by Pandora Pine
Ten burst out laughing. He hopped out of the truck just as Kaye came out of the house dressed all in black.
“Christ, we’re not going to Johnny Cash karaoke after the funeral home, are we?” Ronan asked before Kaye got to the passenger side door.
“Once again, Ronan, this is Kansas, not Arkansas.” Tennyson rolled his eyes before turning to Kaye. “Good morning, Mother. Do you need a hand getting into the truck?”
“No thank you. I can manage.” Kaye squared her shoulders and reached up for door the handle while trying to step up onto the running board. She slipped the first time, but managed to get the hang of it on the second try.
Ronan felt his gut clench over the fact that Kaye would rather risk falling and breaking a hip than allowing her gay son to help her into the truck. He shook his head. There was nothing he could do about it now. If Kaye wanted to be as stubborn as a pack of mules, then let her.
Tennyson called out directions from the back seat to help Ronan navigate to Union Chapel’s only mortuary. Locke and Bright Funeral Home was located on the opposite end of town out by the Calvary Baptist Church.
“One of the undertakers is named Bright?” Ronan chuckled at Ten in the rearview mirror. I would have thought Grimm would have been a better name for that job.”
“Are you always so jovial, Ronan? We are about to discuss my husband’s funeral. I would appreciate it if you could can the levity.” Kaye popped the door open and struggled to get out of the truck unassisted. He turned away when her black dress rode up in the back revealing her black slip.
Ronan said a quick prayer for patience, otherwise, he and Ten were going to need to pick out two coffins today.
10
Ronan
Ronan hadn’t needed to buy a second coffin but it had been a near thing on two separate occasions. The first was when Kaye insisted that David have the top of the line coffin which would have cost nearly as much as Ronan and Tennyson’s new house and then the second time when Kaye insisted that Tennyson not be allowed to sit in the front pew during the service.
Up until that moment in time, Ronan hadn’t minded playing peacemaker. He’d even had a spot of fun at Kaye’s expense, but he’d had a hard time not losing his temper when she’d asked both of them to sit at the back of the church like second-class citizens, rather than family.
Now that he and Tennyson were back at the Inn, Ronan could vent and try to relax. Tennyson had decided to go for a hot stone massage at the spa and wouldn’t be back for at least an hour. He grabbed his laptop and headed out to the private garden just outside their room.
Opening up Skype, he hit Truman’s name in his contact list and prayed his friend was available to chat.
“Hello, hello!” Truman greeted. His green eyes were filled with happiness. “Hey, Cap! Get in here! I’ve got Lewis! Where the hell is Clark? Is he out walking the Oregon Trail?”
“Ha, ha! Very funny!” Ronan rolled his eyes at his best friend. He’d known that the famous explorers had trekked through Kansas. It appeared that Truman did as well. “Tennyson is off having a hot stone massage.”
“Christ, it’s that bad, huh?” Fitzgibbon’s face filled the computer screen.
“Hey, boss.” Ronan waved.
“It’s just us, Ronan. Cole and Carson are out taking the babies for a walk. So. spill it. On a scale of one to ten, how bad is Tennyson’s mother?”
“On a scale of one to ten?” Ronan tilted his head and considered it. “Nine hundred and twelve!” he announced.
“Jesus Christ,” Kevin muttered.
Truman just sat there with his mouth hanging open. “It’s really that bad?”
“We took the old bat to the funeral home today to plan David’s funeral and after we told her several times that his life insurance plan wouldn’t pay for the twenty-five-thousand-dollar casket that she wanted, Kaye told Tennyson and I that we couldn’t sit up front in the family pew, we’d have to sit in the back.”
“In the back of the church?” Truman gasped. “I can’t believe it.”
“She also has rules that Ten and I need to follow.” Ronan pinched the bridge of his nose. He felt a migraine coming on.
“What kind of rules?” Fitzgibbon’s eyes narrowed.
“No kissing, hugging, touching, hand holding, or public displays of affection.” Kaye didn’t mind if they paid for lunch but he didn’t want to sound bitchy by telling his friends about that.
Truman rolled his eyes so hard, Ronan was surprised he didn’t give himself a concussion. “I just feel lucky we’re allowed to speak to each other in her exalted presence.”
