She had thought of nothing else since last night. And she had realised that she was simply not the kind of woman Iain would want as a wife. Why else would a man refuse all that she had offered?
‘I have a number of tendencies that offend men—my interest in education and learning, my outspokenness, even my appearance,’ she said.
‘Your appearance?’ he asked, while examining her from head to toe. Warmth surged through her at his perusal. ‘What is wrong with your appearance?’
She told him what she’d heard while sitting in the alcove outside the ballroom on the upper floor. ‘I look too Scottish, and not as fair and pale as a good English lady should be.’
He muttered under his breath then, and part of it was not polite. ‘Who said that to you?’
‘It matters not. It is only one of my flaws. The other comments were that I speak with too much of an accent and that I intimidate men with my intellectual accomplishments. There is not a man among the guests who would consider me a suitable wife if it were not for the settlement that Trey offers and the connections such a marriage would bring.’
Although she’d planned this to be a discussion about him, she’d just revealed her biggest fear—she would end up marrying a man who cared not a wit for her, but would do so only for the money and connections she brought. And, though this was clearly acceptable in Society, she had never thought she would be subjected to such a marriage. Poor Julia Fairchild, raised in Edinburgh by her sister, would never have had to worry over such things. But the Julia whose sister was now a countess, the wife of one of the most powerful men in the kingdom, did.
‘Julia, you cannot seriously think that?’ Iain asked, shaking his head.
She’d revealed more than she’d planned, and now the insecurity within her grew and made her uncomfortable. ‘I find I am fatigued after all, Iain.’ She held out the book and nodded. ‘My thanks again for such a thoughtful gift.’
Julia stepped around him and walked to the door. This time he followed her and stood close beside her.
‘You will find a man who cares about you, Julia. Fear not, and do not let your unease make you worry.’
He paused and looked above them. There was yet another sprig of mistletoe, hanging over their heads. Luckily no one was there to see it, so they were not forced to kiss again.
His lips on hers surprised her, as did his hands on her shoulders, holding her still. He did not stop at just a polite and expected kiss. No, he tilted his face and covered her mouth with his, claiming her and teasing her lips until she opened to him. When she did, he moved his tongue, and she could taste him even as he did her. It was just as her hands crept up to encircle his back that her name rang out from above stairs.
They jumped back away from each other in a fraction of a second, and then looked up at the mistletoe. ‘Is it my imagination, or is the mistletoe increasing throughout the house?’ he asked.
She did not wait to answer. Julia scooted around him and walked quickly to the stairs, climbing them without ever looking back. She’d never thought herself a coward until just then, but she was not willing to ask the rest of her question about marriage—why did he not want her as a wife?
Chapter Ten
The next days passed quickly as everyone planned their gowns for the Twelfth Night Ball. Anna had made certain to have enough help and materials on hand for any sewing needs. Some of the women had brought appropriate gowns with them; some would dress up their current gowns with fripperies and decorations provided by Anna’s seamstresses. The men would be suitably handsome in their evening clothes as well.
As the Christmas season wound down, she knew that Julia and Iain were no closer to resolving their attraction than at their first meeting a few weeks before. Anna and Clarinda had spoken on the matter. Anna and Trey had spoken, even Robert and Clarinda had shared their thoughts and concerns. The only person who’d not spoken on the matter was Julia.
Trey had revealed the incident that had occurred just after Julia’s recovery, but her sister had still not shared her own feelings in the situation with her. Until she was certain of her sister’s heart and mind Anna could go no further, and would allow no other interference.
The mistletoe had gotten out of hand. It seemed that the entire household spent more time kissing under it than doing anything else! Her idea of making it possible for Iain to court Julia without Julia’s realising it had taken a different turn as Anna watched the passion between them grow. But even when she’d ordered the servants not to place any more it still appeared, and appeared—more frequently in more rooms.
Since Iain would leave in a day or two, Anna knew she needed to find out the truth about what existed between these two. She could not force them together, but no two people—other than possibly herself and Trey—were more perfect for each other. Fear and pride seemed to keep them apart, but what could bring them together?
It was the morning of the ball when she received the answer and guidance she needed. Watching her sons playing hide-and-seek with their older sister in the alcove next to the ballroom, she knew exactly what she would do.
He was miserable again. Standing here, watching Julia as the Queen of Twelfth Night while another man stood as King, was killing him. But it was her future, and he would not be part of it. They had reached a comfortable peace between them this last week, never speaking of anything too personal and never being alone together. But that did not mean they did not spend time together, and he’d kissed her more than a dozen more times because of the strange appearance of mistletoe boughs all throughout Wesley Hall.
