by Lylah James
His arms wrapped around my waist, but I pushed him away, hard. He stumbled over his feet before quickly straightening up, his face a mask of complete bewilderment.
“You want to know the truth, right? Fine. I’ll tell you,” I yelled, my chest heaving with exertion. My harsh breathing filled the room, and Alessio looked in pain.
“I believe y—” he started to say, but I talked over him.
“I was sixteen when I was raped.” Alessio’s mouth snapped shut, his jaw clenching as his eyes glittered with a sudden rage. But I continued, pushing forward in my own anger.
“The man who I was supposed to marry raped me on my sixteenth birthday, and he continued to do so every single night for seven years.” I choked on the last words.
Tears blinded my vision as the memories assaulted me. They flashed in front of my eyes, and my body shook as if I was experiencing all the nights of torture again.
“My father never did anything. He never even paid attention to me. I was alone, never allowed to leave the house. And then he handed me over to him. A cruel man who destroyed me.”
As I revealed my truth, I saw Alessio’s face changing. So much fury. I could feel it from where I was standing. The air around us grew rigid as my words echoed around us.
“Who hurt you?” he growled, his body prowling forward to me. His voice was deadly, his words so sharp it felt like a whip had sliced through the air. And his eyes…the look he gave me was completely ferocious.
I could see the monster there. The one everyone feared.
I felt my chest start to burn with the pressure building there. I didn’t know how to feel. He looked in pain for me…but he was also the cause of my pain.
“He used to beat me. He would chain me to our bed and then whip me if I did something wrong or what he perceived wrong.”
His face was already a mask of rage, but it darkened more ominously as I admitted another truth. I held my breath when I saw him clenching and then unclenching his fists. Alessio did that a few times, and each time he clenched his fist, my heart squeezed.
“I was running away from home when I found you and hid in your car. That’s how we met. I’m not a spy, Alessio. I’m just someone running away from her nightmare, desperately seeking peace,” I murmured as my shoulders sagged, the anger leaving my body until I felt empty.
My mind was lost somewhere I didn’t want to go.
“I’m not your enemy. I’m just another victim,” I whispered brokenly, hoping he could hear the truth in my words. I might have been an Abandonato, but I wasn’t Alessio’s enemy. My real enemy was my own family.
Alessio’s face was thunderous as he moved into my space. Even when I placed my hands out to ward him off, he didn’t stop. He kept moving until he was in front of me, my shoulders held tightly in his hands. I flinched when his fingers dug into my skin.
“Who?” One simple word but it spoke volume. The raw brutal energy coming off Alessio wrapped around us. He exuded danger, his eyes filled with murderous intent.
When I didn’t answer, he shook me, his beautiful bluish eyes darkening even further. “Who the fuck hurt you, Ayla?” Alessio roared.
“You!” I screamed, pushing him away from me. A sudden surge of anger coursed through my body again. “You hurt me. You are hurting me.”
He flinched at my words, his body tensing fiercely. Hurt flashed over his face, his eyebrows pulling together tensely.
“I never had hopes for my father or the man he handed me to. I grew numb in their hands, learning to block away the pain. But you.” I pointed at Alessio. “You hurt me because I trusted you. I gave you everything. I let you touch me—” I broke off on the last words. I gave you my heart.
Deep regret was written over his face as he stayed rooted on the spot. “Ayla, please let me…”
“When I ran away, I didn’t expect to find peace. I didn’t even know what I wanted until I found you. You brought me peace. I was basking in this light until you took it away,” I snapped, my voice rising.
I felt something wet on my cheeks and brought my hand up. I didn’t even realize I was crying. Alessio made an agonized sound at the sight of my tears, and he moved forward again, wrapping his arms around me before I could say anything else.
My head was right over his loudly racing heart. His arms tightened around me at my next words. “You were my savior. My own guardian angel.”
At the word Angel, I felt him suck in a harsh breath, his arms growing impossibly tight around me. “But it feels like my heart is splintering into pieces right now, Alessio.”
