stepping up and opening up to her in the first place.
I’ve spent all this time trying to map out my way back to her, plotting our awkward reintroduction, but I kept coming up short. She held back from me all day yesterday and I allowed it, but I’m not sure I can any longer.
Jamie whispers something about whether he should leave us alone. I’m not the monster here, at least not yet.
Jamie and I exchange a look of understanding before he brushes past me, leaving us alone.
I move off of the door and close it behind me. Her eyes flicker to my movements, to her only escape route.
I stalk to her and take her in my arms. It’s been too long. She gasps as I purposefully press my cheek to hers. I feel her tears run down both our faces as she sinks against me. All my life women have used tears as leverage, but not Harper. Each drop pulls on something deep inside of me that I don’t want to observe too closely. I give in to my desire to hold her and I can tell she wants to hide from me.
“Let me hold you, Harper,” I whisper in her ear.
Her sudden intake of air tickles across my skin as she nods in approval.
I inhale her scent and hold her to me. She starts shaking, crying harder than she has all night. I pull back just enough to look in her eyes.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
“Everything,” her whisper is soft but deadly. I grab her hand and pull her from the room.
She blames what happened to her on me, but it was us. Our future together and the threat that could present to my entire network of people.
I ignore everyone we pass as I make my way through to the bedroom, not wanting to make this worse for Harper. I catch Tom’s approving look as we walk upstairs. He swirls the amber liquid around his glass and lifts it in a mock toast. I will him to raid every cellar and bar on the property for making it possible for Harper to be here.
I turn around to see who’s following us. Martin holds a tray and shrugs. I motion for him to continue. We enter the master suite as Martin places the tray on the coffee table and closes the doors behind him when he leaves. I sit with Harper on the couch.
Her eyes averted and head down. I lift my hand to her, pushing her hair away from her face. My thumb trails down along her jaw. Her soft skin so delicate and tempting. Her pulse accelerates against my touch.
“Have dinner with me?” I request.
“Okay,” she whispers.
I reach for the coffee table and pull it to us. I lift the lids on the platters and inspect what Martin brought. A large plate filled with fruits and cheeses sit next to a basket with warm bread, along with a large charcuterie board. I watch as Harper tentatively pops a grape in her mouth.
“I think there is enough food for more than just us,” I say. Testing the waters, trying to get her to open up to me.
I uncork the bottle of wine, filling up both glasses, and handing one to her. Our fingers brush and the current from her touch is strong and electric.
“I think someone’s trying to fatten me up.”
Harper’s lips twitch with her exclamation. Her eyes divert from mine as she takes a sip of wine. We try one lined sentences, but it’s strained. Nervous energy pours off us both. I feel like a fucking teenager, afraid to make the wrong move.
I watch as red wine stains her pink lips, lining the edges and making them darker. Wanting to taste its sin with the mixture of her own sweetness. Knowing the best wine in the world would be better for entwining with her personal taste.
I’m sick of sitting back and playing timid because I don’t know a damn thing about it.
“Harper, I’m trying my hardest to restrain myself from scaring you. I’m sorry I failed you. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.”
Her blush deepens. Eyes swimming in unshed tears.
“I’m not trying to upset you, far from it. Baby, please don’t cry.”
I reach for her and pull her towards me. The way our skin melts into one breathes new life into whatever this is between us.
“I see your fear, I can taste it in the air around us, but I swear to you that I would never hurt you.”
Brushing a tear off her perfect cheek, I stare at her.
“I swear I will wait as long as it takes for you to see this, for you to know the truth,” I confess.
My thumb goes to her trembling lower lip, so soft and warm. I don’t anticipate her tongue reaching out to touch my skin, barely grazing. I can’t stop from pulling her closer to me, slanting my mouth against hers. Ripples of awakening vibrate up my spine and I take. I take her lips. I take her small gasps. I even take the moan that escapes her and feed off of it.
She knew what she was doing with that light touch of her tongue. I warned her. If she needed for me to prove that, I am up for the task.
I school my lips to be the only thing that’s forceful. She melts my heart when she timidly climbs on top of my lap. I push my hands in her hair and hold her to me. Needing to feel her lips as her weight settles on me. Her silken strands feel so perfect between my fingers. She trembles when her wet tongue finds mine. I let her take the lead.
The kiss is laced with sweet cruelty. Her breathing hitches as she pulls back from me, only inches from my face.
“You’re not pushing for more,” she exclaims.
“I’ll take whatever you’ll give me, Harper.”
“But that’s not us, that’s not what we are together,” she explains.
Her eyes move back and forth between mine, studying my expression, as flames dance in her orbs and her breath fans over my face.
“Tonight it is. I won’t push you, Harper. Just let me hold you.”
She takes this like rejection and that’s the last thing I intended. I want her to feel treasured and loved.
