by Jaclyn Lewis
I remembered the first time I ever saw him, the first day of my freshman year.
I could barely see through my broken glasses—Mari had bent the frames and a lens was cracked. She then had sprayed her strong perfume in my eyes, figuring out how much I hated the scent. It was the kind that made me feel like gagging.
She got on the bus, the same one I was headed toward. ICING ON THE FREAKING CAKE!!!!
I got on behind her, hoping she didn’t notice I rode that bus too.
I sat down in the front seat and looked out the window, trying to keep the tears from my eyes. I was angry at not only Mari, but also my parents for moving us here for no good reason. I didn’t have any friends at my other school, but it was better than this place. Anywhere was better than this place.
“Are you okay?” a voice asked me.
I looked up and saw my new bus driver. He was younger than any bus driver I’d ever had, looking twenty or younger.
I just shrugged and turned back to the window. I didn’t want to talk to someone who didn’t care. I could do that at home.
“You can talk to me, you know.” he said, gesturing to my glasses and red eyes, which were red because I’d been crying silently. “I’ll listen to you if you want to tell me.”
He was the first person to say that to me, even if he meant something different, something less important. He said he would listen, and that was what I really needed: someone to listen. My heart swelled at the thought of finally finding someone who would actually listen to me.
I nodded, my eyes filling with tears.
“I’m Mo,” he introduced. “What’s your name?”
“Amy.” I whispered, barely audibly. My voice was hoarse, and it felt strange to hear it—I never really heard my voice because I used it so rarely.
All of the sudden, Mari walked to the front of the bus and plopped down in the seat next to mine, the one behind Mo.
“Hello,” she said, batting her eyelashes. She made me so angry, and I could practically taste my fury at her.
“Go back to your seat,” Mo answered, not even bothering to look at her. I could feel his boredom and annoyance that was directed at her.
She scowled, but found her target. She looked over at me. “All I wanted was to talk to Amy. We’re friends. Right, Amy? I mean, you were so popular today!” she smirked at me, waiting a few seconds. “Oh, I’m sorry! I forgot you can’t speak!”
She smirked again and waited eagerly for me to snap. All day she’d done this to me, ever since I’d met her earlier that morning. She’d never heard me talk, and she’d made it her mission to make me angry enough to just snap. I was close, but there was no way I would ever give her that satisfaction. I’d had years of practice keeping silent.
“Go back to your seat,” Mo said, seeming really annoyed, “before I kick you off this bus.” From the way he said it, I could tell he was completely serious. I had to hold back a smile at the thought of him kicking her off. I was really enjoying that thought.
She could tell he was serious too. To cover it up, she smiled evilly. “Fine, whatever,” she muttered. She got up and left, whispering a “loser” to me as she walked.
My face turned red with anger, I was ready to charge at her when Mo talked again.
“Do you talk?” He started driving.
“Rarely,” I answered truthfully.
We were both silent then. When it was my stop, he spoke again. “Why did you talk to me?”
“You said I could.”
“Did you meet that new kid? Andrew?” Mo asked, startling me and pulling me away from the memory.
I nodded, raising my eyebrows.
“What!? I can know these things!” he paused. “And he’s my nephew.” I remembered then that he had an older sister or something—they were over sixteen years apart. I’d never met her, but he talked about her sometimes. They weren’t very close though.
He saw my surprise and laughed. “Yep,” he confirmed, looking even more amused.
I laughed too. It felt strange, but I was glad. Maybe, just maybe, I was becoming more normal. Of course, normal was such a longshot. Hopefully, I was becoming less of a freak.
As I looked, I could see the similarities. They both had the same shade of hair—Andrew’s was just longer. Mo’s eyes were a tiny bit lighter. They had the same skin tone and the same sharp features.
“Got any others?” I asked, surprising him by saying more than one word at a time. Zane was the main thing behind the question, but I still didn’t know why I’d asked. Of course there were others! Zane is another nephew if he was Andrew’s brother.
After a second, he answered, “Nope, just Andrew.”
I felt the lie. It was clear as day. I could feel the truth, and that wasn’t it. It made me angry and confused. Mo had never lied to me before, not once in four years.
I didn’t speak to him again for the rest of the bus ride, not really wanting to know what else he was lying about.
I got off the bus thinking about everything Zane had said at lunch. Was Mo somehow related in all of this? Was he good or bad? I suspected he was with Andrew, since he said Andrew was his only nephew. I didn’t really like that idea.
I trusted Mo, and I only just met Andrew and Zane. I wasn’t going to stop trusting him yet, even if he lied to me once.
Yet being the main word—I was fully prepared to take away that gift that isn’t easily given to people.
Even if Mo was the only human being I trusted, I could take away the trust faster than anyone I knew, and I could go on never talking to him ever again.
Chapter 2
I felt so comfortable in my bed that night. It was like… It was like I felt free or something. I felt more right than I had in my entire life.
The next morning though, I felt really strange.
When I opened my eyes, things looked different. It was like I was looking through a twisted piece of glass, and I could see in all directions, even up and down, at the same time. It was so bizarre.