Pulling away from me, he palmed my cheeks. “I’m sorry, Ayla. So sorry. Just let me explain,” he pleaded.
“What do you want to explain, Alessio? I heard it loud and clear. The truth was right there. Sasha came out of your office. You touched her. And then you admitted getting close to me because you thought I was a traitor. What is there left to say?” I muttered softly, losing all the battle in me.
“You didn’t—”
“I need you to leave.”
We both spoke at the same time, our words clashing together. Alessio flinched, and my heart clenched.
“No. I’m not leaving until you listen to me,” he stated firmly.
“I can’t do this right now. Just leave, Alessio.”
“No.”
“Leave!” I screamed, pushing him away. God, why couldn’t he understand? If he didn’t leave, I was going to break down right there in front of him. My thoughts and feelings were in turmoil.
I saw Viktor appear in the doorway. He walked inside and stopped behind Alessio. “Alessio, let’s go. Give her some time,” he said softly.
“No. Stay the fuck out of this, Viktor,” he snapped, his voice hard. His gaze was still glued on mine, and I looked away.
“I want you to leave,” I bit out.
He shook his head stubbornly. “I’m not leaving until you listen to me.”
“I don’t want to listen to you! Just leave,” I snapped back. He moved toward me, but Viktor held him back.
“Let’s go, Alessio.”
Turning away from them, I faced the wall, tuning them out. I heard them arguing, and the door closed after a few minutes.
Then complete and utter silence. I stood in the darkness as the silence surrounded me. The tears fell down my cheeks, and I made no effort to swipe them away.
With a resigned sigh, I got into our bed and pulled the covers over me. The bed felt big and empty without Alessio. It was the first time I would be sleeping without him since he brought me to his room.
My tears soaked his pillow as I laid on his side of the bed. His scent enveloped me, and my heart ached, knowing he wasn’t here with me. I had pushed him away, but I was now missing his presence.
I told him the truth about my past. Part of it. I still left out the part where I was an Abandonato. During our fight, the truth was at the tip of my tongue. I wished I could have told him, but the fear of his reaction always stopped me.
The irony of this situation was almost laughable.
I accused him of betraying me. But I was betraying him too. By keeping this truth from him, I was betraying his trust.
I was angry at Alessio, but some of that anger was directed to me too. And that was exactly why I needed him to leave. With Alessio, I was weak. My emotions were uncontrollable when he was around.
Closing my burning eyes, I hugged his pillow to my chest. I prayed that sleep would come fast.
But it didn’t. My chest was still unbearably tight.
Chapter 11
The next morning was filled with tension and anxiety. My stomach twisted dangerously, and my heart was constantly aching. Stepping out of our bedroom, I saw Viktor walking around the corner. His steps faltered at the sight of me.
Giving me a nod, he walked closer. “You should have let Alessio explain,” he stated curtly without any greeting.
“I heard what I needed to know. Nothing he would say can change the truth,” I replied, holding h
is cold eyes, and they burned into mine.
He shook his head. “And that’s where you are wrong. Let him explain, and you’ll understand.”
“He hurt me,” I whispered.
Viktor’s eyes softened, and he took a step closer until we were only inches apart. “He is a confused man, but he cares about you deeply.”
“If he cared, he wouldn’t have touched Sasha.” My voice was barely a whisper as Viktor’s words registered in my mind. I wanted so badly to believe him.
Alessio cared. I knew that. I saw it in his eyes. But his betrayal still left a gaping hole in me.
Viktor’s hand came up to my face, and he pressed his thumb lightly over my cheek, brushing away the single drop of tear that had escaped. I looked up and saw him glancing briefly over my head. Something flashed in his eyes. It was so quick I didn’t have a chance to catch it.
And then everything happened so fast.
One minute, Viktor was standing in front of me, comforting me in some way, and then his lips were on mine.
