Graham came up beside him. “He is right, Mina. It’s best not to risk it.”
“You two,” said Mina. “It scared me the first time it happened, but Tabby assured me that all expectant mothers feel such things at times. They are only a bit uncomfortable, that’s all. Nothing to worry about as long as they do not happen frequently.”
“It is better to be safe than sorry, Mina,” Simon said, echoing Graham, and he nodded at Graham to call for a servant.
“Honestly,” Mina said, crossing her arms. “I know I’ve had scares, but this is not one of them. There’s no need to bother anyone.”
Graham ignored his sister and tugged on the bell pull. Mina complained louder, but he stared at the door, awaiting a servant to answer. Moments later, a footman stepped inside.
“Fetch Dr. Clarke,” said Simon, just as Mina repeated, “There is nothing wrong.”
“Sorry, sir,” the footman said with a bow, “but there’s been a nasty outbreak of influenza that has Dr. Clarke and the rest of the physicking folk in Bristow busy. Even if I could find him, I doubt he’d be available.”
“Perfect,” said Mina, and Simon and Graham darted glances at her. Her cheeks pinked. “Not the influenza, of course, but there is no need to bother Dr. Clarke with such things. It is only a little cramp, and it’s already gone. I feel fine.”
“Then fetch Mrs. Russell,” said Simon. “She has helped before.”
Graham nodded. “It is her evening off, and she took her son home.”
Simon stood and gave the footman orders to send the carriage, all while Mina began protesting in earnest.
“Simon, you cannot think to bother the poor lady when she is at home,” said Mina. “This is silly.”
Kneeling before her, Simon took her hands in his once more, and Graham turned away from the couple, giving them a bit of privacy.
“Please,” Simon whispered. “I know you think it is nothing, but I shan’t be easy until someone looks at you.”
There was a quiet moment before Graham chanced a look at them—only to turn away at the sight of his sister kissing her husband soundly. Graham’s cheeks burned, and he cursed the fact that he could not overcome his family’s tendency towards blushing. It wasn’t as though he were unaware of the deep affection between the couple, but at times it was a bit more enthusiastic than he cared to witness. The footman stood not far from Graham with a far more passive expression, though Graham recognized a similar awkwardness lurking in the young man’s eyes.
It was a good moment later before Simon finally spoke. “Send the coachman to fetch Mrs. Russell.”
Chapter 25
Phillip poked his soup, the look on his face stating clearly how little he cared for their dinner. Likely, the boy was still moping about leaving Gladwell House, but Tabby knew it was best not to think about that place or the people inside it.
“This is delicious,” mumbled Joshua without looking at her. “Thank you for making it.”
Tabby’s eyebrows shot up at that, her spoon freezing halfway to her mouth. Joshua chanced a glance at her, and then his eyes returned to his bowl, his shoulders slumping.
“I suppose I have not said that much of late,” he said.
“Ever” would be a more accurate assessment, but Tabby wasn’t about to browbeat the man. For once, he was sober and polite, and she was in no mood to stir up trouble.
“I’ve missed having you two around,” he said. “The cottage was so empty without you here.”
Bringing his free hand around, he rested it beside his bowl. Easing it forward, he reached for her hand. Tabby watched his fingers wrapping around hers, but his touch felt as foreign as any stranger’s.
“My position doesn’t allow me home very often. I wish it were different, but as is, I have no choice in the matter,” said Tabby, her tone implying much, and Joshua’s hand retreated. She watched him, hoping for any sign that he wished to do his duty, but he dug into his soup as though she hadn’t spoken.
A knock broke the silence, and Tabby looked to Joshua, but he continued to eat. Sighing, Tabby stood and walked to the door to find the Kingsley’s coachman on her doorstep.
“Evening, ma’am,” he said with a nod. “I’ve been sent to fetch you. Mrs. Kingsley’s had another scare, and they were hoping you’d take a look at her since the physician is unavailable.”
“Of course, one moment,” she said, and he gave her a nod before returning to the horses.
Tabby moved to fetch her bonnet and spencer but halted at the somber look on Joshua’s face.
“Do you have to leave?” he asked.