As I looked around, I realized that my body was gone. I felt everything like normal, just weirder.
I screamed, but the air just moved, not making a sound. I moved around frantically, but nothing was doing anything. Wind from inside my room was moving papers and moving clothes. I wanted to just wake up from this horrible nightmare.
Even though it was strange, I felt more energized for some reason.
Then, everything was normal. I looked around, the recent energy I’d just had was gone, and I knew my imagination was getting worse. This wasn’t the first time a event has happened to me, but this was the first time I imagined I had no body, while I was floating in the air, weightless.
I was just lying on my bed now, like I’d just woken up—I’d never moved or anything. I sighed in relief, hoping it wouldn’t happen again.
It was futile. I knew it would happen to me again. Strange, unexplainable things never appeared in my life only once.
I shook my head and got up, not wanting to be late for school.
I ate a quick breakfast of cereal, and I hurried back to the bathroom and gave my teeth a good scrub. Then I tried to get my hair looking… not like a rat’s nest and then I ran out the door.
I decided to walk to school. I had enough time and I didn’t really want to see Mo, since I knew he’d want me to talk to him.
I just walked, feeling the sun warming my face. I also heard birds in the distance, singing songs that only they could understand.
Before I knew it, I was at school.
“Be careful.” I heard as I walked into the building. I knew I was imagining that voice again, and I knew that if I said anything, I’d be put in a mental hospital… again. Just kidding, I was never really crazy, just strange. Yes, I was a bit mentally… abnormal? I guess that was a good enough word to describe my psychotic mind. It just wasn’t bad enough that I was a threat to myself or others, so they had no reason to put me in one.
Why am I thinking about this? I thought as I
walked down the familiar hallways. I shook my head and laughed at myself. I grinned as I walked, catching some curious looks. Amy Saunders never looked happy in school. That’s what they probably all thought; that I couldn’t be happy or something.
That was when Andrew appeared out of nowhere, causing me to replace my smile with an indifference mask. He fell in step beside me. “Hey, Amy,” he greeted me, stressing my name just like he’d done earlier.
I waved once but kept walking, staying indifferent to him. He never told me I could talk to him, or even said he would listen. It wouldn’t be hard to stay silent—I did it all the time. Plus, I didn’t even like him, and it was easier to stay silent to people you didn’t really like. There was just something in his eyes that just screamed that he was up to no good.
“I want to talk to you about some stuff. Will you sit with me at lunch?” he asked, barely audible. He was also looking around, seeing if other kids were witnessing the fact that he was speaking to me. A few kids looked his way, and he grinned at them, mouthing something I didn’t catch to them. I was sure it was about me, by the way they laughed.
I shook my head and kept walking, refusing to look at him. He felt like danger and anger, and those were the two things I could see in his eyes. Those two things were never a good mix, even though I really couldn’t feel his emotions like I could with everyone else, but he couldn’t hide them from his eyes. No matter how much he wanted to, no matter how much he thought he hid, I could see his intentions were terrible, and that he wasn’t a good person.
I didn’t want to trust him, especially since the voice was whispering warnings to me again. “Good. Walk away and don’t talk to him. Don’t trust him, Amy. He’ll use you and then kill you once he gets what he wants. I promise.”
I shuddered at the thought, earning a few more curious looks, but I continued walking. I was horrified, but I covered it up with that same indifference mask that I’d just used when I walked passed Andrew. It was also the one I used on everyone, which was why so many students thought it was freaky to see me shudder in horror or laugh at something random or even at nothing at all. They never really saw me show much emotion.
Okay, yeah…I could see how I was labeled as a freak. It wasn’t that hard to figure it out. I was a freak, but I was used to my freakish nature.
Only the people that knew me would know that it was just a mask, but no one really knew me, not even Mo or my parents, and I didn’t really have any friends unless I counted Mo. No one really knew Amy Saunders.
I wasn’t even sure if Amy Saunders knew herself… because even I didn’t know Amy Saunders.
***
Two weeks passed with the voices continuing. Andrew kept trying to get me to talk, but he never said the words to let me trust him enough to speak. He never even really went out of his way to be nice to me, so since he was always trying to be around me, I was kind of annoyed.
I was just staying away from him altogether, especially when he’d suddenly give me an eerie smile, like he knew something I didn’t, but I’d find out soon. I felt like something was going to happen, and it frightened me and made me curious.
My strange dreams also continued, where I was seeing through a twisted lens and I had no body. They were so realistic, I was sure I was losing it again. I felt normal, but all of the extra stuff was begging to differ. I was obviously having issues.
When I was up in my room today, doing homework, the notorious voice pestered me again. I’d enjoyed the voices when I was, like, eight, but now… I just wanted it to go away.
Usually, there would be two: one threatening to murder me in terrible, horrifying ways, and the other was always quick to assure me that it would protect me.
“Be careful,” it said now. I was getting tired of those two words. “He could be watching you at any time, any moment, any second. Even now, he could be watching and plotting.” Then it was just gone, as if nothing had happened.
