by Jaclyn Lewis
She just stared at me. She didn’t say anything about how it wasn’t true, that she did love me. I wanted more than anything for her to say something.
She just stared at me, silent as a stone.
I hardened my expression and walked out.
I went out the front door and slammed it shut behind me.
I didn’t even think about Zane until after I’d already walked down the driveway.
He’d followed in his Air form, coming from under the door. We walked like that, just me and him, until we finally made it back to the apartment building.
When we got inside his apartment, I sat down on the couch, tears blurring my vision. “I can’t believe it.”
Zane sat down next to me, now in his human form, and he began to rub my back, trying to calm the sobs that had begun to shake my body violently.
“I’m not going to say that it’s okay… because it really isn’t,” he said after a few minutes. “She should have thought about you and tried to find you. She should have cared.”
“That’s it, isn’t it? A bunch of stuff ‘should’ be that way, but it isn’t, not with me.” I looked at my hands, softening my tone so it didn’t sound so harsh. “She didn’t even ask about the burns or bruises. She only talked about my hair.” I looked back at Zane with blurry vision, smiling slightly despite my crappy attitude. “Thanks for cutting out the knots and burned hair, by the way.”
He just shrugged, looking worried for me.
He was really the only person that cared for me at all. My dad was dead, Mom would rather die than say anything nice to me, my stepdad despised me, and Andrew was still out there waiting to kill me. I hadn’t done anything to any of them to deserve such treatment.
After a few minutes, I was able to stop crying.
Then I went into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I wanted to see all of what Mom had seen when she’d looked at me.
I looked horrid. One of my cheeks had a burn that looked like it was in the shape of a hand, Andrew’s doing; the other one had a bruise from when Dad had hit me. It had faded some, but it was still visible because it had been hit again and again while I was gone. My hair really didn’t look that bad. I liked it better like that; it was a new me. The old me was gone forever.
While I looked at my reflection, I thought about Mom and Dad. Well, I thought about Mom and my stepdad.
I knew I’d have to go back to that house.
I just didn’t want to.
***
I’d decided to move out. I was going to live in an apartment or something. I didn’t know… I just wanted to be free from that house, to never go back and see the two people that were only slightly less brutal than Andrew Ellen himself.
The thought made me cringe.
***
I was standing outside the front door. I really didn’t want to go inside and face her. She was there; I knew she was there. It was like I could feel her inside, and plus, her car was in the driveway.
I didn’t have a choice, though. If I was going to leave, I needed my stuff.
I took a deep breath and opened the door. I stepped inside and looked around. I didn’t see any sign of anyone.
I shrugged, not caring in the slightest, and went upstairs, ready to bag up all of my meager belongings.
On my bed was a note. I stared at it for a minute before I could finally get myself to read it. I knew it wouldn’t say anything good.
Amy,
I’m sorry that I forgot your birthday, but you didn’t have to make up some stupid little sob story about you being kidnapped and tortured mercilessly. I know I don’t give you very much attention, but that doesn’t mean you can burn yourself and cut your hair and say stupid stuff and ramble on about how you were tortured. I still won’t change my working habits, but this has got to stop. If you want to run away and move out, fine. It’s your decision now that you’re legally an adult. I was going to kick you out anyway when you graduated. I would have kicked you out sooner if it wasn’t illegal. You’re too big of a problem and you always will be.
Just stay away if you’re moving out. Terrance definitely is tired of you being here.
-Mom
I stared at the paper, my jaw dropped. She’d thought I’d just made up some story for attention?!? What kind of mother does that? I’d been gone for two weeks!
She never really loved or cared for me. I was just a pain in her side.
I crumpled the paper and threw it.
After a minute of fuming, I began to pack up my stuff.
I didn’t have very much, so it didn’t take very long. I had all of my favorite outfits and a few pictures of my childhood. I also had a few of my favorite decorations and books.
When I was finished, I went back downstairs.
Zane was standing in the doorway. “Need some help?” he asked, gesturing to the duffle bag with my few belongings.
I nodded and handed it to him. I cleared my throat. “Mom… she thought I’d made up the whole kidnapping thing. She wrote me a note that said I didn’t need to burn myself to get her attention.”
He looked horrified. “Who would make up something as big as that?
I shrugged. “I don’t know. She just didn’t want to believe me.”
He nodded and motioned for me to walk out the door. “Well, you can leave now, and you never have to come back..”
I smiled and nodded.
I loved my mother, but she just didn’t love me back, and she didn’t care about me. It hurt, a lot, but I still loved her. No matter what, that wouldn’t change, but I was done with her hurting me.
I walked outside and took in the fresh air, feeling free. I threw my hands in the air and screamed what I felt.
“I’M FREE!”
Zane laughed and shook his head. “You’re hilarious.”
I smiled. “Yeah, and you’re an alien. What else is new?”
That just made him laugh harder.