I blinked rapidly and let out a gasp, my hands going to his chest. He didn’t kiss me. His lips were just there, pressing into mine gently and almost feather light.
When I heard a roar from behind me, I flinched and quickly pulled away, Viktor releasing me without any struggle.
It was almost a blur. Viktor was ripped away and slammed against the wall; Alessio held him tight against the wall as he landed a few furious punches into his face.
“Oh my God,” I squeaked, my hands going to my mouth in shock. “Stop!” I yelled.
Alessio’s face was filled with murderous intent. Viktor punched him back, but it only pissed him off. “If you fucking touch her again, I will kill you,” he hissed into Viktor’s face.
Running to them, I tried to pull Alessio off Viktor. But he was unmovable. Holding his arm, I pulled hard, finally bringing his attention to me. Alessio glanced up, his glare intense and fierce.
“Stop! Let him go, Alessio.”
I felt his tense muscles relax under my fingers. That was when I noticed my hand on his back, and without thinking, I was rubbing his shoulders, almost soothingly. Quickly removing my hand, I took a step back, and he pushed himself away from Viktor.
Alessio tried to wrap his arms around me, but I skirted around him, moving away from his touch. “What is wrong with you?” Without waiting for his answer, I turned to Viktor. “And you? Don’t ever do that again.” Glancing at Alessio, I continued. “Don’t lower yourself to his level. You are better than that,” I said, my words meant for Viktor.
I watched Alessio flinch at my words, hurt flashing in his eyes. I wanted him to hurt. I wanted him to feel what I was feeling.
Giving the man who held my heart in the palm of his hands a final glance, I walked away. I heard him call my name, but I kept walking.
I needed Maddie.
Making my way to the kitchen, I found it empty. It was still early in the morning. She probably wasn’t even awake yet. I walked back upstairs, where I knew her room was.
I heard a sleepy reply, and a few seconds later, the door opened to reveal a half-asleep Maddie. “Ayla?” she questioned. “Is everything okay? I heard yelling.”
“No. Nothing is okay,” I replied, walking inside and closing the door behind me. Her eyes widened, and she quickly grabbed my hand, pulling me to the bed.
“What’s wrong? Did Alessio do something?” she asked, her voice rising with alarm.
Taking a deep breath, I let everything out. Her eyes glittered with anger at my words, and finally she let out a tired sigh when I finished. She placed a comforting hand over my knee.
“This is a mess.” I agreed. “Why didn’t you let him explain?” she questioned.
“I don’t know, Maddie. I was just so angry and hurt. If I had let him explain, I would have probably not believed anything he would have said,” I murmured, looking down at my lap.
“I can’t believe he would do something like that,” Maddie grumbled under her breath. “What are you going to do now?”
I closed my eyes with a sigh. “I don’t know.”
I didn’t know how to feel. So I was just going to retreat back and lick my wounds, needing time to think and understand.
I needed to be away from Alessio. Until this pain disappeared and I could breathe normally again, without it feeling like my chest was being squeezed tightly.
***
I was sitting on my bed when I heard a knock on the door. “Come in,” I called out, placing my book down.
The door opened, and Viktor walked in, holding a tray of food. I winced at the sight of him. His face was multiple shades of red and purple. When I raised an eyebrow at him in question, he grumbled something under his breath.
“What is this?” I asked as he placed the tray on the nightstand and sat down on the bed beside me.
“I brought you dinner. I heard from Maddie that you didn’t eat anything since this morning,” he replied briskly.
“Oh.” I looked at the tray and then back at him again. “Thank you.”
“Did you talk to Alessio?”
My shoulders went rigid at his name. We hadn’t seen each other since this morning, when he fought with Viktor. It wasn’t because of his lack of effort. Alessio had tried to talk to me on numerous occasions, but I walked away every time.
“No. I haven’t talked to him,” I replied before taking the book in my hands again. I stared at the pages but couldn’t bring myself to read. My concentration was elsewhere.