“That’s it.” Fitzgibbon slapped his hand down on the desk in front of Truman’s laptop. “We’re coming out there. You need people at that funeral who love you and who are on your side.”
Ronan shook his head. “You can’t do that, Kevin. Someone needs to be at the helm in Cold Case since your best detective is on the bench, and besides, isn’t Greeley’s GED test tomorrow?”
“Your best detective is on the bench?” Truman asked, turning to Fitzgibbon. “You didn’t tell me Ortiz was out.”
“Funny, asshole. Real funny.” Ronan could see both of his friends laughing on screen. Okay, maybe it was a little funny. It would have been hilarious if he’d been the one to make the joke.
“Yes, Greeley’s GED test is tomorrow. He’s gonna ace that damn thing. He’s been studying his ass off for weeks.”
“I know he has. I want to do something big for him when you get the test results.” Ronan was so damned proud of that kid.
“What, you mean like take us all out to dinner?” Fitzgibbon was grinning.
“Well, yeah, that too, but I was thinking of buying him a car.”
“What?” Fitzgibbon practically roared. “A car?”
“Not a Mercedes or anything too extravagant. He’s gonna need something reliable to get back and forth to class with and you’re gonna be busy paying his tuition.” Ronan shrugged. “Ten and I talked about it. We have some cash from the royalties of the reality show and there wouldn’t have been a show if you didn’t agree to the crazy idea. Think about it?” Ronan suggested.
Fitzgibbon nodded. “I will, on one condition.” He raised an eyebrow at Ronan.
Oh shit… Ronan’s goose was cooked now. “What’s the condition?”
“That you consider letting me and Greeley come out for the funeral. When is it anyway?”
“Thursday.” Ronan sighed. “Fine. I’ll think about it.”
“Good!” Fitzgibbon clapped his hands together. “So will I.”
“It’s good seeing friendly faces. I miss you guys.”
“We miss you too.” Truman nodded.
“How’s Dixie, Cap?” Ronan missed that puppy like crazy.
“Sleeping off one hell of a hangover.” Fitzgibbon grinned like a fool.
“What?” Ronan wanted to dive through the screen and choke his boss.
“Kidding, Ronan. Calm down. She and Greeley are studying.”
“Damn, he’s really determined to pass this test, huh?”
“There’s a little more to it than that.” Fitzgibbon’s green eyes sparkled.
“What do you mean?” Ronan asked.
“I told him that if he got a 95% or higher on the test, I’d get him a puppy. Rumor has it that one of Dixie’s sisters is still available at the animal shelter.”
“What?” Ronan shrieked. “What are you doing sitting there! Go get her before someone else adopts her!”
Truman bent down and when he sat back up in his chair he was holding a tiny ball of fur that on first blush, Ronan would have sworn was Dixie. “Tah Dah!”
“There’s no way that my kid isn’t going to ace that test, Ronan. We got the dog yesterday. I’m gonna let Greeley name her, but I’m kind of partial to calling her Lola.”
“Lola was a showgirl, you know.” Truman laughed.
Ronan groaned. “That’s it! I’m out of here before this call turns into Barry Manilow karaoke
. Bye, Lola! Uncle Ronan loves you! Don’t piddle on my living room rug! Bye guys! Don’t piddle on my living room rug!” Ronan hit the disconnect button before anyone could argue or offer to come to Kansas.
He had to admit that Skype call made him feel a little homesick. Greeley had his big test in the morning and here he was half the country away. His life and his friends were back in Salem. All he had to do was get through the next few days and then he and Tennyson could put Union Chapel, Kansas in their rearview for good.
11
Tennyson
Thursday dawned grey with threatening skies. Even though Tennyson had been living outside of Kansas for thirteen years now, he still knew to pay attention to the weather when the skies turned steely-grey like this. Kansas was smack dab in the middle of Tornado Alley.
“Hey, are you ready to go in yet?” Ronan asked from behind him.