Then we raced back to the apartment building.
He won.
Chapter 13
Zane
When we got to the house, we just sat on the couch, playing a card game.
“Here's a four,” I said, playing a seven face-down.
She smiled her beautiful, innocent smile, but then unexpectedly said, “Liar.”
I glared at her jokingly. “Are you sure?”
She nodded, looking positive. “You’re not a very good liar.”
I groaned as I picked up the stack, sticking the cards in with the one’s I already had in my hands.
She’d gotten me every time I’d tried to fool her, and I didn’t even know how many times she’d lied and gotten away with it. It was impossible to see through her poker-face.
“One five,” she said, putting a card face-down in between us.
“Liar!” I shouted, pointing at her.
She grinned and took the card, showing me the number, and sure enough, it was a five.
“Crap,” I muttered as I snatched the card from her hand.
She looked triumphant as I lied on my next turn, seeing if she would catch me.
Of course she did. Amy’s eyes missed nothing, and they could easily see through my crappy poker face.
After losing for the fourth time, I threw my cards down. “I hate these stupid human games!”
“Yeah, sure you do,” Amy said, grinning.
“Hey, what are you smiling at?” I asked, feigning irritation.
“You,” she said matter-of-factly.
I crossed my arms over my chest. “I don’t want to talk to you anymore, Amelia Saunders.”
I then turned into air.
She grinned and stared right at me before joining me in Air form.
“You know, I’m part Leem now, so I can see you when you’re in your Air form,” she whispered.
If I had eyes, I would have rolled them.
“I know,” I replied, amused. “It just brings back the memories of the good ole days!”
> We both turned back into human form, continuing on with the card games.
Dang… I just couldn’t beat that girl.
She was amazing, more so than, I knew, she’d never give herself credit for.
After we were both bored of the card games, we moved on to checkers, then chess, and then tic-tac-toe. I ended up losing at everything except for chess.
I was just better at strategizing, since it was what I’d used to do for a living.
Before I’d met Amy that is…
Amy had become my job when I was eighteen by Earth years. I looked nine when I was in my human form, but the human form was so much more painful at that time, since I was so unused to it.
Then I’d seen Amy as a little baby, and I saw the joy on her mother’s face when she held her daughter.
But the day after Amy was born, her real father died, the most powerful Leem in existence.
Amy’s mom had cried and cried and became an emotional wreck. Every time she looked at Amy, she saw the love of her life that she'd lost. She couldn't take it.
Then she’d slipped on the same indifferent mask that I’d seen Amy wear so many times.
Her mother had gotten remarried to the first guy she saw on the streets.
She’d given Amy attention in the beginning, but as Amy grew, she could see the resemblance between Amy and her father. Then her new husband quit his job, and she got another one, staying away from the house and the memories it brought. She never wanted to go home, and she decided that being away from Amy was what was best. She loved her, but couldn't be around her.
Then years went by, and she started to really not think about her little girl at all, and then that little girl grew up and it was too late. Her mother was gone and replaced by a zombie, and Amy was old enough to be on her own.
I shook away the thoughts of the past and laughed as Amy lost another round of chess and she had that silly, adorable pout.
“Round fifteen?” she asked.
I laughed again and nodded. Note for the future: Amy was terrible at chess. Well, worse than me, anyway.
Chapter 14
Amy
I’d decided to move into Zane’s apartment. Okay, I knew that would be awkward and totally scandalous if it had been under normal circumstances, but these weren’t normal circumstances.
Zane had also begged me. He was afraid that Andrew would find me again if I’d gotten my own place. My living with him was saving him a lot of going back and forth, and it was saving me money.
And it wasn’t like we were in some romantic relationship or anything. We were just friends.
The day after I’d gotten home from my old house, Zane wanted to distract me a little bit by turning on the television.
It worked, and we got to just relax.
After a few hours, when we were watching the evening news, a story caught our attention.
“Maria Saunders was found dead in her kitchen this morning. Her husband, Terrance Saunders, had come home only to find her lying on the floor with a knife in her chest. We don’t know if it was suicide or homicide,” they said.
I sat up, looking at the picture of my mom that was on the screen.
Dead…
I remembered going over for my stuff. The house had been empty, but Mom’s car had been there…
No.
It had just been a day since I’d been at the house.
I shook my head, tears streaming down my face. My mother was dead.
No!
Zane put his hand on my shoulder, and I turned to him. “You know who did this, right?” I asked him through my tears.
He nodded; a sad expression was on his face. “It was Andrew.”
“That’s what I thought,” I agreed. I just knew… that he would do something. I didn’t think he’d go as far as murdering a human, but I shouldn’t have been so surprised. He’d wanted to kill me for power. He probably still did.
I continued to cry, trying to stop thinking about the note that Mom had left. I looked at Zane again. “That note that she left… she didn’t even say she loved me. She just told me to leave and stop bothering them.”