I kiss her again. I’m not sure if either one of us is ready for more. I’m the luckiest bastard in the world just to hold her. I feel her melt and the thaw is delicious and tempting. I expect her arms to lag and fall, but they don’t. She cuddles in deeper, trying to find some kind of solace in my arms. I sigh a deep breath of relief.
She’s warmth and comfort wrapped in the sexiest body that’s ever walked. I know what she’s doing as she snuggles in close. Purposefully rubbing up against my straining erection. My hands slide down her back and cup her tight ass. Pulling her hard against me, making her gasp.
“Is this what you want, Harper?” I ask as she pushes herself against me as if in answer.
But that’s not good enough.
“You’re tempting a beast, little one. I can’t be held responsible for what I do to you.”
I stop myself and take a deep breath. I’m trying to think with my head but my lust is dangerous and threatens to take over.
“Do you need me to show you how much I want you?
Harper, I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want you.”
I’m such an ass because she still thinks this is her fault. Her vulnerability is so damn delicious that it makes my mouth water. Before I introduce her to more pain, I will show her what divine pleasure is. I will shatter and break through her walls of insecurity and force her to see that I’m the lucky one.
“Show me, Evan. Help me feel again.”
Her words are the best thing I could have hoped for.
Harper
I can’t form words or even thoughts for that matter. I’m drowning in my hunger for Evan. Butterflies swirl and tumble around in my stomach, their broken wings flutter stronger than ever. I feel the pounding desire course through my entire being. Evan’s arousal pushes up against me and all I want to do is peel down his zipper and show him how much his words mean to me. Show him how much I need him, how much I want him. Maybe even more importantly, show him that I’m not broken.
Evan’s lips capture mine. My nervous system short-circuits. I tremble on top of him. There’s not an ounce of control I have in this dance of ours. His mouth is so warm and inviting, but dangerous.
Just like my body has betrayed me in the past by giving away my desire, Evan’s is doing the same. My thighs strain to touch the couch on either side of his legs, stretching me wide open on top of his lap. The ridge of his denim digs across my sensitive skin.
“Stand up, Harper,” Evan says as he pulls away from me.
I push off him and stand. My arms hang by my sides, waiting for his next instruction.
“Undress for me.”
I slowly lift the hem of my dress and slide it over my head. I tease him by taking my time getting naked. I pull the straps of my bra off my shoulders and free my breasts. Evan tries to keep his eyes on mine, but the second I drop the bra his heated stare latches on my nipples. Moving to my underwear, I slide them seductively down my hips.
“Climb up here, brave girl. Make sure you’re still standing.”
I pause in momentary doubt.
“Now, Harper. Don’t make me have to tell you again.”
Mmm, I’ve missed his domineering voice. I climb up on the couch. Evan’s gaze roams all over my exposed body. Strong hands help me and keep me steady.
His voice is soft when he whispers, “I’ll hold you up, baby, don’t worry.”
His full lips move over my skin. Tenderly pressing his lips on my legs, moving upwards as I climb. He licks over my scars, kissing them reverently without a shred of disgust. His hands force me to stand all the way up.
“I’ve missed the sight of your perfect skin.”
It’s not perfect at all. His eyes command mine as he watches my reaction to his words, his every move.
“I’ve missed the sweet scent of your pussy, Harper, and the taste. My god, I can’t wait to taste you again. Spread your legs.”
I widen my stance, feeling self-conscious, standing on the couch with my naked sex in his face. He kisses up my inner thighs, finally licking up to my pussy. I clench my inner muscles when I feel his hot tongue lap at me. I’m so wet from his words I should be embarrassed, but he hums in appreciation as his tongue takes in every drop of my arousal.
His hands move to where they rest just under my ass, holding me up against his face. He licks and strokes my cunt with his hot tongue. He pushes me hard against him and I moan. It feels amazing. His fingertips spread me open, massaging and caressing. His lips and tongue cover my exposed pussy. Greedily trying to drink me in, sucking on the delicate skin. Flicking his tongue over my clit and the first wave of spasms start. It’s so intense and exquisite that my hands grab his hair and try to pull him off me. But the fight is futile and it only pushes him to pick up the pace on teasing my sensitive little button. Grabbing it between his lips, he sucks hard, forcing an earth shattering orgasm to explode. The second he sent me tumbling over the edge, he shoves two fingers in my wet heat. My muscles clench and pull against his thrusting digits. I scream and come all over his perfect face. He moans as he savors and licks up my release.
“Fuck, Harper. I’ve missed you,” he swears.
He pulls his fingers from me and undoes his belt, pulling it through the loops. I shiver and want him to use it on me like he has before. I watch as he pulls his pants off. I start working to undo the buttons of his shirt. His huge gorgeous cock juts proudly up to me. I’m still slightly standing and he keeps me like that, but all I want to do is sink on his impressive erection because I ache and I need him. I’m pretty sure I just garbled out something like a whine with a request.