“You’ve never minded my absence before,” she said. Perhaps she wasn’t entirely opposed to needling him tonight.
“Perhaps I’ve never shown it, but that does not mean I haven’t minded.” His gaze fell to the floor before he returned to his meal. The dejection in his posture pricked Tabby’s conscience. Heaven knows, she had every right to be haughty and cold, but being openly hostile brought her no peace. Drawing near, she touched his shoulder, drawing his eyes to hers.
“Mrs. Kingsley is a good woman, and if I can bring her a bit of comfort, then I feel I should go,” said Tabby. “But Phillip…”
When she turned her attention to her son, she found him asleep, his head resting on the table.
“The poor mite is exhausted,” said Tabby, walking over to crouch beside him. She ran her hand through his hair, but Phillip did not stir. “I hate to wake him.”
“Then leave him be,” said Joshua, turning his attention to his dinner once again.
Tabby nibbled her lip. It made sense to leave him home, but she hesitated.
“I can be trusted to watch over my own son, Tabby,” said Joshua. He did not look at her, but his whole body tightened.
“Can you?” Tabby replied, unable to stop the words from coming.
Joshua’s eyes narrowed, and he nodded towards the door.
Tabby stroked Phillip’s head, worrying for a brief moment that she was making a mistake, but no matter how disjointed things may lay between her and her husband, Tabby did not believe Joshua would abandon their son. And as there were no spirits in the house, Joshua would remain sober while she was gone, so there was no reason to worry.
Besides, Mina needed her. Tabby could not bear the thought of abandoning her at such a moment.
Placing a kiss on Phillip’s head, Tabby fetched her things and hurried out the door.
***
Steeling herself for what was to come, Tabby burst into the sitting room and found nothing of what she had expected. At least, not in its entirety. The first surprise was seeing Captain Ashbrook scrambling to his feet; her steps faltered for a brief moment before Tabby forced her attention away from him, though she could not stop her heart from stuttering. The second was that Mina looked more put upon than overwrought.
“Mrs. Russell,” said Mr. Kingsley, standing, though he would not move from his wife’s side. “Thank goodness you have come.”
Mina sighed, shifting on the couch, and mouthed ‘my apologies’ to Tabby.
The captain stepped towards her, ushering Tabby to Mina’s side.
“What is the matter?” she asked.
“A bit of discomfort,” said Mina. “That is all.”
“It looked a bit more than that,” Mr. Kingsley insisted. “You were doubled over.”
“How do you feel now?” asked Tabby.
“Perfect. They walked in right as the pain struck, but it went away mere seconds later, as you said it would, and there has been no sign of trouble since.”
Tabby came to sit on the sofa before Mina, unsure of what to say or do. The lady looked out of sorts, but no more than a woman in her condition was, and far more comfortable than Tabby felt at Captain Ashbrook taking the seat beside her.
“And the babe?” asked Tabby.
“As active as he ever is,” she replied as her husband returned to his seat beside her.
“She,” corrected Mr. Kingsley, lacing Mina’s arm through his
, his other hand resting on hers.
“You are going to feel quite foolish when the day arrives and you are greeted with a son,” said Mina.
Mr. Kingsley beamed, moving his hand to lay on the swell where their child rested and Mina’s joined his. For a brief moment, the two of them sat together as though she and Captain Ashbrook were not there. It was such a small thing, an innocent scene that many a couple shared together, yet the sight of it brought a deep longing that threatened to swallow Tabby whole.
She did not fault Mina for her happiness. On the contrary, it gladdened her heart to see the lady find it, but it brought memories Tabby preferred left undisturbed.
Disappointment. That is what Tabby remembered most. The unfulfilled hope of sharing such a scene with Joshua. He had been as pleased as any father at the announcement, but it was nothing to compare to Mr. Kingsley’s tender joy.
And then there was the horrific moment when that bright future had been ripped from them. There was no comforting looks or words. Only more of her joy stolen away when Joshua reached for a bottle instead of her.
Tabby gave herself a mental shake, forcing such thoughts from her head. No wallowing. No dreaming of things that could not be. It did no good.