I sighed from frustration. I threw my hands up in exasperation. “Will you just show yourself or something? I’m getting so sick of this! If I’m going crazy, just tell me!” It was the most I’d spoken in a while, and it kind of hurt a little bit, especially since I’d practically screamed it.
I was going crazy. There was no doubt about it.
Well, I was crazy already, but I was really losing my mind now!
I sighed again and looked back down at my homework. It was easy, so it was hard not to let my mind wander to more important topics.
I couldn’t stop thinking about the Mo/Andrew/Zane thing. It was all connected somehow. It confused, intrigued, and scared me all at the same time, but it was interesting and mysterious and very hard to stop thinking about.
Then I saw movement out of the corner of my eye.
Chapter 3
I looked up, scared out of my mind, and he held his hands up in surrender, like he meant me no harm. “Hey, you told me to show myself!”
I almost screamed from the terror of having Andrew appear, but then I looked into his eyes. They were green eyes. It was Zane, the guy I hadn’t heard from since the day at lunch. Since the day he told me Andrew would kill me, he’d disappeared without a trace. I hadn’t heard from him or of him since. It was like he never existed in the first place.
I glared at him, annoyed and freaked out at having a near stranger in my room, especially since he just appeared.
He smiled, concentrating on something. “Sorry, I would have talked to you in person sooner, but it’s hard to hold this form. It’s not my natural state.”
My eyes widened at his words, and I lost my unimpressive and not-very-horrifying glare.
Now he was going to do this again!? Why didn’t he just get to the point instead of confusing me?
He shook his head, laughing softly. “That must have sounded really weird.” He began to laugh harder. “I don’t even know what you are even thinking right now. A guy that you talked to once for ten minutes suddenly appears in your room, right out of thin air and says something about natural states,” he gasped out between his uneven breaths from laughing so hard.
I just stared at him, not sure what to think. He did have a point. Who just appears in a girl’s room like that and says nothing but gibberish?
That was when I chuckled a little with him. Then I rearranged my expression to a better, more indifferent one. It was hard—his laughter was so contagious.
Finally, he began to breathe normally again, and he regained his composure, but he couldn’t hide the faint amusement that was still in his eyes. He tried to act more seriously. “Okay, I wanted to talk to you about all of this, since you’re probably really confused and contemplating on your mental stability." He paused. “Will you listen to what I have to say?”
I had to think about that. Yes, it meant answers, but Zane was still a stranger to me. I didn’t know anything about him besides his obvious ability to stalk me while being invisible, and he was in my freaking room, for crying out loud!
Finally, the thought of getting some answers won, so I nodded, not wanting to talk just yet.
“Will you talk to me? You know I’ll always listen.” Zane said softly. It was as if he’d read my mind and found my distrust.
I sighed, but nodded. I didn’t really trust him, but he did seem like a nice guy. What would it hurt to say a word or two? He’d already tried to gain my trust by saying stuff that he knew would get me to consider words.
He smiled. “Okay, I’m going to be saying some pretty crazy stuff, so bear with me, okay? Keep your mind open to the possibilities.”
I nodded again, but I was still wary.
“Promise me,” Zane insisted.
“I promise.” I whispered, not knowing what else to do. At least I was getting answers. I needed those answers.
He sighed, relieved. He looked like he’d expected a fight out of me, which made me smile a bit. “Good.” He sat down in my chair that was in the corner. He swirled his fingers, and I instantly heard the lock on my door tur
n.
My eyes widened in confusion, but he’d said he would be saying some crazy stuff, so I guessed these special gifts fell in with all of it too.
He already had me confused before he even started. I hid my confusion as I waited for him to begin. I had a mask of indifference in place, concealing all my emotions, hiding them from the world.
Then I decided to ask a question of my own before he began. “Why does your name sound so familiar?”
He shrugged. “Common name,” he replied.
“How’d you get in here?” I asked.
He smiled. “I’ll get there in a minute.”
“Why are you even here?”
He sighed. “I’ll tell you when I’m explaining everything.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Wow, thanks for giving me nothing!”
He looked back at me and began, forgetting what I’d just said. “I’m not human."
My mouth dropped open as I stared at him in horror, but I couldn’t speak.
“I’m what you would call a Leem from the planet Ellem, which is kind of like humans on Earth with the superior species of the planet and all. We are so far from Earth that no one would ever find us unless they knew we were there already, which they don’t.”
My hands curled up into tight fists and I felt dizzy.
He stopped talking, thinking about how it was best to continue. "Queen Samira is the queen of the entire planet, and she's really good at what she does… fair and nice… but she also knows how to run everything perfectly without being too nice. If she was too nice, everyone would get away with everything. She’s one of the most powerful Leem on the planet, but not quite the most powerful.”
He paused again, looking like he didn’t want to continue, but he knew he would have to explain it all to me. “There are still some people who don’t want her—they just don’t like her. They plotted against everything they had ever learned and lived for, and they’re trying to take over the crown.”
I shook my head, trying not to think about what he was saying, but I couldn’t find it in me to speak.