Viktor and I were both silent for a few minutes. “About this morning, I apologize.”
Glancing up at him, I waited for him to continue. He was staring at the wall, and I saw his lips lift up in a small smirk. “Scratch that. I’m not apologizing for kissing you.” He turned toward me before continuing. “I never apologize for kissing a pretty lady.”
I mentally scoffed and looked down at the book again. “But I had my reasons for doing what I did. I needed to get my point across.”
Curious to where he was going with this, I glanced up again, this time giving him my full attention. “To you, I needed you to see his reaction. If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t have reacted the way he did. He doesn’t give a shit if I fuck around with the other women he slept with. But you…only you can get that type of reaction out of him.”
My stomach warmed at his words.
“And it was barely even a kiss. He cares deeply, Ayla.”
My fingers tightened around the edge of my book as he continued. “And to him. He is a stubborn son of a bitch. He needed to come to his senses, and that was the perfect way to do it.”
I felt my heart wrench, and my eyes stung with unshed tears. Blinking them away, I refused to cry again.
When I didn’t answer, he got up and gave me a nod before walking away. As he neared the door, I called out, halting his movement.
My gaze moved to the tray on my nightstand. Keeping my eyes on it, I asked the question that I already knew the answer to.
“It was Alessio who sent you here, right?”
From the corner of my eyes, I saw Viktor turning around to face me. “He knew you didn’t eat. Alessio was bringing the tray to you but realized he wouldn’t be welcomed. He didn’t want to cause you anymore pain.”
His words made my heart ache. Not in a good way. A sense of guilt overcame me, but I quickly pushed it away. One thing I knew for sure was Alessio didn’t eat, either.
“Can you please make sure he eats?” I asked softly. Viktor sighed and then nodded before leaving the room.
As soon as the door was closed, I pushed my book away and laid down on my back, staring at the ceiling thoughtfully.
Maybe I was being too stubborn, but it had come to a point where I didn’t know how to face him.
All my life I never had a choice. Whatever was done to me, I had to accept it without any complaints. I didn’t want Alessio to think that everything was acceptable, because it wasn’t. I had a choice now.
I
didn’t know how long I laid there, lost in my thoughts, but when I check the time, it was almost ten p.m. This was our time. Just us. Alessio would be waiting for me in the piano room.
My fingers were itching to play. I wanted to be there, but a small nagging part stopped me.
Chapter 12
Alessio
My heart raced as I made my way to the piano room. Sweat broke on my forehead and the back of my neck. Stopping in front of the room, I laid my hand on the knob. I sucked in a shaky breath, feeling my throat constrict.
I felt so uncertain. Worried. Scared. Panic rose like bile in my body, and my nerves were tingling.
Every minute spent without Ayla, it felt like I was going insane. My heart ached without her. I needed her. My Angel.
I wished she’d give me a chance to explain. From how it ended this morning, I wasn’t even sure she would be in the piano room. But I still hoped.
Blood rushed in my ears, and my pulse skyrocketed as I opened the door. A sea of anxiety curled in my stomach when I found the room dark and empty.
My Angel wasn’t here.
A wave of pain went through me as I stumbled back outside. How did I mess up so bad? I should have just accepted my feelings instead of trying to fight it.
Now…now I may have lost my Angel.
My heart stuttered, my eyes going wide. No. She was mine. My everything. I would have her listen to me, even if I had to fucking tie her to the bed. But she would listen to me.
At the thought of tying her to the bed, Ayla’s words resonated in my ears.
He used to beat me. He would chain me to our bed and then whip me if I did something wrong or what he perceived wrong.
I went still, my chest growing tight. Closing my eyes, a fresh wave of pain hit me with a ferocious intensity. Each of Ayla’s words felt like a serrated edge over my heart.
I never thought that Ayla had been through all of this. The thought of her going through so much pain made my blood boil, until the monster inside of me was raging to spill blood. His blood.
When I get my hands on the bastard, he is going down.