Mr. Kingsley smiled and whispered something to his wife. It was not a particularly overt display of affection, but the intimacy in which they spoke and gazed at each other made Tabby blush and avert her own gaze to give them some privacy. Her eyes caught Captain Ashbrook’s, who looked equally uncomfortable and yet amused at the display. For a quick second, Tabby was swept into a silent moment with the gentleman, their eyes shining and cheeks pinking.
But then Tabby remembered that such moments were not for the pair of them, and she turned away.
“If the babe is moving and there have been no more pains, then there is little to fret about,” said Tabby.
“Are you certain?” asked Mr. Kingsley. “Perhaps she has been doing too much of late. If the babe were to come too early—”
Mina’s eyes widened, and Tabby interjected, “Such pains often plague expectant mothers. As long as it is not happening on a regular basis or getting worse, it is nothing out of the ordinary.”
“Calm yourself, Simon,” said Mina, patting his hand. “We are fine.”
“Perhaps you need some rest?” asked Mr. Kingsley. “Or are you hungry? Would you like some tea and cakes?”
Mina looked at Tabby, sending her a silent plea.
“You are right,” said Tabby, and Mina looked affronted to which Tabby gave her a secret wink. “A little rest will set her to rights again, so perhaps it would be best if you two give her some time alone. I promise to watch over her.”
Tabby stood, forcing the gentleman to their feet, and she began herding the nervous father-to-be out the door.
“But I should be here with her,” said Mr. Kingsley, but Captain Ashbrook interjected.
“I am positive Mrs. Russell knows what to do,” he said, sending Tabby a conspiratorial look. “A little peace and quiet will do Mina a world of good. Besides, I would love to finish our conversation.”
His tone held too much significance to be ignored, even if Tabby did not understand the underlying meaning. For a moment, her eyes connected with his, and in it, she could see more than he likely meant to share. There had been moments when she had wondered where Captain Ashbrook’s feelings lay, but there was no mistaking the depth of his regard in that look.
Mr. Kingsley gave a mild protest, but in the end, he stood in the hall with Captain Ashbrook, giving Tabby strict instructions to send word if Mina needed him. Captain Ashbrook’s eyes sparkled with mirth as he led his brother-in-law away.
Shutting the doors, Tabby stared at the wood. Captain Ashbrook had feelings for her. Tabby would not allow herself to think in terms of love, but she knew he felt something for her that was significant enough to warm her heart and sicken her stomach. The look in his eye was exactly what a woman hoped to see. But he was not her husband.
Tears came to her eyes as she pictured that lovely gentleman. However unknowingly she had raised his hopes, and now, she would be forced to crush them. Closing her eyes, Tabby steeled herself for what needed to be done.
“Oh, you are a dear,” said Mina with a sigh as Tabby joined her on the sofa. “Simon is being so sweet, but I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with his hovering.”
“You seem rather calm,” said Tabby, forcing the despair from her voice. “I expected to find you both in a dither.”
Mina smiled, waving Tabby’s worry away before resting her hands on her stomach. “We have fallen into a pattern—an unspoken agreement, of sorts. Only one of us is allowed to worry at a time. As long as one of us keeps a clear head, things never go too askew, and today is Simon’s day for fretting. I am certain in a day or two, it will be me falling to pieces and him holding me together, but for today, I am at peace with it all.”
Tabby nodded, her thoughts far from Mina’s words.
“Thank you for rescuing me,” said Mina. “I do love Simon, but I fear I do not have the energy today to handle his fretting. I know he means well, but neither he nor my dear brother would listen to a word I said. I apologize for them dragging you here on your evening off. I am certain you would rather spend it with your dear little Phillip.”
Again, Tabby nodded, swallowing and turning her eyes away to hide her tears. Blinking, she forced her heart to calm.
“I am afraid I have some rather sudden news,” said Tabby without preamble. Perhaps she could have thought of a kinder way to phrase this, but in her present state, it was difficult enough to form the necessary words. “But I must give my notice.”
Mina straightened, her face paling. “Notice?”