Now, though, Lady Sutcliffe’s son had found the bean within his piece of cake and was serving as King, immediately choosing Julia as his Queen. She’d sat next to him at dinner, and then danced several times with him, making Iain want to drag her away and beat the man for ever presuming that she could be his.
Knowledge of the stupidity of that notion was not long in coming, and his common sense and control kept him from beating the man senseless. Not from the wanting to do it, though.
Just when he thought he could take no more, when the sight of her on another man’s arm was eating him from the inside out, his uncle called him aside. Rather than try to talk over the music, Robert led him out into the hall and down to a small alcove where they could speak.
‘Do you still plan to leave on the morrow, Iain?’ he asked when he’d drawn the curtain to give them some privacy.
‘Unless you have some other need for me to be here, sir,’ Iain answered.
‘Do you have anything you wish to say about Julia?’ Robert asked him.
Iain let out a breath and shook his head. ‘No, sir.’
‘That is all you can say? “No, sir”.’
Iain dragged his hand through his hair. ‘I do not know what you expect, Uncle. I do not want someone in my care when I cannot even take care of myself. I cannot endanger someone I love because of my shortcomings.’
‘Someone you love?’ he asked. ‘If you love her, then how can you leave her behind for some other man to snatch up?’
‘Uncle, it is exactly because of the love I feel for her that I will do it. I cannot live every day with the dread of thinking I could in some way cause her harm, or at the least not be able to keep her from it.’
His uncle shook his head. ‘Do you not think that I live in fear of something happening to your aunt or our children after seeing what happened to you and your parents? I lost a beloved brother in that accident, and his wife, and nearly his son that day. To this day, every time I put Clarinda or the children in a carriage my heart seizes and I can hardly breathe.’
‘What?’ Iain asked, shocked at such a disclosure. ‘I did not know.’
‘Your father would not want me to let fear ruin and run my life, and he certainly would not want it to rule yours, Iain. So, every day, when I want to drag Clarinda out of a carriage for fear of what might happen, I think of your parents and let her go.’
Before he could reply, he heard v
oices approaching outside the alcove. When he would have opened the curtain to reveal their presence, his uncle stopped him with a gesture.
‘It is cooler out here, Anna,’ Julia said. ‘Would you like me to get you something to drink?’
‘No, I just need a few moments away from the crowd and the heat. Come, sit with me.’ Iain could tell that they had sat on a small couch positioned across the corridor from where he and his uncle stood.
‘Will you be glad when everyone leaves in the next few days, Anna? I know that it has been a difficult pregnancy so far, and you must long for some peace and quiet,’ Julia said.
‘I will be glad when I know that you are settled, Julia. I had hoped you would speak your heart and mind to me, so that I would know how to proceed.’
‘Anna, I will marry whoever you think I should marry,’ Julia said, her voice sinking low. ‘I will accept your guidance in this.’
‘I did not and do not ask you to simply follow my wishes, Julia. I know you are not happy about this, and I know you do not share your heart’s truest feelings with me. I only ask that you do now, so that I can know what to do.’
‘My heart’s wishes matter not, Anna. He does not love me enough to take me to wife.’
She spoke of him. Iain turned, wanting to say something to her, but his uncle stopped him once more.
‘He does not trust me or his heart enough, and so he cannot accept what I offer him.’
The words sounded sad, but resigned. He needed to tell her that it was his failing and not hers, but she continued.
‘I thought I could be the wife he needed, but I am not that woman.’
‘Julia, I think he does not want to take you away from all you could have and all you could do. Could you be happy if you did not travel or did not go to balls and move in society as you have for the last few years under Trey’s sponsorship?’
‘Anna, I have done most of that for you. I would do anything you asked of me for I owe you so much! I know what you did to see Aunt Euphemia and I safe and protected. I know the price you paid for that.’ Julia paused as Anna gasped at her words. ‘I would honour such cost by accepting your wishes over mine.’
‘But I want only your happiness and security, Julia. I do not expect you to give up your dreams and the man you love simply to suit my wishes.’
Iain held his breath, waiting for Julia to answer, but it did not happen. Instead his aunt called out, and the two women left the corridor. His uncle pushed the curtain aside, and they watched as Anna and Julia followed his aunt back into the ballroom.
His uncle placed his hand on Iain’s shoulder. ‘So, Iain, will you allow fear to rule your life? Will you forsake the woman you love and who loves you because you are afraid of what could happen?’