His expression contorted in pain for me. “Amy… I’m so sorry.”
“Is it bad…?” I tried to ask. “Is it bad not to miss someone who never loved or missed you?”
That was what was happening. I’d never really known my mother, and she’d never tried to know me. I was crying because it didn’t really hurt as much as it really should have.
Zane pondered my question for a few minutes, really thinking it all through. Finally, he shook his head.
“It’s not wrong or bad. If they never loved or cared about you, you have no reason to love or care about them.”
I nodded. “What if you’ll miss them, but you know they’ll never miss you if the situation was reversed?”
He shrugged. “That’s your decision.”
I tried to smile, but it probably looked more like a grimace. “Thanks, Zane.”
After a minute, he spoke again. “I know it’s hard, but… now you really have no reason to stay here.” He paused and looked anywhere except at me. “You could go and live on Ellem if you wanted to, and leave Earth and everyone behind.”
That confused me. “I didn’t think I’d be able to make it to Ellem. I thought that since I still had human in me, I wouldn’t be able to go there.”
He shrugged. “I’d just have to get you permission from Queen Samira, and I don’t think that would really be a problem. She would do anything to make sure that Andrew never got his hands on you again.”
I thought about the offer. Could it be that easy? Could I just leave and never come back?
I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Zane, but I don’t know. Earth is where I was born and raised. It’s my home. I just don’t know if I’d be able to leave everything so easily.”
He nodded, accepting my answer instantly. “Okay.”
I smiled as I thought it over. I could just leave? “I think I might… maybe, in the future. I could leave and you wouldn’t have to go back and forth. It might be a little while, though. It could take a few years…”
I didn’t know if I was making the right decision, but I’d gone through school here and always had plans for myself. I’d even gotten a scholarship to Columbia because I’d wanted to get away. I couldn’t just throw it all away and leave.
If things got worse, though, I would leave with Zane and go to Ellem, never looking back at the world that had treated me so wrongly.
Zane grinned. “That sounds cool.”
I relaxed into the couch, still thinking about Mom. I thought about how she was just a memory, and she’d never really be there for me and never get the chance to love me. She would never know me or see me. She’d never scowl at me or ignore me.
I was free, but I was also without a mother.
Then again, I’d been without a mother for over a decade.
Chapter 15
Zane
I watched Amy as she slept. I knew I was going to have to leave her again, and it pained me greatly.
I had to check in with Queen Samira. She’d get angry with me if I waited much longer, and since Amy was asleep, I decided to go ahead and leave.
I wrote her a quick note, saying that I’d be gone for a few hours at the most.
Then I looked down at my watch that wasn’t really a watch. It was actually a special teleportation device that took me to the last place I’d used it. Queen Samira had given it to me when I’d first gotten the assignment eighteen years ago. She’d set it for Earth, and then I couldn’t use it unless I had to get back to Ellem. If I used it to go somewhere else, I’d have to travel through space the long way.
I hit the button and off I went.
In less than a second, I was in the palace.
I ran to the throne room, switching to Air form. If I wasn’t in my natural state, it would be seen as being disrespectful to the queen.
“Queen Samira!” I exclaimed, bo
wing when I got close enough, which was kind of hard to do when you were air.
“Hello, Officer Ellen,” she replied in her regal voice, since there were others in the room. She looked really beautiful; she was in her Earth form and had a face made of wood. It sounded strange when you think about it, but it was really pretty on her.
“I came with an update on Amelia Saunders,” I said. I quickly told her how she was now safe and in my apartment, and that Andrew Ellen had murdered her mother out of spite.
After I was finished, the queen nodded. “Okay,” she said, still processing everything I’d told her. “Just keep her safe, and if Mr. Ellen gets ahold of her again and takes her essence from her, I’m holding you one hundred percent responsible.”
I nodded. “Yes, Your Majesty,” I said, bowing once more, all while trying not to shudder in the process. If she held me responsible, I would have to give up my essence to her because of my failure.
I left the throne room and transported back.
When I arrived back, I saw that Amy was still fast asleep. I sighed in relief that she was safe and threw away the note I’d written.
I looked at the clock and did the math. I’d been gone for two and a half hours. Ellem’s time ran slightly faster than Earth’s, so it wasn’t very surprising. I’d actually done better than usual. Usually, I had more to report and stayed there for what seemed like a few hours, but when I came back days had passed.
When I looked at Amy again, I noticed that her shirt was steaming. I looked closer and felt the air around her. She was using fire, and she didn’t know it because she was asleep.
“No,” she mumbled. “No, Andrew. No.” She shook her head slightly as she murmured in her sleep. “I’ll burn you… if… closer…”
As soon as I realized what she was doing, I shook her awake. She was burning up, which was not good. “Amy, wake up!”
When she was awake, she looked around. “Zane…?” she slurred, still half asleep.