Tabby swallowed and forged ahead. She had money enough to pay next month’s rent and could work as a washerwoman to make ends meet until she found another position. Though Tabby hated leaving the financial security behind, she had to before the situation got any worse. Tabby would find some other way to provide for Phillip.
“Yes,” said Tabby, unsure of what more to say. The platitudes filling her head were nothing more than lies she could not utter.
“But I don’t understand,” said Mina, leaning forward. “Graham…but he…” The lady straightened again, and something in her eyes shifted. “Of course, Graham is getting better, and he shan’t need assistance for much longer. While we were awaiting your arrival, we spoke about it, and I thought it a splendid idea if you were to become my companion. With the baby coming, I shall need some assistance with matters of the estate that Mrs. Whitmore is unable to attend to. You could serve as my steward, so to speak—”
Tabby raised her hand, cutting off Mina. “I appreciate your generous offer, but I must decline. It is best for me to leave Avebury Park altogether.”
“Have you two quarreled?” she asked. “I am certain that Graham—”
“Graham—Captain Ashbrook,” Tabby corrected herself, “is not the problem.” She rubbed her head. “Yes, he is, but not in the way you think. He is a good man…” but Tabby could not continue down that path. Tears blurred her vision. Biting her lips, Tabby turned her gaze towards anything other than Mina’s pleading eyes.
The sofa shifted, and Mina moved to sit beside Tabby, taking her hand in hers. “Please, tell me what is wrong. I know that something is troubling you, and it pains me to see it. Perhaps there is something I might do to help.”
Tabby shook her head, clinging to Mina’s hands as though they were a lifeline. “There is nothing to be done to resolve this in a happy fashion.”
Shaking her head, Tabby avoided looking at Mina. Tears rolled down her cheeks, and Tabby knew that as much as she wished to keep her shame buried, this good lady deserved the truth.
“I am married,” said Tabby, meeting Mina’s eyes once more.
Mina froze as though the world had paused. “‘Am’, as in presently? As in not widowed?”
Tabby’s chin quivered as she nodded. With little prompting,
Tabby exposed the entire tale to Mina. From the moment she met Joshua to the present, she poured out her heart, aches and all. With each word, more came with it, pulling the truth from her—even the bits she had not planned to reveal. Mina sat quietly and absorbed it all. The minutes ticked away, but Tabby had no real sense of its passage as she sat there, unraveling her story. Mina drew her arm around Tabby’s shoulder, holding her together when she felt like falling apart.
“I never meant to mislead anyone,” said Tabby, turning to catch Mina’s eye. Hoping her gaze expressed the utter earnestness in her heart, she pleaded with Mina. “I swear I never said I was widowed, and I had no idea that you all believed differently until this afternoon.”
“Of course not,” said Mina. “We all made assumptions.”
“And you did not guess that my husband was a good for nothing whose selfishness drove me to seek employment rather than fulfilling his duty himself?” asked Tabby. Though the question was not particularly humorous, there was something about it and the situation that drew a chuckle from her, though it bordered more on hysterical than humorous.
Mina kept an arm around Tabby, but her free hand rose to her temple, rubbing it. “Oh, you poor thing. You have not had an easy time of it, have you?”
“And as much as I would love to stay, I cannot,” said Tabby. “I sent out inquiries about another position, but it is clear that Captain Ashbrook…” She swallowed past the lump in her throat. “That he is developing feelings for me.”
“There is no developing, Tabby,” whispered Mina, closing her eyes and shaking her head. “He is in love with you. Just before you arrived, he was speaking of his plans to marry you.”
Tabby’s stomach felt as though someone had dropped a lead weight into it, and she covered her mouth with her hands. She could picture it. See it all in vivid detail. That quirk of a smile of his on his lips. The sparkle in his eyes. But more than that, Tabby saw it all vanish when he discovered the truth of her situation.
She would give anything to undo the past, to erase it all so that he would not be crushed by this. If only she had been more vocal about her husband. If only she had been more forthright. If only she had never come to Avebury Park. But even as she wished it, pain pricked her soul at the thought of never having met this incredible man. And buried under all that self-loathing, there was the barest hint of delight at the knowledge that such a gentleman loved her.
A True Gentleman (Regency Love Book 2) Page 20