Robert walked around him and back into the ballroom before Iain could say a word.
He’d had no idea about how his uncle felt, and how much fear had changed their lives. Yet his uncle was strong enough to live and to face that fear every single day of his life. For the last four years Iain had lived in fear—in fear of dying, afraid to live, afraid of pain, afraid of not feeling anything. Worse, he was afraid to let love into his heart for fear he would lose it.
Julia had offered him her heart and her love—was she strong enough to help him face the fears he lived with? Would she remain at his side and help him to stand every time he fell? Was he man enough to let her close to him and then face the fear that he might lose her?
No matter what, he knew he could not face a life without her. But would she still accept him? There was only one thing he could do.
Walking slowly back into the ballroom, he found the Earl and begged a favour of him. Then he made his way to where Julia now sat with the ‘King’, and waited for the moment.
The musicians paused, and then another dance was called—this time a waltz. He watched her face, and saw the confusion there as he approached her. Iain bowed before her and then, in a simple gesture that would change his life, held out his hand to her.
He prayed that she understood—that she knew he was asking for so much more than just this dance, that he was offering himself, with all his limitations and his flaws. That he was asking for her heart and her love.
Her eyes filled with tears, but she blinked them away before smiling at him. She let her love pour forth as she rose from her chair and nodded. Instead of waiting for him to lead in the steps, she positioned herself to take the lead in most of the dance’s movements. As he stepped closer, placed his hand on her waist and lifted her other in his, she laughed softly and changed them, so that she was holding his waist.
‘Do not worry, Iain,’ she whispered to him. ‘I have you now.’
That first step was the most difficult one he’d taken in his life, for it meant trusting her with himself. Trusting her not to let him fall. Trusting her not to laugh at his efforts. Trusting her to love him as much as he loved her.
Once he got past that, the rest of the dance was easy. And if he did not move smoothly through the pace of the dance, if they did not keep in time with the vigorous music, if they said a word or not during the entire dance, neither seemed to notice—for they were too busy falling the rest of the way in love to fear such things again.
Anna leaned against Trey and felt tears begin to burn her eyes and her throat. He wrapped his arm around her, heedless of the heads that turned at such a blatant display of affection for his wife.
‘I told you he would do it,’ Trey offered.
‘I told you,’ Anna countered.
‘I was the one who told you they would work this out,’ Clarinda said as she and Robert approached.
‘But I was the one who suggested using the alcove,’ Robert said.
They laughed together, and stood watching Anna’s beloved sister and Robert’s nephew take their first real steps in the dance of love that would take them through life. Although Iain faltered once or twice, it was clear that Julia was indeed holding him up. Anna knew they would do well together, and now that she knew Julia’s heart she had no second thoughts or misgivings about them.
‘What I do not understand, though, is the mistletoe. I told the servants to take it down, yet it continued to be replaced. And even more added every day.’ Anna looked at her husband and friends, trying to determine which of them had decided that more mistletoe kisses would help bring the two young people together. ‘So which of you is responsible?’
They all appeared shocked at her allegations—until someone cleared her throat behind them. Turning, they discovered Aunt Euphemia, watching them watching the couple waltzing.
‘Even I could tell they only needed a small push, Anna. It was not only old married couples who could see the love they had for each other.’ Anna watched as her aunt adjusted her looking glass and nodded. ‘I knew it when they were children. Anyone with eyes in their head could see it. It just took some time to work out.’
‘And some mistletoe?’ she asked, wondering if her aunt had done anything else to encourage Iain and Julia.
‘Kisses under the mistletoe at Christmas are simply the best, don’t you think?’
Anna looked from her aunt—her maiden aunt, who’d never spoken of kissing before—to her husband, who had been enjoying the effects of the mistletoe as well, and smiled.
‘Yes, Aunt Euphemia. Mistletoe kisses are wonderful.’
ISBN: 978-1-4268-2427-2
ONE CANDLELIT CHRISTMAS
Copyright © 2008 by Harlequin Books S.A.
The publisher acknowledges the copyright holders of the individual works as follows:
CHRISTMAS WEDDING WISH
Copyright © 2008 by Janet Justiss
THE RAKE’S SECRET SON
Copyright © 2008 by Annie Burrows
BLAME IT ON THE MISTLETOE
Copyright © 2008 by Theresa S. Brisbin
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or ot
her means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
® and TM are trademarks of the publisher. Trademarks indicated with ® are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office, the Canadian Trade Marks Office and in other countries.
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Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
One Candlelit Christmas Page 25