Ten turned his attention from the sky just as thunder rumbled past. “Almost.” They’d picked Kaye up at her house and driven out to the Union Chapel Calvary Baptist Church about forty-five minutes ago. Kaye had wanted to go over the service with the Reverend Greene. Tennyson had decided to stay out in the parking lot. He was still shocked that after all of these years Pastor Greene was still leading the flock.
“Is it because you don’t want to face your old minister? Or because you’re afraid of getting struck by lightning when you walk into the church?” Ronan snorted at his own joke.
“I’ve been in plenty of churches, Ronan. I’ve never once been afraid of being struck by lightning. I guess seeing the rev is part of it. I mean, today is when this Magical Mystery Tour gets real, you know?” Ten shook his head and looked back up at the gathering storm clouds. They were the perfect metaphor to describe how he was feeling. “Up until now, the only person from my past I’ve seen, aside from my mother is Cal Farmer. Today is going to be the mother lode.”
“Not everyone is going to be as fabulous as Cal,” Ronan agreed. “All we can do is hold our heads high.”
“Ronan,” Ten turned back around to face his love. “What are we going to do about mother’s decree that we sit in the back of the church? I mean, how ridiculous is that?”
Sighing heavily, Ronan picked up Tennyson’s left hand and kissed his engagement ring. “I was thinking a lot about that last night. The best thing to do is appeal to your mother’s vanity. If she really is afraid of people gossiping behind her back, then nothing is going to start that faster than the two of us sitting in the back of the church.”
“I’ll mention that to her.” Ten wrapped his arms around Ronan and held on tight.
“I hate to break up this amazing hug, but there are a line of cars heading down Route 20. Is that the funeral crowd?” Ronan kissed the top of Tennyson’s head.
“Yeah, we’d better head on in there.” Ten pulled away from Ronan. He looked up at the white-washed wooden façade of the church and shivered, despite the warmth of the October day. He’d spent some of the worst days of his life confined inside the walls of this building.
“It’s only four walls and a roof, Ten. It can’t hurt you. Neither can the man preaching inside it. I’ve got you. Hear me? I’m at your side through all of this. We’re gonna get through this day and we’re gonna go back to the hotel and get dirty in that jacuzzi together. Then we’ll curl up in the fluffy hotel robes and watch old reruns of The Odd Couple. The original one. Not that rebooted shit with that douche from Friends, okay?”
“I like those fluffy hotel robes.” Ten sighed.
“I’ll see if I can get Aaron to comp us two when we check out.”
“Ronan,” Ten rolled his eyes. “Don’t take advantage of the fact that he’s enamored of you.”
“Don’t worry, babe!” Ronan smacked a kiss against the back of Tennyson’s hand. “I’m taking it out in trade.”
“Like hell you are!” Tennyson’s dark eyes burned with fury. “If he so much as lays a finger on you, I’ll-”
Ronan snorted. “Not that kind of trade. Jeez, give me a little credit. I asked Fitzgibbon to send me some BPD swag. You know, tee-shirts, a windbreaker, and a water bottle. I asked Carson to do the same with stuff from the Magick shop.”
“Oh, you mean an actual trade?” Ten blushed. “I’m sorry Ronan. I don’t know what got into me. It’s this place and these people.”
“I know, Ten. Let’s get this over with.” Ronan took his hand and led him toward the double doors leading into the church. Ronan dropped his hand to open the doors. “Lord forbid there be any public displays of affection.”
“I want to go home, Ronan.” He knew he sounded like a tired preschooler, but he didn’t care. It was the truth.
“You are home, sweetheart. You’re with me.” Ronan kissed Ten’s forehead and opened the door.
As heartwarming as Ronan’s sentiment was, all of that good feeling was washed away a moment later when Tennyson stepped into his childhood house of worship. It all looked the same as it had on the Sunday before his high school graduation.
The hardwood floors shone, as did the honey-colored wood of the pews. The same wooden cross hung above the altar. The only thing that was different was the rose-draped coffin at the front of the main aisle.
“Oh, Tennyson, there you are.” Kaye said. “Reverend Greene, you remember my son, don’t you?”
“Yes, it’s good to see you after so many years. I was very saddened by your father’s sudden passing. He was a wonderful member of our church.”
Tennyson nodded. “Thank you, reverend. That means a lot.”
“And who is your friend?”