“What do you want, Harper?”
His eyes capture mine and I’m lost.
“You, Evan. I need you.”
It’s the most honest I’ve ever been. I try again to sink down to take him, but he stops me.
“You’re not ready for me, yet.”
But I disagree because I’ve never been more ready or prepared for anything in my life.
He shoves his fingers in me, pushing and stroking my tight inner walls. Fitting another finger in, I shake trying to accommodate the intrusion. His tongue lovingly moves over my swollen clit, licking my arousal off and purring with the taste.
My first orgasm is quickly forgotten as if it never happened, because I’m hungry for more.
Evan’s other hand slowly leads me down to him. Making me pause and hover as he sucks in my nipple while pumping his hand up and out of me. He licks and teases and delivers the same attention to my opposite breast.
The muscles in his shoulders bunch when I place my hands on them. I lean over and run my tongue flat along the corded column of his neck. Tasting his musky skin, his cologne wraps around my senses. I graze my teeth over the thick side and put pressure on his hard muscle. He hisses and pushes me down.
Removing his hand from my drenched pussy, he fists his cock. Coating his steel rod with my nectar. I watch him stroke up and down as he guides me just above his intimidating cock.
“What do you need, Harper?”
“You.”
I can hardly get the word out. My mind short-wires as I watch this sexy man handle himself.
“I didn’t hear you, baby.”
“Fuck me, Evan. Please.”
His nostrils flare as his name falls off my tongue. He pushes me down hard. I can’t fit all of him in me, yet. I groan as I try to stretch around him. He watches me as I move to take more of him in me. It’s painful but feels so fucking good.
I silently beg him to take over and not make me ride him like this. He hits too deep the way our bodies are positioned. I lower myself more and my core strains.
I’m slow and uncoordinated as I wiggle on him. I keep pumping up and down on his cock, but it’s impossible for me to take him all.
I’ve never been on top before. Never been in a position where I had to take control of the rhythm of our bodies. That inexperience, that missing lesson, has me second guessing every inch of movement. I feel even more self-conscious than I had moments ago. As I squirm, Evan’s heated stare has alarm bells going off.
Evan lifts me all the way off him. I think I detect his anger and frustration when I lower to the floor. I’m frantic to please him and, even more, scared he will put a stop to things.
I start licking him. His cock is wet and our tastes mixed together are heady and sweet. He grasps my hair and pushes my head down. He hits the back of my throat. I need him to abuse me. I need the sensation of pain to become hot and exposed to him.
He starts fucking my lips as I lick and suck. Twisting my tongue around the soft head of his cock. I cup his balls in my hand and slightly tug, my other hand pumps him in my mouth.
Fire blazes behind me, flames dance around the darkened shadows of the room.
It’s not memory loss I blame for trying to take over, I just didn’t think, period. I know I’m crossing a line with him, but can he not see what he’s doing to me?
I don’t get what I want as he wrenches my head back, forcing me to meet his gaze. If I though
t I saw anger in those depths before, then this is madness. His grip lessens and I back away from him. I stand up and move away.
He’s dangerous like this and I shouldn’t have pushed him. But that pissed him off and excited him even more.
I made matters worse when I tried to take the lead. I knew that and now I’m in flight mode. I need to get away, I think that as I feel my shins hit the edge of the coffee table.
“What’s wrong, Harper? Did you get in too deep again?”
He could say that again. His sensitive voice from earlier is gone, replaced with a dark and sinister tone. His eyes dance with mirth as they watch my retreat.
My steps are slow and I know he will catch me, that’s part of my plan. When he said not tonight, something hot burned through me. A glimpse of everything we’ve worked for intimately now gone. He didn’t see me as weak and broken in Chicago. I need to prove that I’m not now, regardless of what has happened since then. I want to remind him of us because he’s clearly confused. He needs to see what we could be together, what we’ve been together, and how much better it can be. I don’t want all that work, all those obstacles we’ve crossed together to vanish.
Evan’s fist pounds on the door and it goes crashing against the wall. He stands there taking me in. He’s naked and gleaming with the leather belt dangling from his fist. I pray that it never clatters down on the floor and reminds me why I hate that sound.
I pant as I look at his wet cock standing taller and larger than it had been only moments ago.
“What did I tell you, gorgeous girl?”
He stalks in the room. I watch the belt swing side to side. I shiver with anticipation and excitement. He captures me and pulls me up against him.
“Harper, baby, I told you never to run from me.”
He spins me so forcefully I have to reach out to grasp the cold marble vanity. A sharp slap fires across my backside as I cry out. Fuck, that was good.