“This is my-”
“This is Detective Ronan O’Mara from the Boston Police Department, Reverend,” Kaye cut in.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Reverend Greene. Tennyson has told me a lot about you.” Ronan smiled warmly as he shook the reverend’s hand.
“Oh, has he? Are you a Baptist as well, Ronan?”
Ronan shook his head. “No, sir. I was raised in the Catholic Church. Went through twelve years of parochial school before I entered the police academy.”
“You’re a Catholic? A Papist?” Kaye asked. She was looking at him with more disgust than usual.
“I’m an Irishman from Boston, Kaye. What did you think I was?” Ronan asked with a cheeky grin on his face.
“I… Well, I don’t suppose it matters.” She turned around and looked toward the door. “You’ll both excuse me. The other guests are arriving.”
“Guests? Mom, this is a funeral, not a garden party,” Ten said through gritted teeth.
Kaye straightened her shoulders. “Just remember what I said about where you and Ronan are to sit.”
“Have you thought of what your answer will be when people ask you why your son and his friend sat in the back of the church during the funeral?” Tennyson raised an eyebrow.
“If anyone asks me, I’m just going to tell them that it’s because of this church’s gays-in-the-back-pews policy.” Ronan shrugged and walked toward David’s casket.
Kaye gasped audibly when Ronan knelt beside it and made the sign of the cross. Her hand fluttered to her chest.
“Keep it up, Mom and we’ll be able to get the church’s two for one special.” Not bothering to see his mother’s reaction, Ten headed toward Ronan who was getting back to his feet after paying his respects to David Grimm, who just so happened to be standing beside his own casket. “What are you doing here, Dad?”
“I thought all spirits came to their own funeral? Isn’t that what you said to Michael Frye’s mother? I want to see what kind of a turnout I get. Tell Ronan thanks for the nice prayer. I don’t even know him and he’s wishing me peace.”
“David is thanking you for the prayer. Kaye nearly had a heart attack when you genuflected.” Ten bit his lower lip to try to keep from smiling.
“Oh, good! Two for the price of one.” Ronan grinned.
“David wants to know why you’re wishing him peace when you didn’t even know him and he was such a
jerk to me while he was still alive.”
“I never said I was a jerk, son.” David frowned.
“No, you didn’t say you were a jerk, Dad. I did.” Ten crossed his arms over his chest. “Go on, Ronan. Explain this theory.”
“As you can tell from your son’s sarcastic attitude, he doesn’t agree with my theory that when someone dies, their transgressions die with them. I mean, to a certain degree. I don’t hold to this theory when it comes to the murderers I arrest, but when it comes to your own misinformed notions about homosexuality and Tennyson’s gift being God-given, I think it rings true. David, as far as I’m concerned, your sins were absolved when you took your last breath. In my book anyway. It’s going to take a little time on Tennyson’s part and a little repentance on your own, for him to feel the same way.”
“And there’s just the woman who can make it all make sense.” Tennyson laughed. “Hi, Bertha.”
“Hi, Tenny! I haven’t wanted to show my face in case you were mad at me for bringing your father to you after he passed.” Bertha set her hands on Tennyson’s cheeks.
“I’m not mad, Bertha. As you can imagine, these haven’t been the easiest days of my life.”
“But they haven’t been the roughest either, right? I mean you’ve been kidnapped, sat by Ronan’s bedside after he was shot, you chased after a serial killer, and you lost your gift for nearly a month. Being back in your hometown for a week should be a cakewalk, right?” Bertha laughed.
“You chased after a serial killer?” David asked. His eyes were so wide, they were bulging out of his head.
“I chased after a serial killer twice,” Ten said, puffing out his chest.
“Damn straight he did.” Ronan grinned.
“Ronan, you just said ‘damn’ in church,” Tennyson whispered.
“Uh, I hate to break it to you, sugar plum, but so did you!” Ronan waggled his eyebrows.
“Don’t look now, Butch and Sundance, but the two of you are attracting your own little flock of paparazzi.” Bertha pointed behind Ronan and Tennyson.
Ten tried his best to surreptitiously look down the main aisle of the church without making it obvious he was looking. “Rats.”
